You know you live in the country if......

[kaochiu]

I've seen today a fight head to head between a clun forest 2 year old male and a one year old black angus cow. Wish i'd had the camera on me. Man, those clun forests had a thick skull, and the cow wanted to hold ground. Name's Aladino. If a stranger enters my property, likely he'll get a Glasgow kiss, and his head is just at that particular height for the average man, you know... covering between 100 and 130 cm. I myself don't trust those far away eyes, but we get on fine.
The black one is his son, now gone to other pastures

 

[kaochiu]

When outside in the darkness the owl says "Hoooo", you defensively turn around and yell back, "ME, dammit!!!"[/QUOTE]

Change owl for the clun forest and that's me, any night.

 

[Bud Green]

You know you live in the country if......

you enjoy helping people out, and you ain't afraid of picking up a hitchhiker...

..

 

[420somewhere]

Not sure if I'd pick her up..

Not sure if I'd pick her up..

You know you live in the country if......

you enjoy helping people out, and you ain't afraid of picking up a hitchhiker...

..

Could be a molester or something

 

[kaochiu]

Broken jeans, sunglasses hiding eyes, the car coming from the oppossite direction, suspicious luggage style for a country road and her friend the photographer behind the bushes against the remote chance she's a nympho with a fixation to elderly drivers. So...
Get da bus, ya beggar!

 

[shithawk420]

She can molest me anytime!

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......



you constantly get things like log hooks in your popup ads.

based on zip codes
I'm never looking for chainsaws, tools etc.

 

[al70]

if you live in the country in ireland you're a cultchie (cull-chee)

 

[shithawk420]

whats a cultchie?

 

[resin_lung]

When you hear bizarre noises in the woods, and can't tell if the fox are mating, or if someone's being tortured?

I would just fkn run! Run run run run! Any direction! Gonna have to catch ME!haha

 

[moose eater]

First time I heard it was in the evening, on the front porch of my house, maybe 15 years ago or so. And I've been in or near the woods most of my life; getting closer by the day to 60 years.

I'd never heard that sound before.

When we were building, a particular fox would come within 8-10 ft. of my crew sometimes, and I was wary, as fox are known to carry rabies, especially up north of me, near the Brooks Range and North Slope, as well as 200 miles to the east of me.

So when I see an animal prone to such disease, behaving in a way that says they're not altogether normal, I get concerned; especially back then, when my two older kids were fairly young yet.

In that case, I shot directly over his head with a .44 mag revolver I had on-hand, close enough to nearly give him/her a no-hawk, and he got the drift. I didn't see him/her much after that, though I spared the little feller his life; a win: win, I guess.

Turned out a neighbor had been thoughtlessly feeding him/her red squirrels they'd killed (likely illegal as all hell, but who am I to judge, other than for there's a reason the animal rights folks and park people will tell you to never feed wild critters; it eases their defense mechanisms, and sets them up to get off'ed, much like that little guy/gal nearly did.

Feeding them WAY out in the bush is somewhat another thing altogether, as there's far fewer people to take advantage or misread the cues. but in a rural subdivision, it's often a death sentence eventually for critters, for a number of reasons.

Anyway, the sound they make when hollering for a mate is like someone torturing a baby or a woman; one of the most "WHAT THE FUCK WAS -THAT-??!" sounds I've heard. But now I know when I hear it, it's just a horny fox, looking to satisfy that natural, internal, seasonal 'clock.' Like the rest of us sometimes, but more noisy than some/most.

I would just fkn run! Run run run run! Any direction! Gonna have to catch ME!haha

 

[shithawk420]

Lol there was a story on the local news awhile back.people couldn't figure out who was stealing the news papers in a nice small subdivision in Ottawa Illinois.everybody thought it was punk kids till they found out it was a mother fox building a den for her cubs.

 

[moose eater]

Ravens (and other birds) and red squirrels are notorious for stealing things; sometimes bright shiny objects in particular. And ravens are incredibly bright.

Ravens used to steal our lunches when we were out in the field, felling trees for the Forest Service in S.E. Alaska in 1979.

A crew member would see a raven flying over-head, and call out the object carried (i.e., "ham sandwich!"). The next bird would fly over with maybe an apple, or a candy bar, and by the time the third, fourth or fifth bird (and lunch item) flew over, someone would protest, "That's MY lunch!!" or something to that effect.

We started tying our lunches up in the insides of our rain jackets, with the waist folded up over the chest, then the arms wrapped in front and tied in a half-knot, and the buggers would untie them and STILL take the lunches, followed by the same sequence of someone calling out items flying over-head in ravens' mouths.

My youngest son and I were over in the Yukon Territory (N.W. Canada) a bit over a month ago, camping at Aishihik Lake. I had a couple bags of Russell Stover's sugar-free chocolates in green sealed mylar wrappers. My son had Dove chocolates, in bright baby-blue foil.

We'd placed the boat's and truck's fuel jugs, as well as coolers and bags of chocolates, in the shade under some spruce trees, on a large squirrel chew pile (spruce cone remnants in a large pile, with tunnels/dens under it, beneath the trees). While we were out on the lake the second evening there, the squirrels took every single piece of Dove chocolate he had, and left all of my candy alone.

I explained to him that it was just as likely that the squirrels were attracted to the color as it was they could smell chocolate in his (not sealed) foil, but not mine.

I told him there was a really good possibility that his candy was in a den under the spruce chew, stacked in some cavern in there, the same way the voles steal our small boiling potatoes, and when we dig up the field, we find little grass or hay-lined caverns in their complexes, with stashes of little spuds.

He threatened to reach in to see if he could feel anything, and I advised him against it, telling him that even a critter as small as a squirrel, if feeling cornered with no place to go, can get radical some times.

He spent the next couple of hours sitting in camp, watching the various squirrels come and go, trying to assess which one looked as though they'd just eaten a shitload of chocolate. I told him to chastise the biggest, fattest ones; they were the most guilty-looking culprits.

Lol there was a story on the local news awhile back.people couldn't figure out who was stealing the news papers in a nice small subdivision in Ottawa Illinois.everybody thought it was punk kids till they found out it was a mother fox building a den for her cubs.

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......



some tend to keep things straight for following generations.

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......


there ain't an app for that.

 

[rexamus616]

You know you live in the country if....

You know you live in the country if....

The World Rally Championship is held on your road.....

....And you can sit in the garden, tending to the plants, watching the cars crack-along, while puffing on some nice smoko.....


All four wheels spinning when they round those corners..... awesome!

 

[moose eater]

For lunch, you get to choose between the two ruffed grouse munching on gravel in the driveway, or the left-over chicken soup in the fridge.

(*The grouse received a reprieve, their sentence was commuted, and chicken soup prevailed. And all was right, once again, in America.... Even the grouse are singing the Nat'l Anthem now).

 

[Rolling Stoner]

In my neck of the woods about the only thing you hear from the neighbors is chainsaws and gunshots. Saws start around 7 AM and shooting starts around 5 PM. Drinking happens somewhere in between lol.

 

[shithawk420]

Fucking whole family of skunks infiltrated my little farm town so now the whole town reeks! Skunks were trying to eat my buddies cat food! Fucking cats with a nasty ole shitty spray gun is what they are!

 

[Green Squall]

Fucking whole family of skunks infiltrated my little farm town so now the whole town reeks! Skunks were trying to eat my buddies cat food! Fucking cats with a nasty ole shitty spray gun is what they are!

Are you sure its not harvest season that your smelling?