T
TrichyTrichy
well said!
-
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Getting bullied= Commiting S*icide?
- Thread starter med_breeder
- Start date
Me too...I moved in 9th grade and went through HELL...until I kicked a guys ass...then 95% of it stopped. There were still the "tough kids"...so I joined them. Fuck getting fucked with...
It's not right for a kid to have to put up with bullying. If there IS a habitual bully, they should be dealt with. But new "bullying" laws are a mistake. We don't need more "hate crimes" with punishments far more extreme than the behavior (Cannabis laws anyone?), but we do need to get rid of "problem people" in schools.
Every school has those one or two kids...the kids that need to go. The kids that are a bad influence for everyone.
Not sure what point you're trying to make, but at least you are amusing a few...
A
arcticsun
Hi, I work in mental health care. Im bound by a vow of secrecy so i cant go into too much detail, but i can tell you that i work with severely sick mental patients of all kinds, and that they are security patients. That means that they have a court verdict that says they are a danger either to them selves or to society.
We have a radically different view of human value and personal integrity here then you have, i can tell you that!
Suicide brother, do you know how horrible everything surrounding suicide is? The time before and after, the job for everyone affected by it, how it affects those who has to clean it up and those left behind? Do you know what it feels like to be a family member of a sick and depressed person? Have you lived to see blood and tears, sorrow and fear.. and i mean lived to feel it affect you, the horror of death and pain?
Ive met a lot of people with shocking stories, stories that would turn your gut inside out if you had to sit face to face and talk with these people. I face psychotic people every day i turn up to work, ive been through plenty of physical episodes, thats normal and its something i try to avoid at all costs. Empathy is my greatest weapon of protection even tho we do train self defense at work regularly. I dont even know where to begin to explain this to you, severe depression is something anyone can end up facing in their lifetime, suicide is something that can strike in any family. To have someone there, with you, that tells you that you have a human value and a human dignity, to have a society there that tells you that you belong is the life saver in these situations. But for society to say that we do not care, or even worse, to say good riddance to seeing these people go would be a horrible horrible waste of human resources. Because as japan said, anyone that has been affected by such a horrible thing in their lives as suicide would know that these people are people with value.
My patients are not only a diagnosis, they are also people with amazing talents and gifts, some are musicians with incredible skill, others are genius at technical things or skilled hand crafters.. I have had some fantastic experiences with these people, real gifts and knowledge about the value of life and death has been given to me by them and i am eternally grateful. A family looses a family member to suicide, do you think that father doesnt leave a hole after himself? Do you think these people are worthless, do you think there is no family in despair left after him???? A workplace without one of their skilled workers, or a band without their best guitar player?? Think about this now, do you know about any great artists maybe that has killed themselves or been severely depressed?
Nirvana - Come As You Are: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YyDg9tT0Vw
Kurt Cobain.. Ernest Hemingway.. Hunter S Thompson, just to mention some people off the top of my head that killed themselves.
People have many reasons for committing suicide, some have a chemical imbalance in their body so they get depressed, others has experienced horrible things.. many reasons...
I hear many say that killing yourself is not rational, but for many people, death is not only rational but it is also natural. Taking your own life is a way of taking control of your own life, its rational for people that has never been in control of their life or lost it.
I could go on about what you perceive as "soft science", its really called mental health care.. but you really should know better yourself so ill not over-elaborate... this is Arcticsun wishing you good mental health
Last edited:
I like to debate more than most and I value your opinions, however speaking about closing threads or censoring other members is a very sensitive topic; especially with ones that don't hold the power.
I can understand how some members may see your posts as just more than constructive debate when it includes a hint of carrying a stick (I can shut this tread, but here is what I think......)
Some could even think they were being bullied on the internet and shouldn't post an opposing view to the MOD who just threatened use (or reminded the community) of their greater power.
I really wish free speech was more respected in this community.
Geez relax...it wasn't a threat and I didn't close it...freaking hell. So be it. Everyone else can make whatever comments they want, in any forum and it's all a ok. If I make 1 little post in 1 little thread in the Den it gets blown up into something ridiculous. You win. You won't be hearing from me anymore. Apparently you can only post if you don't have some silly tag by your name. Have at it.
