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A farmer buys a young rooster to impregnate his chickens. The young rooster struts into the barn and yells to the old rooster, “Get out, old man! This is my barn now!”
“Tell you what,” says the old rooster. “I’ll race you around the farm; winner gets all the chicks.”
The old rooster takes off toward the front of the house with the young rooster chasing him. The farmer takes one look at the roosters, pulls out his shotgun, and blows the young one away.
“Darn it,” says the farmer. “That’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month!”
“Tell you what,” says the old rooster. “I’ll race you around the farm; winner gets all the chicks.”
The old rooster takes off toward the front of the house with the young rooster chasing him. The farmer takes one look at the roosters, pulls out his shotgun, and blows the young one away.
“Darn it,” says the farmer. “That’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month!”
C, E-flat and G go into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves.
C and G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat.
F comes in and tries to augment the situation,
but is not sharp enough.
D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated,
comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development."
Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel.
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility.
The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons,
the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves.
C and G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat.
F comes in and tries to augment the situation,
but is not sharp enough.
D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated,
comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development."
Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel.
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility.
The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons,
the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
rod58
Active member
i was drinking at the bar when this huge guy walks in , bloody huge he was but his head was out of proportion to the rest of him , tiny it was ..well he ordered a drink and i had to ask him , mate , whats the deal with your head to body ratio ?? like this mate , walking home one night and came across a bottle which i gave a quick rub and and this gorgeous genie flew out ...well three wishes it was , i said ,i wish i could poke you , sorry we don't do that , okay then a million dollars ..booom done ..second wish ,still like to roger you ,nah sorry ,ok then a dodge challenger bearcat ..booom done , last wish , still love to jump you ..sorry , no can do ,,ok then how about a little head ....
what do cowboy hats and hemorrhoids have in common???
sooner or later every asshole gets one.......
