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The Original O'l Farts Club.
- Thread starter Putembk
- Start date
The light?
Like twilight but the sun is up. Almost had to turn on the kitchen light.
'eh, what you say, I can't hear you too good after the eclipse...That why your eyes be buggin so hard?
damm
Now is the time you wished you listened to Pute for that extended warranty
CharlesU Farley
Well-known member
Sorry sir, that was due to wear and tear! The warranty only provides you coverage in case of failure. But my boss said he could get you one hell of a deal.
This little old man goes up to the receptionist at the doctor's office and said, "Today is my birthday", to which she replied, "Congratulations."
He responded with, "Bet you can't guess how old I am!" She guessed 75, to which he replied, "Nope, I'm 90 years old today", and she oooed and ahhhed.
All puffed up, he repeated the announcement to a little old lady in the waiting room, and she said, "Just a minute." With that she unzipped his pants and felt him up, zipped him back up again and said, " You are 90 years old."
He was amazed and sputtered, "How can you tell my age checking my package?"
To which she replied, "I heard you tell the receptionist."
They had to disassemble half the Jeep front end to get to the radiator. A six hour job..............
Where do I sign?
It's more to do with anti-constipation - is why I will fast the day before the operation - since I'm gonna be on heavy pain meds for a while - after they open me up - don't want my digestive system to be in full traffic jam mode - so best to try get it cleaned out the day before - then when I'm all slowed down - and under the influence of the heavy pain meds - I won't feel all bunged up - and constipated -when they had to put by bil in surgery he had to fast 24 h before the operation
i guess it has something to do with the anesthesia and how it could make you sick
best wishes my man
CharlesU Farley
Well-known member
In the old days, doctors used to recommend _enemas_ before surgery for that very reason. Don't do it much anymore, because people don't stay in the hospital as long as they used to. Harley added her nursing expertise to this post, my life was snot, boogers 'n breathing, hers was _everything_ else... including enemas and suppositories.
6 day countdown now - before they open me up - take me motor/pump out - and fix me dodgy Mitral valve - with a bit of bovine or piggly-wiggly material - so if I tell a lie - and say I'm Muslim or Jewish - I'll only get the option that once went Moooo! - and not Oink-Oink?In the old days, doctors used to recommend _enemas_ before surgery for that very reason. Don't do it much anymore, because people don't stay in the hospital as long as they used to. Harley added her nursing expertise to this post, my life was snot, boogers 'n breathing, hers was _everything_ else... including enemas and suppositories.
- is there such a thing as Halal - or Kosher Surgery?
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CharlesU Farley
Well-known member
OMFG!!!!!!
Moo _or_ oink is a hell of lot better than click click and thinners the rest of your life.
Harley just now said here in the US there's a cadaver option but we ain't fucking going there!
Oh - in that case do you have a grave-digger connection - that ships to the UK? - I'm getting a strange Dr Frankestein vibe here now - I'd best check me surgeons lineage - well he is Greek - but can't see any Frankestein's or Frankenfurters - in recent generations -OMFG!!!!!!
Moo _or_ oink is a hell of lot better than click click and thinners the rest of your life.
Harley just now said here in the US there's a cadaver option but we ain't fucking going there!
- and as for the prosthetic/Bionic option - getting a titanium/carbon fibre valve - then having to take Wayfarin blood thinning meds for the rest of me life - I'll leave that to Lee Majors/Steve Austin - - The Six Million Dollar Bionic Man ) -
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