I thought I made my point concisely 
How do you know how many are/are not amused?
Which kind of confirms my first statement in this thread.
p.s. You're not the only mod and it wasn't a personal attack
How do you know how many are/are not amused?
Which kind of confirms my first statement in this thread.
p.s. You're not the only mod and it wasn't a personal attack
Hi, I work in mental health care. Im bound by a vow of secrecy so i cant go into too much detail, but i can tell you that i work with severely sick mental patients of all kinds, and that they are security patients. That means that they have a court verdict that says they are a danger either to them selves or to society.
We have a radically different view of human value and personal integrity here then you have, i can tell you that!
Suicide brother, do you know how horrible everything surrounding suicide is? The time before and after, the job for everyone affected by it, how it affects those who has to clean it up and those left behind? Do you know what it feels like to be a family member of a sick and depressed person? Have you lived to see blood and tears, sorrow and fear.. and i mean lived to feel it affect you, the horror of death and pain?
Ive met a lot of people with shocking stories, stories that would turn your gut inside out if you had to sit face to face and talk with these people. I face psychotic people every day i turn up to work, ive been through plenty of physical episodes, thats normal and its something i try to avoid at all costs. Empathy is my greatest weapon of protection even tho we do train self defense at work regularly. I dont even know where to begin to explain this to you, severe depression is something anyone can end up facing in their lifetime, suicide is something that can strike in any family. To have someone there, with you, that tells you that you have a human value and a human dignity, to have a society there that tells you that you belong is the life saver in these situations. But for society to say that we do not care, or even worse, to say good riddance to seeing these people go would be a horrible horrible waste of human resources. Because as japan said, anyone that has been affected by such a horrible thing in their lives as suicide would know that these people are people with value.
My patients are not only a diagnosis, they are also people with amazing talents and gifts, some are musicians with incredible skill, others are genius at technical things or skilled hand crafters.. I have had some fantastic experiences with these people, real gifts and knowledge about the value of life and death has been given to me by them and i am eternally grateful. A family looses a family member to suicide, do you think that father doesnt leave a hole after himself? Do you think these people are worthless, do you think there is no family in despair left after him???? A workplace without one of their skilled workers, or a band without their best guitar player?? Think about this now, do you know about any great artists maybe that has killed themselves or been severely depressed?
Nirvana - Come As You Are: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YyDg9tT0Vw
Kurt Cobain.. Ernest Hemingway.. Hunter S Thompson, just to mention some people off the top of my head that killed themselves.
People have many reasons for committing suicide, some have a chemical imbalance in their body so they get depressed, others has experienced horrible things.. many reasons...
I hear many say that killing yourself is not rational, but for many people, death is not only rational but it is also natural. Taking your own life is a way of taking control of your own life, its rational for people that has never been in control of their life or lost it.
I could go on.. but you really should know better yourself so ill not over-elaborate... this is Arcticsun wishing you good mental health
I can empathize with you and everyone involved...so FIX IT! You CALL yourselves a "science", yet what has changed? We have the same problems, in the same numbers...even more in some cases. WTF are you guys doing? Not fixing people is the answer.
Talking doesn't fix chemical/electrical imbalances.
I like to debate more than most and I value your opinions, however speaking about closing threads or censoring other members is a very sensitive topic; especially with ones that don't hold the power.
I can understand how some members may see your posts as just more than constructive debate when it includes a hint of carrying a stick (I can shut this tread, but here is what I think......)
Some could even think they were being bullied on the internet and shouldn't post an opposing view to the MOD who just threatened use (or reminded the community) of their greater power.
I really wish free speech was more respected in this community.
I have to admit kharmaGirl, it was trollish. And it was like mom and dad walking into the room...
Morons make me want to kill threads
It was the THREAD you threatened. No you didn't kill it.
I merely wished to explain to you how some of this community could perceive this as bulling. I personally enjoy hearing from you and wish you would embrace my main point.
Free speech should be respected even revered, especially in a freedom loving community like cannabis growers and smokers.
I guess mods aren't afforded the luxury of speaking freely, since they make 'policy' on the fly for the rest of us in terms of what is acceptable fodder/conversation?
