The Original O'l Farts Club.

[Gray Wolf]

Good morning old farts and kindly fartesses! Hugz all around, passing left!

Cloudy with rain today, starting at 42F and predicted to soar to 47F during the sweltering part of today.

Jeeze Louise, discord in the air! The Portland Teachers strike settled, but we had a loud Gaza protest parade down the residential street in front of our house, replete with drums and loud shouting, though no property damage at either.

Breakfast out this morning at the Cadillac with friends and then I will be taking on the vendor billing me $900 for a $50 furnace part.

 

[Unca Walt]

My neighbor just called and said he wanted to get his ass kicked in a game of 8 ball. Ok. BB later.

Awright, now ya done it!!!!

I beat Minnesota Fats in an exhibition 8-Ball game in Poughkeepsie, New York on December 9, 1967.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, that's the claim, and it is technically true. Lemme tellya what went down:

Me and an acquaintance were in this big store and saw a pool table with folks all around it. I was really into the pool craze at the time, so I wandered over just as Fats called out for a volunteer to play a rack of 8-Ball.

Lotsa folks raised their hands excitedly, but I just lifted up the gold rope and stepped in just as he was about to pick somebody from the crowd.

"Well, lookee here! We have a volunteer! OK, would you like to break, or should I?"

I just knew that if I broke, I was doomed, so I said: "You break."

Fats turned to the crowd and announced: "Then HE doesn't get to shoot!"

The crowd roared with laughter. Oh well.

So Fats breaks. Balls go absolutely everywhere for about ten fargin seconds. Everywhere but in a pocket. That meant I had my choice of stripes or solids to shoot at. The 1-ball was right near a pocket, so I called it and plunked it in.

As luck would have it, the cue ball (just by coincidence) lined up on the next solid color, and I plunked that in. That left me with a pretty shaky long shot with a sketchy angle.

Just as I was about to shoot, Fats blew his nose in a handkerchief the size of a dish towel. I remember his belly shooting upwards as he blew. I lined up, and managed to sink the long shot.

Now the only shot possible for me was a bank shot to the middle pocket. I lined it up...

"NOW THIS LAD IS A STRAAAAAIGHT SHOOTER!!"

That really rattled me, and the audience laughed again. Jeez... I shot, and the ball hit the point of the cushion, but I had unintentionally put left spin on the ball and it spun into the pocket. I missed the next shot.

Fats took over and showed what real shooting was. Whackada whackada whackada went all the stipe balls with fancy banks, etc. until there was only the 8-ball sitting right in front of a corner pocket with the cue-ball about two feet away.

Instead of just dunking it in, Fats decided to go extreme and do a two bank shot. I think Gawd flicked him on the ear as he shot, because I distinctly heard him whisper: "Shit!" as the cue ball headed right for the 8-ball... almost.

The cue ball hit the 8-ball in... but followed it. Big uproar in the crowd with folks commenting on my lucky break (fickle fargin crowd).

Now to the finale. When I got out into the parking lot later, my acquaintance (a thief, I found out) handed my the cue ball. He had picked it out of the pocket when the crowd was looking at me in the other direction.

I have it to this day, with the blue cue chalk marks still on it.

 

[jokerman]

You have. Come to the right place bunch of O'l Farts. All we do is smoke dope and tell jokes.

Some great dope and great jokes
Welcome !
We also offer many services in this group.
We offer advice on cannabis ,financial
,emotional ,and medical issues.
We get 7 right out of 10 ,but we are new here.
Working on getting a ordained minister for any type of religious service.
Please give a detailed list of your meds so we all can discuss it

 

[Gray Wolf]

I once beat morbidly obese Fat Melvin two games out of three.

 

[Gray Wolf]

Some great dope and great jokes
Welcome !
We also offer many services in this group.
We offer advice on cannabis ,financial
,emotional ,and medical issues.
We get 7 right out of 10 ,but we are new here.
Working on getting a ordained minister for any type of religious service.
Please give a detailed list of your meds so we all can discuss it

I'm a duly ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. No weddings, but I can utter a few words to tide ya'll over a wild weekend.

 

[jokerman]

Awright, now ya done it!!!!

I beat Minnesota Fats in an exhibition 8-Ball game in Poughkeepsie, New York on December 9, 1967.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, that's the claim, and it is technically true. Lemme tellya what went down:

Me and an acquaintance were in this big store and saw a pool table with folks all around it. I was really into the pool craze at the time, so I wandered over just as Fats called out for a volunteer to play a rack of 8-Ball.

Lotsa folks raised their hands excitedly, but I just lifted up the gold rope and stepped in just as he was about to pick somebody from the crowd.

"Well, lookee here! We have a volunteer! OK, would you like to break, or should I?"

I just knew that if I broke, I was doomed, so I said: "You break."

Fats turned to the crowd and announced: "Then HE doesn't get to shoot!"

The crowd roared with laughter. Oh well.

So Fats breaks. Balls go absolutely everywhere for about ten fargin seconds. Everywhere but in a pocket. That meant I had my choice of stripes or solids to shoot at. The 1-ball was right near a pocket, so I called it and plunked it in.

