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A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, “It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?”
He says, “O.K., Get in the car with it.”
“Where shall I put it to get it warm?”
He says, “Put it in between your legs. It’s nice and warm there.
“But what about the smell?”
“Just hold its nose.”
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.
It was, and she said to her husband, “It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?”
He says, “O.K., Get in the car with it.”
“Where shall I put it to get it warm?”
He says, “Put it in between your legs. It’s nice and warm there.
“But what about the smell?”
“Just hold its nose.”
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.
Music Buzz
New member
If you want to see who loves you more, your girlfriend or your dog, put them both in the trunk of your car for a few hours and then open it up and let them out, and see who is more glad to see you.
I took some Viagra and it got stuck in my throat..., now I have a stiff neck.
I took some Viagra and it got stuck in my throat..., now I have a stiff neck.
My friend who I worked for told me the one about the Viagra and caught me flat footed cause he worked it into a story about driving part-way across town and having to stop and get a soda cause he was chokin' on it.
GanjaBredMan
Member
Girl you must be from the Middle East, because the butt Is-real!
GanjaBredMan
Member
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Edna noticed something funny about Nadine's ear and she said,
'"Nadine, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear? " Nadine answered, "I have a suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Edna, I'm glad you saw this thing... now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
'"Nadine, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear? " Nadine answered, "I have a suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Edna, I'm glad you saw this thing... now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
Mycoxafloppin Hydrochloride : produced illegally and used widely in the remote plateaus of provincial modern China. Manufactured over open fires, by mixing Yak butter, cheap powdered laundry detergent, and an iced slurry of iodine laced butterscotch jello.
A similar but differently extracted substance, Mycoxanoxanswineinvadin Sulfate, sold by the Taliban and tribal groups in the mountains of Pakistan,
is not as widely preferred in black markets due to side effects of
falling down salivating and braying five times daily,
large tufts of hair growing from the ridges of the ears,
and the demand by those who sell it that all who buy one package must buy five, and also agree to have their heads cut off and shown on youtube upon receipt of package number three.
Medical name for Viagra:
Mycoxafloppin
A similar but differently extracted substance, Mycoxanoxanswineinvadin Sulfate, sold by the Taliban and tribal groups in the mountains of Pakistan,
is not as widely preferred in black markets due to side effects of
falling down salivating and braying five times daily,
large tufts of hair growing from the ridges of the ears,
and the demand by those who sell it that all who buy one package must buy five, and also agree to have their heads cut off and shown on youtube upon receipt of package number three.
J/K.....
As you might already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.
So at 7:00 am & 7:00 pm each day this week, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
P.S.
If you don't share this, you're just not right in the head! .... J/K......
As you might already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.
So at 7:00 am & 7:00 pm each day this week, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
P.S.
If you don't share this, you're just not right in the head! .... J/K......
During an argument, a wife said to her husband, 'I was a FOOL when I married you!'
The husband replied, 'Yeah well dear, I was in love; and I was fresh outta school; and I was in heat whenever we were around each other, so I didn't notice how bad it was.
Obviously that marriage didn't make it.
The husband replied, 'Yeah well dear, I was in love; and I was fresh outta school; and I was in heat whenever we were around each other, so I didn't notice how bad it was.
Obviously that marriage didn't make it.
A trucker who had been out on the road for several weeks stopped into a brothel, outside Vegas.
He walked right up to the bar, dropped down $500, and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich with mustard!"
The manager was really surprised and looked at the guy, "But for that kind of money, you could have one of our finest girls, and a full dinner with steak, salad, everything..."
The trucker replies, "Listen - I ain't looking for no ''great time'' and ''a good meal -
I'm lookin' for somethin' to remind me of home."
He walked right up to the bar, dropped down $500, and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich with mustard!"
The manager was really surprised and looked at the guy, "But for that kind of money, you could have one of our finest girls, and a full dinner with steak, salad, everything..."
The trucker replies, "Listen - I ain't looking for no ''great time'' and ''a good meal -
I'm lookin' for somethin' to remind me of home."
A lady was in a accident when she was pregnant. The accident's main problem for the lady was that a bump to her head put her into a coma for several years; and she woke up when the twins she had, were kids fifteen years old.
She remembered she had been pregnant. She asked - were the children killed?
No, said the doctor, her brother's relatives from Appalachia had come down, and taken the kids back to the holler.
From Appalachia!?
Back to... ''the holler''!?
Oh no!... well... what did they name the twins?
Well, the girl, they named her Denise, said the doctor.
Okay so far so good, maybe it's not all that bad, after all. What was the boy's name?
Denephew.
She remembered she had been pregnant. She asked - were the children killed?
No, said the doctor, her brother's relatives from Appalachia had come down, and taken the kids back to the holler.
From Appalachia!?
Back to... ''the holler''!?
Oh no!... well... what did they name the twins?
Well, the girl, they named her Denise, said the doctor.
Okay so far so good, maybe it's not all that bad, after all. What was the boy's name?
Denephew.
Two factory workers were bored and wanted something to punctuate the dreariness, so one of them said, "I'm going home.''
The other guy asks her, 'How?'
She says ''watch this.'' So she crawls up onto the machine and hangs upside down.
Foreman comes over and says ''what are you doing, Faye?''
Faye says ''I'm a lighbulb.''
Foreman says 'Faye it's been a long tiring shift you go home and get some rest.'
The guy sitting there beside her gets up and gets his coat and keys and starts to leave.
''Where d'ya think you're goin?''
''Are you crazy?'' says the guy, ''I can't work in the dark.''
The other guy asks her, 'How?'
She says ''watch this.'' So she crawls up onto the machine and hangs upside down.
Foreman comes over and says ''what are you doing, Faye?''
Faye says ''I'm a lighbulb.''
Foreman says 'Faye it's been a long tiring shift you go home and get some rest.'
The guy sitting there beside her gets up and gets his coat and keys and starts to leave.
''Where d'ya think you're goin?''
''Are you crazy?'' says the guy, ''I can't work in the dark.''
