My Wife, I Hate Her.

[Lazyman]

Damn dude, I didn't read the whole thread, but I dumped the gal I lived with for 6 years as she was sucking the life out of me. One of the best things I ever did. I'm about to quit the job I work at that is doing the same thing, you gotta look out for #1 all the time, because everyone else is too! If you one day find someone who puts your happiness above yours, and you can do the same for them, you marry that girl and file for custody of your son!

Good luck bro, stay strong and remember, this too shall pass!

 

[boxmunch9]

Well my friend your growing past is all hearsay, so no worries there. A divorce does not mean that your son with not have a father in his life. Every child is entitled to two parents and they both have equal rights, courts recognize this fact as well. Although a scary option, divorce is probably your best course. Do not under estimate what a child goes through seeing his parents fight like crazy people every day. You'll have to explain to him that mommy and daddy not longer get along, but that you both love him every much. You will not be in your son’s life only if you choose not to be. The courts will assist you in seeing your child regularly, or you may even get custody of the child if you can present yourself as the more stable environment for the child, which might not be hard with the sounds of your wife. The worst thing you could do it continue down this road.

 

[whodi]

Feeling guilty is a useless emotion i've heard..

 

[guest]

what did chris rock say??? "i would never hit a bitch but i'd shake the shit outta one!"

This is the motto I live by: "What a life!! Without a wife!!

 

[guest]

Feeling guilty is a useless emotion i've heard..

Guilt is like carrying a bag of bricks.........All you need to do is set it down.

 

[kidface]

It sounds like your well fuckd off! you must get rid of the bitch!! before you go mad yourself,dont worry your son will understand friend.

 

[FrankRizzo]

Well, I've read through this whole thing and I feel there is some very level headed/good advise here. It's a lot to think about and take some time to absorb it all. Here are my personal feelings as someone who's parents tried to "make it work."

1.) It won't work. If it was going to you wouldn't be in this type of situation. It's nice to hear that you are in this for your son's best interests, not all fathers out there are. With that being said you need to get out. For everyone's sake.

2.) Start researching you options for when the shit hits the fan. Someone mentioned father's rights groups, I bet they will have loads of info. That way when cops/whoever show up or whatever you can stay calm. Present your side of the story whatever. It will make you look better in the officials/cops/judge eyes if you are calm, intelligent, respectful then being some screaming bitch. It'll piss her off to no end too, I guarantee it.

3.) While you are looking into the next steps you need to get rid of all of that gear. No matter what, period. The only reason I would fallow JJ's advice of the fake sale in front of her, is I bet she'll want to use some of the money. Have a friend or family member rent a storage unit and put it all in there. That way your name isn't involved if she gets a pi or someone out there looking for dirt on you. I would also stay 100% clean while all of this is going on. That way you can pass a drug test with no problem if it comes to that.

4.) Talk to a professional about how to help you kid understand all of this. Just one more way to prove you have you child's best interest in mind.

5.) Not matter what you can't trust someone that make threats and tries to hang something (let along a child) over your head. From now on I would act like she was going to carry out those threats. Get my house in order so if anyone shows up she's the one that looks nuts.

I could go one for a while, no need to keep repeating what's already been said. Just take time to think it all out. Good luck, stay safe out there

 

[Movintarget]

Not sure if this was covered or not, you do know that if any harm comes to the mother of your child, and any of these messages are found, it constitutes premed, difference of life in jail and the death house. I'd suggest closing this thread. Where is the MOD???

 

[Iron_Lion]

Well, let me start off by saying, my wife, I hate her w/ a passion.
We have only been married 5 years, but it is by far the worst 5 years of my life. I hate her, I hate everything about her, I wish her nothing but ill will.

