Spit a Freestyle, it's worth your while

[Artie Lange]

a slap in the mouth , thats what you need fam
fuck that faggot ass bitch the weedman
ill hop outta my green van, and use my b plan
i mean plan b, most of these icmag cats cant stand me

whats on my computer table, gatorade and water
ill take a sip and bust ya lip as you prepare for the slaughter
ill rape your daughter ,while your lookin for a cake to order
that made no sense, cause my hash plant is so dense
covered in full trichs, my buds are burly like bull dykes,
when i hit them in my bong that pulls nice.

split the seeds with your bro? youd get locked up this fast
hes in the clink, over the sink with a cock up his ass
dont fuck with artie or else your dad will be missin
now hes mad, but dont forget your kneepads in prison

 

[WeedMan90.OG 01]

a slap in the mouth , thats what you need fam
fuck that faggot ass bitch the weedman
ill hop outta my green van, and use my b plan
i mean plan b, most of these icmag cats cant stand me

whats on my computer table, gatorade and water
ill take a sip and bust ya lip as you prepare for the slaughter
ill rape your daughter ,while your lookin for a cake to order
that made no sense, cause my hash plant is so dense
covered in full trichs, my buds are burly like bull dykes,
when i hit them in my bong that pulls nice.

split the seeds with your bro? youd get locked up this fast
hes in the clink, over the sink with a cock up his ass
dont fuck with artie or else your dad will be missin
now hes mad, but dont forget your kneepads in prison

What the fuck was that bitch?/
Ill attack fast and cut you with the razor i shave my ass with/
Thats just to be lavish/
Verbal born savage that petrudes above the average/
Tie you up with gay dudes on seven lamborghini aspirins/
And spin you back like fat kids on acid doin' backflips/
An ill bound erbivore eaten' wack mc's i've never heard before/
I'll only wreck just a portion more/
But i've seen better lines on a junkys floor/

-WM

 

[Artie Lange]

What the fuck was that bitch?/
Ill attack fast and cut you with the razor i shave my ass with/
Thats just to be lavish/
Verbal born savage that petrudes above the average/
Tie you up with gay dudes on seven lamborghini aspirins/
And spin you back like fat kids on acid doin' backflips/
An ill bound erbivore eaten' wack mc's i've never heard before/
I'll only wreck just a portion more/
But i've seen better lines on a junkys floor/

-WM

you shave your ass , thats fact not fiction/
less anal hairs means less friction,to stick a dick in/
lambourghini asprin?shut the fuck up, has been/
youve been caught in bed with mad men.
put on my cleats and use your face to dance on/
your mug is covered in blood, like a heavy flow tampon/
youll get ramped on, like half pipes and rails/
your bitch has a mustache and is shaped like a whale.

 

[SaintVicious]

hrmmm... what the fucks goin on in here
i see pussy and weed but no fuckin beer
its been a few pages since i showed my face
so look at the grin that fell from grace
i have all day long and nothin to say
this one'll be like the other days
take it from the tech nine holder
this side of the gun is much much colder
take it from the tech nine holder
this side of the gun is much much colder

and now onto another train of thought
roll up a joint of this kush i bought
maybe a little bit of this sour d
and some of this trainwreck dipped in honey
ooh yeaa that hits that spot
beer, pussy and smokin the best pot
ooh yeaa that hits that spot
beer, pussy and smokin the best pot

and now im signing off for a bit
but ill be back later for another hit
catch me at prime time ill be here
ready to flow get ready to fear

(done to track 10 "Figaro" off the Madvillainy Instrumental album)

 

[WeedMan90.OG 01]

you shave your ass , thats fact not fiction/
less anal hairs means less friction,to stick a dick in/
lambourghini asprin?shut the fuck up, has been/
youve been caught in bed with mad men.
put on my cleats and use your face to dance on/
your mug is covered in blood, like a heavy flow tampon/
youll get ramped on, like half pipes and rails/
your bitch has a mustache and is shaped like a whale.

