The Original O'l Farts Club.

[HempKat]

No law says a parent has to like their children.
Mine certainly did not like any of theirs and saw them as burdens as well.
After raising my own I don't understand that either.

True but there shouldn't need to be a law for certain things. If you don't like kids that's a person's right but there are ways to avoid kids. It really irritates me when people have kids they don't want and are frustrated by the burden of them simply because the male couldn't be bothered to sacrifice a bit of the pleasure by wearing a condom. A child can't help that for a period of time they need their parents to be responsible for their needs and that mght require a bit of sacrifice on the parent's part. Now when the child gets to be a rebellious teen then that's a different story, at that point the child should be accountable for their needs and behavior assuming they were raised right of course. Even then though, while a rebellious teen might test a parent there should still be love there. Again assuming that the child was raised right.

 

[Zivilpolizist]

Yes, it is difficult to understand and even I can say that without hesitation despite never having had any children of my own, other then my cats. My Mother was great, a lot like Doobers Mom but she didn't spoil me anywhere near as much but definitely showered me with love on a daily basis. My Father on the other hand was the problem parent for me. He was good as far as making sure I was well provided for as far as home, clothes, food, etc. But I learned early on when he came home you dare not interrupt him while he discussed the trials and tribulations he went thru at work with my mother. It was also understood to not expect anything from him until after he decompressed with a couple of bloody marys. He was never physically cruel with me although he was rougher on my two older brothers. By the time I was born my mother put an end to that nonsense. What really got to me was his mental cruelty. Whenever he got made he loved to let me and my brothers know that he wished we were never born and that we prevented him from being able to live the life he wanted. At least he wasn't like modern fathers that when they feel that way they just leave.

Sounds more mentally unstable than really cruel to me. I'm glad you had a loving mom therefore.

My dad was a cool dude but also emotionally some kind of cold. He died of cancer in my early twenties.

Kind of fckd up growing up thinking you have to deserve any kind of attention or love.

No law says a parent has to like their children.
Mine certainly did not like any of theirs and saw them as burdens as well.
After raising my own I don't understand that either.

That's true. You got to get a license to drive a car but anybody can have children...

 

[SubGirl]

What kind of prizes? Entry fee?

You gotta ask Joe. He’s got a little side thing going on after bingo.

 

[HempKat]

Sounds more mentally unstable than really cruel to me. I'm glad you had a loving mom therefore.

My dad was a cool dude but also emotionally some kind of cold. He died of cancer in my early twenties.

Kind of fckd up growing up thinking you have to deserve any kind of attention or love.


That's true. You got to get a license to drive a car but anybody can have children...

Yeah my Dad had some issues that likely stemmed from issues he had with his own Father. He used to tell a story on occasion about how when he was 17 him and his Father got in a fist fight and he beat his Father up to the point they made him leave home and having no way to support himself he joined the Navy. Years later as I approached the age of 17 I got involved in martial arts because it was kind of the cool and popular thing thanks to the likes of Bruce Lee. Anyway because of the guilt I think he carried with him about that fight he became convinced my reason for taking martial arts was so I could kill him. He even said so to me at one point. I would get angry with my Father at times but I never once thought of fighting him or had any desire to kill him. He was still my Father and he raised me fairly well despite his manic moods at times. Fortunately after I was an adult and on my own we stayed in close contact and were able to repair our relationship. My brothers on the other hand wanted nothing to do with him after my parents divorced (once the three of us were grown). There were a lot of unresolved feelings between my Father and my Brothers which never got resolved and went with my Father to the grave when he passed away. I am so grateful that me and my Father worked things out and that when he passed there was no emotional baggage between me and him.

 

[dogzter]

Raising kids was as much about me facing my own bullshit and making some adjustments as it was anything else.
Kids don't listen as much as they watch so if the walk doesn't match the talk they lose any respect something I understand myself.

 

[SubGirl]

Yeah my Dad had some issues that likely stemmed from issues he had with his own Father. He used to tell a story on occasion about how when he was 17 him and his Father got in a fist fight and he beat his Father up to the point they made him leave home and having no way to support himself he joined the Navy. Years later as I approached the age of 17 I got involved in martial arts because it was kind of the cool and popular thing thanks to the likes of Bruce Lee. Anyway because of the guilt I think he carried with him about that fight he became convinced my reason for taking martial arts was so I could kill him. He even said so to me at one point. I would get angry with my Father at times but I never once thought of fighting him or had any desire to kill him. He was still my Father and he raised me fairly well despite his manic moods at times. Fortunately after I was an adult and on my own we stayed in close contact and were able to repair our relationship. My brothers on the other hand wanted nothing to do with him after my parents divorced (once the three of us were grown). There were a lot of unresolved feelings between my Father and my Brothers which never got resolved and went with my Father to the grave when he passed away. I am so grateful that me and my Father worked things out and that when he passed there was no emotional baggage between me and him.

