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This reminds me of a very old Funny News event I experienced personally in 1981-82, back in the good old days when 'phone sex' was just taking off.
..... anyhow, I had a house with roomates, one of whom was a muscian who wanted to make some money teaching music and piano.
So he puts an advertisement for 'Ear Training' in the local underground paper with my telephone number.
Unfortunately this tiny lil advert doesn't get put in the Music section but ends up in the Sex/Personals section right above a very large ad promising everything but missing a number to call!!! GRrrr
....... so for the next 6 mos. I got all kinds of interesting calls from all kinds of interesting people with all kinds of interesting stories to tell.
I had a lot of fun with that one!
got my own funny phone sex story Giggles, right back in those same days.
Early on in the phone sex gig you could call these 976 phone #'s and there would be a 30 second recorded commercial of a chick having an orgasm, it was a come on for you to call their 800# w/your credit card for the 'real deal, live.' So the 976 teaser worked for 25 cents from any payphone. The bars payphone was in an enclosed entry, you often couldn't hear the phone ringing
Walking into the bar for work one night I saw Stu @ the bar drinking, he was a local biker as was I, so I dialed 976-252....... "Hey STU! phone for you!" I called out before dialing that last '5' in the phone number. He & I passed each other as he answered that call.
When I walked into the bar I quickly whispered... "I called the sex line!" & I imitated a girl having a big 'O' everyone got the joke and laughed a bit, being only a little bit funny, until.......
10 seconds later Stu burst through the door back into the bar, all wild eyed and screams "It's my mom!... it's my mom!.... it's my mom!" And of course the entire bar just busts out laughing knowing it was a sex call
Why would he think an orgasmic babe was his mom we're thinking... well poor ol' Stu thought it was his mother having a heart attack!He'd hung up in shock before the gals recording told him to call back w/a credit card# @ the end of the 30 second teaser call. Stu couldn't understand why we were laughing @ him and it took him 4-5 mins to calm down and let the truth sink in, that gag couldn't have worked out any better. I told that story @ every biker event we both attended.......
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A 69-year-old pensioner who says he has the body of a 45-year-old is taking action to legally change his age to improve his job prospects and luck with women on Tinder.
Dutch entrepreneur Emile Ratelband is hoping he will be able to change his date of birth from 11 March 1949 to 11 March 1969 after his doctors said he had the body of someone more than 20 years younger than himself.
He argues if transgender people are legally allowed to change their sex then he should be allowed to change his age.
The self-help guru - who described himself as a "young god" - is taking action against his local authority after it refused to change his age on official documents.
Mr Ratelband told De Telegraaf: "You can change your name. You can change your gender. Why not your age? Nowhere are you so discriminated against as with your age."
The entrepreneur said his legal age affected his employment opportunities as well as his love life.
Dutch entrepreneur Emile Ratelband is hoping he will be able to change his date of birth from 11 March 1949 to 11 March 1969 after his doctors said he had the body of someone more than 20 years younger than himself.
He argues if transgender people are legally allowed to change their sex then he should be allowed to change his age.
The self-help guru - who described himself as a "young god" - is taking action against his local authority after it refused to change his age on official documents.
Mr Ratelband told De Telegraaf: "You can change your name. You can change your gender. Why not your age? Nowhere are you so discriminated against as with your age."
The entrepreneur said his legal age affected his employment opportunities as well as his love life.
Charges for disqualified driver who allegedly used mobility scooter to tow boat
Charges for disqualified driver who allegedly used mobility scooter to tow boat
A disqualified NSW driver has been charged with a string of offences after allegedly using a mobility scooter to tow his boat.
Police said the man towed the vessel on October 19, along the Pacific Highway through the lakeside suburb of Belmont, south of Newcastle.
The 35-year-old now faces charges of driving whilst disqualified, using an unregistered vehicle on the road, using an uninsured vehicle on the road, and using an unregistered trailer on the road.
At the time of the incident the man told the media he had wanted to go fishing, but could not drive a car, because he had lost his licence.
