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going strong like u mutha fuckin freight train full of elephants(i love elephants). i have had one beer on two occasions. didnt even finish them. i got this bitch by the balls. i know. bitches dont have balls but this one does.
Hope everyone is doing good.My family likes the sober me and you know what,so do I.
Everything is better without the alcohol.I will be two years sober this fall,it scares me to even think about drinking again.Life is to short to waste being drunk all the time.
Happy summer everyone. Indeed a very difficult time for sobriety for sure. I've spent plenty of time in detoxes during this time of yr towards the end of my drinking! Nice place to spend the best time of yr huh. Unfortunately it took those kinds of things along the way, and also prison of all places. I wasted 20 good yrs of my life in a bottle! Then ultimately it almost took my life. I just always got worse and worse. So if you think u have a problem don't be afraid to ask for help. You are doing yourself and the loved ones around you a favor. I hate to see anyone go through that pain.
If I can answer any questions on how to get help or anything whatsoever, please don't hesitate to ask me! I've been through most any situation you can imagine. Not everyone has to hit rock bottom before they get help.
I need to quit. I embarrass myself drunk a lot lately. I'm never hurtful or nasty. I just get lonely when I'm drunk alone. I have noticed a tendency to lie to people when drunk. A lie to spark a conversation, seek attention like a baby I guess?
For example I lied about buying a new jacket to my friend via text because I knew he was into clothes. Dumb, petty shit. I read my texts in the morning and am just flabbergasted; humiliated. How pathetic is that? Does it say something about my "real life" sober disposition?
A big part of me believes that 100% sobriety is 100% certain to offer a less interesting life.
An even bigger part of me regrets the fact- and it is a fact for me now- that I'm not man enough to moderate myself. Deep down I lack respect for sober people. I feel they delude themselves into thinking that they are "above" drinking when in reality they are proving that they aren't strong enough to moderate. It's a thought I can't get past. When I see someone refuse a drink and proclaim that they are "sober" at a party I say "good for you." But I think " this person is weak." I don't want to view myself as weak. But if I can't control my drinking, which I obviously can't, which is worse? Weak alcohol-addicted slob or weak guy getting shit done?
I eat great but my health is falling apart. Acid reflux. Getting fat. Can't even imagine my liver health. Catch me before 2 PM and I'm likely hung over, miserable, on the verge of dry heaving.
I used to love being alone sober. I was great at enjoying my own company. Now, alone and sober = complete and utter boredom. Misery almost.
Not a judgement, just thinking out loud here in total candor. I have good insurance. Maybe it's time for a psychiatrist.