Man, I don't know if I even want to do this anymore

[Skip]

quit

I have to agree with this.

Not everyone is cut out for growing. Just like cannabis isn't for everyone.

I watched a neighbor grow three shitty outdoor crops in a row. He admits he's a "commercial" grower who puts quantity over quality. And his quality sucked so bad no one would buy his last crop.

He does everything right, until the end, when he refuses to let the crop finish itself off, and keeps adding ferts/nutes until a heavy frost hits (mid-december last year!) All he got was larfy leafy crap, with barely a decent bud to be found (he also screwed up a few plants I asked him to grow for me). None of it was smokeable or enjoyable.

IMO, my neighbor shouldn't be growing, esp. now that he just got busted with years of shitty weed on hand. Losing everything, probably his house too.

If you can't do it right, esp after years of trying, give up!

 

[al70]

Don't give up��

 

[bunns]

Tasty as fuck?

 

[theHIGHlander]

The problem with taking a break is that since I've been out of prison, I've BARELY been treading water. I've literally been living off of 2kW for the past 2 years. I've recently doubled that which helps tremendously, but there have been nothing but little problems that affect the crop in big ways and I'm barely seeing any difference in that one yet.

I'm getting married next summer and future wife has an elaborate honeymoon planned for Peru, Chile, and Argentina, that will be the next break I see myself getting.

I really just needed a place to bitch and sob for a second. I appreciate everyone taking the time to read this BS and trying to help

Dude give yourself a slap...
You say life is shit...yeh it is..it's up to to make the best of it..and you on the right track...your grow ( some people can only dream of that)
Your getting married ( dam homie thats a good thing)...and she let's you grow= nice find lol....she got a big honeymoon in mind .sweet you know what to do hear .....get ya fucking game face on..you got the skill and know how so get it done OK....
Keep on keeping on homie....one more thing. you say you suck at cloning hahahah. Meny people do...I know it might sound silly but all us growers over think it most of the time and that's what fucks you up. Take it back to basics and maybe go and re-read some threads on hear about cloneing eg .(icmag) and sharpen up your tools ..my mom sayed something that will stick with be forever...
........you learn something knew everyday .....

Keep it green
Highlander

 

[stoned-trout]

growing is easier than being married......yeehaw...good luck your gonna need it

 

[cocktail frank]

Life isn't supposed to be easy for most people.
Some are fortunate, but would you really want it that way?
The struggle is real and defines you as a man.
Accomplishments don't mean a thing, unless you earn them.
You have to stay hungry, because lifes competition is never full!!

I work ungodly hours and long work weeks, any shift, any day.
I don't have a choice, we all have people who depend on us and our jobs are to provide.
Does it get depressing? Fuck yeah
Do i ever feel like getting up in the morning? every day? Fuck no
Do i just want to quit sometimes and cry myself to sleep? Constantly.
Can i? Will i? No, i can't.
Find your purpose and nail it bro!!

I will also agree w/ oceangrownkush, load up on some L.
There's good shit around and it can be very spiritual.
I was always an angry person, a real negative nancy.
If it weren't for all the friends i've met over the years on icmag, i wouldn't have been so educated on the theraputic benefits of psychadelics.
A few real heavy L trips and your subconscious self will change for the better.
I have so much more clarity in life, finally feel like i have direction.
I also suffer from almost non existant depression these days, my anger is all about gone.
You have to identify your pain, embrace it and only then can you heal.
We're all human and subject to ups and downs.

Get your mind right and everything else falls into place quite easily.
You can do it, we're all here for you and love you.

 

[Lapides]

Hey folks, just a little update.

I am VERY close to getting myself out of the weed selling business.


While I was locked up, I learned how to play Texas Hold'em poker to help pass the time. I have been a profitable blackjack player for years and have always been good at games in general. Within a couple weeks as a complete beginner, I no longer had to order commissary because I was winning all the soups, soap, shampoo, and cigarettes I could possibly need from the other idiot inmates at the poker table.

When I got out and played at the casino and online I realized that I had a lot to learn. I won sometimes, but I knew I had a lot to learn if I really wanted to be a good, consistently winning player.


So back a few months ago when I was in my funk and not really feeling the weed selling thing anymore, I looked back into poker. I read everything I could and started playing the micro-stakes ($.05/.10) online. Within 6 weeks or so I was crushing the micro stakes. One of the things I read was that if you can crush the micros online, then live $1/2 would be cake.

Well fuck me, they were NOT lying. About 4 weeks ago I finished 9th in a tournament of about 220 people. It was an $80 buy in bounty tournament, I got my buy in back by knocking 8 people out and finishing 9th netted me $267.

I continued practicing the micro stakes online. Probably close to, if not more, than 8 hours a day, playing 2-4 tables at a time.

Since that tournament, I've been back live at the casino 4 times. I broke even once, I left after an hour after the dipshit waitress didn't bring me a Cherry Coke. The other 3 times I won, $220, $575, and $300. Each time I was there for less than 3 hours.

It is insane how easily these people are willing to let go of their ENTIRE STACK for having second or even 3rd best hand. These "sharks" play AT LEAST 50% of every hand they are dealt and just continually get themselves in trouble, especially if I happen to be in the pot

It's awesome. The casino is 30 minutes away. Just one $2 bridge toll I have to pay one way. I can 'work' whenever I want. The income potential is literally limitless. Best of all, it's fucking legal.