Move in for the kill and beat your lights out/
I'm unseen like stone cold steve austin's eyebrows/
Bars from the page attack and make your nosebleed/
I'm a hooker when it comes to battles I take the wholething/
No time for riff raff slap your bitchass for just trying to chit chat/
I quit playing games I break mics like kit kats/
Got more paper than ex-wifes gettin' they kids back/
And it's like that, I be that baddest when the battles over/
Full clips you're bullshit like cattle boulders/

 

[Artie Lange]

you wanna battle in gibberish, and nonsensical words
your style is garbage, fuck what ya heard
i stay flowing like lava,or shit from a diaper
youre the next yummybud,niggas just dont like ya,im hyper
steal your mom and wife her, spread the pigs hairy muff,spit once and knife her
violent and malevolent ,straight demonic visions, your mouth contains 50 strains of jism.

asians taste like duck sauce, you had enuff boss? you could get your truck lost/
you need to let go, catch a brusin while your crusin in your geo metro/
catch a 3 cyclinder beat down,/ no need for heat clown/, ill mash your brains with my feet now

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Harder then titanium shot strain through your brain
if I were a weed plant I'd be the bombest strain
i'm so hardcore i'll tickle you until you go insane
then force feed you twinkies till you burst from weight gain
as I walk away from your corpse i'll cry out for your pain
then go splash in the big puddles made by the rain


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

 

[Guest]

It's been a while but no I'm back in it
till I'm finished
by now, my first post is classic vintage
Like a Goldie Hawn poster
the smoke-a-thon roaster
herb is broke up on coaster
and then I set my beer down
stay away from queer clowns
my lungs been known to clear pounds
straight off the top, if you didn't know, now you're privy
never skimpy with the shiva but the cryppies out to get me
somewhat picky with the sticky, but I'll blaze the shitty brickweed
trippy as a hippy buy I'm blitzied swiggin Mickeys
Down for twelve-twelve while I'm blastin "Hells Bells"
Now I'm think "oh hell, well, now I'll boost the bud swell"
Runnin out of topics while I'm posted in the tropics
nevermind the ponics, pick the coco when I want it.
drink until I vomit, name my boat the S.S. Chronic
Now I'm stuck with Mrs. Howell and I'm this endowed
Wanna see a ship or trainwreck? This is how.

I'm done.

Edit: Dude...I had to add like 5 letters that I forgot the 1st time

 

[ethereal]

straight off the top, if you didn't know, now you're privy
never skimpy with the shiva but the cryppies out to get me
somewhat picky with the sticky, but I'll blaze the shitty brickweed
trippy as a hippy but I'm blitzied swiggin Mickeys

lol

 

[ethereal]

hey Artie, as your manager i feel i should make some edits to this scrap

you wanna battle in gibberish, and nonsensical words
your style is garbage, fuck what ya heard
i stay flowing like lava,or shit from a diaper
youre the next yummybud,niggas just dont like ya,im hyper
steal your mom and wife her, spread the pigs hairy muff,spit once and knife her
violent and malevolent ,straight demonic visions, your mouth contains 50 strains of jism.
you should have stopped here
asians taste like duck sauce, you had enuff boss? take the next two words to the bank and "GET LOST"
you could get your truck lost/
you need to let go, catch a brusin while your crusin in your geo metro/
catch a 3 cyclinder beat down,/ no need for heat clown/, ill mash your brains with my feet now weak

 

[Artie Lange]

oh what you dont know,i was stoned bro feelin nice yo
smokin on some local outdoors with some ISO
i spit all my shit off the top on the spot for this crew
make sense is something i do not wanna do
cant stop rhyming till this blunt is finshed
looks like ill be flowing for the next five minutes
i could talk crazy and call weed "jive spinach"
once again im talking wacky shit, roll a euro joint,puff puff,nasty tobaccy hit
cant wait to go to amsterdam and sample the strains
hit the red light district and sample some brains,this man is insane
if see artie in the dam dont act like you be knowin me either
ill cadaver ya and smoke lavender with soma the breeder
congrats weedman youre reppin the queers
soma fuckin tripped when he stepped on his beard
plop , into the canal, i saved him, wouldnt you?
i tied a long rope to the end of wooden shoe
he hopped out and said " im wet , but at least my keys are clean"
i said" hi, im artie the nyc diesel fiend"
"oh shit, hi art, i had to get you a present, heres some free seeds for an internet legend"

new shit,new story, and a new beggining
congrats to the tigers cause the dudes are winning
not sure of the inning but i know the coach
this freestyle is dead as i put out my roach

