Spit a Freestyle, it's worth your while

[Guest]

knife hits, pipe's lit
so good it made my wife sick
time to find shit
find da kine that makes my mind switch
find divine rhymes that make your eyes twitch
high off mr. nice when
I swear I start to see vapors
run out of zags so I roll it in receipt paper
I keep haters at bay when I slay em with my hay
today's the day for me to take you for your J
The ace of spades, but you can call me aka
bowl snapper, soul trapper, smoke pastor, daddy
it aint a good day if I aint burnin down a fatty.
throw the bags at me, it aint shit that I can't handle.
"is that a drug pipe?", Nah it's just a candle
ramble on as long as my bong is strong, call your mom,
tell her all about it
2 days later "gimme an ounce" is what she shouted.

once again..it was really going down hill..oh well. this isfun guys.

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

To all of you saying that you're too high,
you just need practice guy, and i'm not gonna lie
that if we told this tale to an author guy
he'd make me the catcher all inside your rye
i fuckin crack myself up, try to do it till i die
I'm running out of rhymes for this delicious pie
so I'll stop before I make my brain strain and cry
so I'm gonna go out with vowels, but only "A", "E", and "I"


Woof! I need to dust off these smokin' fingers

 

[rusto]

Jam master jaco you've ripped the mic a little too much
now its time to give that spoon a touch
let me think here a little about smokin fingers
it better be that dank that leaves a smell that lingers
gmb spit it twice in a row
but that don't matter his rhymes are out of flow
clip clack roll in that caddalic with six sacks that sell faster than tic tacs
but leave me room to disgrace these young rappers
and ask my grandma and she'll tell you, be gone whipper snappers.
listen and read this post and see what it'll do to you
do these buds look blue to you?
this is rusto burning bowls and bastards
kill 40s and blast nerds
hit it quick one two three
everybody on icmag wanna rhyme like me

 

[Guest]

sing it y'all!!!

who dat? who he?
it's THORODEE!
who dat? who he?
it's THORODEE!
you know you hearda me
i'm THORODEE!
my shit is nice
now say it twice
THORODEE! THORODEE!
y'all can't rhyme like me
it's THORODEE!
who dat? who he?
it's THORODEE
who dat? who he?
it's THORODEE!

that's the hook to my personal theme song!
p.s. i'm rolling on dubs. check it!

 

[Guest]

 

[rusto]

bumpin this thread babumpin this thread tonight
pumpin and gettin head tonight
im high as fuck and my phone bills due
steal my weed and im bout to kill you
gravity if your friend so make a bong
careful cuz youll be as fucked as me and be in other galaxys you don't belong
peaceout and next man respond

 

[Guest]

well heres the response from the dirty south
spitttin with the blunt smoke rollin out the mouth
livin it up, never givin a fuck
we grow them trees knee deep in the muck
so all you snatchin snichin bitches roll right on by
while the c99 grows straight to the sky
and i just snicker while gettin stupid high
because you cant get mine, but nice fuckin try
braindead, you need to feed your head
with the good info, a month on ic and youll be ready to grow
so if i catch a ripper he'll be fert for my next crop
ash the blunt and make a pass to the next spitter

 

[Guest]

lets talk for a minute hea, bout some mother earth,
i dug a couple holes up in her ya i had some dirt,

or you could say soilless,
mixin shit down,
if my crop don't flower,
no thang, don't frown,
i got my indoor grow, right down in town!
but if the outdoor buds im'a spread it around,
get ALL my friends high while we drive and get down,
no sellin'! just tokin',
who's smelly?, who's smokin?,
mothaFUCKA!.........
you know it's me, quit jokin!!
i can taste the doja creepin from a mile away,
but if the shit is schwag i ain't hittin no way,
and i can tell the difference just from the smoke smell and such
don't wanna see it, smell it, toke it or touch,
if it ain't hazy homegrown it don't belong in a dutch,
don't even bother wit phillies or wrap rollin and that,
take ya pounds of stress, and just trash it, it's crap,
use it for kindling,
that would be the best thing,
then burn the scraps,
from your grow, and your trash,
that way if the cops come pickin at that,
you can make 'em dig through shitty drawers for crap,
i didnt mean for it to end like that,
my keystyle sounds fucked up, not mack!
way too slack to be ME doing this rap,
this is UN, im do-IN, what this thread lack,
a white cracka rappa, smokin some early hack,
day 37, i got no scrilla fo a sack,
but if you read this right, ima be back,
with some sweet pics zoomed to the max!

zooted, UN

 

[Guest]

