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The Original O'l Farts Club.
- Thread starter Putembk
- Start date
Wow, were they at the show?
☝
Wow, those are beautiful.
.. if my last post about the inter-dimensional shape-shifting girls and the invisible spray can writing on the front lawn, the blue orbs, my neighbor, and the box of fuses doesn't make you question my sanity.. then lets let you in on..
The Drummer, The Demonic Aliens, Aluminum foil, and The Priest
After the plasma cutting on the outside brick of my house began another anomaly appeared; little demonic alien faces. Now a daily ritual I walk around my house every morning looking for more blackened etching on the bricks. It just doesn't stop. I cant catch the culprit. Its a seriously hopeless feeling but I must be strong... after all, I am a bad ass MF'er, right?
So, I began to notice tiny little bumps stippling up on the bricks from ground to roof.. growing on every brick.. Days go by they seem to get bigger. Now WTF?
One afternoon I decided to find my 5x magnifying monocle and look at those bumps. I did the WOW emoji face when I first looked. A jolt of adrenaline coursed through me.. They looked like demonic aliens.. noooooo sheeeeeeeeit. Brick after brick.. all unique in their own way not one similar. The WOW emoji face quickly turned to a frowny face. Am I being haunted by Satan?
A car pulled up my driveway. A drummer cat I haven't seen in ages pops out of his car. He's smiling, happy, and upbeat. We shoot the breeze. He asks 'so what the hell has been going on?' .. Oh, how apropos I think. I tell him I think I'm being haunted by Satan.. I tell him of the crazy things then ask him if he sees the bumps on the bricks. Yes, he says. I tell him they have been growing on my house.. theyre demonic alien heads.. What will become the soup du jour: "Are you F'n crazy? What kind of drugs are you on?". I handed him the magnifier. "Look for yourself"..
Drummer cat presses the monocle to the bricks; patiently studying them. After some time he pulls away. The happy smile was a horizontal straight line.. "Dude, you need to find Jesus.. and a priest.. you are under spiritual attack". For added measure I took him for a tour of the black etchings around the house. I took him into the basement to show him the carvings that are appearing on the wall paneling. Totally weirded and freaked out he split and hasn't been back since.
One afternoon I decided to heat up some grub in the toaster oven. I ripped off a piece of aluminum foil to lay on the rack. I held the foil in one hand and opened the door with the other. I noticed the foil almost hovering over my palm. The foil began bouncing in my hand. WTF? I held the foil on top of both of my palms.. As its bouncing it begins to crinkle and bend all over. At this point after everything that has happened I am just not that surprised or afraid.
In case my 80+ year old father walks into the kitchen I take the foil into the basement and sit on the couch. As the foil continues to bounce, bend, and crinkle I begin to see something.. Its a war scene.. Aerial attacks and ground to air defense.. little alien guys running around with long weapons. I ask myself 'Why are they showing me this?' .. Then I said out loud, "Who are you and how are you doing this?" .. The foil continued to bend. In the bottom right corner a desk appeared with an alien looking guy sitting at a computer like terminal. So strange, it looked like he was wearing 8 hats piled up on top of his head. Ok! enough of that!
The next day curiosity was gnawing at me. I took another piece of foil downstairs and let it rest on top of my palms. It bounced, crinkled, and bent. it was an alien landscape. How precious! They made me alien art.. I hung it on the wall. I took a piece of foil downstairs everyday for 5 days straight.. bouncing, crinkling, and bending with it just resting on my palms.
The last time I was doing the foil thing with somebody or something I said out loud "I want to see you.. show me what you look like!". The foil did its magical thing... It was an almost head to toe portrait of a demonic looking alien. OK! Now I'm not afraid for me but what about my father? I just imagined this MF'er materializing in my house like those girls did.. and hurting my father.. and me getting rung up for it.. I had to tell my father whats been happening..
"Are you F'n crazy? Son, are you on drugs? I'm calling the priest"..
2 days later 2 priests show up at the house. One goes and talks to Dad the other I speak with in another room.. I take him in the basement and show him the carvings on the paneling.. I tell him about the orbs, the girls, the lawn writing. The other priest comes down and they begin to pray together. Weird man, I have 2 priests in my basement.
We go upstairs and head into the living room where Dad is sitting. Ol' Pops sarcastically says, "Show them your foils, son.. go get your foils" as if to embarrass me with his skeptical ass. I oblige and excuse myself.
I go through my collection and choose the demonic alien portrait. Before I head back I grab a small piece of paper and write "demonic alien" then fold the paper into my palm.
