Spit a Freestyle, it's worth your while

[Jam Master Jaco]

I'm done calling people out, I'm done being mean
I pulled up to home depot and called a mexican a bean
when I say I said that I'm just really lying
I'm a nice person so when I'm rude I'm just trying
to get lots of attention, all eyes on me
when I molest boy scouts I get sex for free

aww yeah I crack me up...like the crack of an ass
when trains get pulled on women I'm the one who says "pass"
I prefer true love and only one vagina per life
then I kill the mood by F'ing it with a knife

my weiner is small, five and half inches
when I visit my Auntie she gives it pinches
my humor is sour, I laugh at black's lynches
then go to halloween town and F all the wenches

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

someone gave me rep cuz of my small penis
said not to be ashamed, but i'm just being heinous
first of all this is the internet, I'm stationed on Venus
we'll never meet each other so for all you know I'm genius
perhaps I'm not the person that I online portray
I'm a fat little midget did I mention that I'm gay?
I like wiener in my butt I could be the catcher all day
then videotape myself and sell it on Ebay
I enjoy ripping on myself because I'm amused at what I say
but thanks for the rep dude when I saw it I was like "yay"

*edit* Ok everyone I'm being completely serious
I'm gonna kill myself cuz I'm just delirious
My wiener is too small and I've never lied
but I don't get appreciated so I'll commit suicide
everyone will be like "aww but he was so chill"
but I'm too depressed and my head is too ill
Haaaaaaaaaaa if you really believe this then I fucking rule
I'm gonna get drunk and swim naked in the community pool
then when I get arrested for being a public naked ho'
I'll tell the cops this story and they'll smile and say "you're free to go"

Cuz I ruuuuuuuuullllle

 

[Delta9-THC]

A summary of society with my thumb-rule

so , dislexus
I hear you talkin "rule of thumb"
but
do you even know where that shits from?

back in the days where
you were legally allowed to beat your spouse

the rule of thumb referred to the width of stick you kept in the house
no question of how long it could be
or if it was evil
as long as its that wide as your thumb
that crap was legal

back then when opiates werent even for the masses
but just the higher more dignified side of the "classes"
when they grew their own field to medicate
cannabis , poppys and coca bushes owned by the state
no not the states
but the country where Im from ...
the one you all remember william wallis charging at screaming
"FREEDOM"

I mean the ones who own the lands and have a heirachy
but f"ck that shit
I'd rather live in anarchy
till world war three

Dark knight of the round table
blessed is this fable
and you aint able
to understand
so I overstand with gabriel
the lost angel ,
always descending down from his throne
to walk upon this earth of fire, water and stone
and when I went up to meet him , he said welcome home
to this place
these streets , all the places you've known

so,
Peace

 

[Delta9-THC]

*edit* Ok everyone I'm being completely serious
I'm gonna kill myself cuz I'm just delirious
My wiener is too small and I've never lied
but I don't get appreciated so I'll commit suicide
everyone will be like "aww but he was so chill"
but I'm too depressed and my head is too ill
Haaaaaaaaaaa if you really believe this then I fucking rule
I'm gonna get drunk and swim naked in the community pool
then when I get arrested for being a public naked ho'
I'll tell the cops this story and they'll smile and say "you're free to go"

Cuz I ruuuuuuuuullllle

but just before they smile and say "your free to go"
they'll put you in a cell , then sentencing ... then being a prison ho
but it sounds like you like that or so you say
the only guy in prison screaming "Im not gay"
but wearing leather pants , somehow I dont think they'll believe you
somewhere on venus you say
well still Im sure they'll reach you
or maybe reach around ... and realise theres nothing to grab
5 inches you said ... now isnt that sad?

so now tell me how you get away with that shit
when they'll even imprison somebody who's always legit
and thats just it
so believe what-ever you like
as I said before
JMJ understand this ?
then put down the mic

oh and of course I dont mean it
Im only playing ....
just thought it might change your perspective
if I came in here slaying

Peace

 

[Delta9-THC]

and the ryhme from before , did you smoke some cabbage ?
the plant thats savoury tasty and a high thats savage

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Yo the last time I put down the mic
I sat my ass on a seatless bike
then down a bumpy hill to my friend The Dyke
she dominates me cuz that's what I like
then went to work and promptly went on strike
after negotiating with the union we went on a hike
we climbed all the way up to the peak of Pike
she's a nazi but ironic cuz she's also a kyke
her name is Hitlerita and she started the 4th reich

 

[Guest]

