When to tell your kids about pot?

[bakelite]

I am looking for advice, suggestions, comments etc. regarding when, how and what to tell my kids about cannabis use. Should I wait until he is older and be honest about it, but tell him that he can't tell his friends/teachers etc? Should I never disclose it and hope that he never finds out? I am open to any feedback. BTW, I live in a the US in a state that is less than cannabis friendly.
Thanks,
-bakelite

 

[melvin2]

I just told my 13 yr old daughter this summer, but she lives in a different state for the rest of the year. Her family there smokes, drinks and does other drugs. Since she's grown up with it over there, I knew it wouldn't be hard for her to understand my reasons. My wife has multiple sclerosis and uses it medically in a non-friendly to cannabis state. I use it for reasons I consider medical. I smoke all day, wife smokes when she's not at work.

Before you go telling your kid all your secrets, let me tell you that my daughter is extremely intelligent, well behaved, and has solid goals in life she set on her own at a young age. If the situation were different or if she didn't have these qualities I might have kept it hidden longer.

If your kid is over-emotional, think twice about telling I'd say. If your kid still behaves like a child, I would keep it hidden longer. Maturation is different with all kids I think.

 

[bakelite]

Thx Melvin! This is exactly the type of response I have been looking for. This is precisely the reason I posted in this forum to get some feedback from those old enough to have experience. My son is only 8 now but fairly intelligent himself. He will catch on eventually as I grow and have many books on the subject etc. I use partially for med (sleep, back pain, stomach and anxiety), but partially for recreation as well. I have a real good trustworthy relationship with him right now and would like to keep it that way. I guess that is why I sometimes struggle with this issue in my own head. I want to do the right thing by not telling him more than he can handle for his age, but at the same time I don't want to jeopardize our relationship by trying to pull the wool over his eyes for too long. Thanks again for sharing you experience and for the advise.
-bakelite

 

[Monad]

Information and lots of it, the truth about it from you is better than misinformation for someone else.
Tell it like it is. The truth cannot fail.

When pot was legal here in canada for a bit, use by younger kids highschool etc went down a lot, a lot of kids use it irresponsibly b/c its a taboo....[which it really isn't.]

IMO:
Its natural to want to alter the state of your mind, and its good for it too (every animal has a drug of choice, I have to barter with the squirrels/deer and snails for wild mushrooms LOL).
Weed is a sacred plant, and should be used as a meditative/learning tool..SHAMANISM...rasta anyone?

Educate ur kids about the legality, how much is ok to have (a dime say), tell them about the social stigma attached, whats legal isnt always good for you and whats illegal isn't always bad for you, common sense and your intuition is what they should follow. Hell, go one step further and explain why it is illegal - (mexican hating harold anslanger)

Imo the first time they smoke should be with you or under your supervision at home.

I've introduced my friends bro (13-14y/o) to it, and it went down much better than if he had tried to find out for himself with his friends, I've always found they are excited to have someone teaching them about it and really take on a responsible outlook about the whole thing. I always tell them to get it from me rather than a dealer (safety) and they seem to like it that way. I became like a mentor to that kid he'd come to me with his questions and liked it a lot when I'd smoke with him, he'd get all ready like we were having a party lol and just ask me questions the whole damn time.

I remember when I was younger and the police came to our school to do a presentation about drugs...it was right f'd.
I remember thinking...this can't be right? A mushroom that makes you tear your skin off and rip your eyes out? why? how? and when you'd ask they'd give you such bs answers. I could tell something was wrong... that they didn't know what they were talking about.
After that I had the urge to find out what was up, why they couldn't answer my questions, and why the mushroom grew on earth....if it makes you tear your eyes out than why would someone eat it????
SO Confusing as a kid.
Its just f'd to let your kid learn from the law enforcement - the need to get information from an honest source.

