My Wife, I Hate Her.

[imnotcrazy]

Well, my take on it is:

#1: You had better stop smoking, clean you place of any "questionable" items (seeds, cuttings, buds).... You have to recognize that the court system 99% of the time sides with the woman in these situations to begin with. And, if she is as you say (no offense but hearing one side of the story, there are ALWAYS some half truths IME) she WILL use anything and everything to keep you out of your son's life.

#2: You are DONE with growing for as long as you want to be involved in you child's life. California or any of the other med. states CAN NOT protect you from the DEA/Feds. IMO, from what you are saying, EXPECT at some point in the future a LEO w/ Search Warrant in hand to come knocking at your door.

#3: Regardless of you opinion of the woman, NEVER degrade or slander her in front of your child once you are separated... If she bad mouths you in front of the kid, recognize that kids are pretty damn smart and he'll see and wonder why "Mom really bad mouths my pop, but he only worries about how I am doing..... What's with that???"

 

[imnotcrazy]

Well, my take on it is:

#1: You had better stop smoking, clean you place of any "questionable" items (seeds, cuttings, buds).... You have to recognize that the court system 99% of the time sides with the woman in these situations to begin with. And, if she is as you say (no offense but hearing one side of the story, there are ALWAYS some half truths IME) she WILL use anything and everything to keep you out of your son's life.

#2: You are DONE with growing for as long as you want to be involved in you child's life. California or any of the other med. states CAN NOT protect you from the DEA/Feds. IMO, from what you are saying, EXPECT at some point in the future a LEO w/ Search Warrant in hand to come knocking at your door.

#3: Regardless of you opinion of the woman, NEVER degrade or slander her in front of your child once you are separated... If she bad mouths you in front of the kid, recognize that kids are pretty damn smart and he'll see and wonder why "Mom really bad mouths my pop, but he only worries about how I am doing..... What's with that???". Just SHOW him that you care 'bout him and he'll know, regardless of what his mom says, what the truth is.

 

[nycKid]

IE2KS KUSH, I'll drive your bronco down the freeway for you!
nycKID

 

[kaotic]

Don't drag it out. Take the initiative. Thats one of my regrets. Your son will be better off without the tension. It doesn't matter what you do you can't hide it from him. I've got both my kids now and she doesn't get the opporotunity to ruin them now. Make sure you've got your ducks in a row before doing anything though, haste makes waste.

 

[NYCDiesel]

Why did you wait so long, now your kid is 5, hm. You need a lot of explain to do, to your son it"s gonna be though one i feel for you .Get divorced man

 

[CherChezLaGhost]

Feel your pain KUSH. Last summer my lady took my 3 kids and moved 3 hrs away. I went from bein an everyday dad to only seein my kids every other weekend. won't lie it is hard as shit but with paitience things will work out. For me my oldest son decided he wanted to come back and live with me. I go thru phases as far as my feelings about my kids mom. I still love her and we are able to communicate and be cordial. Sometimes it hurts the kids worse to see mom and dad arguin and always fighting too. You gotta ask yourself is stayin together good for your son too. Not sayin thats your situation but I see it all the time with myself and some of my homies. But either way don't do anything stupid cause then you jeopardize seein your lil man altogether and I know you dont want that. But hold your head and turn to good ol Mary Jane when things get real hard! She damn sure helped me through!! Peace and love from La Ghost

 

[BudGood]

Damn, sorry to hear that bro. I've noticed you talking about cutting womens heads off a lot lately, now I know why... I went through some similar, but different shit. Maybe I can help...

I started having problems with my sons mom at around 24-25, my son was 5-6 when we started having problems. Similar stuff, the threats, using my son against me, threaten to turn me in, etc. Now that I think about it, I really was a prick to her quite a bit, for many different reasons, we had already been together 9-10 years (got together at 15, my son was born when I was 19) and had started to fall into routines, kinda got to not really liking each other, which turned into really not liking each other. The screaming and shit always sucked, but I would say we might have split much sooner if not for my son. Eventually, an ex-friend of mine caught wind of us having trouble and decided to stake his claim. I beat dude silly a few times for it, but I got over it because we were splitting up anyway. Still had to kick his ass on principle.