Tonight was very ridiculous. It just made me realize that no matter what I do, it is unavoidable fact, that one day, I will not be able to go to sleep, and wake up w/ my son under the same roof. He is really the only reason I have not chopped off her head and buried her in a remote location. I love him to death, and I just could never ever do anything that would take him away from his mother. He is completely innocent, and it breaks my heart to know that one day, probably very soon, he will be living in a broken home, w/out a father. Unfortunately I cannot control her, and that is the road we are going down. Me personally, I would chose to stick it out until he is 18 and moving on w/ a life of his own as an adult, but I don't believe I am going to have a choice in the matter.
I just cannot live w/ this person anymore, and I am afraid that if I continue to do so, I will at some point lose control and do something that I would regret. I really don't know what to do. I don't even know if I am asking for any advice to be honest, I am just trying to get my thoughts out so that I can read them. Maybe some of you here could give me some good insight or words of wisdom. It just kills me, I am so torn. I refuse to walk out on my family, but at the same time, my wife realizes that she has all the power in the world because of that, and she does nothing but undermine me w/ my son, be combative and confrontational w/ each and every breath she takes. Literally, she could ask me what color the sky is, and if I say blue, she will w/out hesitation say, "NO IT'S RED W/ GREEN POLKADOTS!"
I have kept telling myself to wait, maybe she will grow up, maybe things will work out, but I just decided tonight, there is no hope. It seems like all I can do is sit and wait for her to make her move. I have told her that if she hates me and does not want to be w/ me, then go file for divorce and I will gladly sign away any hopes of having the type of life w/ my son that I want to have. At this point, I don't care and am tired, I am tired of the way she acts, the way she tries to provoke me at every turn, and the indifference she has w/ regard to how it affects our son. He is 5 on the 31st. It is to the point where I believe that she is intentionally trying to sabotage our lives, and get me to the point to where I just up and leave, so she can have a scapegoat, and tell my son, "your daddy left us" so that she does not have to accept responsibility for our family falling apart. I really think she wants to see that, she wants to see my son's heart break, and she wants to see my son grow up to hate me based on his perception that "his daddy left him". Obviously that is what he would think if I did leave, even though I know that somewhere down the road he is so smart, that he would one day realize what had happened.
I just do not know where to go from here.
In my mind, I think regardless of who leaves who, my son is going to be destroyed, but I just cannot see raising him in a home w/ someone like her. I am not knocking anyone that comes from a divorced family, or that has divorced and has kids.
I simply know that the "best" thing for any kid, is to have his mom and dad, together, whole. It kills me to think that no matter what, that is not going to happen for him. It's not fair, it's not fair to him that I made a piss poor decision choosing his mom, and now he will be the one to ultimately suffer. I know, that she will get full custody of him. That scares me to be honest. But I know that if I fight it, she will just make it real ugly, bring out my past, tell the courts that for the last 2 years in CA I was growing, and using cannabis, etc..etc.....
I quit my job in CA, for the 2nd time as a result of her threats to take my son if I did not, and have now moved halfway across the country back to where we are both from.
Worked out good for her though, she decided we were going to move because she got her old job back, so goody for her. She threw the title to my car away before leaving CA, and now I can't even drive anywhere to get a job even if I wanted to. But at least I will be able to maybe in 8 to 9 weeks, or whenever CA will send it out to me.
Awesome she just rushed back in after storming out, assaulted me, and is now threatening to call the cops on me because I grabbed her wrist to prevent her from hitting me. All right!!
God I hope an act of god takes her off this earth w/ a quickness, at least then it would not be my fault.
Now she is telling me oh wait, "I won't call the cops, I am just going to wait and file for divorce tomorrow."
Thank god, maybe I am going to get some resolution finally. It sucks that my son will no longer have a father in his life. But she did say that she will just call the cops once a month and tell them I am growing dope, so that I go to jail. Good, then I will get full custody of my son when she gets pinched for calling in multiple false reports. And then after that, I will just do what I do lol.

Ok, sorry for the long post, now, she is saying everything is gonna be just fine, she isn't gonna do any of that stuff, no police, no taking my son, no trying to get me pinched in the future, etc....