The man is due to face court in January.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-11...y-using-mobility-scooter-to-tow-boat/10497606
Charges for disqualified driver who allegedly used mobility scooter to tow boat
A disqualified NSW driver has been charged with a string of offences after allegedly using a mobility scooter to tow his boat.
Police said the man towed the vessel on October 19, along the Pacific Highway through the lakeside suburb of Belmont, south of Newcastle.
The 35-year-old now faces charges of driving whilst disqualified, using an unregistered vehicle on the road, using an uninsured vehicle on the road, and using an unregistered trailer on the road.
At the time of the incident the man told the media he had wanted to go fishing, but could not drive a car, because he had lost his licence.
The man is due to face court in January.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-11...y-using-mobility-scooter-to-tow-boat/10497606
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Raccoons drunk on crab apples cause rabid animal scare in West Virginia
Raccoons drunk on crab apples cause rabid animal scare in West Virginia
Police warned residents to be aware of the "staggering and disoriented" animals and told them not to approach any they might encounter.
A couple of raccoons in West Virginia aren't rabid, they're just "drunk," police say.
Officers in Milton, West Virginia, received a pair of calls this week about raccoons suspected of having rabies. Upon finding the fury creatures, it "turns out they appear to be drunk on crabapples," the department said in a Facebook post.
Police warned residents to be aware of the "staggering and disoriented" animals and told them not to approach any they might encounter.
Officers were able to capture to two raccoons they received calls about and returned them safely to the woods, the department said.
The case of these raccoons isn't the first time "drunk" animals have caused a stir in a community. In October, birds in Gilbert, Minnesota, were acting "tipsy" — flying into windows, cars and staggering down streets, police said. The department said those birds had eaten berries that fermented earlier than usual because of an early frost.
Raccoons drunk on crab apples cause rabid animal scare in West Virginia
Police warned residents to be aware of the "staggering and disoriented" animals and told them not to approach any they might encounter.
A couple of raccoons in West Virginia aren't rabid, they're just "drunk," police say.
Officers in Milton, West Virginia, received a pair of calls this week about raccoons suspected of having rabies. Upon finding the fury creatures, it "turns out they appear to be drunk on crabapples," the department said in a Facebook post.
Police warned residents to be aware of the "staggering and disoriented" animals and told them not to approach any they might encounter.
Officers were able to capture to two raccoons they received calls about and returned them safely to the woods, the department said.
The case of these raccoons isn't the first time "drunk" animals have caused a stir in a community. In October, birds in Gilbert, Minnesota, were acting "tipsy" — flying into windows, cars and staggering down streets, police said. The department said those birds had eaten berries that fermented earlier than usual because of an early frost.
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The 'Gravensteen' is a medieval castle in the Belgian city of Ghent, a city also housing one of Belgium's two major universities (the other one being in Leuven). On November 16th, 1949, students decided to enter and occupy the castle. Legend has it they did so to protest the higher beer prices as well as the decision of the police force to change the colour of their hats from white to blue which would make it more difficult to distinguish them from say postman and taxi drivers. The students had made various banners with slogans protesting the new beer prices and police hats, but officially claimed it was all just a joke out of boredom.
In the end, the students occupied the castle an entire afternoon and spent the day throwing fruit and smoke bombs at the police and fire brigade who had come to shut down the "Battle of the Gravensteen". Under pressure of the public opinion who thought it was a funny act, none of the students were prosecuted or punished for these actions.
It is still to this day seen as the greatest student joke of all time and is commemorated on a yearly basis with a parade and other festivities.
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lamenamenumbers
Member
That was one of This is Thats best stories in terms of people and actual news outlets believing it. This is that is a soon to be done CBC radio program that makes up the news and mocks Canadian radio documentary. Check it out if you guys want some good laughs. Although there is a lot of material that probably won't be as funny if you aren't Canadian.
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make up any news story to go along with this guy's stupid mug, one look @ him & I'd believe anything.