When she found out I had moved in my new girlfriend about 8 months later, she called me, begging me back, wanting me to kick my new girl out and move her back in. I told her no, my new girl had done nothing to deserve getting kicked out, especially at Christmas time (she was an absolute hottie, amazing in bed, cool at first, turned out to be really mean and psycho...but that was a few years later...another story for another day).

Well, sadness turned into anger, so what did she do? A few weeks later, I get served with court papers. She wanted full custody, no visitation for me, from us doing 50/50 (a week with me, a week with her). She had gotten the best law firm in town dealing with family matters. FUK! I had no money whatsoever at the time, so I got prepared to pull a Perry Mason, borrowed some very expensive clothes from a well to do friend, and represented myself. She wanted 100%, I simply asked for things to remain the same at 50/50, because I know a child needs both his parents, my son loves both of us very much, and no matter how mad I got, I would never try to take him away from her. She, on the other hand, being the hurt pissed off woman, used her new mans money to try and get what she wanted (she has since apologized, I might add).

The end result? I argued passionately, and represented myself quite well, IMO, presenting myself quite intelligently, appearing more prepared and respectful (her lawyer showed up looking like he fell off a turnip truck, lol). Anyhow, they brought up the asswhuppings I had given her new fiance, I admitted it to the judge, looked him square in the eye, and said "I don't know many guys, that given my situation, WOULDN'T have kicked his ass!". I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh, I saw the twinkle in his eye. After that statement, I said "Just because I got into a couple of scuffles doesn't mean I'm not a good father, quite the contrary. I love my son, and want to be involved heavily in his life. Nowadays thats a rare thing, and she wants to deny me that???"

So when it was all said and done, I got around 45% time with my son, due to my work schedule at the time, he would have given me 50 had I not been working the hours I was. Being that she wanted 100% and I wanted 50%, I felt I won.

How has my son handled all this? Admirably. He's had a few problems at school, kinda like acting out, but harmless stuff, i.e. talking at inappropriate times, making people laugh, etc. He is smart as a whip, got good marks through elementary and obviously one of his teachers thought so too, they nominated him for People to People, and want him to go to Australia in Summer 2010. I'm going to help him raise the $$$ so he can go, and I just may go with him as a chaperone on my own dime.

The point of all this? If you love your son, don't give up your rights so easily, fight for him! And that regardless of you and his mom being together, he can still grow up a normal, healthy child. Maybe even moreso without you and his mama at each others throats. Hell, my ex and I are really good friends now, which is good for my son, helps us to be more effective parents. Life is really strange sometimes. Anyhow, hope that gives you some kinda insight. Peace!

 

[The End Is Near]

That's it. I'm jerking off and living alone for the rest of my life (as if I needed an excuse).

 

[ddrew]

Clean your place out and file for divorce.
Staying together like this at each others throats is not doing anything good for your son.
Get divorced, file for joint custody, and get on with your lives.

 

[Marywanna]

Don't fuck up your kid.............walk away from that bad news,and start over. All women aren't like that! Sorry you have to go thru this nasty stuff,dude. Marywanna

 

[Leafmold]

Hi IE2KS Kush,
I went through something like that years ago. All i can say is for me I got out! I told my kids n showed them that they were still very much loved by the both of us, and that we could not live together anymore, and that they were not the reason my wife n I split. Two unhappy people fighting n agueing living together does not make for a happy place for your son.
As for the custody thing I cant say as I live in the UK, and I'm not sure of your laws. But from reading what "ChronJohn" has said you have as much custody rights as your wife.
So if its a war zone I would leave as hard as that will be, but as i said it worked for me.
Best regards

 

[The End Is Near]

Just read the rest of the thread. Not trying to be presumptuous and it's probably too late to matter, but do you think she could have pulled a Maury, ie, he's not really your son?

