When to tell your kids about pot?

[Don Cotyle]

I had the drugs and alcohol are bad talk when my son was 12! When he was 13 we almost lost him to a borderline diabetic coma with 11 days in intensive care! When he was 15 close to his 16th birthday he came home a few times half drunk...I live in a state of Good Ole Boys where they start to drink at a very young age.

At age 16 Iagain had the alcohol is extremly bad for him due to his diabetes and pulled out a doobie and told him I would rather him smoke a little Hippie Hay from time to time that wouldn't affect his condition BUT it had better not affect his grades!!! I'm very lucky he was in gifted classes throught all of his school years, he's never been in any serious trouble and he's a good kid! He's now in his last year of collage something I never got to do!!!

In retrospect I lead him to a lesser "evil" for his health, he'll still have a cold beer on a hot day once in a blue moon but it sure was better than the road he was starting down! Peace

 

[DrugleyDoRite]

My kids are so sick of all the info that I feed them about weed. Every time some new info comes out I have to tell them, and my wife. They just reply with a "Yeah we know. Lets talk about something else."

They are 22 and 20. I didn't talk to them about it until the youngest was 18. It is surprising what they already knew.

 

[confedrate69]

i guess my biggest problem with telling a child what we do and that we feel its right is what happens that day they have that drug class and they start arguing with the under educated educator that MJ is a good medicine and helps people . common scence tells me that there gonna be like hmm whats going on at this kids house it will bring un wanted attension imo .

here there was a case of parents getting busted with 300 plants because a friend of there sons got caught with weed and got scared and wanted out of trouble and ratted the other boys parents ass being the supplyers cops are evil basteges they will do what they have to .

they sent cps over to check out there sons living conditions and pulled there famous well we want to look in all the rooms and uh oh 300 plants in a non locked basement and grow shit all over the place i mean shure if there out of school admit to growing and smoking but not till then.

i mean dam some of the garbage weed that people somke with me they tihink its the bomb and u know im a growed man with a family and a lot to loose in life.

i still catch myself about to say some stupid shit like yeah right sam i am lets go and smoke some of the shit i grew its way better and freshly cured organtically grown flowered on this date harvested on this day and produced this much out of my 100 plant basement .

long story short if it rises the hairs on he back of my neck when i'm told garbage pot is "the bomb or you'll never smoke nothi'n this good in your life agin i know whats at steak{A BIG TASATY PERFECTILY COOKED T BONE} so i bite my toung till i cry and say that was the best pot ever it even made me cry. what else can i do but come out with a joint of personal from my trip to florida 4 years ago "muhahaha"

Ok ill get off my soap box lets just use our heads people and lets be SAFE!!!!!!!

 

[bakelite]

Guys, again thanks for the feedback as well as sharing your experiences with all of us. I'm glad to see some have tempered the thread with some much needed humor

 

[Hydro-Soil]

i guess my biggest problem with telling a child what we do and that we feel its right is what happens that day they have that drug class and they start arguing with the under educated educator that MJ is a good medicine and helps people . common scence tells me that there gonna be like hmm whats going on at this kids house it will bring un wanted attension imo .

here there was a case of parents getting busted with 300 plants because a friend of there sons got caught with weed and got scared and wanted out of trouble and ratted the other boys parents ass being the supplyers cops are evil basteges they will do what they have to .

they sent cps over to check out there sons living conditions and pulled there famous well we want to look in all the rooms and uh oh 300 plants in a non locked basement and grow shit all over the place i mean shure if there out of school admit to growing and smoking but not till then.

i mean dam some of the garbage weed that people somke with me they tihink its the bomb and u know im a growed man with a family and a lot to loose in life.

i still catch myself about to say some stupid shit like yeah right sam i am lets go and smoke some of the shit i grew its way better and freshly cured organtically grown flowered on this date harvested on this day and produced this much out of my 100 plant basement .

long story short if it rises the hairs on he back of my neck when i'm told garbage pot is "the bomb or you'll never smoke nothi'n this good in your life agin i know whats at steak{A BIG TASATY PERFECTILY COOKED T BONE} so i bite my toung till i cry and say that was the best pot ever it even made me cry. what else can i do but come out with a joint of personal from my trip to florida 4 years ago "muhahaha"

Ok ill get off my soap box lets just use our heads people and lets be SAFE!!!!!!!

