will a video do?
[YOUTUBEIF]kD0ZrfqgGx8[/YOUTUBEIF]
[YOUTUBEIF]kD0ZrfqgGx8[/YOUTUBEIF]
Snook
Still Learning
Belly, belly! How TF did he get up there?will a video do?
[youtubeif]kD0ZrfqgGx8[/youtubeif]
F
Fermented
Ass dialing and farting
The ass caller is blissfully aware while complimenting himself on what an excellent fart that was while the listener .....
The ass caller is blissfully aware while complimenting himself on what an excellent fart that was while the listener .....
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F
Fermented
I can see it now.
The minute Trump is out of office he will find Je$u$ in a big way..he'll still be Cheeto hued of course, probably even more so, but he will become the world's number one televangelist over night with the slogan "Make God American Again" and he will register the trademark for "God"....then everything hit the fan and it was a huuuuge fan!
Within 11 months he will push Jesus off to the side and try to sell the idea that he is the chosen one and will call for donations to build a wall around the bible states, next will be a huge volunteer militia and then he will morph into a cross between Marlon Brando's Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now and Charlton Heston's Moses in the "Ten Commandments" while still being even more Cheeto hued.
The minute Trump is out of office he will find Je$u$ in a big way..he'll still be Cheeto hued of course, probably even more so, but he will become the world's number one televangelist over night with the slogan "Make God American Again" and he will register the trademark for "God"....then everything hit the fan and it was a huuuuge fan!
Within 11 months he will push Jesus off to the side and try to sell the idea that he is the chosen one and will call for donations to build a wall around the bible states, next will be a huge volunteer militia and then he will morph into a cross between Marlon Brando's Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now and Charlton Heston's Moses in the "Ten Commandments" while still being even more Cheeto hued.
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F
Fermented
True story. I had the best ever run of great hands playing poker last night, never made a wrong move. It was so good that I didn't just have Lady Luck standing behind me whispering what to do next.....no, this was a God like run and every hand went my way, it was as if Lady Luck was the hottest woman imaginable, sitting naked on my lap as I played cards. I had trouble seeing my cards, "What should I do?" and she turned around and purred "Go all in" and I did. Over and over again.
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F
Fermented
Edit -
Damn!
Next day I re-read the joke above and it now seems so boorish and sexist, I'm embarrassed and now kind of feel as if I am one those 70+ year old guys who come from a time when attitudes were definitely different to now but they still tell those same ol' sexist jokes that they heard on late night TV in the 60's.
"there's such thing as rape!" he yells out with raised eyebrows
"How can a man with his pants down run faster than a girl with her dress up?" as he slaps his thigh really hard and laughs loudest.
but I'm from the next generation and should know better....I'll try.
Damn!
Next day I re-read the joke above and it now seems so boorish and sexist, I'm embarrassed and now kind of feel as if I am one those 70+ year old guys who come from a time when attitudes were definitely different to now but they still tell those same ol' sexist jokes that they heard on late night TV in the 60's.
"there's such thing as rape!" he yells out with raised eyebrows
"How can a man with his pants down run faster than a girl with her dress up?" as he slaps his thigh really hard and laughs loudest.
but I'm from the next generation and should know better....I'll try.
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An Irishman walks out of a bar.
A rabbit walks into a butchers shop, and says to the butcher “hello, have you got any carrots?”
“No” replies the surprised butcher “we don’t sell vegetables, only meat”
“Ok” says the rabbit.
Next day, back into the butchers shop he hops and says again “hello, have you got any carrots?”
“No” comes the reply “I told you yesterday- I only sell meat. If you keep coming here asking for carrots, I’m going to nail your fucking ears to the floor”
A couple of days go by before, once again, the little rabbit hops back into the shop.
The butcher looks up with disbelief.
The rabbit says “hello.”
“Have you got any nails?”
“Err... no” says the butcher
“Got any carrots then?”
“No” replies the surprised butcher “we don’t sell vegetables, only meat”
“Ok” says the rabbit.
Next day, back into the butchers shop he hops and says again “hello, have you got any carrots?”
“No” comes the reply “I told you yesterday- I only sell meat. If you keep coming here asking for carrots, I’m going to nail your fucking ears to the floor”
A couple of days go by before, once again, the little rabbit hops back into the shop.
The butcher looks up with disbelief.
The rabbit says “hello.”
“Have you got any nails?”
“Err... no” says the butcher
“Got any carrots then?”
