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Never have I seen so many grown men of such intelligence and creativity waste their lives on delusions.
My aversion to cannabis began after smoking during first-time use of LSD. An unavoidable and sudden social engagement led to a freak out in earnest.
Fear of fear causes many to freak when they realize that they do not have any control over reality as well as maybe thinking they will be that way forever....
Most are fine if they let go and let it flow, I understand that may be difficult for someone running from the trip, but it is the solution.
I would try and make the same thing happen again and let go and let it happen, it is all just fear of the fear, it is not real.
Cannabis is a learned experience you need to relearn your experience, try lots of acid, maybe Cannabis, that should do it. Maybe just stick to Cannabis varieties you can enjoy. I know when I take 500 mics, the first 5-6 hours Cannabis does very little, it does not get me higher, at the end of a trip it helps me reenter and mellow down, maybe a bit more colors and patterns, but I am reentering, coming off the Acid. And I have no problems letting go.
I do not recommend that anyone takes acid unless they are prepared to change their thinking, and maybe their lives. It is not for fooling around, it is serious when taken in 250-500 mic doses. It can easily change your life. Look what it did to me.....
-SamS
For many years afterwards, cannabis could trigger panic with impending doom and madness. I mostly kept this to myself out of embarrassment for obviously being so weird. It was only many years later that I learned how widespread this reaction is. I think it was Kesey who spoke in an interview about the relationship between psychedelics and cannabis. After a degree of ego death, the ego resists letting go when cannabis tries to open that door a little.
Oddly, I continued to use and mostly enjoy various psychedelics over the years but weed usually spelt hell. A typical cannabis high had a rapid onset with a feeling of force compressing on the body and psyche. My body would go sedate but my mind would be vigilant and tense. I could not let go to "play in the fields of the Lord". A few years ago I grew Santa Marta Colombian Gold from Reeferman and Flo from DJ Short. After 25 years I could revisit what I had lost. These Sativas energized me but made me centered and calm mentally. I had to move and this movement channeled anxiety into pleasure and euphoria. Tripping used to involve visions and other sensory oddities if I put my mind to it. Mostly, however, it was a feeling of grace..a sort of homecoming...Deja Vu....a remembrance of something just out of reach. The right cannabis can do this.
Thanks for the thread.