I walk back into the living room.. "Got your foils, son?" . . I hand the bent up crinkled sheet to the priest. He studies it with a few hmms here and there. I ask him, "Father, do you see anything?".
With a pause, he says "Yes". "What do you see?"..
"I see a demonic looking alien..**pointing at the sheet** The top of its head is here.. There's the eyes..the nose.. the mouth.. "
The priest pointed exactly to each anatomical part.
"Father.. You really can see that?" -- I thought maybe I'm not going crazy.. but vindicated from my dad's vindictiveness.
"Yes I can.. Its faint.. but yeah, I can see it".
"Father, I see it in Technicolor".
I then unfolded the piece of paper hidden in my right hand and showed it to everyone in the room..
"DEMONIC ALIEN"
The priests held a quiet muffled conversation and then asked to bless the house. Throwing Holy Water everywhere in every room and praying their asses off.
As I escorted them outside I pointed out the millions of little alien demons growing on the house I asked the priest if he would like to use my magnifier..
"No, I dont need it. I already can see it. Here's my card. This kind of thing is my specialty. All priests dress the same but we all specialize in different things.. This.. is my specialty. I am in contact with other priests practicing in this realm and we'll chat about your case. Here is another card with the Prayer to Saint Michael .. I want you to say it 5 times a day.. Its a powerful prayer.. it may be a help to you.. and you have to stop with the aluminum foil thingy.. I think you are conjuring and that will only make this all continue.. so stop the foil, ok?
I thought to myself, "I'm not conjuring. I have zero input to foil.. it does it on its own.. the energy is coming from a different dimension.. then it dawned upon me.. I am the conduit of this energy bringing it into this dimensional space.. PHUCK! I AM CONJURING!"
I promised the priest to stop playing with foil. He said to call him if any other crazy things start happening..
--- 100% true words. I can never ask or beg for believers. Too unreal for reality.. Too strange for fiction. You will never know until you lived it.
.... to be continued...
The Drummer, The Demonic Aliens, Aluminum foil, and The Priest
After the plasma cutting on the outside brick of my house began another anomaly appeared; little demonic alien faces. Now a daily ritual I walk around my house every morning looking for more blackened etching on the bricks. It just doesn't stop. I cant catch the culprit. Its a seriously hopeless feeling but I must be strong... after all, I am a bad ass MF'er, right?
So, I began to notice tiny little bumps stippling up on the bricks from ground to roof.. growing on every brick.. Days go by they seem to get bigger. Now WTF?
One afternoon I decided to find my 5x magnifying monocle and look at those bumps. I did the WOW emoji face when I first looked. A jolt of adrenaline coursed through me.. They looked like demonic aliens.. noooooo sheeeeeeeeit. Brick after brick.. all unique in their own way not one similar. The WOW emoji face quickly turned to a frowny face. Am I being haunted by Satan?
A car pulled up my driveway. A drummer cat I haven't seen in ages pops out of his car. He's smiling, happy, and upbeat. We shoot the breeze. He asks 'so what the hell has been going on?' .. Oh, how apropos I think. I tell him I think I'm being haunted by Satan.. I tell him of the crazy things then ask him if he sees the bumps on the bricks. Yes, he says. I tell him they have been growing on my house.. theyre demonic alien heads.. What will become the soup du jour: "Are you F'n crazy? What kind of drugs are you on?". I handed him the magnifier. "Look for yourself"..
Drummer cat presses the monocle to the bricks; patiently studying them. After some time he pulls away. The happy smile was a horizontal straight line.. "Dude, you need to find Jesus.. and a priest.. you are under spiritual attack". For added measure I took him for a tour of the black etchings around the house. I took him into the basement to show him the carvings that are appearing on the wall paneling. Totally weirded and freaked out he split and hasn't been back since.
One afternoon I decided to heat up some grub in the toaster oven. I ripped off a piece of aluminum foil to lay on the rack. I held the foil in one hand and opened the door with the other. I noticed the foil almost hovering over my palm. The foil began bouncing in my hand. WTF? I held the foil on top of both of my palms.. As its bouncing it begins to crinkle and bend all over. At this point after everything that has happened I am just not that surprised or afraid.
In case my 80+ year old father walks into the kitchen I take the foil into the basement and sit on the couch. As the foil continues to bounce, bend, and crinkle I begin to see something.. Its a war scene.. Aerial attacks and ground to air defense.. little alien guys running around with long weapons. I ask myself 'Why are they showing me this?' .. Then I said out loud, "Who are you and how are you doing this?" .. The foil continued to bend. In the bottom right corner a desk appeared with an alien looking guy sitting at a computer like terminal. So strange, it looked like he was wearing 8 hats piled up on top of his head. Ok! enough of that!