That's the absolute WORST part about having wonderful meds you grew yourself. Not being able to tell/share with those around you that are suffering with street Shit!

GAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! We desperately need to increase the speed of this legal transition going on in the states.....

 

[Guest]

I think I would just say "here, eat this brownie and watch cartoons." "Daddy, this tastes funny" "Its good for you eat it "

Seriously though..... kids are snitches.

They say whatever they see the second their friends come around and they aren't discreet at nearly any age.

But I don't have kids. Though, I hear a lot of interesting stories when kids talk and it only takes a bit of motivational interviewing to find out everything the kid knows.

 

[bbing]

Well, this one is near and dear to my heart, of course.
Here is how mine sounded with my 17 y/o:

The problem with young people becomming "too comfortable" with cannabis use is real. Every single one of us can probably list examples of people in their lives (or themselves) that have been negatively impacted by frequent use. Usually they are not the catastrophic kind of problems however; my concern for young developing people is...

Who we become is a large part of what we experience. One of the most profound effects of marijuana is its ability to make you O.K. with whatever else is going on be it pain from a debilitating medical condition, great music at a concert, pressure to study for finals, or just sitting where on your ass playing Xbox for several hours. I guess I wouldn't want any young persons use to interfere with opportunities to go out and experince life, people, our planet etc...but for some... it does. So like alcohol, real discussions about use amounts, frequency, strain potency/effect, and social harmony are all important and germain as well.

I did ask him that his first use would be with me when he was ready. Like having his first beer with his oldman. This never happened as he is now 20 y/o and has tried a couple of times w/ friends and feels more job opportunities exist at this point in his life if he saved it for a little latter. Working f/t and college f/t good student, good citizen. I do believe the dialouge we had helped him understand the importance and complexity of the many issues that go along with use. I think he was able to see beyong the recreational part of it and ackowledge the responsibility in it too.

 

[Dr. Buzz]

This is a topic I have been thinking alot about lately.

I have a 2 year old and the Mrs and I have been all over the place with this. What do we do?

An example. I have a very close friend who has a 14 year old and he has been a daily smoker for 20+ years. He has never told his kid about his use and doesn't intend to. I asked him if his kid knew and his response was "I think she knows somthing is going on but hasn't said anything directly." I don't think this is the right way to go about it.

I have another friend who is the oppisite. He has a kid who is 16 and has used mj without discression and his kid uses it too. I also think that isn't the way to go about it.

Like bbing said above.... It is dangerous to let kids get comfortable with cannabis. I also think that trying to hide it around older kids could potentially ruin any athority you had with them. Tough to be sure.

I think that if you keep security at a premimum and don't let things slip like smells, light leaks, and unlocked doors; that would be a good first step. When the kids are older letting them in on the family secret could be a good way to teach them about being an adult. It's important and sacred information that can't be shared. If my kid doesn't understand the concepts of family first then that should be the answer. I'm sure going to do my best to raise a great kid. If he falls short of expectations then the grow show must stop.

Great informative thread. I would like to hear from some more folks as well.

 

[facelift]

You don't want to encourage drug use with your kids. You should wait until you find out he is using. I guess the distance you should go is to let the kid know that it's illegal, and that if he gets caught by the police, he'll go to jail. If he comes back with, well, why do you use it, then you and you kid has a serious problem.

