Hmmmm... I always thought his middle name was “fucking”...?
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Hmmmm... I always thought his middle name was “fucking”...?
lamenamenumbers
Member
Did you hear about the vampire who became a poet? He went from bat to verse.......
lamenamenumbers
Member
some halloween groaners
some halloween groaners
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts!
Why did the ghost go to rehab? Because he was addicted to boos.
Have you ever been kissed by a vampire? What a pain in the neck.
How does a witch keep her hair up? With scarespray!
some halloween groaners
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts!
Why did the ghost go to rehab? Because he was addicted to boos.
Have you ever been kissed by a vampire? What a pain in the neck.
How does a witch keep her hair up? With scarespray!
When I was born I was given two choices. To have perfect memory, or to have a big penis. I forgot which one I chose..
Me too! But i didnt post it here cuz I didnt think it was a joke...
Snook
Still Learning
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.
She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.
H
HaHaHashish
Colorado TV weatherman "...and the high today was..."
and everyone listening at home while high yells out "..was excellent!"
and everyone listening at home while high yells out "..was excellent!"
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R
Robrites
Water
R
Robrites
Water those plants or they are going to die!
Brunette: "Hurry! Get in the truck and let's hide in these sacks!" Cop pokes each sack with a knife. Brunette: "Meow!" Red Head: "Woof!" Blonde: "Potatoes!"
