I realized that I’m very capable of suffering. I see the value of being hungry and uncomfortable. I like it. Good at it. Pain is life. Meditating and understanding your pain is bliss. Pushing the body and mind through the wall is pure dedication to the discipline. The path is long. Time in the bliss…fleeting. The addiction to finding the way back…a serious drug. The Holy Grail.I first entered activism on the anniversary of Kent State, May 4th, 1975 or 1976.
Spent years organizing while I had commercial crops in the ground.
Did drills with my kids and wife back then, in case the doors ever imploded they were to exit a chain ladder off the upper back deck, during which for most of 2 years, I slept on the couch with an automatic rifle, in case something did go down, so that my kids and wife were upstairs and wouldn't be in any cross-fire.
Surveilled by Feds, locals and state cops when we marched on Richard Butler's Aryan Nations Church of Jesus Christ outside Hayden Lake, Idaho on Hitler's birthday in 1989.
Organized the Fairbanks Bill of Rights Defense Committee in reaction to the USA PATRIOT ACT, got more edath threats than when we had talked drug medicalization/legalization/policy reform with born-again zealots who seemed to have missed the whole message re. 'the love of Christ.'
Clean adult criminal record by virtue of learning a lot of harsh lessons as a juvenille. Skinned my knees as a youth sufficiently to learn and re-learn that watching someone else skin THEIR knees is a better way than sklinning your own.
Participated as a coordinator through 2+ campaigns with an Interior Alaska group looking to legalize cannabis formally... while I had a crop in the ground.
Raised issues of corruption with the feds re. the 2016 election, Donna Brazille's admissions, and the DNC trying to launder donation money through state chapters after the donors in question had satisfied their maximum federal donations.
Lesson in the end is that humans are not proactive, they are reactive, lazy overall , and selfish. If someone else is willing to clean the proverbial toilet or wash the dishes, they'll gladly sit by and watch, no matter how filthy the toilet or the dishes are.
Bitching is easy.
Anger at betrayal of various sorts still persists at times, but not like it used to. Bigger fish to fry.
My resolve in the end for the apathetic who share responsibility as passive participants in the situation they failed to help correct? This is the bed you made. Why aer you bithcing now? Sleep in the motherfucker.
It's not warm and fuzzy, would likely get a tisk-tisk from Ghandi or MLK, but I figure it's more real than pie-in-the-sky pabalum.
Comfort and depression both breed apathy in their own right. The fire in the belly comes from being hungry for something that's missing, something better than mediocrity, not from having too much free time.
That was our collective sin as a species, culture, Country, etc. We got comfy and quit caring for much other than ourselves.
From there it's apt to be mostly down-hill.
But it’s about me. And I do not care for those who refuse to care for themselves. I am not their brother. I see no value in being a humanitarian….for the sake of humanity. The world will see itself through with or without a nod of our approval. So I do not worry. I maintain my end of the bargain. Upkeep the temple….no cheating…respectful efforts towards health and happiness….
…yet…I have to navigate fools. I won’t suffer those. I’d flush them down the shitter if I could….but since I’m not allowed to do that…I attempt to reason with them objectively. You can’t though. Reasoning requires a control over the chimp emotional brain…which…is the part of the brain fried by the social engineering. Here we are.
….then it’s just a frustrating (nah I don’t get frustrated any longer) fuck around predicting their next response…and attempting a straight face
How’s that?