I guess Birmingham England, is like Flint Michigan, in the states...?
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I guess Birmingham England, is like Flint Michigan, in the states...?
joke
joke
A guy went into the patten office ,carriing a bushel of apples, stated he wanted to patent them, the clerk says,"you can't patten apples". The guy says take a bite, so the clerk does,and his eyes light up, and says," taste like plums," the guy says ," turn it over ",so the clerk does and takes another bite, WOW" it taste like ice cream " ! The guy hands him another apple says take a bite, the clerk exclaims" taste like tangerine, the guy says turn it over, and the clerk says taste like root beer. the guy gives up another ,says take a bite, the clerk does and starts spitting and wiping his lips stating " IT TASTE LIKE SHIT, " the guy says TURN IT OVER"
joke
A guy went into the patten office ,carriing a bushel of apples, stated he wanted to patent them, the clerk says,"you can't patten apples". The guy says take a bite, so the clerk does,and his eyes light up, and says," taste like plums," the guy says ," turn it over ",so the clerk does and takes another bite, WOW" it taste like ice cream " ! The guy hands him another apple says take a bite, the clerk exclaims" taste like tangerine, the guy says turn it over, and the clerk says taste like root beer. the guy gives up another ,says take a bite, the clerk does and starts spitting and wiping his lips stating " IT TASTE LIKE SHIT, " the guy says TURN IT OVER"
I think you mean Dearborn.
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Birmingham has a population of which Muslims make up less than a quarter. The guy is a moron, but then again, he is a Fox news "Expert" after all
T
tropicannayeah
Excellent short movie....there's way more laughs in this 8.49 minute long movie than in two or three of the latest Hollywood "comedies".
My friend R.B. Jones doesn't have a first or middle name — only the initials R.B. This unusual arrangement was never a problem until he went to work for a government agency. The government is not accustomed to initialed employees, so R.B. had a lot of explaining to do. On the official forms for the payroll and personnel departments, his name was carefully entered as R (Only) B (Only) Jones.
Sure enough, when R.B. got his pay check, it was made out to Ronly Bonly Jones.
Sure enough, when R.B. got his pay check, it was made out to Ronly Bonly Jones.
I think the dog eats it...
u gotta be shitting me
u gotta be shitting me
I heard it a little different" There were 100 yankee soilders ,on manuvers, it came time to bed down, the sargent knocked on a door and a little old man answered' what can I do for u?""The seargent explained and asked for accomidations,, the little old man says" I can only put up one" The seargent shouts out FIRST MAN UP FRONT a soilger steps up and salutes PRIVATE RICHARD A. DICKS PRESENTS SIR" The seargent says for him to stay here tonight, then catch up in the morning, The troop goes a little father on and comes to another housewith a beautiful blonde at the door,walks up and ask the young lady if they could spend the night,to witch the lady ask " how many are there of you ? The sergent replies 99 without dicks ,the southern accented lady replies"WELL , GREASE UP YOUR FINGERS AND YA'LL COME ON IN!
u gotta be shitting me
I heard it a little different" There were 100 yankee soilders ,on manuvers, it came time to bed down, the sargent knocked on a door and a little old man answered' what can I do for u?""The seargent explained and asked for accomidations,, the little old man says" I can only put up one" The seargent shouts out FIRST MAN UP FRONT a soilger steps up and salutes PRIVATE RICHARD A. DICKS PRESENTS SIR" The seargent says for him to stay here tonight, then catch up in the morning, The troop goes a little father on and comes to another housewith a beautiful blonde at the door,walks up and ask the young lady if they could spend the night,to witch the lady ask " how many are there of you ? The sergent replies 99 without dicks ,the southern accented lady replies"WELL , GREASE UP YOUR FINGERS AND YA'LL COME ON IN!
A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had small ladders hung on the side of his little red wagon, and a garden hose coiled up in it. He was wearing a fireman's hat. He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon. The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles. The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to tell you how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster." Maybe so," said the little boy, "but then I'd lose my siren!"
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
a drunk is stumbling through the woods when he comes to a river where a minister is baptizing folks. he staggers over to the water, trips & nearly knocks the minister down. that good man, smelling the alcohol on the poor fellow, asks "are you ready to find Jesus?" the drunk stammers " you damn skippy!" so the pastor drags him into the river & dunks him for a moment. the drunk comes up sputtering & spitting water and says "I didn't see him. are you sure this is where he fell in?"
The canny Mr Singh
Mr Singh walked into a bank in Central London and asks for the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the £5, 000 and the interest, which comes to £15. 41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled sir. While you were away on business, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire! What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow £5, 000?"
Mr Singh replied, "Where else in Central London can I park my car for two weeks for £15?
Mr Singh walked into a bank in Central London and asks for the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the £5, 000 and the interest, which comes to £15. 41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled sir. While you were away on business, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire! What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow £5, 000?"
Mr Singh replied, "Where else in Central London can I park my car for two weeks for £15?
