The joke thread, cause we all need to laugh!!!!!!

[Fermented]

"Grow for love, not money. If you grow for love, the money will come." - Soma

I've met Soma, he was a nice guy...but I have to say that if you grow for love (of cannabis) money may come if that's what you want, but pleasure and satisfaction will definitely come your way.

 

[dddaver]

"Grow for love, not money. If you grow for love, the money will come." - Soma

I've met Soma, he was a nice guy...but I have to say that if you grow for love (of cannabis) money may come if that's what you want, but pleasure and satisfaction will definitely come your way.

If that's supposed to be funny, it went completely over my head.

 

[Fermented]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy!

 

[lamenamenumbers]

Bad news guys, I lost my job at the keyboard factory.


I missed too many shifts....

 

[Fermented]

If that's supposed to be funny, it went completely over my head.

You're sense of humor is intact, there was no comedy there...I was just off on a tangent about Soma.

 

[Fermented]

Who's songs do you never hear in a whorehouse?

The Ramones...."Hey! Ho!, Lets go!"

 

[armedoldhippy]

do you know the difference between an erection and a KFC drumstick? no? wanna go on a picnic?

 

[Hank Hemp]

You ain't talking to me are you armed?

 

[Snook]

You ain't talking to me are you armed?

 

[Phaeton]

You ain't talking to me are you armed?

Yes and no.
Not particularly worried, I understand and recognize a joke..

 

[SuperMac]

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, looks around, and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!"

 

[armedoldhippy]

salesmans car breaks down. he walks back to last house & asks to borrow the phone. after calling a wrecker, he sits on the porch with the farmer, discussing the weather & talking politics. suddenly, a pig with a wooden leg trots around the porch! amazed, the salesman asks "where the hell did you get a 3-legged pig?" farmer says "that aint no ordinary porker. last fall, i was working on my tractor & it fell off the jackstands. i would have died if that pig had not lifted the tractor off of me & dragged me clear." astounded, the salesman asks "is that how he lost his leg? did the tractor fall on him?" "yer about stupid, aint ya?" the farmer says "you got a pig like that, you don't eat him all at once..."

 

[SuperMac]

Paddy asked his doctor “Do you treat alcoholics?”

His Doctor replied “Yes sir, of course I do.”

“Great,” said Paddy. “Put your coat on and let’s go, I’m skint!”

 

[Green Squall]

If you boil a clown,

do you get a laughing stock?

 

[hunter77]

What is the difference between a wife and a job?
After five years a job still sucks.

 

[CannaRed]

Written on wall above urinal:

"Don't look here.. the joke's on your hand"

It's a classic but I saw it in a 7-11 last week.

 

[Frosty Nuggets]

A Trekkie joke for you.


Why does Lt Uhura's vagina smell bad?
Because William Shatner (shat in her)

 

[SuperMac]

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guinness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

 

[lamenamenumbers]

Bad news guys, I lost my job at the lawn maintenance company. They said I wasn't cutting it. I can't believe they turfed me and told me to sod off!

 

[Hank Hemp]

If you had stopped with not cutting it, would have been a rib tickler.