 

[mikecar312]

i have a kid about to turn 8, not my biological but i've had the opportunity to watch him grow since he was 2. i use to say that i would speak to him and treat him like an adult - i expected him to understand adult situations by trying to explain it in simple terms. i feel that many parents think their kids are super smart, i think my kid is super smart too but then i realized - he's still a KID. he still forgets his manners, and has trouble with 3-digit addition, and forgets many of the things i teach him and sometimes does things that don't make sense. i realize he's 7 going on 8. at this age, he's got enough to worry about with school, playing and learning how to take care of himself and basically figuring out how life works. life is simple at that age, i feel he doesn't need to be bothered with the marijuana subject.

presuming you don't live in an urban area (which i don't) where kids learn a little quicker than the rest, the average 8 year old should be going into or in 4th grade concentrating on his script, multiplication, tv, games, friends and most importantly manners and honesty. i think 8 is still a tender age for many children when you should be enforcing stuff like lying and stealing is wrong and a good understanding of common sense like the other guy said, and leave out the m.j. politics.

i don't have first hand experience with an adolescent teen yet, i believe that is when you should start worrying about this situation since they are way more curious and rebellious during that time. but presuming you're an excellent parent during the younger ages, this time should be easier.. at least that's my plan.

like the other poster says - he's learning about drugs in school. JUST SAY NO! - about all the bad things that happen when people take drugs and all the bad people involved in drugs. but IMO - unless you got gangsters coming to your crib or have guns lying around ready to let off or you are ripping your face off cause your doing drugs or whatever nonsense is associated with drugs - i feel that its hard for an 8 year old to put that image they give out in school and relate it to your grow or lifestyle.

i'm still about 1 year behind you and probably a lot younger than you too but this is my plan.

 

[satanikmekanik]

hey bakelite,
When me and my wife first got together the word "damn" was highly taboo! So it took alittle bit to get her to see the truth about mj. As far as the kids go they were 5 & 7 in the begining a little young for something like that (especialy as sheltered as they were), but about 7th grade (I think) they started to get educated by the school and asking questions, so we sat them down and told them the truth. They were fine with that. One said not the way of life he wants (this same kid is trying to become a preacher), the other on the other hand is sitting in jail right now because he was on probation for mj and got hit with a dirty u.a.. Did we expose him to soon? No, I dont think so. He just fell to peer pressure and got stuck. It just really depends on the maturity of your child, in my opinion anyway!

 

[bakelite]

Thanks again for the feedback guys. So far everything seems to be inline +/- with what I have been thinking. Responsibility and accountability with everything seems to be key, and this goes for cannabis use as well. I am prepared to counter the mis/disinformation that will be told to them regarding "drug education" in public schools. I wish there was a better way to educate kids (publicly) about drugs in general. They seem to be so ignorant and misinformed. What they are teaching is not working just look at the current rampant abuse of meth, oxy and heroin. Too many kids seem to be getting hooked and f*cking dying from this sh!t !!! It seems the man is at least partially responsible for this IMOH.

 

[oldpink]

I've never hidden it from my kids
my son recently started smoking himself but as he's 18 I don't have a problem with that

 

[satanikmekanik]

Yeah when my younger one started smoking we sat him down again and then told him of the legal reprocussions why he needs to hide etc,etc. Yet, he still wound up taking some to school and got popped. Basically give them all you can and hope they use it correctly.

 

[Midnite Rambler]

My boy always was a rebellious little bugger and has seemingly rejected everything that his dear ol' Dad represents. He's in his 3rd year of university studying to become a vet, doesn't use any drugs, tells me off about my guerilla growing activities, and is a real decent guy. I tried my best to get him to accept my own brand of anarchy and atheism but no, he had to go his own way, I hang my head in shame and worry about what he'll do next. Someday in the non-too-distant future I fear he'll probably marry some young women who isn't even pregnant and end up going to church on Sundays. Kids! They always let yer down.

 

[Monad]

I'd have to say I'd be disappointed if my kid opposed my growing....

My dad told me about drugs (marywanna ok - heroin bad) when I was way too young... I didn't understand what he was talking about and don't really remember half of what he said.... I remember him saying don't tell your mother I told you that (probably that it wasn't bad to use pot - my mom wouldn't have been happy about that altho now shes ok with it), and then running to mom to tell her all about it LOL.

 

[satanikmekanik]

Don't ya'll hate it when they grow up decent and right?

 

[curts1]

My kids haven´t caught on yet and I´m growing close to home... One day they will notice something and I´ll tell them about the medical use AND about a responsible rec use.

But they are so well behaved...luckily they´re music is good!

Lot´s of metal and 70´s stuff...

