You know you live in the country if......

[St. Phatty]

when you buy some clear spray paint

so you can preserve the light brown spots on your white truck

to commemorate the unique decorative skills of

the skunk that was in a trap that I threw on the ground the other morning.


I had covered the trap with a tarp, but as I was walking through a gate next to a blackberry stand, the tarp came off ...

the next thing I knew I was running and throwing the cage.

Not trying to hurt the skunk, just trying to NOT GET SPRAYED.


I was fairly impressed. the Skunk sprayed during every phase of the work session (putting the tarp on, picking up the cage, losing the tarp, returning to the cage to re-adjust the now-stinking-tarp, and setting a shovel to hold the door open.)

That skunk had PLENTY of spray for the 3rd spray (when it got the truck.)

I feel like Dexter, but instead of blood spray patterns - I get to analyze skunk spray patterns.

 

[armedoldhippy]

P.s. I just realised i like mud!

getting muddy is fun, washing it off is a blast!

 

[Bud Green]

You know you live in the country if......

when a neighbor's team mules get out now and then, and they run down the middle of the highway and won't let you get by them...
..

 

[armedoldhippy]

You know you live in the country if......

when a neighbor's team mules get out now and then, and they run down the middle of the highway and won't let you get by them...
..

well...they ARE a team you know...

 

[shithawk420]

I gotta deal with horses and llamas getting out like that every month.tired of them breaking the damn fence down when they scratch their asses on the damn posts

 

[CosmicGiggle]

Hey, my whole pack of tiny dogs got out a couple of days ago and terrorized the entire neighborhood.

The neighbor who stopped by to tell me about it was an old, OLD man with long white hair and a long white beard that was down to his waist and beyond!

.... now, that's country!

 

[shithawk420]

Lol,it scared the fuck outta me when the county sherif puts his card in the fence to write our animals got loose.don't have enough money or manpower to replace 10 acres of fence.every time we fix it the damn horse wants to break it.horses,especially females, (coincidence?lol)are very neurotic.just imo!

 

[kaochiu]

How about an electric fence? Once they try a hit they avoid it, even when switched off. Not 100% safe, of course, but better than a fence once broken. Used to close the horse fence every night with a simple knot. In the morning it was open. First i thought i forgot, second day i thought the village idiot was at loose, third i kept vigilant, only to see my horse holding the end of the rope and pulling. Horses learn quick.
Yo CG, there was this (i think) aztec king who had a personal guard of 100 vicious chihuahuas. Now, that's terror. Little ones i have run attacking like hungry wolves and then, five steps from the objective they stop flat, often changing direction at double the speed when whoever comes clap their hands. No shame, no pride, no pretending.
Mules! I spent some years dealing with mules. Still got one, for old times sake, wild and crazy. "Crazy as a crazy goat dancing on top of a crazy mule" (read that somewhere. can't remember)

 

[Brother Bear]

Kids n dogs treed a small black bear not much bigger than them the other day. Bout 30ft from the back porch. Woke me up, screaming and barking. I go out n he is pissed ! Cussin and spitting down the tree. Called off the pack and he dropped down and made tracks fast up the holler.

 

[resin_lung]

View Image

I don't know about this one..... I grew up in the valley and there were roosters all over! At least all over my neighborhood. Im pretty sure they werent there for making eggs(if they're even needed for that) I think they were used for fighting.

I only say that because every now and then the cops would come with animal control and raid some fri night party that would cause all the old men to bonk the fk out!. They were always older men.

Also.... there was never a mariachi or women and the cops would always leave with a shit load of roosters!haha

 

[CosmicGiggle]

hmmm, black bear, holler, we might be neighbors Brother Bear, my pack treed a black bear in the yard last year but I was able to call them off with the magic words "come get cheese"!

...... come to think of it, if yer anywhere near rt 40 it coulda been the same bear!

 

[CosmicGiggle]

You know you live in the country if......

You're driving along a lonely country road and have to slow down 'cause there's an ancient Ford 150 puttering slowly in front of you.

..... but this is good as it gives you a chance to notice the trucks plates which read 'GO ON, GIT!'

Hillbilly humor at its finest!

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......



yup, but only because we invented the concept.

 

[Brother Bear]

hmmm, black bear, holler, we might be neighbors Brother Bear, my pack treed a black bear in the yard last year but I was able to call them off with the magic words "come get cheese"!

...... come to think of it, if yer anywhere near rt 40 it coulda been the same bear!

I'm North of 40, still in the Appalachians though.

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......



you're somewhat unlike those city slickers who tend to resemble their dogs.......

 

[St. Phatty]

I'm learning how to pick out the rotten eggs from the good ones.

I start out with the "float" technique. If it floats, it goes into the animals' feed bucket, I used to not chance it.

However, in the most recent batch, from a neighbor, MOST of the eggs float. I put one floater in the feed bucket and cracked it, no smell.

So for today's lunch, I found 5 that floated. I can't stand it when you break a rotten egg in a frying pan because you have to throw everything away and start over ... unless you have a real strong stomach.

Anyway, 1 of the 5 you could feel it moving - shake the egg and whatever is inside goes back & forth ... that goes into the feed bucket.

The 4 left ... I'm boiling them now. If I'm going to come face to face with another rotten egg, I'd rather it be hard-boiled.

 

[redlaser]

That's crazy on the rotten eggs, must have been sitting around quite a while. Don't think I've ever had a rotten egg, we only get about 6-8 a day from our birds. I've gotten partially developed eggs from others.

Sometimes they lay eggs that don't have hard shells, like in a water balloon type thing, sometimes really small like 1/2-1 inch size, perfect otherwise.

Ever seen or had Balut? Fertilized duck egg, supposed to be good. Wife eats them, I do not.

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......



don't even ask

 

[moose eater]

When Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms is a nearby convenience store instead of a Federal agency.

When you hear bizarre noises in the woods, and can't tell if the fox are mating, or if someone's being tortured?

When outside in the darkness the owl says "Hoooo", you defensively turn around and yell back, "ME, dammit!!!"