It's a perpetual motion machine.
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RMS
when i first stated smoking weed i told myself id only smoke on special days. little did i know that every day was special
it "might" be your last. why risk it?
What's the most prolific oil in Mexico?
Pedroleum.
Pedroleum.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out.
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out.
Where's Silicone Valley?
Right between Dolly Parton's tits.
Right between Dolly Parton's tits.
brickweeder
Well-known member
yuck...do you by chance live in or near palm springs?
Well, I'll give you a hint...... I went to a garage sale today and saw a pair of matching 'his and his' butt plugs with squirrel heads on them. So, yeah.... pretty close to Palm Springs.
brickweeder
Well-known member
LOL! Somewhere, there is someone that would actually shell out some some cash for used items like those...
When I first saw them I thought they were new. But then, they tasted like shit so I knew they were used.
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RMS
The wind in your hair is not so good when it's your pubes.
Can you say chilly willy or frozen snatch?
Can you say chilly willy or frozen snatch?
Brother Nature
Well-known member
What did the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac stay up thinking about at night?
Is there a Dog?
Is there a Dog?
God Visited a woman and told her she must give up drinking, smoking and sex if she wants to get into heaven.
The woman said she would try her best.
God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on
“ Not bad” said the woman “I’ve given up drinking, smoking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, pulled my skirt up, pulled my nickers to one side and made love to me right then and there”.
“They don’t like that in heaven” said God.
The woman replied: “They’re not too happy about it in Lidl either”!
The woman said she would try her best.
God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on
“ Not bad” said the woman “I’ve given up drinking, smoking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, pulled my skirt up, pulled my nickers to one side and made love to me right then and there”.
“They don’t like that in heaven” said God.
The woman replied: “They’re not too happy about it in Lidl either”!
Stanley died
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue
Needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer
Hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and
Fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter
Said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The
Mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."
The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to
Confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup,
he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and
Gomer said, "No, it ain't Stanley."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Stanley had two
Ass-holes." "What! He had two ass-holes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we
Never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, There's Stanley with them two
Ass-holes."
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue
Needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer
Hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and
Fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter
Said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The
Mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."
The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to
Confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup,
he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and
Gomer said, "No, it ain't Stanley."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Stanley had two
Ass-holes." "What! He had two ass-holes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we
Never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, There's Stanley with them two
Ass-holes."