 

[zlock]

Ok, I'm not an old fart, I'm 21 years old but I found it interesting to read this thread. I started smoking a few weeks after I turned 18. I've always been a "good kid", always done the "right" thing (never shoplifted, avoided hanging around kids who did that sorta stuff or vandalized property, etc.), got OK grades throughout school, been working hard ever since I turned 16, had my share of rough times dealing with my parents and their rules (not wanting me to be out till all hours of the morning with friends who they didn't know, even though we honest to god would be working on cars or hanging around a bonfire cooking hotdogs, drinking Dr Pepper, and bullshitting about cars and whatnot till 2am, no drinking or smoking), but 18 came and I tried smoking with some good friends who were older than me by a few years, and I loved it. Been smoking ever since, kept it descrete and my parents didn't know until earlier this year when I was a dumbass and left a few grams in a medicine bottle on my desk, and my mom came into my room to grab a few dishes or something I had sitting on my desk, saw the bottle and looked at it to see what it was, haha.

My mom wasn't really upset, she just asked me how much and how often I used it, why, etc., and tried telling me how it was bad for you and all the typical stuff that you see on the news, etc.
I didn't fight with her, but rather I printed out a few papers I had written for one of my college english classes on why marijuana should be decriminalized. I gave her that to read, explained to her that I had done a LOT of reading and research on the subject and that I had decided for myself that I enjoyed marijuana and accepted the responsibility that comes with it, that I knew when to say "Enough is enough", and that I was not letting it "take over" my life or interfere with my life in any negative way. In fact, I had just been promoted at my job and was now a manager in charge of two people who were both in their 40's (I was just 20), so I was working full time, going to college full time, paying all of my bills on time and in a great relationship with my girlfriend who at the time DIDN'T smoke, so obviously it wasn't making me an irresponsible "stoner" like they show on the anti-drug commercials and stuff. She still didn't quite agree or believe that the facts that I showed her about the drug were actually completely true, but all she really did was tell me she wanted me to be safe and to stay healthy.

So aside from having that discussion with my mom which I feel IMPROVED our relationship, it also started a much stronger relationship with my dad. I knew that he had smoked in his earlier years and probably experimented with other drugs as most of his generation had, but we had several really good conversations in which I learned that in fact he still DOES smoke on occasion with some of his friends as well as with my aunt. He was concerned that I might be like he was when he was my age and miss out on opportunities and fall a few steps behind because of his habbits, but in our conversations I think he realized that I wasn't headed down the wrong path, and he supports marijuana 100%. He even asked me to try studying for tests for school, high. He told me how he used to smoke and study, and that he was able to retain so much more of the information and make connections that he otherwise probably wouldn't have made, and that it might make it much more enjoyable and interesting to learn about otherwise boring subjects.

Now here we are about a year later, I've only smoked with my dad once (Australian pink floyd concert), but we talk about it frequently and he even showed me his smoke-box from way back... some neat looking pipes, roach holders, a bag of seeds, and a plastic box with 3 compartments, holding a decent stash of "Gold" and "Red" seeds, which he's going to let me try and grow once I get my SOG box up and running (which he helped me build)

Long story short, I think my dad did the right thing and waited until the right time and the right opportunity came up to talk with me about marijuana. I never would have known he still smokes or anything like that, and I don't blame him one bit for not just TELLING me before he did. Now I have an awesome relationship with both my parents, my dad and I have something in common that brings us closer, my mom and I have a much more honest and open relationship where I don't have to hide things from her even though she doesn't really approve, but she respects me and my judgment and now she even supports decriminalization of marijuana.

I dunno if this helps any of you guys out, but I figured maybe sharing my experience from the OTHER side of the discussion might help you figure out what you feel is the right way to tackle this subject with your kids. Good luck!

 

[SrPlantManager]

My two are now in their early 2o's, and when my son was 18, we sat down and had 'the talk'. He is a very intelligent young man, and being a Leukemia survivor, I figured it would be a good time to have a 'man2man' 'father2son' talk. I had already been growing some time then, and I was surprised he had so many good questions on the matter of legality. He told me that he once was offered to get high with a friend, but turned it down, although he HAD tried it with another friend when he was 17.

