the dumbest shit you ever said.

[Homer J Simpson]

I don't usually say to much stupid shit, but one time I tried unlocking my front door to my house with my key fob. Took me about 15 seconds to realize what I was doing too.

 

[Irishslappop]

"Ive always been good at eyeballing sacks"

hahahahahaha.
karma+

 

[BadTicket]

I'm a Rolling Stones fan and I was having a conversation with hubby about the band and for like 10 minutes he was laughing at me and I couldn't figure out why, till I realized I had been saying "Mick Jaguar". He kept asking me too, "What's his name honey" and I kept repeating "Mick Jaguar". To this day I won't talk to him about the Stones anymore. FYI - It's Mick Jagger...I can blame it on the smoke, hee-haw

Hehe. Reminds me of me when i ranted on some music forum that the Stones are only touring to pay off Mick Jaguars child support. Too bad the topic was about Aerosmith.. Not the dumbest shit ever tho, but that's what came to mind on a short notice :smile:

I was gonna say all the pledges to flags/nationality and/or 'i believe in Jesus' and dumb shit like that, but it's not really stuff anyone sezz without it being hammered in their heads since kids, so it does not really count..

 

[bigbluedog360]

i saw this woman that i had graduated high school with in 80 and we had'nt seen each other in about 20yrs, so we get to talking and end up going out. she invites me to spend the night and of course i say yes . we smoke one , shower, and head for the bedroom. as we engage in foreplay and say all kinds of sweet nothings to each other, she looks up at me and says, in high school i had the biggest crush in the world on you . like a fool i say i know but i could'nt mess with you cause i was banging your sister! she immediately pulled her panties on, called her sister to confirm, and asked me to leave.

 

[Huey_Wunder]

i saw this woman that i had graduated high school with in 80 and we had'nt seen each other in about 20yrs, so we get to talking and end up going out. she invites me to spend the night and of course i say yes . we smoke one , shower, and head for the bedroom. as we engage in foreplay and say all kinds of sweet nothings to each other, she looks up at me and says, in high school i had the biggest crush in the world on you . like a fool i say i know but i could'nt mess with you cause i was banging your sister! she immediately pulled her panties on, called her sister to confirm, and asked me to leave.

Too funny - a real pootie killer, that.

hw

 

[Endo]

i saw this woman that i had graduated high school with in 80 and we had'nt seen each other in about 20yrs, so we get to talking and end up going out. she invites me to spend the night and of course i say yes . we smoke one , shower, and head for the bedroom. as we engage in foreplay and say all kinds of sweet nothings to each other, she looks up at me and says, in high school i had the biggest crush in the world on you . like a fool i say i know but i could'nt mess with you cause i was banging your sister! she immediately pulled her panties on, called her sister to confirm, and asked me to leave.

In the words of homer simpson"DOH!!!!"

 

[East Valley]

That is fkn funny OG Bub! im sure people will have fun with that for a bit

 

[Lune TNS]

Quite a while back, I was working a shitty job at an ice cream place. It was almost the end of my shift and my mind was fixated on the fat joint waiting for me once I got off. While making a sundae for one of the cops who would come in every day I blurted out, "Would you like any weed on that?" I ment to say, "Would you like any sprinkles on that?" He said no, and I didn't even reallize what I had said until he was gone.

 

[Dhor]

the bus tastes good

 

[robotwithdreams]

"i love you" . Didnt mean it . Got caught up in the moment. Doh.

 

[alexnalaskaOG]

let me just stick the head in. you wont get pregnant...

 

[Endo]

let me just stick the head in. you wont get pregnant...

where i come from that game is called "just the tip"

works almost every time

 

[alexnalaskaOG]

this was the 70s....

another few..

sure, here are the keys

he woukdnt fuck my wife, hes my cousin

sure Dr do as you see fit

anothe...barffff....drink barkeep

we have All said stupid stuff but it takes guts to admitt wrong....most ppl lack this


yall want more

 

[T.doT.Toker]

lol would you like any weed on that?? i would of said yes of course

 

[alexnalaskaOG]

dumb things ive said V2

i dont need a rubber:shes STD free

may i have more immatation crab meat please

sure officer . search my car

ok, you can pay me next week

i wont get no real time, ive never been in trouble

 

[Guest423]

one of my buddies that lives on a farm called me one day and i asked him what he was up to and he told me he just got a buttload of bull semen lol i still rip on him for that one.

 

[alexnalaskaOG]

ROFLMAO

 

[Mrs.Babba]

LOL..great threads guys!! ...I say dumb stuff all the time, would take up wayyyyy tooo much of Gypsy's bandwith to bother with, but all yours are very funny!! ...Bub, your a funny guy I bet your wifes not going to let you live that down for a longgg time

 

[Guest]

HAHAHA that shit is so funny time2unite!

 

[Guest]

hey BuB...do you have any connection with the woman who was jailed for the testicle attack......??HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......