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73-year-old woman worried about meth she was smoking asked doctor to test it
73-year-old woman worried about meth she was smoking asked doctor to test it
73-year-old woman worried about meth she was smoking asked doctor to test it
POLK COUNTY, Fla. - A 73-year-old Florida woman wanted to make sure what she was smoking was really methamphetamine, so she took the drugs to her doctor for testing.
Polk County resident Barbara Lee Ray said she was “scared” of what smoking it was doing to her, according to the Miami Herald, which cited an arrest affidavit, and brought her doctor at the Complete Care Family Medicine Associates office in Fort Meade two clear plastic bags containing a crystal-like substance on Nov. 5.
Both bags tested positive for meth, the Herald reported.
Although it was unclear how she obtained the drug or why she was smoking it, she did tell her doctor she’s been smoking meth for about a month.
Ray was arrested and booked into the Polk County Jail on charges of methamphetamine possession and possession of drug paraphernalia, the newspaper said.
The arrest warrant said Ray, who was released from jail on Nov. 7, appeared to be under the influence of the drug when she was taken into custody.
Polk County resident Barbara Lee Ray said she was “scared” of what smoking it was doing to her, according to the Miami Herald, which cited an arrest affidavit, and brought her doctor at the Complete Care Family Medicine Associates office in Fort Meade two clear plastic bags containing a crystal-like substance on Nov. 5.
Both bags tested positive for meth, the Herald reported.
Although it was unclear how she obtained the drug or why she was smoking it, she did tell her doctor she’s been smoking meth for about a month.
Ray was arrested and booked into the Polk County Jail on charges of methamphetamine possession and possession of drug paraphernalia, the newspaper said.
The arrest warrant said Ray, who was released from jail on Nov. 7, appeared to be under the influence of the drug when she was taken into custody.
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Scientists work to save wild Puerto Rican parrot after Maria
Scientists work to save wild Puerto Rican parrot after Maria
In this Nov. 6, 2018 photo, Puerto Rican parrots huddle in one of the flight cages located in the facilities of the Iguaca Aviary at El Yunque, were the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service runs a parrot recovery program in collaboration with the U.S. Forest Service and the Department of Natural and Environmental Resources, in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico. Biologists are trying to save the last of the endangered Puerto Rican parrots after more than half the population of birds disappeared when Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico and destroyed their habitat and food sources.
Biologists are trying to save the last of the endangered Puerto Rican parrots after more than half the population of the bright green birds with turquoise-tipped wings disappeared when Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico and destroyed their habitat and food sources.
In the tropical forest of El Yunque, only two of the 56 wild birds that once lived there survived the Category 4 storm that pummeled the U.S. territory in September 2017. Meanwhile, only 4 of 31 wild birds in a forest in the western town of Maricao survived, along with 75 out of 134 wild parrots living in the Rio Abajo forest in the central mountains of Puerto Rico, scientists said.
And while several dozen new parrots have been born in captivity and in the wild since Maria, the species is still in danger, according to scientists.
"We have a lot of work to do," said Gustavo Olivieri, parrot recovery program coordinator for Puerto Rico's Department of Natural Resources.
Federal and local scientists will meet next month to debate how best to revive a species that numbered more than 1 million in the 1800s but dwindled to 13 birds during the 1970s after decades of forest clearing.
The U.S. and Puerto Rican governments launched a program in 1972 that eventually led to the creation of three breeding centers. Just weeks before Maria hit, scientists reported 56 wild birds at El Yunque, the highest since the program was launched.
But the population decline is now especially worrisome because the parrots that vanished from El Yunque were some of the last remaining wild ones, said Marisel Lopez, who oversees the parrot recovery program at El Yunque for the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.
"It was devastating. After so many years of having worked on this project...," she stopped talking and sighed.
The Puerto Rican Amazon is Puerto Rico's only remaining native parrot and is one of roughly 30 species of Amazon parrots found in the Americas. The red-foreheaded birds grow to nearly a foot in length, are known for their secrecy and usually mate for life, reproducing once a year.
