F
Fermented
Being a dishwasher full time gives one an immediate sense of what it means to be washed up.
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"[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful,"[/FONT]
I have read that it was Adolf Hitlers favorite joke.
His second favorite was;
Mamma yells;
Hans! What are you doing?
He answers;
Nothing Mamma.
She yells;
Fritz, what are you doing?
He answers;
I'm helping Hans.
He was NOT a humorous guy.
How does he smell?
Awful,"[/FONT]
I have read that it was Adolf Hitlers favorite joke.
His second favorite was;
Mamma yells;
Hans! What are you doing?
He answers;
Nothing Mamma.
She yells;
Fritz, what are you doing?
He answers;
I'm helping Hans.
He was NOT a humorous guy.
Is that true? I saw it on first episode of Monty Python. They were weaponizing a joke to use against the Germans in WWII.
Tommy Chong drove down to Seattle one day, and got a bit confused in a part of town he didn't know well.
He unknowingly turn the wrong way down a one-way street and a cop promptly pulled him over.
The cop walked up to Tommy's car and said,
"You're driving the wrong way on a one-way street! Didn't you see all the arrows!!"
Tommy looked up at the cop and said, "Wow man... Like I didn't even see the Indians, man..."
..
He unknowingly turn the wrong way down a one-way street and a cop promptly pulled him over.
The cop walked up to Tommy's car and said,
"You're driving the wrong way on a one-way street! Didn't you see all the arrows!!"
Tommy looked up at the cop and said, "Wow man... Like I didn't even see the Indians, man..."
..
HerbChambers
Active member
What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker?
Hop in!
Hop in!
what do you call a dog with no legs?
doesn't matter, he aint coming when you call.
doesn't matter, he aint coming when you call.
An old farmer and his wife picked up a hitchhiker..
There was no room in the front of the pickup truck so the hitchhiker hopped in the back..
There was a 3 legged pig already in the back of the truck..
When they stopped for gas the hitchhiker asked how the pig happened to only have 3 legs..
The farmer told him, "Well, last year our house caught on fire in the middle of the night while my wife and I were sound asleep and we didn't wake up."
"That pig broke down the front door and ran though the flames to our bedroom and woke us up."
"The way I see it, that pig saved our lives!"
The hitchhiker agreed that that pig was a hero, and indeed saved the lives of the farmer and his wife.
"But" said the hitchhiker, "that still doesn't explain why the pig only has 3 legs"
The farmer looked at him and said, "Well a pig like that, you sure don't eat him all at once."
..
There was no room in the front of the pickup truck so the hitchhiker hopped in the back..
There was a 3 legged pig already in the back of the truck..
When they stopped for gas the hitchhiker asked how the pig happened to only have 3 legs..
The farmer told him, "Well, last year our house caught on fire in the middle of the night while my wife and I were sound asleep and we didn't wake up."
"That pig broke down the front door and ran though the flames to our bedroom and woke us up."
"The way I see it, that pig saved our lives!"
The hitchhiker agreed that that pig was a hero, and indeed saved the lives of the farmer and his wife.
"But" said the hitchhiker, "that still doesn't explain why the pig only has 3 legs"
The farmer looked at him and said, "Well a pig like that, you sure don't eat him all at once."
..
Classic, that reminded me of another…
This farmer carried a sheep up to his bedroom and said 'this is the pig I’ve been boinking while you were away'
The wife looked at him and said 'that’s a sheep not a pig'
The farmer looked at her and said 'I wasn’t talking to you'
This farmer carried a sheep up to his bedroom and said 'this is the pig I’ve been boinking while you were away'
The wife looked at him and said 'that’s a sheep not a pig'
The farmer looked at her and said 'I wasn’t talking to you'
My sister talks about how she always wanted a lamb when she was a little girl..
Me: Yummmm, I love leg of lamb!
Sister: No, no, no. I mean as a pet.
Me: It can still walk on 3 legs.
Jesus walked into an inn, held out 3 nails & asked "can you put me up for the night?" don't remember where i heard that...
what do ya tell a chick with 2 black eyes ,nothing already told her twice
what is the first thing the newly-empowered woman does after coming home from the battered womens retreat? make me a fucking sandwich, if she knows what is good for her...
be friendly
be friendly
That jesus joke wasn't so bad. For armed I mean.
be friendly
You really need to up your game my friend...
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That jesus joke wasn't so bad. For armed I mean.
lol…what did Jesus say as he hanged on the cross?
"Peter, i can see your house from up here..." (punch line to a bad joke i know, lol)