Held to a higher standard?
Could present the appearance of impropriety?
Just throwing out a few here, not married to any.
This is a very long post with several detailed parts of understanding what and how and why's??
My only sister was bullied and was beaten so bad at the age of 11 she lost an ovary
and almost bleed to death with many deep Internal Injuries and was in the hospital for over 26 days and she has never fully gotten over this trauma.
Back then in the late 70's bullying was not as bad as today but it is a very serious problem and nothing to over look and is a crime, the next time You see someone being Bullied what will You Do?????
Bullies
FS-570, February 1997
Laura DeHaan, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Child Development
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When I was a young boy, the bully called me names, stole my bicycle, forced me off the playground. He made fun of me in front of other children, forced me to turn over my lunch money each day, threatened to give me a black eye if I told adult authority figures. At different times I was subject to a wide range of degradation and abuse -- de-pantsing, spit in my face, forced to eat the playground dirt....To this day, their handprints, like a slap on the face, remain stark and defined on my soul."
Eric E. Rofes --
Making our Schools Safe for Sissies
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What bullying is
With all the focus that has surrounded teenage gangs and gun violence, it may be easy to forget that the teenage years are not the only times that children face violent behavior. In fact, aggressive behavior and bullying are even more common in elementary school than in junior and senior high! Some studies suggest that around 20 percent of all American children have been the victim of bullying at some point in elementary school, and about the same number have described themselves as engaging in some form of bullying behavior. Bullying can range from teasing, to stealing lunch money, to a group of students physically abusing a classmate.
Even though bullying is very similar to other forms of aggression, there can be some distinctive features.
The intention of bullying behavior is purposeful, rather than accidental
The goal is to actually gain control over another child through physical or verbal aggression.
Usually bullies make their attack without any real reason, other than they see their victim as an easy target. Bullies are usually more popular with their peers than children who are simply aggressive.
What bullying can look like in elementary school
Being a victim is the most common in second grade, and the likelihood of being bullied decreases each year after that. Bullies in elementary school are more likely to pick on children younger than themselves. Bullying is often very physical in nature, with open attacks of aggression being the most common. Boys are more likely to be doing the bullying, but girls and boys are equally likely to be victims.
What bullying can look like in junior high school
Bullies in junior high school are more likely to pick on people their same age, with boys more likely to be both bullies and victims. Girls, when they do bully, are more likely to verbally harass someone than be physical. Boys sometimes use physical attacks, but they are also more likely to threaten and harass one of their peers in a verbal way.
What it means to be a bully
Living in a society where wealth and power are admired, film heroes regularly beat up and kill others, and the weak and sick are often despised, it is no surprise that some children have learned to imitate these values. Research has shown that although bullies tend to have difficulty making friends, they do gain a certain level of popularity and peer status for their actions. It is possible that bullies may be enjoying more respect and admiration from their peers, and bullying behavior, especially among boys, can often be considered normal behavior.
Causes of bullying
Parental relationship
Bullies tend to come from families that are characterized as having little warmth or affection. These families also report trouble sharing their feelings and usually rate themselves as feeling less close to each other. Parent of bullies also tend to use inconsistent discipline and little monitoring of where their children are throughout the day. Sometimes parents of bullies have very punitive and rigid discipline styles, with physical punishment being very common. Bullies also report less feelings of closeness to their siblings.
School failure
Bullies are usually not model students. Very often they are not doing well in school and do not have good connections with their teachers.
Peer rejection
Researchers who are interested in how children form relationships with their peers have identified four categories that describe how children relate to peers, based on having children name children that they like as well as children that they don t like:
Popular children are those that many children say they like, and few children say that they dislike. These children have developed positive social and communication skills.
Controversial children are both actively liked and disliked by many of their peers. They tend to have good social skills, but also exhibit aggressive behavior. Class clowns often fit into this category.
Rejected children are actively disliked by many of their peers and well liked by few of their peers. They show high rates of conflict, aggression, and immature play, and they have trouble taking the perspective of another person. They also have a hard time solving problems without resorting to violence. Rejected children are often prone to delinquency and dropping out of school later.
