Q: When is a joke not a joke?
A: When its not funny - like having a 'not a joke' post in a joke thread.
A: When its not funny - like having a 'not a joke' post in a joke thread.
Why don't they ever make snow-WOMEN instead of snow-MEN?
Because no one wants to take the time to hollow out the head.
.
Because no one wants to take the time to hollow out the head.
.
Does not take me over a week to notice. Kinda loses its immediacy by then.Recognize a joke? Huh.
written on shit house wall in truck stop
he whowrites on shit house walls rolls his shit in lil balls ,he who reads these words of wit eat those lil balls o shit
he whowrites on shit house walls rolls his shit in lil balls ,he who reads these words of wit eat those lil balls o shit
CannaRed
Cannabinerd
I once entertained the idea of making a book of all the little dittys that are found on porta potty walls.
"Porta Potty Poetry and other shitty graffiti"
Sorry, I don’t live on the icmag anymore.
F
Fermented
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm an actor"
"Well...at least the tips are good!"
"I'm an actor"
"Well...at least the tips are good!"
Two cops walked into a bar.
I don't know what happened after that because i got the fuck out of there
I don't know what happened after that because i got the fuck out of there
MedFaced
Active member
Guy is having a good evening at the bar when nature calls. Seeing the bathroom full, he heads to the ally and whips it out. While doing his business, he noticed a little guy standing between his legs, also taking a leak...but with a monster sized dong. Guy goes, “holy shit! How did a little dude like you get a wang like that?” Little guy says “well I’m a Leprechaun, I can have anything I want.” Guy being no slouch, grabs the leprechaun and exclaims, “I get three wishes now, right?” The leprechaun responds that “rules are rules.” Guy excitedly shouts “I want to be rich!” Leprechaun snaps his fingers and says “done. You’ll be very happy when you go and check your bank account.” Guy then blurts out “I want women!” Leprechaun snaps his fingers and says “done, women beyond your wildest dreams await your return home.” Lastly, guy gets out his final wish, “I want to live out my days hung just like you.” Leprechaun warns, “you don’t want that.” Guy says “fug you, yes I do, my wishes my life.” The leprechaun explains that it takes a little more to change one’s body. Guy says “I’ll do anything!” Leprechaun says, “well, you have to learn to respect your new power by letting me bone you up the butt, and then I know you’re ready.” Guy thinks a little, looks around, and not seeing anyone says, “fug it, do what you have to, just give me what I want.” So leprechaun gets to it, wasting no time. Thrusting and heaving, heaving and thrusting, until it was all over. Guy shaken, but still able to stand himself, barely manages to ask, “ok...ok, we did it, where is...my huge dong?” Leprechaun zipping up his pants glances around and casually asks “how old are you, by the way?” Guy goes “32, why?” The little man asks, “aren’t you a little old to believe in leprechauns?”
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lamenamenumbers
Member
Say, did I ever tell you guys about my days as a wrestler? I'd get a guy in a headlock, then write my name on his forehead. It was my signature move......
F
Fermented
Ahhh, the sounds of the pitter patter of little feet
......cockroaches aren't so bad once you get used to them
......cockroaches aren't so bad once you get used to them
YukonKronic
Active member
You guys hear about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic?
He would lie awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.
He would lie awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.
Snook
Still Learning
A Positive attitude
A Positive attitude
There is attitude and then there is positive attitude
"Sometimes life is not the way it's supposed to be - it's the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine Corps fighter pilot finally regained consciousness in a hospital in a lot of pain.
He was in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask,
wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him looking worried.
It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes.
Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but also a Marine, she spoke to him softly
and slowly, enunciating each word,
"You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow, he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
And that, my friends, is a really positive attitude.
A Positive attitude
There is attitude and then there is positive attitude
"Sometimes life is not the way it's supposed to be - it's the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine Corps fighter pilot finally regained consciousness in a hospital in a lot of pain.
He was in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask,
wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him looking worried.
It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes.
Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but also a Marine, she spoke to him softly
and slowly, enunciating each word,
"You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow, he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
And that, my friends, is a really positive attitude.