My mom was abusive to both us kids and my dad. I saw this early on in life but never realized how much it affected me until I moved away on my own. 600 miles away. I saw at that time that all that yelling she did was not necessary and removed it from my life where I had picked up her anxiety. After retirement, I moved back to Virginia to take care of her as she needed me. She thought that yelling would still work like it did when I was younger but soon grew to see that it didn’t. This pissed her off that I would not go with her down that road and caused a few problems between us while she was getting use to my way of not arguing with her. Her mind was not as sharp by this time. It was then she sometimes forgot that I was her daughter and she would say things like I wish I never had married, I never loved him and only did it to get out of the house. (My dad loved her till the end…) And I wish I had never had kids. My life would be so much better and even one night celebrating her birthday at my house after one too many wines said I wish I could be proud of my kids. This was very sad to me and kept me up at night crying and thinking about how much worse it was gonna get as the truth came out while her brain was diminishing and the cancer took over. Fortunately, she was not like that at all at the end and I could see the love and appreciation in her eyes for taking care of her till the end. I too feel that although it could have been a way better life, there was no emotional baggage between us at the end.

 

[oldmaninbc]

I View attachment 19046413 - I made an 'elbow' on one of the Zamaldelica's last week - because the plant was stretching so much - it might have become a security concern - on my little balcony - due to potentially nosey neighbours - and as you can see it's a 90 degree angle break of the stem - that's healing itself now -

Loki showed up to nibble on the lower leaves - as I was about to take the pic - cheeky little ragamuffin!
View attachment 19046415

Somebody has gone head over heals for a little raggamuffin, that didn't take long.
Gypsy enjoy your hot summer day.

 

[Zivilpolizist]

Yeah my Dad had some issues that likely stemmed from issues he had with his own Father. He used to tell a story on occasion about how when he was 17 him and his Father got in a fist fight and he beat his Father up to the point they made him leave home and having no way to support himself he joined the Navy. Years later as I approached the age of 17 I got involved in martial arts because it was kind of the cool and popular thing thanks to the likes of Bruce Lee. Anyway because of the guilt I think he carried with him about that fight he became convinced my reason for taking martial arts was so I could kill him. He even said so to me at one point. I would get angry with my Father at times but I never once thought of fighting him or had any desire to kill him. He was still my Father and he raised me fairly well despite his manic moods at times. Fortunately after I was an adult and on my own we stayed in close contact and were able to repair our relationship. My brothers on the other hand wanted nothing to do with him after my parents divorced (once the three of us were grown). There were a lot of unresolved feelings between my Father and my Brothers which never got resolved and went with my Father to the grave when he passed away. I am so grateful that me and my Father worked things out and that when he passed there was no emotional baggage between me and him.

My mom was abusive to both us kids and my dad. I saw this early on in life but never realized how much it affected me until I moved away on my own. 600 miles away. I saw at that time that all that yelling she did was not necessary and removed it from my life where I had picked up her anxiety. After retirement, I moved back to Virginia to take care of her as she needed me. She thought that yelling would still work like it did when I was younger but soon grew to see that it didn’t. This pissed her off that I would not go with her down that road and caused a few problems between us while she was getting use to my way of not arguing with her. Her mind was not as sharp by this time. It was then she sometimes forgot that I was her daughter and she would say things like I wish I never had married, I never loved him and only did it to get out of the house. (My dad loved her till the end…) And I wish I had never had kids. My life would be so much better and even one night celebrating her birthday at my house after one too many wines said I wish I could be proud of my kids. This was very sad to me and kept me up at night crying and thinking about how much worse it was gonna get as the truth came out while her brain was diminishing and the cancer took over. Fortunately, she was not like that at all at the end and I could see the love and appreciation in her eyes for taking care of her till the end. I too feel that although it could have been a way better life, there was no emotional baggage between us at the end.

Sounds like you both found your peace.

I'm still on that journey as I still think my life has only gotten better since there is no contact anymore.

I also made clear that I'm not gonna take care of her in her elder years. I ain't got no love at all for this person.
In my memories with her there is only pain.

Good memories regarding childhood only took place when my grandmother was in charge of me.

What makes it even harder is realizing that almost all the family felt like my sister was my mother's favorite child.
For example my father's brother or the mother of my best friend since kindgarden told that to me when I broke up the contact.

 

[oldmaninbc]

"Hi Pute, I don't own nor have ever owned a grandfather clock, why would it stop working because you moved it? "
IMHO I just think it was time
Good Mornin Oldman and friends !
As Big would say ,I forgot what he does say on a Sunday
Big please step in

Hello my good man, it's always a pleasure, morning or evening, to say Hi and wish you well.

I just don't like thick crust pizza.

 

[Gray Wolf]

I feel you man. My elder sister also is her golden child.

She doesn't understand anything since she has always been treated more than fair by her.

Since I broke up the contact to my mother she also broke the contact to me and my daughter/her niece up.
Although we never had any problems with each other.