Who's always got the bomb sack?
who never calls your mom back?
Who grew that shit inside a compaq
it's the gmb
eyes get wide when I see them seeds
I like to kif trim leaves
And keep the whole block blazin
weed man's here, I think it's time to stop pacin
for the last time, I swear to god I'm not asian
But I'll do the fuckin math
sufferin for suckatash
motherfuckin hash
is why the last bitch took it up the ass
pass that roach to me cause I'm always the one that puff the last

 

[sproutco]

cannabis infirmary looking at plants that are bad
These people come there you know there sad
Whats the ph? how much you water?
By the looks of that thing you might not get a quarter
Everyone chimes in and has something to say
Maybe it will look better if you give it another day
Does it need nitrogen should I pee on my leaves
Then you cant make hash and use some sieves
Leaves are dropping someone please help
Topdress that thing! sprinkle on some kelp
Potassium deficiency I knew it all the time
Everyone else said it was probably too much lime
So the plants got better and they never came back
I guess they reaped the harvest and are smoking a sack

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Just got home for work
so it's time to lurk
here's the perk, jerk
I can smoke a bowl
infinite amounts is my goal
until then I recommend you send
an apology through the tokers den
for something that rhymes cool
this rap is gettin' kinda lame fool
Unless I keep up with it,
nah, i'm just gonna sit.

 

[rusto]

im a mischief when i hit this spliff
my buds turn heads when they get a wiff
commitin crimes with styles and rhymes
makin money stackin dimes
rusto killin the beat makin the heat
anyone try to beat this they're makred defeat
imma rock this flow and im not stoppin
listen fuckers to the knowledge im droppin
i take a hit after every bar i destroy
fill up my lungs and smoke i deploy
you thought i was gonna stop after the first ten???
your rhymes make me believe this is the jokers den
sproutco sproutco catch his neighbors cultivating
post a thread on this site now theyre all debating
typin all these things is makin my hands numb
all of them except for my big green thumb
plantin hashberry to bubblegum
Ill keep on going cuz im blazed as shit
cuttin yo heads off like the patriot
obtaining style from the son of man
calling user name thats my plan
alright im done ive had enough to stay
so don't get handcuffed and halled away

 

[sproutco]

sproutco sproutco catch his neighbors cultivating
post a thread on this site now theyre all debating

No debating dog I just see that shit
Someone with plants maybe I get a hit
Take some beer over and maybe he's a friend
Maybe some advice you know I could lend
His plant sits right there for all to see
Take a bud he'd probably cap you right in the knee
No harm its all good
Just growing that plant like everyone should
I got no weed for weeks you know i'm sad
Pick up a dime tomorrow then I'll be glad
You need a dub bro let me know
What is that shit is that what they call dro
I think I have bust all that could be said
Time for the next person to go right ahead...

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Yo every other day you've got a different avatar
If you were cool like me you'd drive lenny kravitz' car
my lines are nonsensical and funny
like Elmer Fudd chasing after Bugs Bunny
I haven't slept yet cuz I've got shit to do
My rhymes just got pathetic like ju-jit-su
cuz who needs karate when you've got a gun
Cuz i've got neither, all i can do is run
So after I get back from running my errands
I'll push your grandma down where the stair ends
Then I'll help her back up cuz i'm a boy scout
Being a leader and getting molested is what i'm all about
God damn I rule like a priceless jewel, fool
I school while I duel and always stay cool
Cuz my house is freezing, my nipples are hard
I'm just teasing and rhyming like a retard
I'm gonna come back online and read these lines
Then write em in a book while I edit, design
My own rap song about being a dumbass
about rhyming wrong while keeping the class
If you spent the time to read this shit, hey thanks
But you wasted your time cuz this shit stanks

*edit* I've got an idea. This thread now has a battle element to it. If you want to have a freestyle battle with someone else all you have to do is call them out in your lines. Whoever raps best wins, and winners will be probably end up being self-proclaimed heh. But with the self-proclaim win strategy you will make yourself an easier target for being called out because other people will try to steal the "freestyle king" title from you.

Oh, and just for the hell of it, whoever is "Freestyle King" gets to put this super friggin' cool tag in there sig:

I might not spend my time productively, but I sure can freestyle!

 

[glock23]

I slept on this thread but now I'm here to spit,
Just give me a second while I take this hit,
the smell of the ganja reminds me of the plants I just had ripped,
that ak-48 was gonna be some exquisite shit.
Keystyling on IC? That shit couldn't have gone down on OG,
In some ways we lost a lot but life is still rosy.
Haters and trolls get smoked like kif or burned up like trees,
IC attract crazies like rats to cheese.