 

[IGROWMYOWN]

When a man gets married he hands the keys to his life to another person.

You have to decide if you trust this person with that responsibility.


I am starting the proceedings for a divorce right now. Her only goal is to force me to either give her every cent I earn or waste every cent fighting to keep it.

Married two times, never again. I will not even live with a woman again.

Im glad somebody else figured it out... nobody to snitch about your grow, nobody to bitch at you, so many positive points about living alone. Get a Bullpen date multiple woman but never ever let them move in as a matter of fact go to their place. I feel sorry for this guy and his kid hope everything works out bud.... just a question If you already get the milk why buy the cow?? Guys stay single, stay happy

 

[danny karey]

Hey..........Im going threw the same shit too.......Ive decided to stick around for my son though me and his mom fight all the time.....The minute my ex fucks shit up Im gonna take her to court and get custody....That is what keeps me here, that dream. My little man told his mom the other day that he wants to live with me know and he doesn't want to live with her...LOL I didn't say anything to him about living with me or anything, I think it's just that he see's mom is a nut-case....Kids are smart as hell, they catch everything.

But your right, the kid is the biggest loser in a seperation, it's not really fare to the kid, he didn't do anything wrong and none of it is his fault...........Sucks anyway ya think about it.

I wish you the best of luck bro, hope it works out for ya, but if your chick tries to tell you that you can't see your son, you take her to court man.........A judge is gonna think she's an asshole for it, and award you visitations, it's not much, but it's somthing.

 

[genkisan]

Jebus...wot a nightmare.


I am gonna give my wonderful, loving wife an extra big hug and kiss tonite, and thank her profusely for not being a psycho nutjob.......

 

[CharlesSprkleaf]

stay safe bro...

 

[m0ff99]

I've been thru this shit and it aint good!! I left my wife when my daughter was 1 year old!! Arguments were always over money and the fact i was a dope smoker.......shit goes round my friend.......when i left she got with a guy who was into heroin,inevitably my kids mum also then got into that muck.......4 years later shes a smack whore and my daughter now lives with me!!! My daughter loves her mother dearly but witnessed alot of shit and knows she's better with dad.......as for future women,i'm single and not lookin to tie down with anyone, i can wait til my daughters 18 before i ruin my life for another woman!! Tell you guys what, WhiskyTango420 seems to be one lucky guy with his wife,she even helps him grow.......shit man where do women like that live...lol!!!

 

[sparkjumper]

God man..As a single person reading that was like..I dont know..The worst fuckin thing I've ever heard of.How can you live like that?Do you really believe that the best thing for a child is a mother and father regardless of the situation?Dont believe man because it isnt true at all.Plenty of people are raised by one parent and come out just fine.Man I could have found myself in my own man made prison except for a lucky break.

 

[LolaGal]

Hey Kush, sorry to hear about the situation.

Here's a couple of hard questions to consider.

Sounds like she was in a relationship with another when you met and she got pregnant.

Have you done DNA on your son? Are you sure he belongs to you?

She sounds like the type who would pass another's kid off on you and not think twice.

I know you love the kid no matter what, but you should make sure he DOES belong to you.

She may be feeling guilty that you are staying with her when she has lied about the father, and this is leading to all the fights.

Perhaps she knows that if you found out you weren't daddy, you would be gone.

 

[Mrs.Babba]

Sorry your relationship is over Kush, but it doesnt mean your relationship with your son is. It might even make you 2 closer to see what kind of person she really is. Not all women are psycho! You have tried and it didnt workout, you 2 need to move on and try to make the happiest,safest place for your son. Just cuz you arnt married doesnt mean you cant watch your son grow up. Its a the end of one chapter in your life and starting another, never know whats around the corner!..try not to get too bummed, think of it as a new beginning, for you and your son