The Original O'l Farts Club.

[CharlesU Farley]

As much as I have enjoyed your company and entertainment during the dark days of winter, I need to put my phone down and pick up the gardening tools in preparation for the growing season.

I will check in now and then, but you guys average 10 pages a day and there is no way I can keep up. Once the heat of summer shows up I will be back with a little more consistency. Until then, Keep the coffee bold, the coffee girls hot, the plants green and smelly, the laughter loud, and the love alive.

I'm right there with you! I'll check in at 10:00 in the morning and only look at the last three pages, otherwise it just takes too much time. And I hate that because some of these posts in here are not only highly informative but they're funny as shit as well and it gets my day off to a good start.

In addition to being cranky, snarly, and generally socially unacceptable, I have a lot of similarities with the rest of you old fucks.

Enjoy reading your posts in other threads, hope you stay active in those as much as possible.

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

Funniest actual, real name of someone I've interacted with was a woman named Chastity Beaver.

That's no shit!

I knew a lady called Miss Tittyporn once in Thailand - apparently the Tittyporns are quite an upstanding and important family in Thai society - well - so she said -

 

[Putembk]

You are a good man Dog! Respect for saving that kitty.

 

[CharlesU Farley]

Mrs. Ahab went to a yard sale this morning.
She got 28 boxes for five bucks a box.
Score!
She's the best.
View attachment 18987584

That is an awesome price! I stocked up on a whole mess of 223 ammo 20-30 years ago that I'm still using now, for just burning through a clip or two with the g-kids.

I keep Winchester silver tip polymers in the active clip for immediate use with coyotes. The other clip I've got taped to the main clip, for use when I'm just plinking around or I've got to make a point with my neighbors and empty a couple of clips. Luckily, I haven't had to do that in quite a while since they know who I am now.

I still use those old, cheap cartridges and can't believe 223's got over a dollar a round, even for the cheap shit.

Respect to Mrs. Capt. Ahab for finding you such a good deal!

 

[CharlesU Farley]

View attachment 18987586
Got a nurse already lined for Gypsy.

That's what he thinks the nurse is going to look like that'll be taking care of him. Here's what the nurse is really going to _look_ like:

Nothing says "boner be gone" than this!

 

[bigsur51]

I'm right there with you! I'll check in at 10:00 in the morning and only look at the last three pages, otherwise it just takes too much time. And I hate that because some of these posts in here are not only highly informative but they're funny as shit as well and it gets my day off to a good start.

In addition to being cranky, snarly, and generally socially unacceptable, I have a lot of similarities with the rest of you old fucks.

Enjoy reading your posts in other threads, hope you stay active in those as much as possible.

hear hear all you mother truckers!…

and this ain’t just another pretty face by gawd

 

[jokerman]

 

[jokerman]

I knew a lady called Miss Tittyporn once in Thailand - apparently the Tittyporns are quite an upstanding and important family in Thai society - well - so she said -

I held Tittyporn in high regard ,just saying.

 

[Gypsy Nirvana]

As the sun goes down over Westminster -

 

[jokerman]

I held Tittyporn in high regard ,just saying.

still do

 

[jokerman]

Mrs. Ahab went to a yard sale this morning.
She got 28 boxes for five bucks a box.
Score!
She's the best.
View attachment 18987584

That is one fine Mrs. you got there

 

[jokerman]

I dont know if this funny or Im too stoned..
Parts of me laugh ,parts of me don't ,most of me is hungry and distracted.

 

[Capt.Ahab]

Too many of those types of jokes will put you in the fifth dimension.

 

[jokerman]

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stifflegged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too."

 

[Unca Walt]

On the train to Waterloo now - Choooo - Choooo!

@Gypsy Nirvana -- Damn! I wish I had thought of this sooner. It is mid-afternoon here in Floriduh, and too late to give you two ideas:

1. Go buy/steal a voice-to-print app, and...

2. Also buy an auto-editing app.

OR NUMBA THREE, GI!! Added becuz you will be able to do the following while laying there recuperating and looking like Dr. Frankenstein's first attempt.

Just sit/lay anywhere and audio-record your life experiences by stream-of-consciousness and stream-of-memory. I recorded my entire novel, "Faerie Diamonds" so my beloved, newly blind father-in-law could still hear the story. The recording gadget I used was the equivalent of a hand-crank phone to what is available today.

Fargin things nowadays -- jeez -- forty bucks gets you a paltry

72GB Digital Voice Recorder: Voice Activated Recorder with Playback, Audio Recording Device​

on Amazon.

That way, you can hear yourself (while taking notes -- or directly modifying what is recorded then and there) and know exactly what you want to keep, what you want to rephrase, and what you want to expand on.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You can do none of these things while typing. Especially when you look like you just hatched another fargin alien.

 

[BrassNwood]

Checked into the hospital - but we are having to wait in some waiting room - for an unspecified time - until they can find a bed for me I presume - I did ask how long we would have to wait - and the nurse said - ' how long is a piece of string' - so could be any length of time -

Glad they got you sorted out I had visions of you on a gurney in the hall!

Gonna be a beautiful day here today and I look forward to what it brings us.

I remember after my colon exploded the second time things were very busy at the hospital and it was about 20 hours, I spent in the hall with my gurney in bay C12 along with 15 others as we waited for rooms to open up. Ahh the memories. I'd mostly forgotten about that bit of fun.

 

[BrassNwood]

Check out the dance moves. LOL

 

[Unca Walt]

I remember after my colon exploded the second time things were very busy at the hospital and it was about 20 hours, I spent in the hall with my gurney in bay C12 along with 15 others as we waited for rooms to open up. Ahh the memories. I'd mostly forgotten about that bit of fun.

Oh man... That just ain't right.

 

[kaochiu]

I've been there a few times too, probably due to my chic lifestyle and the odd cancer, but at 58 still I don't qualify as old fart, so I just came to say best luck to Gypsy, and a speedy recovery. And the same goes for all others who are through critical medical conditions.
I will dedicate you all a nice asturian poem:

If viagra doesn't work
cos you have misread the label
get a piercing in the willy
and a magnet in the navel.

 

[Unca Walt]

Mrs. Ahab went to a yard sale this morning.
She got 28 boxes for five bucks a box.
Score!
She's the best.
View attachment 18987584

25c a round. That's not bad for in-hand. Not bad at all.

Ammo.com sells them for 20c, but then you gotta buy get on the shipping bus becuz you gotta get a minimum 1,000 of them. <-- Mrs Ahab gets an "A".

Send her to more yard sales.