More than 460 birds remain captive at the breeding centers in El Yunque and Rio Abajo forests, but scientists have not released any of them since Hurricane Maria. A third breeding center in a forest in the western rural town of Maricao has not operated since the storm. Scientists are now trying to determine the best way to prepare the parrots for release since there are such few birds in the wild they can interact with, and whether Puerto Rico's damaged forests can sustain them.
In this Nov. 6, 2018 photo, Puerto Rican parrots eat inside one of the flight cages located in the facilities of the Iguaca Aviary at El Yunque, were the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service runs a parrot recovery program in collaboration with the U.S. Forest Service and the Department of Natural and Environmental Resources, in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico. While several dozen new parrots have been born in captivity and in the wild since Hurricane Maria, the species is still in danger, according to scientists
One proposal scientists will consider is whether to capture some of the remaining wild parrots in the Rio Abajo forest and place them in the same cage as birds that will be released to the wild, so they can learn to emulate their social behavior to ensure their survival, said Jafet Velez, a wildlife biologist with U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.
Scientists are tentatively planning to release 20 birds next year in Rio Abajo.
Another proposal is to release more parrots in Maricao, which was not as heavily damaged by Maria.
"Our priority now is not reproduction...it's to start releasing them," Lopez said, adding that breeding centers can hold only so many parrots.
But first, scientists need to make sure the forests can offer food and safe shelter.
Jessica Ilse, a forest biologist at el Yunque for the U.S. Forest Service, said scientists are collecting data about the amount of fruit falling from trees and the number of leaves shed. She said the canopy still has not grown back since Maria and warned that invasive species have taken root since more sunlight now shines through. Ilse said that many of the large trees where parrots used to nest are now gone and noted that it took 14 months for El Yunque's canopy to close after Hurricane Hugo hit Puerto Rico in 1989 as a Category 3 storm.
Scientists also are now collecting new data on the number of predators at El Yunque, including el guaraguao, a red-tailed hawk that hunts Puerto Rico parrots. Without a canopy and proper camouflage, wild parrots have become an easy target.
Ilse said local and federal scientists plan to help the forest recover through planting. By the end of November, they expect to have a map detailing the most damaged areas in El Yunque and a list of tree species they can plant that are more resistant to hurricanes.
"People keep asking us, 'How long is it going to take?'" Ilse said.
But scientists don't know, she added.
"The damage is more extensive than (hurricanes) Hugo and Georges...It's been a complete change to the ecosystem.
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In this Nov. 6, 2018 photo, a Puerto Rican parrot eats inside one of the flight cages located in the facilities of the Iguaca Aviary at El Yunque, were the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service runs a parrot recovery program in collaboration with the U.S. Forest Service and the Department of Natural and Environmental Resources, in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico. More than 460 birds remain captive at the breeding centers in El Yunque and Rio Abajo forests, but scientists have not released any of them since Hurricane Maria.
Source: https://phys.org/news/2018-11-scientists-wild-puerto-rican-parrot.html
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Scientists work to save wild Puerto Rican parrot after Maria
In this Nov. 6, 2018 photo, Puerto Rican parrots huddle in one of the flight cages located in the facilities of the Iguaca Aviary at El Yunque, were the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service runs a parrot recovery program in collaboration with the U.S. Forest Service and the Department of Natural and Environmental Resources, in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico. Biologists are trying to save the last of the endangered Puerto Rican parrots after more than half the population of birds disappeared when Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico and destroyed their habitat and food sources.
Biologists are trying to save the last of the endangered Puerto Rican parrots after more than half the population of the bright green birds with turquoise-tipped wings disappeared when Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico and destroyed their habitat and food sources.
In the tropical forest of El Yunque, only two of the 56 wild birds that once lived there survived the Category 4 storm that pummeled the U.S. territory in September 2017. Meanwhile, only 4 of 31 wild birds in a forest in the western town of Maricao survived, along with 75 out of 134 wild parrots living in the Rio Abajo forest in the central mountains of Puerto Rico, scientists said.
And while several dozen new parrots have been born in captivity and in the wild since Maria, the species is still in danger, according to scientists.