 

[southflorida]

i will be honest....I smoked with my son when he turned 16 y.o.....about two years ago

many of his friends smoked pot starting from 14 and he said he wanted to try it...so I figure it be better he tried it at home and some quality product...lol

with him me and my wife have always been honest....maybe because of really bad results with our older daughter...from who we hid all bad things in this life

 

[Midnite Rambler]

We, the wife and I, always called the stuff that went in the joints "tobacco." so mummy made cigarettes with tobacco in them, and Daddy smoked tobacco in his pipe. Then, when he was about 8-9 years old, they had a anti-smoking campaign aimed at getting kids to get their parents to stop smoking. The kids had to write down the bad effects such as horrible ashtrays, coughing and making the place stink, my boy wrote that "tobacco makes my Daddys' eyes go red."

 

[Maj.PotHead]

I've never hidden it from my kids
my son recently started smoking himself but as he's 18 I don't have a problem with that

i also have never hid this from both my boys i raised them to know differance between right and wrong. they where raised knowing not to snitch during Dare classes lmao. when both turned 14 i sat them down and offered them to smoke canibis in the house, reason being is i would much rather be in control. then have them out on the streets where they can get into trouble, my eldest turned down but my youngest said hell yea fire that byitch up pops lmao. youngest is now almost 20 i didnt start actually smoken with him untill like he was 16. but untill then he got the roachs to smoke in his bedroom never except 2 friends best friends did he smoke with kids. never the neghborhood kids never ever ever lol


just do yourself a favor dont Lie dont hide to smoke because right now you'll get away with it. later if he catchs ya you'll be a laier in his eyes.

i raised both my kids to not snitch and tell truths no lies

heck when i met my wife 21 yrs ago i said i drink smoke pot and do drugs {coke mushrooms acid} got a problem with it ??. lol she said no well i stopped drugs w/in 1st 2 yrs stoped drinking in sept 1991, but will never stop smoken canibis she's accepted this and can live with it.

g/l on your decission just pls dont hide it from them or lie about it if ever cought later down road it wont look good in there eyes.

 

[Monad]

The kids had to write down the bad effects such as horrible ashtrays, coughing and making the place stink, my boy wrote that "tobacco makes my Daddys' eyes go red."

Priceless
....thats a name for a song - tobacco makes my daddys eyes go red lol

 

[Tony Aroma]

I guess my philosophy is a bit different than most here. I believe in not telling my kids anything that they can later use against me. I don't want to be in a position having to tell my kids not to do something that they know I do or did.

I've never flat out told my kids what I did in my younger days or what I do now. On the other hand, I've never denied anything and never lied to them about anything. They have a pretty good idea that I did some drugs when I was in college, although I've never confirmed it. AFAIK, they have no idea I smoke now, not even cigarettes. It's easier since they don't live with me.

My youngest son is now 16 and is a straight-A student and has no interest in any drugs (just girls). My oldest, now 20, started getting in trouble at school for pot and alcohol at around 16-17. He almost got kicked out of college his first year. I've talked to him many times about this stuff and told him the main problem I have with him drinking and smoking is the law, which is true. Although he's a bright kid, he's amazingly stupid about some things. I wouldn't mind really if he smoked a little weed (better than drinking), if he would just do it responsibly and discretely. I've told him this. Other than those problems, he's a good kid, does pretty well in school, and doesn't get in any other kind of trouble.

So I try to be open and honest about these things, without bringing my own personal behavior into the discussion. It's just not relevant. My kids can see from my behavior that I am a responsible adult, and that's enough.

 

[Stoner4Life]

well for starters I wouldn't be lettin' on how good this stuff is until he's old enough to be affordin' to pay for his own.......

christ all friday! that'd be all I needed, another set of lungs to feed

 

[Midnite Rambler]

well for starters I wouldn't be lettin' on how good this stuff is until he's old enough to be affordin' to pay for his own.......

christ all friday! that'd be all I needed, another set of lungs to feed

Hell yes, bad enough that they cost a small fortune to raise and when they're bigger darn near eat us out of house and home, but I'll be buggered if my stash tin is to be considered as available as the stuff in the fridge/freezer. I can live with discovering that the ice-cream has all disappeared but there would be domestic violence aplenty if all my weed had gone.