PSYCHO

All this tonight,
stemmed from the fact that I downloaded the vidalia tor bundle w/ privoxy, and the firefox tor button onto her laptop...
I am not kidding.
I tried to explain it to her, show her how it worked and why it's important, and she flipped out like she was a fucking circus acrobat.
I promptly created a new user profile on the laptop, changed the admin password so that she could not remove these programs, and it all went downhill from there. Obviously I did that for safety, as I use that computer often, and I attempted to explain that to her, but before I could get 2 words out she was screaming about how she doesn't want to have to click on the "x" to close a window. I didn't even get a chance to tell her I could just make the vidalia window not come on, she just went off. So I said fuck it, I am not gonna mess around w/ her removing the programs, they are for OUR safety, so boom, password done. Created a new profile for her to use that she can password protect if it makes her feel good or whatever, but eh... she would rather do what I just went through here and talked about. Lovely lady, really.
I am one lucky guy.

Rant done I guess. Who knows what will actually happen. I suspect that she probably won't do anything, but who knows. I told her I would love to see her explain to our families that we are getting a divorce because I changed the password on her computer. I will continue to update this thread, as I see that it may be somewhat comical for some, and maybe some of the veterans can help me keep my family together. But I think it's kinda like trying to reason w/ someone that is a terrorist hell bent on blowing you up w/ a suicide bomb jacket.
I am sure it is going to be a long ass thread, because every single day, it's something different, so I will have plenty to talk about. If it pisses any of yous off, and you don't like to hear about it, just don't read it I guess. Try to save the flaming for someone else, I get enough in real life. But I would really be open to honestly discussing this stuff and getting some advice. Ultimately, she can behave however she wants, as long as I get to be w/ my son. Sooner or later she will fuck up I am sure, and if not, then I will be free in 13 years.

I didnt read the whole thread and dont know if this has been suggested already, but the best way to get back at her would be to to post some naked pics of her on the internet, preferrably is hardcore sex acts

 

[whodair]

bros before hoes

bitches is snitches...

 

[IE2KS_KUSH]

Wow
First, I have to say I feel a whole shit ton better about everything. It is gonna take a freaking month to pass out all the +rep to all of you.
I don't know what will happen in the end. But I am going to start trying to play smarter not harder. I hope that at some point she will do something that I can document and use to keep my son w/ me. I believe that we need to divorce. I have about 60ish days to wait before I can file, it's the law here, since we just moved back. I really appreciate every single person that responded, I am really taking all of your advice to heart. If it is possible to work things out then I will, but I am going to just start living w/ the assumption that I will be filing for divorce soon. I don't want my son to live through this hell. He will understand. I will always be his father, and I will always be there for him. I am going to just tell her, I am leaving, leave, and then see if that maybe jerks her back down to earth and makes her realize that I am not going to sit around and let her play games w/ my sons future and mine. Make her understand that she really does not have anything on me, and that her threats do not mean shit to me. Maybe this will force her to turn over a new leaf, maybe not, either way, I will be preparing to file for divorce, and fight for custody of my son. I am done giving her the power over me. It's a new day.
All of your advice has really hit me hard, I wish I could say thank you to all of you, and I have more to say, but literally, my son is all over me and wants to play so I'm gonna go do just that.
I truly appreciate each and every one of you, it helps me lift up my head a little higher, and put some kind of plan into focus, and see through the fog and see that down the road there may indeed be a better day for both my son and myself.
Thank you. I will let you all know how my sit down goes w/ her, when I tell her that I am leaving and will be filing for divorce in the near future and that we should go ahead and start living our lives as if we are already divorced.
I can't describe how it makes me feel to have read all your advice, and all the exp. that you have related to me. I love this place.

 

[Kiffen]

Do you know any pig farmers?

 

[sackoweed]

i cant stand her either.. She is a spitter.. peace.

sack

 

[Lazyman]

LOL at Kiffen.