Neglected children are seldom neither liked or disliked by their peers. Although they are very shy, and may have low self-esteem, many neglected children do very well in school and are able to develop friends as they approach adolescence.
Bullies come most often from the rejected category, but they sometimes are popular children as well. Victims can be selected from any category, although neglected children often are more likely to be victims.
What it means to be a victim
Unfortunately in recent years, our attitudes have changed about what it means to be a victim. Many parents and school officials are likely to blame victims of bullying for being weak and not being able to stand up for themselves. This, coupled with the fact that victims are usually warned by bullies not to tell anyone, makes it difficult for them to talk with parents and teachers.
Ten percent of children could be considered extreme victims who have been the victim of bullies at least once a week for a long period of time. These children are often considered younger, weaker, or sicker by their peers. Victims are just as likely to be boys as girls. They often report strong fears or dislike of going to school. These children often report closer feelings to parents and siblings, but whether this causes them to be victims or is simply how they cope with being bullied is unclear. Being labeled a victim is likely to follow children around from year to year. Most extreme victims report having few or no friends and being alone at recess and lunch.
Symptoms that a child might be a victim of bullying
acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction
becomes depressed loses interest in school work, or grades drop
loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep waits to use the
bathroom at home arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly
related to fears of being bullied at school) wants to carry a protection item,
such as a knife.
Consequences of bullying
Short term effects of being a victim
Being a victim is very stressful for children. Many children develop a strong dislike of going to school, especially times like recess or gym class. Many victims begin to distrust all their peers at school and have problems making friends. Extreme victims can develop depression or physical illness.
Long term effects of being a victim
The long term consequences of being a victim vary a good deal. Most victims of bullying do well in school and are able to make friends are they grow older. Most victims, especially if they receive support from adults important in their lives, survive the experience of being bullied without long term effects.
Short term effects of being a bully
Even though bullies are sometimes viewed positively by their peers, they rarely are capable of maintaining close friendships. They are usually not doing well in school and not well liked by their teachers.
Long term effects of being a bully
Bullying is a behavior that is very often one of the first steps to more serious problems. Unless some kind of intervention takes place, the aggression of bullying often leads to more serious acts of delinquency and criminal activity. Bullies are also more likely to use drugs and alcohol as adolescents.
Suggestions for working with bullies:
Work in small groups. It is often helpful to place bullies in groups with older children and have them engage in cooperative tasks. It will be necessary to provide a great deal of supervision.
Reinforce children each time they engage in some degree of caring or pro-social behavior. It will be easier to establish more appropriate rules for interaction after they learn that there are more positive ways to gain attention and affection.
Often children who are having a hard time relating to other children can learn some social skills with pets. Under close supervision, bullies may learn to care for and show affection to a dog or cat.
Work with families to determine ways they can show warmth and affection to their children, and seek to develop a more consistent set of discipline. Sometimes it is helpful for families to become more involved in community activities and become friends with other parents.
Suggestions for working with victims:
Often victims, particularly those who have been victimized many times, are withdrawn and are afraid of social interaction. These children often profit from social interactions with younger children, where they may be less afraid to open up or show some leadership.
Practice with kids some strategies of ways they can respond when being bullied. Help them identify times when they are likely to be harassed, and see if there are ways to avoid those situations. Determine the exact nature of the bullying behavior, and help them practice some things to say or do.
Here are some specific strategies:
Laugh or ignore comments or teasing. Bullies delight in you being scared
and getting a big reaction. Eventually they will leave you alone.
Tell them to buzz off or shout GO AWAY!! Say it as angrily as you can and walk away immediately. Practice in the mirror.
-- Stay with a crowd bullies usually pick on kids who are alone. Suggest that children walk to school or sit on the bus with someone who can protect them.
-- If you are alone with a crowd that picks on you, ask him or her why she is mean to you.
For both groups, it is helpful to pair them up with children who are neither bullies nor victims, as they can be great teachers of appropriate behavior.
What schools can do:
Get an accurate assessment of the problem. An anonymous survey is a very effective way to learn about the true nature of a problem at a particular school.
Maintain higher visibility. Most schools report that most of their bullying problems disappear when playgrounds, bathrooms, etc., are properly monitored. Supervising recess is especially important.