We took our dog for a long walk and I pulled out a joint of some great purple, and it was something else to get high with my son. He only hit it a few times, but it was really killer stuff. We ran into a friend of mine and him and his gf finished this joint with us... after 2 hits his gf puked. lol

We walked to a Blockbuster and rented a good movie and when we got back home, he told me, "Dad, thanks for being honest and open with me".

If he had been a little older when he was diagnosed with Leukemia, I told him this would have happened then, as it well so very very hard on me to see him so sick from chemo.

My daughter, on the other hand, is far too straight-laced to even touch the stuff... and I'm ok with that. It's HER choice, as she understands it is for ME, my choice. It's a mutual respect/understanding.

Not sure how I got so lucky to have two cool kids with great heads on their shoulders.

It was also very funny to see me and my son later that night eating the hinges off the fridge.

The irony is, late that night after watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, guess where WE had to go eat some more???

 

[bbing]

this is some of the most honest and helpful information in this forum. Sticky for sure!. Unreal level of thoughtfulness and consideration I keep finding here.

Researchers have no better chance to fully appreciate medical & social effects of cannabis than finding nugget threads like this. It would also be really cool to see if there are/is any correlation about use habits and the way children are(or are not) indoctrinated.

 

[Turn Green]

Well, im only 14 myself i know i probably shouldnt be on here, however as i grew up my dad always smoked round me as if it was a normal thing, wich lead me to not ask questions but as i hit 13 i wanted to try it, so i did and iv been smoking since, he says he doesnt want me to smoke, while im at school getting my education, he said he started when he was 20 not 14, i think hes lying though he said his friend had a joint with him before a test or so when he was younger at school, but the more stuff he hides from me, the more curious i get, the more i find out about pot, the more interesting it becomes. he has like 4 baby plants atm growing, he tried hiding them from me but i found out, also he goes into the loft everyday wich made me curious, he hid this from me, so yesterday i went to have a look, and WOW it was amazing, like 6 fully grown looking plants. iv never seen anything like it.

What im trying to say is, if your kids KNOW about pot, and they see you smoking it. they will become more curious as to 'why'. i always said nah, never smoke weed, untill i tried it, boy i was missing out. I think its best to tell you're kids as more of a generall thing like, if he see's u buying seeds or something, if u have a good bond with him, "Wanna help me plant these" and so on. DONT hide anything. :> just go about ur business, and if u dont want them to go snooping like i did, tell them they can ask you about it etc. Hope this helps =]

 

[mpd]

A discussion of the trials and tribulations of using marijuana should be left to mature parties. Once your children are mature enough to understand that every decision has an outcome they must live with - and with some decisions there are multiple outcomes to be "managed" - then (and only then) is the time to have a discussion on this.

Until your children reach the age of maturity - and this is a matter of growth and not a state mandated birth date - you all OWE your children the protection they deserve. When they are children, the introduction of drugs will only serve to end their childhood sooner than it otherwise would have ended, thus depriving them of growing and learning experiences they cannot recapture.

I have raised 9 kids. 4 steps, 2 adopted and 3 fosters. Out of the step-kids, none is a drug user because my wife and I taught our kids that only sick people needed drugs. Today, all of my children know that I use marijuana and that I grow. They all support it - or at least that is what is said to me - because they grew up seeing how I suffered every day from the headaches, insomnia, mania and other aspects of MPD that have manifested themselves in me from time to time. None of my kids - to my knowledge - is a regular user even though three of them live in very marijuana friendly states (Maryland and California). One of the adopted kids sometimes smokes pot, but only very rarely. Of the 3 fosters, I think one is a user today - but only a casual user (or so I hope).

This is a timing issue and don't let a little hypocrisy get in the way of a teaching moment when they are young. Your job is to protect these people until they are old enough and wise enough to fend for themselves. This means you have to keep them out of drugs until they are old enough to understand the ramifications of their choices, pure and simple.

