W
Womble
they're making a tribute shell-suit for Jimmy Saville,yeah the top comes in adult size but you're gonna have to fit into a child's bottoms
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And so it begins... Cue every Micheal Jackson joke, reworked for Jimmy Saville.
I'm surprised it took this long.
Wait til they look into the Necrophile rumours.
W
Womble
er is this not the joke thread?....if it ain't funny don't watch it no?
I should have put a smiley in, no judgement mate
ROTHFLMFAO. That is the funniest shit I have ever seen!!!
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black . . .
None, they just beat the room for being black . . .
A woman is having sex in her bed when she hears her husband come home. "Hurry", she says, "Hide in the closet while I get rid of him". The lover runs to the closet and closes the door. He suddenly hears a voice, her son has been watching and says "Dark in here". The lover, startled, says "Sure is". The voice says "I have a ball, I'll sell it to you for $500"? The lover says "No". The voice says "If you don't buy it I'll go get my dad". The lover says "OK"?
A couple of weeks later the lover returns. Again the husband returns home and he runs to the closet. The boy again says "Dark in here". The lover says "What now"? The boy says "I have a baseball glove, I'll cost you $500". The man says "This is robbery". The boy says "I'll go get my dad", so the man says "Alright"
A few days later the father tells his son to get his ball and glove so they can play. The boy says "I don't have them anymore, I sold them". The father says "For how much"? The son says "$1000". The father is enraged, he takes the son to church and makes him go to confession. The son enters the booth and says "Dark in here". the priest says "Don't start that shit again"!!!
A couple of weeks later the lover returns. Again the husband returns home and he runs to the closet. The boy again says "Dark in here". The lover says "What now"? The boy says "I have a baseball glove, I'll cost you $500". The man says "This is robbery". The boy says "I'll go get my dad", so the man says "Alright"
A few days later the father tells his son to get his ball and glove so they can play. The boy says "I don't have them anymore, I sold them". The father says "For how much"? The son says "$1000". The father is enraged, he takes the son to church and makes him go to confession. The son enters the booth and says "Dark in here". the priest says "Don't start that shit again"!!!
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
a rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary. They're both at Madison Avenue shopping for their wives. Poor man says to the Rich man, "What'd you get your wife this year?"
He says, "A Mercedes and a huge diamond ring." The poor man says, "Why'd you get her both?" The Rich man says, "If she doesn't like the ring, she can take it back happy."
The Poor man says, "O.K. That works." The Rich man says, "Well what did you get your wife?" The Poor man says, "A pair of slippers and a dildo." The Rich man says, "Why'd you get her a pair of slippers and a dildo?" The Poor man says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
He says, "A Mercedes and a huge diamond ring." The poor man says, "Why'd you get her both?" The Rich man says, "If she doesn't like the ring, she can take it back happy."
The Poor man says, "O.K. That works." The Rich man says, "Well what did you get your wife?" The Poor man says, "A pair of slippers and a dildo." The Rich man says, "Why'd you get her a pair of slippers and a dildo?" The Poor man says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots 2 houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says "What's up with your neighbors?" and the owner of the house says "Oh thats the Robinsons, they're both deaf. She's telling him to go milk the cow and he's telling her to go fuck herself!"
These jokes I'm posting...there seems to be a reoccuring theme here somewhere...
These jokes I'm posting...there seems to be a reoccuring theme here somewhere...