Have students develop class rules about bullying that are then consistently reinforced. It is important to start this in very early grades to gain a handle on this problem before it gets out of control.
Conduct in-service training for both teachers and parents. Stress that bullying is not just boys being boys or high spirited behavior but potentially damaging for both victims and bullies. Bullying is not something that people grow out of, but one of the first signs of more serious problems. It is also important to remember that verbal harassment can be just as scary and intimidating as physical attacks.
Have serious talks with bullies, and make them realize that you are aware of their behavior and are not going to tolerate it. It is also important to develop ways to help them learn more positive social skills.
What parents can do:
Create a safe environment for your children to tell you about being bullied. Many times kids are embarrassed to tell their parents what happened, thinking that their parents will blame them. Sometimes kids at school pick on other kids or say mean things to them. Does this ever happen to you at school?
Reinforce the idea that if they are being bullied, it is not their fault. Don't make your child feel like a wimp. The person that is picking on you is the one with a problem, not you. Bullies pick on people for no real reason, but it is just because they have problems of their own, not because of anything you have done.
Don t teach your kids to hit or fight back; it will only make things worse.
Here are five steps that are be good to suggest:
Ignore
Move away
Ask to stop
Tell firmly to stop
Tell an adult.
Notify teachers whenever an incident happens, be prepared to be persistent until some action is taken! Ask the teacher: Would it be possible to have the class get involved in a discussion about bullies, or to separate my child from those who are bothering them?
If your child is unwilling to report another child s behavior to a teacher, offer to make the complaint yourself. Stress that it can be done in a way that is confidential.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My only sister was bullied and was beaten so bad at the age of 11 she lost an ovary
and almost bleed to death with many deep Internal Injuries and was in the hospital for over 26 days and she has never fully gotten over this trauma.
Back then in the late 70's bullying was not as bad as today but it is a very serious problem and nothing to over look and is a crime, the next time You see someone being Bullied what will You Do?????
Bullies
FS-570, February 1997
Laura DeHaan, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Child Development
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When I was a young boy, the bully called me names, stole my bicycle, forced me off the playground. He made fun of me in front of other children, forced me to turn over my lunch money each day, threatened to give me a black eye if I told adult authority figures. At different times I was subject to a wide range of degradation and abuse -- de-pantsing, spit in my face, forced to eat the playground dirt....To this day, their handprints, like a slap on the face, remain stark and defined on my soul."
Eric E. Rofes --
Making our Schools Safe for Sissies
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What bullying is
With all the focus that has surrounded teenage gangs and gun violence, it may be easy to forget that the teenage years are not the only times that children face violent behavior. In fact, aggressive behavior and bullying are even more common in elementary school than in junior and senior high! Some studies suggest that around 20 percent of all American children have been the victim of bullying at some point in elementary school, and about the same number have described themselves as engaging in some form of bullying behavior. Bullying can range from teasing, to stealing lunch money, to a group of students physically abusing a classmate.
Even though bullying is very similar to other forms of aggression, there can be some distinctive features.
The intention of bullying behavior is purposeful, rather than accidental
The goal is to actually gain control over another child through physical or verbal aggression.
Usually bullies make their attack without any real reason, other than they see their victim as an easy target. Bullies are usually more popular with their peers than children who are simply aggressive.
What bullying can look like in elementary school
Being a victim is the most common in second grade, and the likelihood of being bullied decreases each year after that. Bullies in elementary school are more likely to pick on children younger than themselves. Bullying is often very physical in nature, with open attacks of aggression being the most common. Boys are more likely to be doing the bullying, but girls and boys are equally likely to be victims.
What bullying can look like in junior high school
Bullies in junior high school are more likely to pick on people their same age, with boys more likely to be both bullies and victims. Girls, when they do bully, are more likely to verbally harass someone than be physical. Boys sometimes use physical attacks, but they are also more likely to threaten and harass one of their peers in a verbal way.
What it means to be a bully
Living in a society where wealth and power are admired, film heroes regularly beat up and kill others, and the weak and sick are often despised, it is no surprise that some children have learned to imitate these values. Research has shown that although bullies tend to have difficulty making friends, they do gain a certain level of popularity and peer status for their actions. It is possible that bullies may be enjoying more respect and admiration from their peers, and bullying behavior, especially among boys, can often be considered normal behavior.
