Apartment Neighbor Argument / Security - Please Help!

[InTheRed]

Your only flaw is:

We have already had a long claim with the apartment complex regarding the moving out issue. They aren't going to squander that just because of this ordeal because it is her word against mine. Do you really think the complex would contact the 5's regarding this response call?

 

[Highlight]

LOL I'm pretty sure if I was in your situation, I would be friends with my neighbor by now.

It would appear you have a chip on your shoulder and you got off to a bad start with her. Maybe if you made a friendly gesture to your neighbor SINCERELY, not selfishly, you'd get somewhere. I don't know many people who won't show respect, where respect is due.

In your own words: You should "not HATE people for such stupid reasons.. life is too short."

On the bright side, you're one lucky guy, in my state, you'd be sitting in jail over that smell. Nonetheless, document and record all your concerns with audio/video.

 

[TruthOrLie]

On the bright side, you're one lucky guy, in my state, you'd be sitting in jail over that smell.

Forget your job. Forget the noise.

Just pay attention to this.

Because you wanted to bang on ceilings and make police calling threats... you could have really f***ed yourself.

Luckily you're in a med friendly state.

Hopefully no one cares you smoke.

Most likely you'll look back at this and feel pretty stupid.

 

[WasntMe]

InTheRed,
1. Yes I would wait 12 to 24 hrs to cool down, you and her, but not any longer or it won't be relevant anymore.
2. Just put TruthorLie on your ignore list, not only is his focus not even on the real issue of the situation that YOU have in regards to your neighbor ... he is also, obviously, trying to antagonize you. You don't need that right now. You need to be calm, focus and friendly to defuse your situation with ease and grace. Be the man in the situation by owning your responsibility for the situation ... then go talk to her.

 

[whodair]

ok you're 23 living in an apartment complex, perfect credit, on the fast track up the corporate ladder, go to bed early and have the straight laced girlfriend for five years...damn homie you're getting old quick !!

now go out and get in some trouble !! if i was there i'd take you out drinking after work straight thru last call, then back to your place for bong rips and loud music...start a fight with your old lady, run upstairs go get friendly with the high stepper ... but you're a nice guy and im fucked up !!

 

[ddrew]

Talk to her today I say, while it's still fresh.
If you really want to lay on the i'm sorry, and I'm really a good neighbor charm, go to the bakery, get a dozen fresh cookies, bring them home and put them on one of your own plates, put some plastic over them, and head up.

Knock, when she answers, tell her you feel terrible about how you handled things this morning, and you'd like to start over.
Introduce yourself as *****, your downstairs neighbor, say these are for you, hand her the cookies, and tell her you're pleased to meet her.

 

[Rabbi Reefer]

Go to the bakery, get a dozen fresh cookies, bring them home and put them on one of your own plates, put some plastic over them, and head up.

Knock, when she answers, tell her you feel terrible about how you handled things this morning, and you'd like to start over.
Introduce yourself as *****, your downstairs neighbor, say these are for you, hand her the cookies, and tell her you're pleased to meet her.

And for Christ's-sake, don't blow things by giving her "special" cookies!!!

 

[InTheRed]

I'm taking the the advice of WasntMe and Drew.. Thanks boys!

I'll let you guys know how it goes down. I need to go today apparently.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

social conflict gets em faster than yummybud

social conflict gets em faster than yummybud

A couple months ago I signed a one year lease with an apartment complex. Since then a female neighbor living directly above me has been extremely noisy.

I've been in this situation more than once. If you can hear your neighbors noise, they can hear yours.

This past weekend she was vacuuming and generally being really loud from 11:30pm-6:00pm and it woke me up so I banged on the ceiling a little to let her know that I was simply trying to sleep (this has been an ongoing problem since we've moved in.) Whenever I call the complex regarding the noise issue, they never do much at all (and we've called numerous times.)

This won't help much for your current neighbor. In the future, knock and introduce yourself. Suggest you're empathic to noise in a mutual manner. This won't work with everybody but you'll reassure most neighbors. They typically reciprocate.

I've done the above and I've banged on the ceiling. Banging on the ceiling got the cops called on me the minute my stereo (not loud) and spliffs fired up.

Back to the story: I banged on the ceiling and before I knew it she was downstairs knocking on my door claiming she can be, "as loud as she wants whenever she wants." Possibly not the best response, I said out of frustration "The next time I hear it, I'm gonna call the cops." The girl was pissed saying that SHE was going to call the cops.

You might want to note every encounter that's aggressive. Obviously she can't make as much noise, whenever. This is where introducing yourself before the fact helps. You might not be aware you're dong something to bother her.