IE2Ks, you'll be fine, go play with your son, just having some self-determinism (not letting someone else make the rules) and seeing a way through can do wonders for your self esteem. Don't worry too much about the past, look forward and you'll find a replacement mom for your son when you least expect it. Chin up mate!

 

[Ipsissimus]

with a crazy wife remember if you move out, even though you may own the house you cannot come on the property without being invited. I know a guy who came to pick up his little daughter for the weekend and he got into it with his older daughter, and then her boyfriend and his friends beat the guy up, and he's the only one in trouble. apparently being on the premise provoked the violence.

 

[Kola Radical]

American women are impossible to please. They're fine for a while but eventually they all turn into my mother. It's a friggin' nightmare.

Hang in there, bra. Ex-wives are like bad cars. Everyone has had at least one.

But you can always trade up!

 

[whiterabbit9]

Good luck bro, you seem like a level headed guy.
Sorry to hear about your shit, it will get better.

You are not alone for sure.

 

[♥Mo♥]

Wow
First, I have to say I feel a whole shit ton better about everything. It is gonna take a freaking month to pass out all the +rep to all of you.
I don't know what will happen in the end. But I am going to start trying to play smarter not harder. I hope that at some point she will do something that I can document and use to keep my son w/ me. I believe that we need to divorce. I have about 60ish days to wait before I can file, it's the law here, since we just moved back. I really appreciate every single person that responded, I am really taking all of your advice to heart. If it is possible to work things out then I will, but I am going to just start living w/ the assumption that I will be filing for divorce soon. I don't want my son to live through this hell. He will understand. I will always be his father, and I will always be there for him. I am going to just tell her, I am leaving, leave, and then see if that maybe jerks her back down to earth and makes her realize that I am not going to sit around and let her play games w/ my sons future and mine. Make her understand that she really does not have anything on me, and that her threats do not mean shit to me. Maybe this will force her to turn over a new leaf, maybe not, either way, I will be preparing to file for divorce, and fight for custody of my son. I am done giving her the power over me. It's a new day.
All of your advice has really hit me hard, I wish I could say thank you to all of you, and I have more to say, but literally, my son is all over me and wants to play so I'm gonna go do just that.
I truly appreciate each and every one of you, it helps me lift up my head a little higher, and put some kind of plan into focus, and see through the fog and see that down the road there may indeed be a better day for both my son and myself.
Thank you. I will let you all know how my sit down goes w/ her, when I tell her that I am leaving and will be filing for divorce in the near future and that we should go ahead and start living our lives as if we are already divorced.
I can't describe how it makes me feel to have read all your advice, and all the exp. that you have related to me. I love this place.

Glad to hear some info. here has been helpful to you as there have been a few good suggestions. I have many kids and have been married a few times myself. Currently married and happy with over a decade under my belt. I may be way off but every time I have seen your situation, and I have seen it a few times, there is always more to it than meets the eye. I would guess at some point in time from moving from your location and then back again there is some sort of relationship between your wife and her work. Meaning a different bed partner. It may sound ridiculous and not possible but if you do some checking I bet you will get to the root of the evil. My bet is your wife is having an on/off relationship with someone at her work and her emotions are all goofed up. Classic symptoms, check it out thouroughly. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[stonedu]

Hey man sorry to hear that. I know how you feel. I've been married 8 years and with my wife 14 years and we have a 6.5 year old boy. There have been very bad times and I had the same thoughts as you. I even told her once that "I couldn't wait till the day our son went to college, because I was moving out the next day." I'll put my 2 cents in even though you really didn't ask for it. Ask her to go to the doctor and see if she can get on zoloft or something similar. I would never use it and I would never put my son on a prescription, but she is on a very low dosage and I can't say things are perfect, but she is a lot more "normal". For a few days a month when she has pms she turns into her old bat shit crazy self, but most of the time she can pass for sane now. Worth a shot? What do you have to lose?

 

[MMAJAY]

Its a shame but anytime you get in front of a judge the he or she is on drugs allways comes up. Every judge knows this is a tactic to get custody of children or make the other look bad.