"We have a lot of work to do," said Gustavo Olivieri, parrot recovery program coordinator for Puerto Rico's Department of Natural Resources.
Federal and local scientists will meet next month to debate how best to revive a species that numbered more than 1 million in the 1800s but dwindled to 13 birds during the 1970s after decades of forest clearing.
The U.S. and Puerto Rican governments launched a program in 1972 that eventually led to the creation of three breeding centers. Just weeks before Maria hit, scientists reported 56 wild birds at El Yunque, the highest since the program was launched.
But the population decline is now especially worrisome because the parrots that vanished from El Yunque were some of the last remaining wild ones, said Marisel Lopez, who oversees the parrot recovery program at El Yunque for the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.
"It was devastating. After so many years of having worked on this project...," she stopped talking and sighed.
The Puerto Rican Amazon is Puerto Rico's only remaining native parrot and is one of roughly 30 species of Amazon parrots found in the Americas. The red-foreheaded birds grow to nearly a foot in length, are known for their secrecy and usually mate for life, reproducing once a year.
More than 460 birds remain captive at the breeding centers in El Yunque and Rio Abajo forests, but scientists have not released any of them since Hurricane Maria. A third breeding center in a forest in the western rural town of Maricao has not operated since the storm. Scientists are now trying to determine the best way to prepare the parrots for release since there are such few birds in the wild they can interact with, and whether Puerto Rico's damaged forests can sustain them.
In this Nov. 6, 2018 photo, Puerto Rican parrots eat inside one of the flight cages located in the facilities of the Iguaca Aviary at El Yunque, were the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service runs a parrot recovery program in collaboration with the U.S. Forest Service and the Department of Natural and Environmental Resources, in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico. While several dozen new parrots have been born in captivity and in the wild since Hurricane Maria, the species is still in danger, according to scientists
One proposal scientists will consider is whether to capture some of the remaining wild parrots in the Rio Abajo forest and place them in the same cage as birds that will be released to the wild, so they can learn to emulate their social behavior to ensure their survival, said Jafet Velez, a wildlife biologist with U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.
Scientists are tentatively planning to release 20 birds next year in Rio Abajo.
Another proposal is to release more parrots in Maricao, which was not as heavily damaged by Maria.
"Our priority now is not reproduction...it's to start releasing them," Lopez said, adding that breeding centers can hold only so many parrots.
But first, scientists need to make sure the forests can offer food and safe shelter.
Jessica Ilse, a forest biologist at el Yunque for the U.S. Forest Service, said scientists are collecting data about the amount of fruit falling from trees and the number of leaves shed. She said the canopy still has not grown back since Maria and warned that invasive species have taken root since more sunlight now shines through. Ilse said that many of the large trees where parrots used to nest are now gone and noted that it took 14 months for El Yunque's canopy to close after Hurricane Hugo hit Puerto Rico in 1989 as a Category 3 storm.
Scientists also are now collecting new data on the number of predators at El Yunque, including el guaraguao, a red-tailed hawk that hunts Puerto Rico parrots. Without a canopy and proper camouflage, wild parrots have become an easy target.
Ilse said local and federal scientists plan to help the forest recover through planting. By the end of November, they expect to have a map detailing the most damaged areas in El Yunque and a list of tree species they can plant that are more resistant to hurricanes.
"People keep asking us, 'How long is it going to take?'" Ilse said.
But scientists don't know, she added.
"The damage is more extensive than (hurricanes) Hugo and Georges...It's been a complete change to the ecosystem.
In this Nov. 6, 2018 photo, a Puerto Rican parrot eats inside one of the flight cages located in the facilities of the Iguaca Aviary at El Yunque, were the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service runs a parrot recovery program in collaboration with the U.S. Forest Service and the Department of Natural and Environmental Resources, in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico. More than 460 birds remain captive at the breeding centers in El Yunque and Rio Abajo forests, but scientists have not released any of them since Hurricane Maria.
Source: https://phys.org/news/2018-11-scientists-wild-puerto-rican-parrot.html
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