Causes of bullying
Parental relationship
Bullies tend to come from families that are characterized as having little warmth or affection. These families also report trouble sharing their feelings and usually rate themselves as feeling less close to each other. Parent of bullies also tend to use inconsistent discipline and little monitoring of where their children are throughout the day. Sometimes parents of bullies have very punitive and rigid discipline styles, with physical punishment being very common. Bullies also report less feelings of closeness to their siblings.
School failure
Bullies are usually not model students. Very often they are not doing well in school and do not have good connections with their teachers.
Peer rejection
Researchers who are interested in how children form relationships with their peers have identified four categories that describe how children relate to peers, based on having children name children that they like as well as children that they don t like:
Popular children are those that many children say they like, and few children say that they dislike. These children have developed positive social and communication skills.
Controversial children are both actively liked and disliked by many of their peers. They tend to have good social skills, but also exhibit aggressive behavior. Class clowns often fit into this category.
Rejected children are actively disliked by many of their peers and well liked by few of their peers. They show high rates of conflict, aggression, and immature play, and they have trouble taking the perspective of another person. They also have a hard time solving problems without resorting to violence. Rejected children are often prone to delinquency and dropping out of school later.
Neglected children are seldom neither liked or disliked by their peers. Although they are very shy, and may have low self-esteem, many neglected children do very well in school and are able to develop friends as they approach adolescence.
Bullies come most often from the rejected category, but they sometimes are popular children as well. Victims can be selected from any category, although neglected children often are more likely to be victims.
What it means to be a victim
Unfortunately in recent years, our attitudes have changed about what it means to be a victim. Many parents and school officials are likely to blame victims of bullying for being weak and not being able to stand up for themselves. This, coupled with the fact that victims are usually warned by bullies not to tell anyone, makes it difficult for them to talk with parents and teachers.
Ten percent of children could be considered extreme victims who have been the victim of bullies at least once a week for a long period of time. These children are often considered younger, weaker, or sicker by their peers. Victims are just as likely to be boys as girls. They often report strong fears or dislike of going to school. These children often report closer feelings to parents and siblings, but whether this causes them to be victims or is simply how they cope with being bullied is unclear. Being labeled a victim is likely to follow children around from year to year. Most extreme victims report having few or no friends and being alone at recess and lunch.
Symptoms that a child might be a victim of bullying
acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction
becomes depressed loses interest in school work, or grades drop
loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep waits to use the
bathroom at home arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly
related to fears of being bullied at school) wants to carry a protection item,
such as a knife.
Consequences of bullying
Short term effects of being a victim
Being a victim is very stressful for children. Many children develop a strong dislike of going to school, especially times like recess or gym class. Many victims begin to distrust all their peers at school and have problems making friends. Extreme victims can develop depression or physical illness.
Long term effects of being a victim
The long term consequences of being a victim vary a good deal. Most victims of bullying do well in school and are able to make friends are they grow older. Most victims, especially if they receive support from adults important in their lives, survive the experience of being bullied without long term effects.
Short term effects of being a bully
Even though bullies are sometimes viewed positively by their peers, they rarely are capable of maintaining close friendships. They are usually not doing well in school and not well liked by their teachers.
Long term effects of being a bully
Bullying is a behavior that is very often one of the first steps to more serious problems. Unless some kind of intervention takes place, the aggression of bullying often leads to more serious acts of delinquency and criminal activity. Bullies are also more likely to use drugs and alcohol as adolescents.
Suggestions for working with bullies:
Work in small groups. It is often helpful to place bullies in groups with older children and have them engage in cooperative tasks. It will be necessary to provide a great deal of supervision.
Reinforce children each time they engage in some degree of caring or pro-social behavior. It will be easier to establish more appropriate rules for interaction after they learn that there are more positive ways to gain attention and affection.
Often children who are having a hard time relating to other children can learn some social skills with pets. Under close supervision, bullies may learn to care for and show affection to a dog or cat.
