What's new

The Original O'l Farts Club.

Putembk

Putembk

One Toke Over The Line
Premium user
Africanna said:
No wonder you have a host of ladies serving you gallons of the shite
Click to expand...
Big always gets the women.

iu
 
Africanna

Africanna

Well-known member
Gypsy Nirvana said:
Had the most simple of appointments at the hospital today - basically I walked there stopping every 10 minutes to guzzle a total of 2 and a half pints of water - then checked into the Urodynamics Department - and took a whizz in the 'special toilet'- so that they could then checkout the bladder volume - followed by a quick ultrasound of the bladder and that's it - no doctors - no injections - medicines or invasive treatments etc - just one older nurse - with a smile - and lots of gell 😀 - and was all done and dusted within 15 minutes -

Next up is an appointment with a Urologist on the 26th February -
Click to expand...
When that nurse gets serious and the fun starts
 
Gypsy Nirvana

Gypsy Nirvana

Recalcitrant Reprobate -
Administrator
Veteran
Africanna said:
When that nurse gets serious and the fun starts
Click to expand...
She was a real professional - got me up to speed on pressing the brown intercom button - to let her know that I had an up and coming need to pee - and when I did - she whisked me away to a small room with the - 'special toilet' - in it - where I did my duty - for King and Country! -

- Then we had a swift episode of 'drop ya troosers' - and gell application - <the snapping of rubber gloves> - a quick swizz around the lower abdomen/bladder area - with the ultrasound - a few beeps on a screen - and 'Bob's ya Blinkers' - it was all over - she smiled - and gave me some prostate literature - all about the myriad of treatments currently available 😀 -
 
dogzter

dogzter

Drapetomaniac
Gypsy Nirvana said:
She was a real professional - got me up to speed on pressing the brown intercom button - to let her know that I had an up and coming need to pee - and when I did - she whisked me away to a small room with the - 'special toilet' - in it - where I did my duty - for King and Country! -

- Then we had a swift episode of 'drop ya troosers' - and gell application - <the snapping of rubber gloves> - a quick swizz around the lower abdomen/bladder area - with the ultrasound - a few beeps on a screen - and 'Bob's ya Blinkers' - it was all over - she smiled - and gave me some prostate literature - all about the myriad of treatments currently available 😀 -
Click to expand...
Can you describe the special toilet please?
 
Gypsy Nirvana

Gypsy Nirvana

Recalcitrant Reprobate -
Administrator
Veteran
dogzter said:
Can you describe the special toilet please?
Click to expand...
Hmmm - I think that in all the kerfuffle of signing for permissions for the medics to do stuff to me - I might have signed a 'Special Toilet' non disclosure agreement - but will say this - it was opaque to transparent - and not made for sitting on - didn't look sturdy enough for me anyway - in the base of it was a removable catchment cup/beaker - it looked kinda basic and not so technologically advanced - as if the same model had been used since the 1950's - and I operated it - standing up - without splashing -
 
HarleyJammer

HarleyJammer

Well-known member
✓
Veteran
... I backed my van into the driveway. I was.. I dont know.. let down I suppose. The pastor of all churches, "Saint Michael's"; the biggest badass angel of all time.. was a big p*ssy. He ran.. FFS.. How would he be able to deal with just ONE of the things that was thrown on my plate. I wanted to go in the house and pack a bowl.

I sat behind the bar in my basement. My intention was to pack one and relax. Instead, I just stared into the Silence of Infinity. I tried to gather my Yin and my Yang to spin in harmony.. find my baseline of homeostasis. BREATHE.

Sitting in silence tears began to roll down my face. I didn't feel like crying.. it was like an autonomic response. After a minute or two I chuckled. What a sight I must have been to behold.. a 6 foot 300 pound plus bearded tattooed man with tears running down his face.. I'm glad no one is here to see this!

Wiping away the tears I fell back into Infinity. My gaze went up to the brass crucifix hanging on the wall; the crucifix that was in my gramma's casket at her wake back in '99. The words "Abba, Abba, why have you forsaken me?" comes into my mind. Why, why God am I going through this ordeal? Can't you see I am in torment? Why are you allowing this to happen to me? I need your help. Your priest has forsaken me. What is it that I should do? Is this all some kind of test? All of this is beyond my fragile human mortality. I cant handle this any longer... Take this chalice away from me.

God did not answer my call of distress. At this time it was unbeknownst to me that whoever whatever had bigger plans. The bizarre and supernatural attacks would ramp up.. fast and furious.. coming at me at every angle. ..

In hindsight, I can imagine whoever whatever saying, "Here, hold my beer"....

... to be continued ...
 
bigsur51

bigsur51

On a mailtrain.
Premium user
Veteran
420club
HarleyJammer said:
... I backed my van into the driveway. I was.. I dont know.. let down I suppose. The pastor of all churches, "Saint Michael's"; the biggest badass angel of all time.. was a big p*ssy. He ran.. FFS.. How would he be able to deal with just ONE of the things that was thrown on my plate. I wanted to go in the house and pack a bowl.

I sat behind the bar in my basement. My intention was to pack one and relax. Instead, I just stared into the Silence of Infinity. I tried to gather my Yin and my Yang to spin in harmony.. find my baseline of homeostasis. BREATHE.

Sitting in silence tears began to roll down my face. I didn't feel like crying.. it was like an autonomic response. After a minute or two I chuckled. What a sight I must have been to behold.. a 6 foot 300 pound plus bearded tattooed man with tears running down his face.. I'm glad no one is here to see this!

Wiping away the tears I fell back into Infinity. My gaze went up to the brass crucifix hanging on the wall; the crucifix that was in my gramma's casket at her wake back in '99. The words "Abba, Abba, why have you forsaken me?" comes into my mind. Why, why God am I going through this ordeal? Can't you see I am in torment? Why are you allowing this to happen to me? I need your help. Your priest has forsaken me. What is it that I should do? Is this all some kind of test? All of this is beyond my fragile human mortality. I cant handle this any longer... Take this chalice away from me.

God did not answer my call of distress. At this time it was unbeknownst to me that whoever whatever had bigger plans. The bizarre and supernatural attacks would ramp up.. fast and furious.. coming at me at every angle. ..

In hindsight, I can imagine whoever whatever saying, "Here, hold my beer"....

... to be continued ...
Click to expand...



oh the suspense is killing me!


so whilst we are all waiting on Part 9 Act 17 , start the day out right with some nice waves…..


 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Latest posts

Top