He ain't no real Bond mate - just some paid actor - you are not allowed - under pain of eventual death - to even mention the name of such an entity - <I didn't say any of that> Shhhhh!
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The Original O'l Farts Club.
- Thread starter Putembk
- Start date
Amen.had to look that one up ya bastiages…I know zero about the lord of the rings but I know a lot about the Lord Most High…
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busting out a sack of TrashBerry (TriangleKush x Oregon Hashplant) x Blueberry Indica from the 2022 harvest
strong medicine , I am doing some framing and Sheetrock project under the influence , taking some measurements down to an 1/8 th of an inch , operating a worm drive Skillsaw , and busting screws with my DeWalt screw gun
all under the influence mind you
strong medicine , I am doing some framing and Sheetrock project under the influence , taking some measurements down to an 1/8 th of an inch , operating a worm drive Skillsaw , and busting screws with my DeWalt screw gun
all under the influence mind you
What have you been smoking.....Oh, you are into the wax again.
you mean for sugar?
TrashBerry (TriangleKush x Oregon Hashplant) x Blueberry Indica from the 2022 harvest
from goat and monkey….good chit mang
home is where i want to beWell - Mrs Nirvana (she who must be obeyed) - is gonna show up on the morrow afters -
- so if you did actually send any salicious-shameless-strumpet nurses - to ease what ails me - then I suggest you get'em all rounded up and put in a paddock somewhere - before she graces St Thomas's Hospital - once again - or there will be hell to pay-
"feet on the ground, head in the sky... its ok i know nothing is wrong"
high ho! ive got plenty of time
high ho! and youve got light in your eyes
xoxo mrs.chicky
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I have been out doing yard work ....... please excuse my short absence. Couldn't mow the back as there is still snow there. Slowly but surely the place is starting to come around.
Telephone company is putting a fiber optics cable right through my yard. Looks like my garden as well. I can't stop them because of the easement but they better get done before it is time to plant my garden. War will just be declared.
Gonna spend the rest of the day fargen off. Nuggets beat the Lakers last night for the 9th straight time and the Avs play tonight. At least it's something to do.
Telephone company is putting a fiber optics cable right through my yard. Looks like my garden as well. I can't stop them because of the easement but they better get done before it is time to plant my garden. War will just be declared.
Gonna spend the rest of the day fargen off. Nuggets beat the Lakers last night for the 9th straight time and the Avs play tonight. At least it's something to do.
Well then - you should give 'is-nibs' turpitude back to him then - or the Rozzers might show up with a moral turpitude warrant - at your gaff - and file charges - if they actually find it - that is -That wasnt my “turpitude”. I was just holding it for a friend,
- best advice you can get - on this side of the pond matey -
OleReynard
Well-known member
Piece of cake Espicially under the influence
Yeah - found that out about 20 year ago Unca - a few hours into a 12 hour long 'sleeve' tattoo - went in completely sober - and stayed completely sober - throughout - ended up raising my pain threshold - by quite a few notches -
- and on 2 - you are absolutely correct - after starving my body of pain meds - it had got used to for nigh on a week - it didn't like it - and was very happy - when I gave the meds back again -
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Hey. I'm the guy that plays the Doctor's Daddy around here. Dr. Scooter says you can drink all the beer you want... provided it has already gone through the horse.
A trucker goes into a whorehouse and hands the Madam five hundred dollars.
He says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich."
The Madam says, "For that kind of money, you could have one of my finest girls and surf and turf."
The trucker says, "I ain't horny, I'm homesick"
He says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich."
The Madam says, "For that kind of money, you could have one of my finest girls and surf and turf."
The trucker says, "I ain't horny, I'm homesick"
Not a chance. It was all promise and no pussy. The Cortez mine has produced a million ounces of gold. So far.does the Lost Dutchman Mine count?..
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new," says the hairy man, "it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him. The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, "May I help you?" she says. The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee." "But, Sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities." The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day."
Hey Gypsy!!! You look like the knight blocking the path.
"Wot? That's just a scratch!"
___________________
A little encouragement
Are you over 65?
Check out the article below. It's, I say Very interesting. Then do the tests at the end.
The one item that jumped out at me is the percentage of people in the world who live to be over 65! If you are reading this e-mail I guess you are one of the few fortunate people. Read below for all the details.
Earth's Population Statistics in Perspective
The population of Earth is around 7.8 Billion.
For most people, it is a significant figure. However, if you condensed 7.8 billion into 100 persons, and then into various percentage statistics, the resulting analysis is much easier to comprehend.
Out of 100 :
11 are in Europe
5 are in North America
9 are in South America
15 are in Africa
60 are in Asia
49 live in the countryside
51 live in cities
75 have mobile phones
25 do not.
30 have internet access
70 do not have the availability to go online
83 can read
17 are illiterate.
33 are Christians
22 are Muslims
14 are Hindus
7 are Buddhists
12 are other religions
12 have no religious beliefs.
26 live less than 14 years
66 died between 15 - 64 years of age
8 are over 65 years old.
If you have your own home,
Eat full meals & drink clean water,
Have a mobile phone,
Can surf the internet, and
have gone to college,
You are in the minuscule privileged lot.
(in the less than 7% category).
Amongst 100 persons in the world, only eight live or exceed the age of 65!
If you are over 65 years old, be content & grateful. Cherish life. Grasp the moment.
If you did not leave this world before the age of 64, like the 92 persons who have gone before you, you are already the blessed amongst humankind.
Take good care of your health. Cherish every remaining moment.
If you think you are suffering memory loss, read on.
Anosognosia - very interesting:
In the following analysis, the French Professor Bruno Dubois, Director of the Institute of Memory and Alzheimer's Disease (IMMA) at La Pitié-Salpêtrière - Paris Hospital addresses the subject in a rather reassuring way:
"If anyone is aware of their memory problems, they do not have Alzheimer's."
1. Forget the names of families.
2. Do not remember where I put some things
It often happens in people 60 years and older that they complain that they lack memory. "The information is always in the brain, it is the "processor" that is lacking."
This is "Anosognosia" or temporary forgetfulness.
Half of people 60 and older have some symptoms that are due to age rather than disease. The most common cases are:
- forgetting the name of a person,
- going to a room in the house and not remembering why we were going there,
- a blank memory for a movie title or actor, an actress,
- a waste of time searching where we left our glasses or keys.
After 60 years most people have such a difficulty, which indicates that it is not a disease, but rather a characteristic due to the
passage of years.
Many people are concerned about these oversights, hence the importance of the following statements:
1."Those who are conscious of being forgetful have no serious problem of memory."
2. "Those who suffer from a memory illness or Alzheimer's, are not aware of what is happening."
Professor Bruno Dubois, Director of IMMA, reassures the majority of people concerned about their oversights:
"The more we complain about memory loss, the less likely we are to suffer from memory sickness."
Now for a little neurological test:
Only use your eyes!
1- Find the C in the table below!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
2- If you found the C, then find the 6 in the table below.
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
3- Now find the N in the table below. Attention, it's a little more difficult!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
If you pass these three tests without problem:
- you can cancel your annual visit to the neurologist.
- your brain is in perfect shape!
- you are far from having any relationship with Alzheimer's.
We are truly blessed, So, share this with your over-55 friends, it can reassure them.
If you are over 65 and complaining about a few aches and pains, think again ......92% of people didn't get that opportunity!!
"So be pleased with your situation and be Happy".