Anything else is pure bullshit and fucked up parenting that will boomerang on your ass and we all know it.

 

[melvin2]

Sorry mpd, but I did not introduce my child to drugs by discussing pot with her. She has grown up around it and the kids in school do it all around her now. By me informing her the truths about cannabis and it's effects, she is better prepared to face those situations where someone might offer her some.

I taught my child why it is not good for her to use cannabis while she is learning and developing. She is an aspiring astronomer and she wouldnt let pot get in her way. At 14, she doesn't smoke, drink, date, or get high.

I did explain why her step-mother uses it for Multiple Sclerosis, and why I use it for my disorder.

I did not give her a joint and I do not smoke in front of her.

However, I would never tell a child about a grow op.
I would never tell a child about a grow op!
It needed to be said twice.

I wouldn't show them any pot or paraphernalia but I would let them read literature about the laws, the stigmas, the medical benefits, etc of pot.

Every situation is unique, I have a very special child whom I couldn't be more proud of. Now, if she ran around with "ADHD" it would be a different story altogether, so use discretion and good judgement when deciding if your child is capable of handling that info.

Part of the discussion should also focus on security. Make sure they are eager and willing to keep private matters private for the sake of the family. Teach them about their rights and how to handle police officers. Teach them that prohibition has turned the police force against us and we have to be very careful in these times. This isn't fun and games, we are in a drug war and the better informed our children, the better our future will be.

Now, if your kid can't keep from blabbing out to the D.A.R.E. cop at school, they aren't ready to be trusted with this information.

Make the bond you share sacred. These talks should be serious and the child should know and be able to fully understand the seriousness. That's a maturity call.

I try to teach my kid about the nitty gritty of the real world so she wont be as shell shocked as I was. My parents sheltered me but I was the curious cat.

And yes, I do teach her that when that day comes where she makes the choice to try an intoxicant.... I'd rather it be a little pot than alot of alcohol. Make sure you teach them that alcohol is deadly all by itself. If you have a daughter, please make them ready for the times when boys will have parties with alcohol. They need to know how it goes down before that experience happens and no one knows when their child will get to that point.

 

[mpd]

I'm sorry you're sorry...

 

[Homegrow3r]

It's not a good idea to allow kids to smoke under 18, recent studies see differences in achievement and brain development.
I'd reconsider sitting down and tooting up with a 14 year old, whatever about being honest with them, don't smoke with them, it's silly and there's no need for it.
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-02/chop-hmu020209.php

Adolescents and young adults who are heavy users of marijuana are more likely than non-users to have disrupted brain development, according to a new study. Pediatric researchers found abnormalities in areas of the brain that interconnect brain regions involved in memory, attention, decision-making, language and executive functioning skills. The findings are of particular concern because adolescence is a crucial period for brain development and maturation.

 

[bbing]

It's not a good idea to allow kids to smoke under 18, recent studies see differences in achievement and brain development.
I'd reconsider sitting down and tooting up with a 14 year old, whatever about being honest with them, don't smoke with them, it's silly and there's no need for it.
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-02/chop-hmu020209.php

While I agree with you about this from a sociological standpoint, the research you just through out there looks like crap


Journal of Psychiatric Research - what might there bias be????

he 14 subjects from the drug treatment center all had a history of heavy cannabis use during adolescence. On average, they had smoked marijuana from age 13 till age 18 or 19, and reported smoking nearly 6 marijuana joints daily in the final year before they stopped using the drug.

cmon! there are more confounds than I can shake a stick at. Nice sample size BTW; dont overexert yourself. really

how many of them also smoke cigarettes??

 

[bbing]

... Anything else is pure bullshit and fucked up parenting that will boomerang on your ass and we all know it.

Skilled incompetence mean anything to you?
How would you know? You know everything else?

 

[808kahumai]

Since the herb has many uses in my household as clothing, baskets, paper, food, cosmetics, lotion, medicine and the like, my children place it in the same catagory as kava and bamboo. It is a special plant with many uses.