Things are so bad I saw a guy with a sign that said “will work for TP”
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M
moose eater
I got a letter from my bank, stating that in this time of uncertainty, they care about me...
Bwahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bwahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good news or Bad news first ?
Good news ? .... Trump is getting on Mt.Rushmore
Bad News ? ...... Trump is getting on Mt.Rushmore
Good news ? .... Trump is getting on Mt.Rushmore
Bad News ? ...... Trump is getting on Mt.Rushmore
vanilla dutch
Active member
Finish this joke 2 brothers shut up and trouble.old military joke
Snook
Still Learning
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists:
two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what
the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in
a chair. Kill her."
The man said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife".
The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take
your wife and go home".
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.
"The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to kill him with the chair."
checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists:
two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what
the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in
a chair. Kill her."
The man said "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife".
The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take
your wife and go home".
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.
"The gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to kill him with the chair."
1967, The Summer of Love 'If everyone smoked pot the world would be a much better place'
2020 Summer, everyone smokes pot now as the world careens its way towards the inevitable.
Looks like the joke's on us!
2020 Summer, everyone smokes pot now as the world careens its way towards the inevitable.
Looks like the joke's on us!
vanilla dutch
Active member
apparently smoking pot solved their problem.now smoking pot is their problem.something like that.idk
Back when I was single, and used to frequent the clubs, I loved to talk to the women...
One night, a pretty girl and I were talking over a few drinks..
I asked her if she wanted to come out to my van and smoke a joint.
After toking a fatty, we both looked at each other and she started to unzip me..
I pulled up her skirt and we had a quickie right then and there..
After we were done, I told her; "Gee, if I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken my time..."
As she touched up her lipstick she replied; "If I had known we had more time I would have taken off my pantyhose"...
..
One night, a pretty girl and I were talking over a few drinks..
I asked her if she wanted to come out to my van and smoke a joint.
After toking a fatty, we both looked at each other and she started to unzip me..
I pulled up her skirt and we had a quickie right then and there..
After we were done, I told her; "Gee, if I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken my time..."
As she touched up her lipstick she replied; "If I had known we had more time I would have taken off my pantyhose"...
..
Stripper says to CNN she is tired of getting looted by people who can not afford condoms
1967, The Summer of Love 'If everyone smoked pot the world would be a much better place'
2020 Summer, everyone smokes pot now as the world careens its way towards the inevitable.
Looks like the joke's on us!
Reefer's the problem? you sure? if so blame me.
A before Viagra joke.
One day Grandpa was watching Junior playing with an earthworm. Grandpa said, " Junior, I will give you $10 if you can put that worm back down in its hole."
The kids thinks and thinks, then runs into the house and returns with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm all over and as it gets stiff he stuffs it down into the hole. Grandpa gives the boy $10.
The next day Grandpa comes out to where Junior is playing and gives the boy $20. The boy looked up in confusion and asked, "What's this for?"
Grandpa smiles and says, "That's from Grandma!"
One day Grandpa was watching Junior playing with an earthworm. Grandpa said, " Junior, I will give you $10 if you can put that worm back down in its hole."
The kids thinks and thinks, then runs into the house and returns with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm all over and as it gets stiff he stuffs it down into the hole. Grandpa gives the boy $10.
The next day Grandpa comes out to where Junior is playing and gives the boy $20. The boy looked up in confusion and asked, "What's this for?"
Grandpa smiles and says, "That's from Grandma!"
F
Fermented
Fermented grabs the microphone, stands in front of the audience, keeps them waiting and then leads out with this opening line "I'm really anti tattoos, so I got tattoo the size of a basketball on my chest of the word "TATTOO" in a circle with a red diagonal line cutting across it..........."
I keep waiting for the woman who has "Slot B" tatoo'd right at her panty line above her rump.
I don't usually read the instructions, but...
I don't usually read the instructions, but...
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vanilla dutch
Active member
what do u call one hundred men having a dick sucking contest. cowen.lol