Yo the last time I put down the mic
I sat my ass on a seatless bike
then down a bumpy hill to my friend The Dyke
she dominates me cuz that's what I like
then went to work and promptly went on strike
after negotiating with the union we went on a hike
we climbed all the way up to the peak of Pike
she's a nazi but ironic cuz she's also a kyke
her name is Hitlerita and she started the 4th reich

continuation:


hey im from the union
stop what your doin
exposing all our secrets
and how were jews man
hitlerita is bitch but she's also the shit
beatin officials down with her blood stained whip
smack em into shape like nike...she just do it
thats about it, thats all i can say
i am from the union where live to go on strike another day
takin money from all the taxes you pay.................biotch

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

^^hahahaha nice man

when I talk about conspiracies I speak in a low tone
cuz the government listens in and not just on the phone
they're gonna break in and steal what we've grown
so like Dr. Evil I'll tell them to "throw me a friggin' bone"

 

[Guest]

^^hahahaha nice man

when I talk about conspiracies I speak in a low tone
cuz the government listens in and not just on the phone
they're gonna break in and steal what we've grown
so like Dr. Evil I'll tell them to "throw me a friggin' bone"

the continuation:

now when im on the phone i speak in a monotone
to sound like a drone
in the head of retard where noones home
when in actuality im on the phone gettin dome
i treat the chicks like pets, i throw the dogs a bone

when you talk about conspiracies you only speak of theories
given to you buy a search, damn google queries
dont pick up the mike or in this case type nothin
im the big bad wolf i knock down mc's cuz i stay huffin
and puffin on the green
no not newports, i hate the nicotine
and when i get gnats i always use the neem

 

[ElDust]

where da bud at

 

[FallenBuddha]

got off probation earlier today.
i cant find a way to properly say
how glad i was with it ending this way
i dont have to see my probation officer this monday.
wanted to ask for permission to go away
and the judge said this shit finally ends today.

peace -fb

 

[Guest]

on the block im like a pilot
i stay so high
im also like a bug
man i stay so fly
rip it to the max in khaki slacks
and i dont give a fuck if my scraper gets a scratch
on 2 wheels with the music on blast
gotta be careful so i dont dip and crash
eatin too much food yo i gotta take a smash
thats it for now but ill be back

 

[Guest]

Now hold up Billy Badass
Let me lay out the facts
The way you livin'
You just slippin'
And ya fallin fast

Yer frettin' this
But I aint sweatin' it
I truly pity ya
Wouldn't wannabe ya
Sufferin acute case
Of verbal diarrheaaa

...

Let's talk about money
Money is power
A slave to the minutes
Dollars for your hours

 

[o.gkushowns]

Catch me smoking Hawaiian snow dro
Than I get pulled over by some faggot popo
Won’t put the spliff out though cuz I’m gonna fuckin blow
Chronic in his face cuz I’m a fuckin headcase

 

[Delta9-THC]

Catch me smoking Hawaiian snow dro
Than I get pulled over by some faggot popo
Won’t put the spliff out though cuz I’m gonna fuckin blow
Chronic in his face cuz I’m a fuckin headcase

CONTINUATION:

and when that occifer , gives me the sign
to start pulling the car up before the next federal state line
Im like f"ck a fine

sirens on
"pull over, this is the police"
f"ck that ,
Im gone
sign off my rental lease

move place
next year ...
no more living in fear
do you really want some donut pig reaching in there?

like
"well well"
and
"what do we have here"
just as I say
"fuck it" "put it back" with a bat to his ear

bomb the establishment that sent them power
Im anti-establishment
and Im here to devour

Peace

 

[Guest]

Ya takin' too much time
Cuz ya deseeeediinnn' it
Roll that J quick n' tight
Cuz I'm fiieeenndiinnn' it

Ya made a tinfoil pipe
N' ya got a shady dealer
But we can try hot knives
N' at least he'll deliver

Everyday it's the same-same
Blurs right by n' ya watchin' it
World tryna turn you lame
But ya gotta stay positive
Playa keeps his mental game
N' there's no stoppin' it

 

[bagseed77]

(redneck accent)
gnaw man, no kind bud here
jsut good homegrown and cheap cold beer,
i like that hard rain tha udder day,
think dem sativas might make it anyway,
oops

,old lady gettin mad,damn necks tryin to rap is pretty dang sad

 

[Irishslappop]

smokin weed like its legal
i get drunk at the beagle
Im like a bald eagle
two different people like smeagle

and so i come at ya with the quick fast raps
i know the bay area like i studied the maps
i like to make my living off poker and craps
the ladies knees get so weak sometimes they collapse

 

[Guest]

nice just found this I been meaning to write my stuff down.. I'll just come here

 

[Guest]

thought i'd drop a line at work
while i have some time

-some time to kill
i work in a cut-throat industry
theres no more blood to spill
untill you make it to the top
after sellin a mil
and everyones after you
and your verbal skill
but im a pro...........ive got my liscense to ill

same as the beasties but that aint me
been here fo a minute, cant you see
remain here for this instance of do re mi
thats the last ounce of rhyme out of this og