Spit a Freestyle, it's worth your while

[DJ EtrIp]

OfcourSe I take to hearT all the shiT i say/
Dont u? if u dont, then I think that would be kinda gay/
Kinda fake/
I hope ofense you dont take/
that was never my intention/
But u ppl hold bak like anal retention/

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

I post a lot in this thread I made
it's friday night and i just got paid
if i spit enough game i might get laid
by a small girl, looks like she's in 9th grade
but dont you sweat it cuz she's older
then me by 4 years, i'm getting bolder
Boy oh boy I sure am excited
Spark up a bowl now I'm ignited
I'm trying to rhyme as if Yummybud would
his posts in this thread would be really good
Now I'm starting to ramble, i wish i could gamble
The soup I'm eating now is instant, it's Cambell's

*edit* Nah dude I don't take these rhymes serious
Don't let it get to you and make you furious
but this is just a game, drink till you're delirious
Then post in this thread like you're curious
of the imperious deat star shooting a near miss
it's actually imperial but i'm not being serial
like Al Gore in South Park my rhymes are satircal
The fact I can keep going is a damn mircale
But that's all I've got so I'm out...drink beerical

 

[Tokabowl]

Steppin up next is the grower Tokabowl,
cant rap for shit, but i feel im on a roll,
let me spark my spliff and blow a couple o smoke hoops,
only thing missing in this thread are the breakbeat loops!
Jam master J respect for startin this shit,
but i seriously think u should chill on the drink
whats that u said "drink till your delerious"?
aint u ever heard of liver cirrhosis?
Better off puffin weed till your in hypnosis,
plus its known for curing multiple sclerosis!
Anyways im gonna stop now,
the rhymes are starting to lack,
no offense JMJ, all i said is just whack

lol, jokes

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Rhyming this shit is pathetically easy
if you couldn't tell it's purposely cheesey
Now simply mention the ocean and how it's breezy
if I happen to date your daughter you'll think I'm sleazy
Unless your daughters a redneck, cuz then I'd be greasy

Cuz rednecks only date other rednecks it's fate
Drink moonshine, wrestle gators, and play the banjo real late
All those things on top of incest we call a Redneck Date
Mary Jo and Sally like to spew their racist hate
to the lifted pickup drivin', sunflower seed spittin' Kate
They all agree that life is good, shucks it's great!
If only those dag nab fish would eat the bait

It's a lone summer night yet again down south
Bible belt preachers are about to run their mouth
Give me a lisp so that I can take this gas and "douth"
The Sunday church so it'll burst up in flames
So I can teach these hicks stuff they find insane
And I'm done with this rap, I was just playin'

 

[Blackstone]

Checking in from the heart of Blackstone Valley
Where I’m puffin bowls like a one-man hemp rally
Got to start growing I can’t pay these prices
Just plant the seed its easy like the rolling of dices
This shit is foolproof the plan can’t fail
But it’s been 2 weeks and no seeds in the mail!

 

[Artie Lange]

dont stress dude your seeds are comin
mine took 3 weeks,had me paranoid and bummin
had em sent to my cousin
now they live in the closet and recieve lotsa lovin

 

[Blackstone]

That's good cuz I need to get lit
You couldn't get a mouse high with this commercial shit

 

[Artie Lange]

that commercial bullshit aint what i need
its 99% dog shit,sticks and seeds

 

[Blackstone]

Seed Bou will hook me up with a proper weed sack
The shit I got now tastes like smoking tea bags

 

[Artie Lange]

rhyming bags with sack? thats kinda unconventional
lets hope that your grammatical mistake was intentional

 

[Blackstone]

yeah I know it wasn't the perfect rhyme
but the best I can do after smoking a dime
Tippin the scales at 230 I'm on a mission
To give the head fat guy some competition

 

[Artie Lange]

i just rolled a blunt and i aint smoked it yet
i weigh 170lbs when im soaking wet
just check my seedlings theyre looking great
since my girlfriend gained weight i learned to masturbate

 

[Blackstone]

what's up with that? fat girls are the best kind around
Skinny bitches are no match, pound for pound
When that shit starts slappin, what a wonderful sound
Those big booty big girls make me wanna get down

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

I hear ya there, some skinny girls give me the scare
what if I break your pelvis, should I hump hard, do I dare?
On top of that skinny girls usually don't have a pair
of boobs I mean, if they do it's rare
Some people are biologically like that though, let's be fair

 

[Blackstone]

To stay on topic and keep this shit relevant
I'd say some chicks they look just like skeletons
Keep them skin and bones, I'll take em big and wide
So I got some booty to get up inside

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Good curves with a fat ass
boy oh boy that's a blast
Hit it slow or hit it fast
It's all good until you're out of gas
and you've gotta buy her pass
to get behind the buffet glass
to that delicious looking bass.
I love girls with a lot of mass

 

[Closet Funk]

Ah! shit I'll guess I'll throw a line in. Shiiiiiiiiiit!


Man shut the fuck up because you don't know me
I'll snatch your bitch up and make her blow me
20 minutes later she's riding the bologna pony
I smoke shit that the same color as guacamole

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Hello good sir! I'm deeply offended
that you took my girl and made her knees bended
Her bruised knees need to be mended
you fucked my girlfriend like my former friend did

you ass.


*edit* I crack myself up.

 

[Blackstone]

Damn how many guys did she have?
You need to buy that 2 timer some knee pads

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Actually that girl exists in my imagination
she's a super hero who can stab a Hatian
With her cool ability not to get an abrasion
she can get herself out of any complication

She's a butch girl who likes to be on top
While I lop my crop as I ditch shop on and drop a cop with a mop. Flop!
I can't beat bop so I'll stop before I pop. I'm making an ass of hip-hop