Quitting all drug use

[LeoNardoDaVinci]

If you think about psychedelics/psychoactive plants or beings like mushrooms as drugs then of course they'll hit ya right back theyre tools not drugs...

I know this, and I consider myself a very spiritual person. I am on a journey of self exploration and truth. I am just being scared shitless by the journey and the tools. I feel like I am seeing too much I guess I just can't handle it at this point in my life.

I guess I am being told to slow down and take it easy for a while. One of my biggest fears is that I never came out of my salvia trip, that I hurt my sister during it and I receeded into my subcon, and people are my thoughts(I have seen this), people are repeating things I have done in the past...is this just life? Was it always like this and I just never noticed till salvia? Are the visions of harm to my sister a sick game of my ego, trying to scare me away from my true self, my true potential for beauty and greatness? I fear during a future trip I may lose control(I always hold control well no matter the mental fatigue it causes) and that scares me so for now I feel it is time to slow down and just stick to herbal for a while, and try and limit it also.

At some point a trip to the wide open great outdoors is in order but I can't take any time off work because I have only been working there 3 months.

Thank you for all your input and concerns my friends, it means alot to me. It is hard to talk to people about this stuff because they think I am saying "you aren't real" but everyone is just as real as I am we are all just super freaking connected and this connectedness sometimes scares the shit out of me and I feel skitzo. Oh also something that worries me is that everything I see in this world isn't really what it seems and the actions I am making are actually causing great harm in the "real" world no matter how good they appear here...crazy I know...guess I have just tripped hard one too many times.

Lastly I had a dream that I just remembered, I don't know if it was last night or the night after the trip. I think I contribute this dream to my sister being on my mind and me saying "I love my sister" over and over throughout the trip and the next day, in my head. Me and my best friend(also my sisters bf) Deezy and my sister are sitting in the living room smoking weed and my sister passes a hit to Deezy via a kiss, and then she does the same to me. It didn't feel sexual at all but I felt a very powerful and beautiful connection with my sister in this dream, as well as my friend Deezy. I always see this pattern that everything can morph into when I trip...and it is me, my sister, and Deezy all connected at the head. It is a weird pattern though and it really trips me out because it is always very prevalent in all of my trips no matter the substance. Anywho, I love you guys and I thank you all for being there.

 

[Farmer John]

I hear you brother, it can be scary shit..after that kind of experience I usually go through my feelings for a long time and I have no need to take another trip immediately, hell, been a year since the last time me thinks lol, and that was roughly 70 liberty caps lets see thats a lot of shrooms.

 

[idontgivenames]

everything in moderation. EVERYTHING. ive done shrooms so many times, im p. cubensis are very abundant in the subtropics. dont do too many of them, it'll fuck wit your head. trust me on that one. ive said iwas gonna quit so many times because i thought drugs are doing me harm all together. they kind of are in a physical sense, smoke is not good for your lungs. drugs arent bad, doing too much of them is. but for some people, even once is enough. so moderation is a very hard thing to keep tab on. i do support your decision of abstinence though, good luck.i believe you'll probably be alot more pleased with what happens in life.

 

[hogwild]

I'm giving away the last of my golden teacher spores to some friends that are sound of mind, and veteran psychonauts.. thus finally ridding me of all psilocybin mushroom associated gear. I feel confident that the mushrooms grown from my spores will not be for profit, but for a close knit group of friends who enjoy the psychedelic experience! It takes about 3 months to cultivate from start to finish, so it will be a while until these friends have solid proof of their mush skills.

Its been a long time since my last large dose and I know I am ready to try it again. This time I will try a diffrent strain that is said to be much more visual than golden teachers... i think ill go for 200 grams wet mushrooms this time, since wet mushrooms are more potent than dry. The plan is, same location, same time as the last trip, to make it even scarier.... This time my buddy will bring a didgeridoo and i will be naked except for a leather jock strap and an indian headdress, playing this didge out in the hills of my small town, dancing like a crazy man and whatnot...hopefully none of the folks who work at the office buildings nearby see me... lol.
Do you guys think its direspectful for me to take mushrooms and wear authentic indian gear? I dont like haunting spirits.

 

[nycdfan042]

no wonder i have this nutball on ignore

 

[marx2k]

Dude, I did the same shit a couple years back. Take a few months to figure shit out, but believe me, life is shit without MJ

Wow. Thats a pretty depressing statement.

 

[marx2k]

I used to grow lots and lots of mushrooms. It's almost too easy not to. The first few times I ever tried mushrooms was on my own homegrown supply and I had no idea what the doseage was so I tried an 8th the first few times. The main problem I have with mushrooms is cycling anxiety-thought loops.

It builds up and up and up to the peak to the point where I am going insane, and then after the peak it's the best time of my life. But getting to the peak is a serious brain hike and it can be awful. Almost every time the experience is my brain talking to me as if it was someone else and we have the most scary discussions. Mainly it's just me listening, but my brain is always saying things like "I will cause a long-lasting depression" "I will force you to hurt yourself" "What are you doing to yourself", etc etc. After the peak, it feels like there are small microbes in my brain folds that are pleasantly tugging at my snapses, causing the most pleasurable mental and physical sensations.

My reaction to LSD is a complete 180 from this. I have never had any problem with LSD. I enjoy every phsyical and mental aspect of LSD. From the jaw clenching to the small vibrations throughout the body, to the mindmelt.. even falling asleep after a heavy trip is amazing. It's like drifting away from consciousness as millions of tiny voices chatter around you. Also, after the peak, on the comedown, with LSD, I see graffitti designs everywhere and it gives me some amazing ideas for some pieces.