The next day curiosity was gnawing at me. I took another piece of foil downstairs and let it rest on top of my palms. It bounced, crinkled, and bent. it was an alien landscape. How precious! They made me alien art.. I hung it on the wall. I took a piece of foil downstairs everyday for 5 days straight.. bouncing, crinkling, and bending with it just resting on my palms.
The last time I was doing the foil thing with somebody or something I said out loud "I want to see you.. show me what you look like!". The foil did its magical thing... It was an almost head to toe portrait of a demonic looking alien. OK! Now I'm not afraid for me but what about my father? I just imagined this MF'er materializing in my house like those girls did.. and hurting my father.. and me getting rung up for it.. I had to tell my father whats been happening..
"Are you F'n crazy? Son, are you on drugs? I'm calling the priest"..
2 days later 2 priests show up at the house. One goes and talks to Dad the other I speak with in another room.. I take him in the basement and show him the carvings on the paneling.. I tell him about the orbs, the girls, the lawn writing. The other priest comes down and they begin to pray together. Weird man, I have 2 priests in my basement.
We go upstairs and head into the living room where Dad is sitting. Ol' Pops sarcastically says, "Show them your foils, son.. go get your foils" as if to embarrass me with his skeptical ass. I oblige and excuse myself.
I go through my collection and choose the demonic alien portrait. Before I head back I grab a small piece of paper and write "demonic alien" then fold the paper into my palm.
I walk back into the living room.. "Got your foils, son?" . . I hand the bent up crinkled sheet to the priest. He studies it with a few hmms here and there. I ask him, "Father, do you see anything?".
With a pause, he says "Yes". "What do you see?"..
"I see a demonic looking alien..**pointing at the sheet** The top of its head is here.. There's the eyes..the nose.. the mouth.. "
The priest pointed exactly to each anatomical part.
"Father.. You really can see that?" -- I thought maybe I'm not going crazy.. but vindicated from my dad's vindictiveness.
"Yes I can.. Its faint.. but yeah, I can see it".
"Father, I see it in Technicolor".
I then unfolded the piece of paper hidden in my right hand and showed it to everyone in the room..
"DEMONIC ALIEN"
The priests held a quiet muffled conversation and then asked to bless the house. Throwing Holy Water everywhere in every room and praying their asses off.
As I escorted them outside I pointed out the millions of little alien demons growing on the house I asked the priest if he would like to use my magnifier..
"No, I dont need it. I already can see it. Here's my card. This kind of thing is my specialty. All priests dress the same but we all specialize in different things.. This.. is my specialty. I am in contact with other priests practicing in this realm and we'll chat about your case. Here is another card with the Prayer to Saint Michael .. I want you to say it 5 times a day.. Its a powerful prayer.. it may be a help to you.. and you have to stop with the aluminum foil thingy.. I think you are conjuring and that will only make this all continue.. so stop the foil, ok?
I thought to myself, "I'm not conjuring. I have zero input to foil.. it does it on its own.. the energy is coming from a different dimension.. then it dawned upon me.. I am the conduit of this energy bringing it into this dimensional space.. PHUCK! I AM CONJURING!"
I promised the priest to stop playing with foil. He said to call him if any other crazy things start happening..
--- 100% true words. I can never ask or beg for believers. Too unreal for reality.. Too strange for fiction. You will never know until you lived it.
.... to be continued...
Last edited:
I’ll bet you did
I thought I smoked good weed
clearly I don't
now that's some dark shit going on there...I assume you are reading the prayer 5 times a day...hard to figure with the paranormal...I've been thru some dark stuff but nothing like what you've experienced...
I battle attention deficit disorder , it is difficult for me to pay attention
i like short stories.
The End.
Irene and her I Don’t Give A Shit look..
Do you still have the fuses?
Could you post some pics of all that stuff with you next post so it’s
easier to read? It takes a whole Marley to get thru your post.
Do you have a garden?
oldfogey8
Well-known member
An engineer I used to work with kept referring to a woman in the fab(where everyone had to wear Gortex gowns) as Emerson. I thought that was her name and had a question for her so I said ‘Emerson, can you get me a FOUP of wafers?’. She looked at me weird and said her name was Lucy. I apologized and later asked the other engineer why he said her name was Emerson. He laughed his ass off and said her name to him was Emerson Bigtots. She was pretty stacked in all fairness.
I had to google foup...new word in my world...