As luck would have it, the cue ball (just by coincidence) lined up on the next solid color, and I plunked that in. That left me with a pretty shaky long shot with a sketchy angle.

Just as I was about to shoot, Fats blew his nose in a handkerchief the size of a dish towel. I remember his belly shooting upwards as he blew. I lined up, and managed to sink the long shot.

Now the only shot possible for me was a bank shot to the middle pocket. I lined it up...

"NOW THIS LAD IS A STRAAAAAIGHT SHOOTER!!"

That really rattled me, and the audience laughed again. Jeez... I shot, and the ball hit the point of the cushion, but I had unintentionally put left spin on the ball and it spun into the pocket. I missed the next shot.

Fats took over and showed what real shooting was. Whackada whackada whackada went all the stipe balls with fancy banks, etc. until there was only the 8-ball sitting right in front of a corner pocket with the cue-ball about two feet away.

Instead of just dunking it in, Fats decided to go extreme and do a two bank shot. I thing Gawd flicked him on the ear as he shot, because I distinctly heard him whisper: "Shit!" as the cue ball headed right for the 8-ball... almost.

The cue ball hit the 8-ball in... but followed it. Big uproar in the crowd with folks commenting on my lucky break (fickle fargin crowd).

Now to the finale. When I got out into the parking lot later, my acquaintance (a thief, I found out) handed my the cue ball. He had picked it out of the pocket when the crowd was looking at me in the other direction.

I have it to this day, with the blue cue chalk marks still on it.

My Uncle Nick owned a pool hall in Patchogue 60 years ago.
Willie Mosconi was there and he has a picture.
The Hustler was a great film..!
Jackie Gleason did his usual and crushed that film !

 

[jokerman]

I'm a duly ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. No weddings, but I can utter a few words to tide ya'll over a wild weekend.

So Glad you are here Perfect!
Good Morning Brother!

 

[jokerman]

I'm a duly ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. No weddings, but I can utter a few words to tide ya'll over a wild weekend.

Not just a pretty face Brother ! Nay Nay Not just a pretty face.

 

[Gray Wolf]

So Glad you are here Perfect!
Good Morning Brother!

And so glad to be here on the green side of the grass!

Good morning and may Thor bless you and yours brother!

 

[Gray Wolf]

Not just a pretty face Brother ! Nay Nay Not just a pretty face.

So the vicious rumor and bathroom graffiti goes...........

 

[jokerman]

So the vicious rumor and bathroom graffiti goes...........

I fight back!
Worse thing in life is I always have a sharpie on me!

 

[Unca Walt]

i have been here a few years, i don't say much until i get going

(*snork*) You gonna fit in jes' fine. Between Big, Boo, Your Humble Obdn't &tc, and others, we can pool all our parts and make a complete hooman bean.

 

[jokerman]

(*snork*) You gonna fit in jes' fine. Between Big, Boo, Your Humble Obdn't &tc, and others, we can pool all our parts and make a complete hooman bean.

A project Unc! ,lets talk after second breakfast!

 

[Unca Walt]

i will be back, i come here everyday, i just stay on the side, i will comment more, i have a poddy mouth, i have to be careful

Just to put in my bonafides: I spent TWO Christmases in an electric wheelchair. <--TINS

 

[Unca Walt]

My Uncle Nick owned a pool hall in Patchogue 60 years ago.
Willie Mosconi was there and he has a picture.
The Hustler was a great film..!
Jackie Gleason did his usual and crushed that film !

There was a perfect craze for pool 60 years ago. Pool halls just everywhere.

My lifetime record in straight pool was a run of 42 balls. Almost three complete racks, with every shot called.

 

[jokerman]

There was a perfect craze for pool 60 years ago. Pool halls just everywhere.

My lifetime record in straight pool was a run of 42 balls. Almost three complete racks, with every shot called.

Yep right on Rt 112
And me and some Brothers used to go to a pool hall with coffee and pot and play shitty for three hours and had a ball!

 

[jokerman]

I invited her for coffee and she said she didnt drink coffee .
I said come anyway ,we will find something you like.
Good Morning all

 

[buzzmobile]

Damnit, Man! You old farts sure have a lot to say. It is hard to catch up with the knowledge being spewed.

View attachment 18928737

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmocha!

Lasciviousness

You said the L word and you spelled it real good too.

I have an enlarged prostate.

I used to have one before riding in a tube. No more knuckles, but I get scoped every 3 years to keep the guts in line.

It just hit 32.0F. It's freezing here in Nearly Georgia!

 

[buzzmobile]

Worse thing in life is I always have a sharpie on me!

They come in handy during hurricane season.

Pool hall story:
My bro in law and I were at the Pastime to shoot a few racks and to drink some beer. We had a pitcher of beer set on a small table nearby. Guy walks over to the table picks up the pitcher and proceeds to drink from it. Bro shouts, "Hey, Buddy!" Guy looks at him and deadpans, "I ain't yer buddy" and went out the back door.

 

[ramblinman]

Morning old farts, little chill in the air today. Supposed to finish putting a cement mixer together for my brother. He starts things and doesn't finish it, has a scratch off problem too. I told him that if two of his brothers can quit smoking he can walk away from the scratch offs.