 

[James-Bong]

Yo Yo Yo It's your main man James Bong
I be Tokin da Kush all day long
out Smokin that pussy Tommy Chong
If you dont like this shit then suck on my shlong
Fuck it, Im out... where the fuck is my bong?

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Yo every other day you've got a different avatar
If you were cool like me you'd drive lenny kravitz' car
my lines are nonsensical and funny
like Elmer Fudd chasing after Bugs Bunny
I haven't slept yet cuz I've got shit to do
My rhymes just got pathetic like ju-jit-su
cuz who needs karate when you've got a gun
Cuz i've got neither, all i can do is run
So after I get back from running my errands
I'll push your grandma down where the stair ends
Then I'll help her back up cuz i'm a boy scout
Being a leader and getting molested is what i'm all about
God damn I rule like a priceless jewel, fool
I school while I duel and always stay cool
Cuz my house is freezing, my nipples are hard
I'm just teasing and rhyming like a retard
I'm gonna come back online and read these lines
Then write em in a book while I edit, design
My own rap song about being a dumbass
about rhyming wrong while keeping the class
If you spent the time to read this shit, hey thanks
But you wasted your time cuz this shit stanks

*edit* I've got an idea. This thread now has a battle element to it. If you want to have a freestyle battle with someone else all you have to do is call them out in your lines. Whoever raps best wins, and winners will be probably end up being self-proclaimed heh. But with the self-proclaim win strategy you will make yourself an easier target for being called out because other people will try to steal the "freestyle king" title from you.

Oh, and just for the hell of it, whoever is "Freestyle King" gets to put this super friggin' cool tag in there sig:

I might not spend my time productively, but I sure can freestyle!

Test. I'm the best, better then the rest
I'm cocky you guessed, I'm the king pest
cuz i'll come back with my head off, decapitated
I'll keep spittin the flow despite being lacerated
James Bong is humorous, I'm his cancer, tumorous
There's no room to miss, eat shrooms to list
the multiple words that rhyme with perfection
to the previous line, a fine wine dissection
Does that even make any friggin' sense?
Or should I stop with the present and speak in pretense?
You know what, this is getting kinda silly
Like the audio recording of Milli Vanilli
I am supposed to diss but I got off track
My brain kinda feels like I smoked some crack
James Bong, I am king, feel the sting
Kiss my ring while I flash my bling bling.


It's on.

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

Its 5.15 a.m. and time to toke......not 4.20 but Diesels much better than Coke...(a-cola)

....So I mug-it downstairs thru multiple locks to find my stash in my stash-box...

.....As I pass on by thru the mad kitchen with a pussy meowing like a bitch thats bitchin' for some special treat so I offer a hit but all that poof-kitty wants is a few kit-bits!

......Then I'm down on the box like a mugger in the night rollin' me a fatty and feelin alright.....till I realise that I can't find no fi-yer...my lighters been hi-jacked and I'm a live wire....

......Under the table in a tacky box are some dank old matches and some stinky old socks that I navigate to spark a flame that ignites my soul and elevates my brain.....

....East Coast Sour baby is what it takes to make me ponder in thought and gravitate to the big-fat sofa where I lay to rest watching Sky soap opera while reflectin' on my quest to get more folks growing near and far whether it be weed from a bowl or weed from a jar........

Cured or early, early or late best not waste too much time while you veg-i-tate, get them flowers in bloom to ease your pain, to make you work or make you sane.......to make you laugh or make you cry in joy ......a copasetic anesthetic is what I enjoy!

 

[glock23]

Whether in the 'Dam Volcanoing up that Mother's Finest,
Or in India blowin chillums crafted by Italian designers,
Your boy glock23 always stay smokin the best,
but don't get me wrong I started off smokin the cess.
From Mexican to Dutch to Swiss I smoke piff,
I'll twist up anything from Dutch Masters to clear spliffs,
Clear spliffs? Fuck he talkin bout, let me show you,
I got a thread on Aleda papers yall need to go through.
Them Brazilian boys got Americans fienin for cellophane papers,
Don't try smokin your cigarette plastic wrap unless u like catchin the vapors

 

[sproutco]

Yo every other day you've got a different avatar

I guess by that line you were talking to me
I try to surprise with a different picture you see
Yo jam master you can't bust no rhyme
The way you talk should be a crime
Everything I say just makes sense
I keep it real tight and make it real dense
I don't know about no rap star that ain't me
But I can say something and give it for free
So the competition is on in the tokers den
My lastest lines are probably a sin