Work with families to determine ways they can show warmth and affection to their children, and seek to develop a more consistent set of discipline. Sometimes it is helpful for families to become more involved in community activities and become friends with other parents.
Suggestions for working with victims:
Often victims, particularly those who have been victimized many times, are withdrawn and are afraid of social interaction. These children often profit from social interactions with younger children, where they may be less afraid to open up or show some leadership.
Practice with kids some strategies of ways they can respond when being bullied. Help them identify times when they are likely to be harassed, and see if there are ways to avoid those situations. Determine the exact nature of the bullying behavior, and help them practice some things to say or do.
Here are some specific strategies:
Laugh or ignore comments or teasing. Bullies delight in you being scared
and getting a big reaction. Eventually they will leave you alone.
Tell them to buzz off or shout GO AWAY!! Say it as angrily as you can and walk away immediately. Practice in the mirror.
-- Stay with a crowd bullies usually pick on kids who are alone. Suggest that children walk to school or sit on the bus with someone who can protect them.
-- If you are alone with a crowd that picks on you, ask him or her why she is mean to you.
For both groups, it is helpful to pair them up with children who are neither bullies nor victims, as they can be great teachers of appropriate behavior.
What schools can do:
Get an accurate assessment of the problem. An anonymous survey is a very effective way to learn about the true nature of a problem at a particular school.
Maintain higher visibility. Most schools report that most of their bullying problems disappear when playgrounds, bathrooms, etc., are properly monitored. Supervising recess is especially important.
Have students develop class rules about bullying that are then consistently reinforced. It is important to start this in very early grades to gain a handle on this problem before it gets out of control.
Conduct in-service training for both teachers and parents. Stress that bullying is not just boys being boys or high spirited behavior but potentially damaging for both victims and bullies. Bullying is not something that people grow out of, but one of the first signs of more serious problems. It is also important to remember that verbal harassment can be just as scary and intimidating as physical attacks.
Have serious talks with bullies, and make them realize that you are aware of their behavior and are not going to tolerate it. It is also important to develop ways to help them learn more positive social skills.
What parents can do:
Create a safe environment for your children to tell you about being bullied. Many times kids are embarrassed to tell their parents what happened, thinking that their parents will blame them. Sometimes kids at school pick on other kids or say mean things to them. Does this ever happen to you at school?
Reinforce the idea that if they are being bullied, it is not their fault. Don't make your child feel like a wimp. The person that is picking on you is the one with a problem, not you. Bullies pick on people for no real reason, but it is just because they have problems of their own, not because of anything you have done.
Don t teach your kids to hit or fight back; it will only make things worse.
Here are five steps that are be good to suggest:
Ignore
Move away
Ask to stop
Tell firmly to stop
Tell an adult.
Notify teachers whenever an incident happens, be prepared to be persistent until some action is taken! Ask the teacher: Would it be possible to have the class get involved in a discussion about bullies, or to separate my child from those who are bothering them?
If your child is unwilling to report another child s behavior to a teacher, offer to make the complaint yourself. Stress that it can be done in a way that is confidential.
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hi southflorida, thanks for the kind words, i couldnt really detect much in the way of specific questions in your post, so i'll try and comment on what you are saying.
i find the whole idea of choice vs destiny a fascinating question, and love reading the philosophy and science behind it. people like BF Skinner etc really make you think.
my opinion is that we as humans are pretty unique animals in that we can over-ride our instincts and make a choice, and whilst many choices can be predictable and in line with those instincts - that doesnt make them right or excuse them - there is still a choice.
the bodily functions question is a pretty simple one - they dont take conscious thought, so no real choice there whether to breath or not.
removing 'ego' is impossible, like removing someones personality or identity
i find the whole 'universe decides' thing a bit of a cop-out, like absolving ourselves of responsibility for the choices we make.
as for how does it relate to suicide? - my post was a response to your earlier one that seemed to be saying 'hey - it happened that way because the universe blah blah and i felt that this was the wrong way to look at it. going back to the gay kid broadcast on the internet example. his suicide was a tragic choice - bought about by someone else's very bad choice.
the idea that you should kick back and be indifferent to all the terrible things in the world because 'everything happens for a reason' is just letting yourself off the hook imo.
cheers
VG
I don't make policy....I don't make the rules here....Guess who does? Gypsy. But it's much easier to get mad at me for enforcing them then get mad at Gypsy! No one would dare tell him off, right? Go on blame me, I don't give a fuck. I'm out. Disrespectful arses. Bully that. Don't bother replying, I won't be reading 
bullying? that was bullying? freakin hell. I wasn't trying to bully anyone! It was a stupid sentence! that's it! Get over it!
bullying? that was bullying? freakin hell. I wasn't trying to bully anyone! It was a stupid sentence! that's it! Get over it!
