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The Original O'l Farts Club.

Old Uncle Ben

Well-known member
Cute joke, hope it brings a smile to all you old pHarts.

When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."
"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "

"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."

1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?

"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."
"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."
"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"
St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."
"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."
"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"

"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."

St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"

:ROFLMAO:
 

oldfogey8

Well-known member
I worked with my hands plenty during my career as a field service engineer in the Semiconductor industry and a master optician before that. Neither occupations will give you calloused hands. The Semiconductor work required head to toe Gortex suits and nitrile gloves and as an optician, my hands were wet more often than dry. Dry and cracked hands as an optician though…
 

Putembk

One Toke Over The Line
Premium user
working down there and sleeping down there are two different things!
Is that the same as being in the dog house?

iu
 

Putembk

One Toke Over The Line
Premium user
I worked with my hands plenty during my career as a field service engineer in the Semiconductor industry and a master optician before that. Neither occupations will give you calloused hands. The Semiconductor work required head to toe Gortex suits and nitrile gloves and as an optician, my hands were wet more often than dry. Dry and cracked hands as an optician though…
Are your hands wet or dry after taking off surgical gloves from a long stretch of trimming?
 

jokerman

Well-known member
Premium user
@ Subby....Sand paper?
One day Pinocchio was talking to Poppa Geppetto about the problem he was having with his girlfriend.
It seemed every time he and his girlfriend start to get intimate ,she complains about splinters.
He said that's not a problem and gave him some 220 grit sandpaper to make it better for her.
Two weeks later at Starbucks Poppa runs into Pinocchio and asks him "How are you making out with your girlfriend?" Well since you told me about using sandpaper ,not sure I need a girlfriend anymore.
 

jokerman

Well-known member
Premium user
I worked with my hands plenty during my career as a field service engineer in the Semiconductor industry and a master optician before that. Neither occupations will give you calloused hands. The Semiconductor work required head to toe Gortex suits and nitrile gloves and as an optician, my hands were wet more often than dry. Dry and cracked hands as an optician though…
musta been hot as a mofo
 

Putembk

One Toke Over The Line
Premium user
The way Boo feels about his car tyres - I feel about my shoes - these Salomon Alpha Cross 4's are made for walking/running and climbing over sharp/steep rocky ground - and those chevrons on the soles - grip surfaces well - very light shoe 👞 too - my current favourite for daily wear -
View attachment 18952858
At our age you have to wear shoes with good support...I also have inserts in all my shoes.
 

Gypsy Nirvana

Recalcitrant Reprobate -
Administrator
Veteran
At our age you have to wear shoes with good support...I also have inserts in all my shoes.
Too true - there are so many varieties of shoes out there - most are not suitable for me - since I do walk alot - it's crucial that I buy shoes that are strong and durable - built for any terrain - and get the right size - often with an insert to make them even more comfy -
 

Putembk

One Toke Over The Line
Premium user
that's why i buy my #24 through #32 midges pre-tied on snelled hooks... f'ing nightmare tying a knot with 7x (or finer) tippet.
Another fly fisherman.....7x is out for me.....6 is as light as I go these days. 32 midge! 22 is as small as I go as well.....damn hippie I can't do that....how well do you see your fly on the water....I have a hard time seeing a#20 BWO on running water.
 

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