 

[I Used To Grow]

I sit here tryin to get thoughts straight
Do I have any control or is it just fate
different shit same day
gotta be another way
too much smoke, too many drinks
makes it hard for a man to think
will my sins catch up and trip me up?
will I end up in Hell shackled to Satan's nuts?
Deep is the mind when all you have is time
thoughts, actions and emotions helped write this rhyme
stuck inside I'm screaming, can't release these demons
Can't get no woman but I keep trying
I use so much lotion my hands can't dry
All I have is my imagination, living in this fucked up nation
war on drugs, war on terror....getting us nowhere
the leaders look at us like peasants
the dawning of a new era would be heavensent
everyone lookin for a release
so we smoke dem trees
but nothing changes, we still on our knees
working for minimum wage, I'm in a rage
want to release it all but I can't find stage
Need to get away, quit being a slave
move to Holland and do my true trade

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

i'm gonna chug this beer then spit another line
gonna go down quick cuz i'll pretend it's wine
*glug glug glug glug glug*.....
so i'm lookin' at my beer, and what the fuck?
there's something on the bottom it looks to be stuck
it's some cat hair and dirt, it fell on my shirt
now that it's soiled it'll be hard to flirt
since flirting is out, hurting is in
"hey what's up babe?" then i'll kick her in her shin
"do you scream like that for every man?" i ask with smooth talk
"why yes jam master now let me suck your phat cock"
well that was easy but it's all in my head
my girl said it's humorous that that's what i said
she wants you to know that if that really were to happen
she'd knee me in the balls while all her friends are clappin'

 

[sproutco]

What's up with that crazy fresh avatar Jam Master?

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

shit yo i was a bored and couldn't sleep
so i got a bright idea man it was deep
i'm the master of jam so i found some jelly
i took that pic and made it into my belly
found a dope ass clock that hung down to my cock
then posted up my furry face cuz dude i rock


*edit* here's the pic i used for my face...

 

[Artie Lange]

shit yo i was a bored and couldn't sleep
so i got a bright idea man it was deep
i'm the master of jam so i found some jelly
i took that pic and made it into my belly
found a dope ass clock that hung down to my cock
then posted up my furry face cuz dude i rock


*edit* here's the pic i used for my face...

try to steal my leftover lasagna,not so fast
im pretty sure that your face is a boxers ass

 

[Jam Master Jaco]

Not a dog's ass but the beauty of nature
i eat your pasta rudely cuz i'm cold like a glacier

*edit* I smoke so much pot I turned into a pan
I'm the one who cooks bacon for the president of Iran
before you cook foods make sure you butter me up
cuz my balls are sticky that's why i wear a teflon cup

 

[LORD BENIS]

Well if you're cold as a glacier then I'll be hot as hell
and you'd know I was coming just because of the smell
sorta like a ball sack, or maybe the bacon they cook in Iraq
well how about that, I'm cookin up a delicious wrap
in a pot, pan, or cup;
but wait, hold up, why's my shit all greasy
that sleazy Jam Master done broke into my heezy
and left an axis of evil all over my dishes
Teflon, butter, and nut;
what the fuck, those were never my wishes
Guess I'll save up for some nukes, bomb his ass like Japan
in real time, present day, because I'm the shah of Iran

 

[Guest]

I'm a fiend for the green,you know I'll come prepared
with a bing, some o-rings and dope in a tupperware
smoke screen from the genius clone, who the fuck is there
But that doesn't de-rail me from getting lifted
fat fuckin fe-male trees, somethin is missin
..back from the weed-sale street with a spliff, kid
just spit the whole nine, dope rhymes with a hookah
bull shit you won't find no rhymes bout the buddah
you'll get to hold mine in time like you usedta
y tu pump up the fuckin gravity
sweet tooth gave my lungs a fuckin cavity
geez, dude, what the fuck is happening

hmm..really hoped I could've kept it going..oh well

 

[sackoweed]

here is mine " yo bust this" with my nine so i can smoke mine.. peace..
ps i hope you know im joking..

sack