And my sister thinks I am the one who is beeing manipulated by his wife

Mom was the German side of my family and both her and Dad (Welch) grew up in the Great Depression in poverty and Dad fought in WW-II, which affected their perspective. It definitely made them resourceful and gave them both strong work ethics, which they passed on to us kids, but neither were warm and fuzzy.

Perhaps a sign of the times, their simplified child psychology and nurture was, "go get the belt!" My dad only twice in my lifetime, but my mom regularly.

My elder sister and first born was Mom's golden child as well, and played her like a violin, while one of my younger sisters that was class president, basketball team captain, and homecoming queen, was closest to Dad and had him wrapped around her little finger. She is a sweetheart and my favorite too!

I was the only son, but Dad kept his nose to the grindstone between our farm and his job as maintenance superintendent at a local oil refinery, so that the only activities that we really shared was me playing step and fetch on his home/farm projects and when we hunted or fished.

Whether I had a warm and fuzzy relationship with my parents or not, I recognize that they did the best they could with what they had at the time and they did provide the genetics and teach me what it took to be more successful than they were, as well as live longer.

My father was an old man and physical wreck at 55 years old when killed in an automobile accident.

 

[Putembk]

I never had a real father. My 3rd dad (step) died last month…we were never close. My mother died in 2006 didn’t shed a tear. The way my parents raised me made me a better parent.

Today our daughter is our best friend. She is 45 and we talk every day.

 

[SubGirl]

Hello my good man, it's always a pleasure, morning or evening, to say Hi and wish you well.

I just don't like thick crust pizza.

I gotta say I like most all kinds of pizza some better than others but it all goes down pretty good been gas station pizza at 7-11. They can cook a pizza in 2 minutes. I’m a sucker for gas station food.

 

[Zivilpolizist]

I never had a real father. My 3rd dad (step) died last month…we were never close. My mother died in 2006 didn’t shed a tear. The way my parents raised me made me a better parent.

Today our daughter is our best friend. She is 45 and we talk every day.

Yeah I guess doing better with one's own children is the most positive thing you can make out of beeing raised by bad parents...

 

[oldmaninbc]

Good day OF, yep, you are all one day older.

 

[oldmaninbc]

I gotta say I like most all kinds of pizza some better than others but it all goes down pretty good been gas station pizza at 7-11. They can cook a pizza in 2 minutes. I’m a sucker for gas station food.

Hello and good day Sub, I can honestly say I have never had gas station food. I've had gas at the gas station

 

[Gray Wolf]

My mom was abusive to both us kids and my dad. I saw this early on in life but never realized how much it affected me until I moved away on my own. 600 miles away. I saw at that time that all that yelling she did was not necessary and removed it from my life where I had picked up her anxiety. After retirement, I moved back to Virginia to take care of her as she needed me. She thought that yelling would still work like it did when I was younger but soon grew to see that it didn’t. This pissed her off that I would not go with her down that road and caused a few problems between us while she was getting use to my way of not arguing with her. Her mind was not as sharp by this time. It was then she sometimes forgot that I was her daughter and she would say things like I wish I never had married, I never loved him and only did it to get out of the house. (My dad loved her till the end…) And I wish I had never had kids. My life would be so much better and even one night celebrating her birthday at my house after one too many wines said I wish I could be proud of my kids. This was very sad to me and kept me up at night crying and thinking about how much worse it was gonna get as the truth came out while her brain was diminishing and the cancer took over. Fortunately, she was not like that at all at the end and I could see the love and appreciation in her eyes for taking care of her till the end. I too feel that although it could have been a way better life, there was no emotional baggage between us at the end.

Yeah, my mom was the physically abusive one in our family too. The two times Dad beat me with a belt he left me bruised and bleeding, but Mom did it regularly as her stress relieving exercise.

Both of my parents conveyed how much of a burden raising children was and they wouldn't do it again.

Dad was killed on my 29th birthday without me ever getting to talk to him adult to adult, which distressed me greatly at the time, and my mom wasn't speaking to me when she died, which was a manipulation that I had learned to ignore.

 

[Putembk]

I gotta say I like most all kinds of pizza some better than others but it all goes down pretty good been gas station pizza at 7-11. They can cook a pizza in 2 minutes. I’m a sucker for gas station food.

They sell sushi at gas stations

 

[Gray Wolf]

I never had a real father. My 3rd dad (step) died last month…we were never close. My mother died in 2006 didn’t shed a tear. The way my parents raised me made me a better parent.

Today our daughter is our best friend. She is 45 and we talk every day.

I learned what not to do from my parents too.

My daughter has been my best friend too since she was a toddler. She is 57 but lives in Texas so I typically only get to see her annually, but we stay in touch via phone and e-mail.

 

[Gray Wolf]

They sell sushi at gas stations

The good full aroma stuff anyway!

 

[oldmaninbc]

What does alcohol have to do with a case of red ass?

Wondering what Doober is gonna burn into our minds today…

Hello Pute and good day to you.

Alcohol and hemorrhoids can be a bad combination, can lead to bleeding.

With Doober, you can bet it's going to be a surprise.