I really think I can get used to this.

 

[Lapides]

I just realized this is starting to read like an old Snype thread.

Poker is NOT the same as roulette. There's a reason they don't have a World Series of Roulette.

 

[Mikell]

For fuck sakes next you'll be giving acid to vagrants and inviting them to live in your home.

 

[_tessarecting]

Have you ever read Tobacco Road?

 

[Lapides]

Have you ever read Tobacco Road?

I haven't.

I just read a summary of it and doesn't really sound like my cup of tea.

I'm curious how/if this applies?

 

[_tessarecting]

Its a funny old book. Farmers have had hardships for a long time. It talks about the spring fever people feel in the spring when they dont have their seeds planted for whatever reason, mostly economic.

The grass is always greener dude.
Maybe save up to move to a med / rec state so you can be less paranoid and more confident you sound stressed.

Can't rely on gambling either.

 

[Lapides]

Can't rely on gambling either.

People can and do pay their bills and much MUCH more with poker. FACT.

I have the smarts and talent for the game. I am going to be a professional poker player and you WILL see me on TV within 4 years.

I said the same thing 20 years ago BEFORE my first grow. "I'm going to be a professional pot grower." 9 months later I quit my job as a mortgage loan officer and was growing the best pot around. Take a look at either of the threads in my signature.

I have the same feelings and passion for poker.

 

[_tessarecting]

Don't you think most people who dream of being on television never end up on television?

 

[mojave green]

Played a few tourneys in Vegas and Laughlin. And just like growin weed, everybody thinks they are better than they really are.

See ya in the funny papers lappy!

 

[aridbud]

In the end the odds are with 'the house'. Don't kid yourself!

If you are on a budget, barely making ends meet.... WHY is the honeymoon excursion out of the country? Can't you compromise with your betrothed? It's not the 'vacation' following "I do!"...marriage is long term! And that comes with debt, with working together, experiencing good, bad, indifferent. Why set yourself up for failure with a lavish honeymoon?! Geeze.

It's fine to win at cards sometimes...just don't bank on it.

I did very well on the slots for several years, (>$45k x 6 yrs.) and stopped when I saw the scales starting to tip back to the casino. Taking a break on that. Pit bosses are going to be watching you like a hawk. They can oust you for no real reason....then what are you going to do?

I only play ever so often. And I happen to win if I don't play often. Like today, (for instance) I walked away with $2,047 (went in w/ $300). I won't go back until next month, maybe Sept. and use the WIN for tangible goods.

Sounds like you have several unresolved issues (growing, a steady job, finances and 'banking' on casinos, feeble mind set)- not trying to clock you...it's what I read and interpret. Do what others suggested...exercise, be kind to yourself, let the grow thing slide a bit. After a reprieve, you'll be back in the game, feeling refreshed vs. burnt out.

Maybe grow a garden (there's still time before frost), fill your pantry or freezer with food, canned or frozen. That's a plus and a savings right there!

Take a break from cloning. Once it's time, you'll do fine.....but right now it certainly sounds like you are in the manic part of bi-polar.

Settle down, get grounded.

 

[Lapides]

Played a few tourneys in Vegas and Laughlin. And just like growin weed, everybody thinks they are better than they really are.

See ya in the funny papers lappy!

Go fuck yourself you miserable, friendless old man.

In the end the odds are with 'the house'. Don't kid yourself!

I'm not playing the house when I play poker. Don't kid yourself that you know what the fuck you're talking about.

 

[mojave green]

Go fuck yourself you miserable, friendless old man.

Guess I won't be getting that wedding invitation then.

 

[Lapides]

Guess I won't be getting that wedding invitation then.

I don't know what made you think you even might.

Try as you may, you will never have a seat at the cool kids' table.

 

[DuskrayTroubador]

Working in a casino, that "dipshit waitress" probably earns reliably the same amount of money that you walked away from the table with. The service industry is full of very bright people (many have degrees), and forgetting someone's drink doesn't really say anything about that waitress. Your reaction to that event (as well as some of your overly defensive/aggressive responses here do say something about you.

We all, as a community of good-hearted stoners, wish you the best. I hope you're as good at poker as you say you are. I also hope that the lack of stress from switching your source of income does you some good, because you need to slow your roll a little bit; by that I mean you need to calm down and approach the world a little more patiently.

Some people here are skeptical of your newfound gig. It's a healthy skepticism; they know that gambling has very negative connotations of addiction and loss, and they're voicing their concerns because they wish you the best. Go for it, there is a great deal of strategy in poker (obviously), but remember that it is not without risk: luck deals the cards.

I wish you the best. That may entail financial growth via gambling, but I assure you that whatever growth you make as a person will be of much more benefit. If you really like playing poker, go for it. You definitely need to adjust your attitude a little bit though. Go for a walk every day, exercise a little bit, maybe even meditate. Playing poker 8 hours a day (no matter how much you like it) definitely is not the healthiest thing, mentally or physically.

Approaching the world more patiently and openly will make you much a much better person overall. I'm sure it will help with poker too.

TLDR: Eat some LSD the next time it finds you.