VG, I started this thread below, and there is an article and an
audio that covers interesting information about choice vs. destiny
and if you like reading information about consciousness and
awareness, then you might find it interesting.
https://www.icmag.com/ic/showthread.php?t=190841
From the perspective that I had many years ago, I find what you
say to be true, that is also how I thought, but from where I am
at the current moment, I see that everything is perfect in the
universe and can't be any other way. And this "everything" includes
all the good, and obviously includes all the "bad" also.
It is a total package deal, you can't have the good without the bad
when it comes to reality. I just see things as they "are" now a days
and not as I want them to be.
I wish I could go back to the other perspective, but once you cross
the line, you can never go back. Once you have seen the boogy
man, you can't lie to yourself that you didn't see it.
Talk to you later, and will continue to enjoy your grow threads!
A
arcticsun
Im not a scientist, its called psychiatric care or mental health care, I call it human compassion and empathy.
Im over here in Norway btw, I guess we have some of the same problems here that you do, but not quite as much of them. I think its a lifestyle problem and to a large extent a governmental problem. Talking does fix chemical imbalances actually, or body language helps calm people down, just because one has an imbalance doesnt mean one isnt responsive.
If the society at large would take responsibility and be more empathic towards each other, there would be less psychosis and depression. There is no quick fix for it im afraid, its a civilization problem, to find aspiration for everyone. Preemptive caution is by far to be preferred before repairing the damage.
In the states you have hit a wall of growth for whatever reason, so there is less abundance in the society and consequently more competition and also bullying. You have tremendous waste problem, so you will see emphasis on resource management, you will also have to invest more in your current population. So far you have not had a great deal of competition over resources, every man could afford to fend for himself. With less abundance there will be more desperation so there will be need for a social security network to prevent those who falls out of competition from causing chaos.
Depression, psychosis and such goes hand in hand with social order, resources, crime etc. More suicides reflects some kind of imbalance in society. Exactly what problems the US psychiatry is having, i dont know, but i know that where i live we get a lot of patients with drug abuse history. I think a good reform of the narcotics laws would be a massive lift for mental health in any country.
peacepeace
Come on man that's not fair. Think of it like a car. You can't blame the mechanic for your car problems if you're driving on shitty bumpy roads all the time that knock the shit out of your car. They can fix them but you can't expect them to fix the road, that's up to the government.
Hasn't Norway recently initiated a government program on bullying in the schools?
I just read this entire thread and now I feel like killing myself.
No seriously though. This thread explains a lot just in the ways of different people. Some people have problems in their head. And I'm not talking about the people killing themselves. I mean there is in many people a complete lack of empathy. Not just empathy but the ability to understand the motives behind other people, and understand their lives. And if you're not one of these people they can make it very hard to exist around them, and trying to talk to them about it is usually futile.
Problems always appear overly simple to those whose minds cannot grasp the full spectrum of the equation.
Their answers are seldom nuanced. More likely "Just do it.", "Kick his ass!", "Fuck 'em.", "Everything happens for a reason", "Deal with it.", etc.
No seriously though. This thread explains a lot just in the ways of different people. Some people have problems in their head. And I'm not talking about the people killing themselves. I mean there is in many people a complete lack of empathy. Not just empathy but the ability to understand the motives behind other people, and understand their lives. And if you're not one of these people they can make it very hard to exist around them, and trying to talk to them about it is usually futile.
Problems always appear overly simple to those whose minds cannot grasp the full spectrum of the equation.
Their answers are seldom nuanced. More likely "Just do it.", "Kick his ass!", "Fuck 'em.", "Everything happens for a reason", "Deal with it.", etc.
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