Oh if only I could grow LSD

By the way, Hogwild.. my first few batches (and experiences) were Golden Teacher and B+ -- very very wild rides. The GT's were amazingly visual while the B+ was very thought provoking.

 

[CC Rider]

mushrooms are a funny thing, ya know, hummm well i dont know if there funny or not. I have friends that are total into the spirit side of them and i have friends who are just into getting high and being philosophers for a night....i am some where in the middle. ive been growing them on and off for two years or so....

lately i havent been tripping at all, i just realized how completely insane life already was, like really, holy shit!! sometimes i just need to stop myself from thinking about it. its all just soooo out of hand. NO ONE KNOWS ANYTHING!!
live is such a mystery!! i dont really know where im going with this......im kinda high....but i guess what im saying is that its all up to you to take the trips how you want them, or how you interpret them......sorry for the rant.......

CC

 

[Harry Gypsna]

this sounds like exactly wy salvia shouldnt be sold in head shops-its not a recreational drug-sounds like its stemmed from that.......

 

[marx2k]

I have no problem with Salvia being sold in head shops. In fact, I also have no problem with mushrooms being sold in headshops. Or DMT for that matter.

It's the same principle as having drugs legal. Let it be up to the user to decide. People _will_ make bad choices, and that's just one of life's certainties. The best anyone can do is keep people informed of the effects and possible outcomes of the use of these substances and let them make up their mind for themselves.

I've had some horrifying, face-clawing, under-the-blanket-crying times on mushrooms. But I can't say that others shouldn't be able to experience them. Even if they have the same outcome as I have.

Some people do find recreational use in Salvia. I have with small amounts of it. Most people who vaporize the salvia don't consider doing so again for a while. It's just not a daily type of substance. The experience is also amazingly short lived, like the effects of nitrous.

 

[Gangabiss]

LDV, mate....I could write huge paragraphs with my answer to you on this dilemma but it would really be nothing that hasn't already been said.

So I'll say this, order a copy of 'The Vomit Factory' by Alexander T. Newport.

He talks about many of the things you've described that are troubling you.

It's sort of a self help book for the budding philosopher in this shitty world we occupy.
The book is a real trip in itself and it made me realise alot that I hadn't thought of before.
Oh, and he's a stoner also lol

Promise me you'll check it out man.

 

[VictoryGardener]

im kind of the same with weed.. if I smoke some underestimated killer weed.. I keep sayin.. ok I throw in the towel.. enough! I am done with weed! I don't like this at all!.. and then the next week.. Damn! I miss that weed!!

 

[LeoNardoDaVinci]

LDV, mate....I could write huge paragraphs with my answer to you on this dilemma but it would really be nothing that hasn't already been said.

So I'll say this, order a copy of 'The Vomit Factory' by Alexander T. Newport.

He talks about many of the things you've described that are troubling you.

It's sort of a self help book for the budding philosopher in this shitty world we occupy.
The book is a real trip in itself and it made me realise alot that I hadn't thought of before.
Oh, and he's a stoner also lol

Promise me you'll check it out man.

Hey thanks my friend I am going to order me a copy. Just wanted you all to know I am doing much better, my heads back on straight and my hands are at the reigns. Still rocking the ganj, just trying to go easy. Thanks again friends.

 

[Guest]

good to hear you are back with us man. i know of some of the shit you described. i was a bit tripped out myself, i just stick to the herb these days.

 

[Gangabiss]

Very happy to hear you're feeling better now, you just have to ride the rollercoaster man.

Let me know what you think of the book

 

[9Lives]

Dude you are just exchanging one insanity for another...

And the fact that you feel ''doom glooming'' around the corner..is only because deep down inside you know it really is..

I personally like going insane..it proves my point that the difference between sanity and insanity is only a choice..i make no illusions about it. If you can go insane..then you allready are..

 

[daisy jane]

Very nice mushrooms CCRider!! I am considering growing some of my own once I move into my new place.

LeoNardo, Congrats on being back on the wagon...or is it off the wagon. Haha. Good luck and just rock the ganj for awhile

 

[LeoNardoDaVinci]

Dude you are just exchanging one insanity for another...

And the fact that you feel ''doom glooming'' around the corner..is only because deep down inside you know it really is..

I personally like going insane..it proves my point that the difference between sanity and insanity is only a choice..i make no illusions about it. If you can go insane..then you allready are..

It's talk like this that destroy's my sanity but I cannot disprove or deny it's relevance.

 

[mrgrowmez]

leo, my advice...

if you think of trying mushies again? do it by yourself at home when you've got the house to yourself man,
ive had the most terrifying experiences on a saturday eg melting faces, boils and pimples on everything, rats running all over the floor, impending feeling of my own doom etc etc and then loaded up again on sunday when i had the house to myself and stayed up all night frollicking about havning the time of my life.....

what i have found is sometimes the lessons you get from shrooms are light hearted and other times they are dark as satan but keep goin and youll get through them, try a much lighter dose and of course make sure your completey comfortable.....i wait about a year in between shroomings and then hit em 3 times in a short amount of time and then stop again for a year or two......

good luck and dont do anything you cant do yourself out of!

mrg

 

[Guest]

All a mad man needs for inner peace is simply being comfortable in his skin.

Marshall Herff Applewhite, AKA 'DO' proved as much.