Two day later, sure enough theres a knock at my door as I'm using my water tube. The police just wanted to get my half of the situation but the girl had also mentioned that there was some marijuana smoke she smells from time to time. The officer then explained that even though she was not here regarding the smoke, she wanted me to be aware that she could smell it and to be careful in case they called again.

Sounds like a reasonable cop if there is such a thing.

Today I have used my vapor brothers once but I am much too afraid to simply create smoke content. I know it is much too risky but I also know the girl only told the cop out of spite because she was upset that I told her to be quiet.

Instead of telling your neighbor to be quiet, try to reason that excessive noise is something the two of you have to work out.

Girls are vindictive and she is in college no less. What are my options regarding both the neighbor, smoking, and relocating? Obviously we are trying to break the lease (the legal lease ends in October so it would be a long time to wait) and move out of this complex but I can't afford to break the lease if it will effect my credit history.

Tell the landlord that your neighbor declared she can raise hell 24/7. Remind the landlord that numerous complaints have been ignored. You want out w/o credit reprisal and you'll consider getting an attorney if the landlord doesn't comply. But this can be considered a threat so don't get attitudinal.

The apartment complex has been nothing but grieve, because they never do anything about the noise. We are apparently just supposed to live this way and now I feel so sketchy about letting her know shes being too loud. I don't have any plant matter in the apartment and have no plans too. It is a really depressing situation and I feel trapped and worried.

I feel used, and treated like hell simply because I wanted to go to sleep at night. I am not a bad person. I am a great neighbor besides the smoke. Obviously moving into a first floor apt was a mistake and I've learned my lesson but I just need some insight on the next step to take.

Thank you for your help!

PS I am currently not a MM Patient and the officer did seem like she wasn't super worried about the smoke but she did want to just make me aware.

Sorry you're in a pickle, I've been in your situation. Look on the bright side, you're not growing and your neighbor isn't a big ugly dude standing in your face.

IMO, tweaking your own uncomfortable nature as a neighbor will calm the bitch down more than confrontation. A squeaky wheel needs grease but you have to choose your battles as well.

 

[Lebniis]

Maybe try a polite approach to get her to realize what she is doing?

Maybe if there is a person above her that you could talk to and have them team up with you to file a complaint?

I could imagine your situation. For smoking get a cheap carbon filter and fan. I smoke blunts in my place and can't smell it after leaving for an hour (blow the smoke straight into the filter).

Otherwise take all weed related shit out of your house and go all for it. Tapping her floor at all hours of the night. Vacuum the ceiling etc...

You are probably better off trying to deal with her kindly than being passive-aggressive about it.

What does your woman think? It might defuse the situation if it's woman on woman. Cops would be less likely to take her side, since you are a man.

My apologies for not reading the whole thread, hopefully this fits in.

 

[InTheRed]

Lebniis and DiscoBiscuit: Thank you for your comments, they are really appreciated and I clearly need to just speak with this girl one on one.

 

[Mr Jay]

make her some cookies and say you're sorry. You don't have to mean it, just get her off your back. If you want to win a war with someone you have to make them feel like an asshole, not be one yourself.

 

[Highlight]

Sometimes you just gotta' suck it up and kiss some ass..

Sometimes you just gotta' suck it up and kiss some ass..

EDIT: NVM you don't want advice, you just want to rage.

 

[Purple Monster]

Lol. Dumbass move trying to start problems w/ a neighbor. Don't you know what to expect living in an apartment complex? Expect: Noise, Parties, Cops, Noise, Noise, did I say Noise?

WTF man. Is this is your first time living on your own?

You shoulda got some ear plugs instead.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Fire up some East Indian meditation drones on the hi-fi. Anybody within earshot will go insane.

 

[InTheRed]

I'm not gonna kiss ass.. I'm going to go up there and explain my situation to her and simply hope shes not ignorant about it.

I just don't know if I should wait any longer then this.. I've got to get her on my good side but I'm not bringing cookies guys.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Lebniis and DiscoBiscuit: Thank you for your comments, they are really appreciated and I clearly need to just speak with this girl one on one.

It's always easier from the armchair quarterback position. Hang in there, I get the feeling that compromise is possible.

Try to play the game, don't allow your neighbor to realize just how nuts she drives you. If she's a sociopath, it's how she gets her kicks. Remember the cartoon where the critter runs up on the hillside before screaming? It's to keep the other critter from taking advantage. Best wishes.

 

[TrichyTrichy]

extend an olive branch and bring the cookies

 

[TruthOrLie]

cookies? take her a 5th of smirnoff and get this party started

 

[Highlight]

I meant.. Good luck!