Quit Alcohol - Support Thread

[growsjoe1]

Checkn in...

I'm hanging tough after my last episode. The incident, once again, showed me that alcohol plus me equals trouble.

The good part is that I have forgiven myself and moved on. The worst part is the lingering mistrust and doubt of those I'm closest to.

I'd like to think it was the alcohol talking that night, but there is no escaping the fact that I'm responsible for my actions. I sure don't want a repeat of that night. So for me, not one more drink. No, not even one.

Good to hear everyone doing well.

Whateverman, there is a saying that goes '...you can take the rum out of a fruit cake, but you still have a fruit cake.' I wish you the best.

To everyone else, glad your hanging in there.

joe

 

[Mr.Miner]

I need to quit. I embarrass myself drunk a lot lately. I'm never hurtful or nasty. I just get lonely when I'm drunk alone. I have noticed a tendency to lie to people when drunk. A lie to spark a conversation, seek attention like a baby I guess?

For example I lied about buying a new jacket to my friend via text because I knew he was into clothes. Dumb, petty shit. I read my texts in the morning and am just flabbergasted; humiliated. How pathetic is that? Does it say something about my "real life" sober disposition?

A big part of me believes that 100% sobriety is 100% certain to offer a less interesting life.

An even bigger part of me regrets the fact- and it is a fact for me now- that I'm not man enough to moderate myself. Deep down I lack respect for sober people. I feel they delude themselves into thinking that they are "above" drinking when in reality they are proving that they aren't strong enough to moderate. It's a thought I can't get past. When I see someone refuse a drink and proclaim that they are "sober" at a party I say "good for you." But I think " this person is weak." I don't want to view myself as weak. But if I can't control my drinking, which I obviously can't, which is worse? Weak alcohol-addicted slob or weak guy getting shit done?

I eat great but my health is falling apart. Acid reflux. Getting fat. Can't even imagine my liver health. Catch me before 2 PM and I'm likely hung over, miserable, on the verge of dry heaving.

I used to love being alone sober. I was great at enjoying my own company. Now, alone and sober = complete and utter boredom. Misery almost.

Not a judgement, just thinking out loud here in total candor. I have good insurance. Maybe it's time for a psychiatrist.

I know those feelings, myself. If it is any consolation, the person who gets sober and is able to resist drinking in the company of other drinkers is not weak, but indeed very, very strong. Some people can drink casually and get loaded on occasion and then there are us. I have been clean- completely clean- for 15 plus years and I can tell you it has been a much, much more interesting, happy and successful life than it was before. It took me this many years to learn that I can and will be able to return to being a cannabis user- when the time is right for me. That time is near and I am looking forward to it.
The disease of alcoholism led me to believe, as well, that I was 'not man enough, etc., etc., and all that did was keep me sick. Letting it go and getting help was the most adult and manly thing that I could do.
I can relate to all that you wrote as it was once me, too, as I am sure many people on here felt the same. If you ever want to talk, I would be more than willing for sure.

As an aside today I would take a day or so of passing boredom over the insanity, regret, and deep emotional pain that I went through, regularly, when I drank. Boredom is now a luxury....Reach out anytime if you want and thanks for putting yourself out there.

 

[shithawk420]

I just got out of detox myself.I fucked up and fell off the wagon again.my buddy just died from an OD and its pretty hard.I know how whateverman feels.I started drinking out of boredom ten years ago and it should have killed me.my record BAC was .410. Thats death and or coma for most people. but I just had extremely high blood pressure. I don't know why I'm alive but I'm trying to quit but nothing seems to work.when I was sober for a few days from detox I was a a grouchy mean person.I don't smoke cigarettes so I guess it would be similar to a person quitting cigs but I don't know.I just hope I can get this shit monkey off my back one day.oh and I have Mr.lahey as my avi for a reason.its cause I drink and get drunk like him on the show.its pretty out of hand.what's funny is Mr.lahey,aka John Dunsworth doesnt even drink.he's just that good an actor.

 

[Mr.Miner]

^ Welcome back, man...sorry for your loss

 

[shithawk420]

,thanks Mr.Miner.I promised my buddy I would go into detox.I did.those were the last words i had with him. and what does he do? Fucking OD on heroin or some pill similar. it was only a matter of time.this world is so fucked up.what can you do but drink your sorrows away? Sorry for the negativity. I give my respect to all the people strong enough to quit alcohol. you guys are MUCH stronger than me.

 

[whateverman]

Thanks for the kind words, and for your shares guys.

My dad is a high-functioning alcoholic. He has several alcohol-related tragedies that lead him to a short stint in prison.

But he has this inner drive, a motivation, a thirst for life that I just...don't. He wakes up hungover, turns on the coffee and goes about his business as a ferocious, financially successful, respected, even admired businessman.

In so many ways he is pathetic. He's lost contact with his emotions. Sometimes he seems legitimately mentally unstable even sober. He subsequently lost his adult children because of this.

But- and I know this will cause many to bertstare like I'm insane- I can't help but admire this disposition in some ways. The man is hard as a fucking rock.

Maybe it's a generational thing. I'm too cynical about life to have that kind of "engine." I get drunk, wake up sick, want to die. Hate everything even more than I usually do. He wakes up feeling the same and conquers the world...well, financially at least. Alpha as fuck, kinda.

 

[Grassachusetts7]

Unfortunately that's what they call a functioning alchoholic! Most people that live like this do not get help because they are able to get through each day. Don't be confused for a second and be jealous of what they are capable of doing. They are just as sick as u and I. The sad thing is that this life is sufficient for them. These people are not happy and will never be until something is done. No way to live at all

 

[Mr.Miner]

Thanks for the kind words, and for your shares guys.

My dad is a high-functioning alcoholic. He has several alcohol-related tragedies that lead him to a short stint in prison.

But he has this inner drive, a motivation, a thirst for life that I just...don't. He wakes up hungover, turns on the coffee and goes about his business as a ferocious, financially successful, respected, even admired businessman.

In so many ways he is pathetic. He's lost contact with his emotions. Sometimes he seems legitimately mentally unstable even sober. He subsequently lost his adult children because of this.

But- and I know this will cause many to bertstare like I'm insane- I can't help but admire this disposition in some ways. The man is hard as a fucking rock.

Maybe it's a generational thing. I'm too cynical about life to have that kind of "engine." I get drunk, wake up sick, want to die. Hate everything even more than I usually do. He wakes up feeling the same and conquers the world...well, financially at least. Alpha as fuck, kinda.

The line 'so cool that they are frozen' comes to mind when I read that line about being unattached from his emotions yet strong.

 

[GET MO]

I been trying to go on my 60 day challenge after the success of the 30 day (ended up going 45). I started drinking again, but not heavy. Like 1-2 2-11 steal reserves a night, or a couple single shots. I dont finish my 2-11 alot of times but I noticed I been feeling real angry, and missing loved ones that passed on, n it makes me want to drink. I wanted to start eating healthy yesterday too, and it seems Im my worst enemy, I said fuck it n went to In-n-Out n got a double double. That shit was bomb too... damnit. I slowed down my weed smokin because it was making me feel self consious, i dont know why it seems these feelings come in waves, like I can smoke weed all day part of the month, and then there are times it makes me feel bad, which makes me not want to smoke. I think its usually just the weed telling me to get on my job, and that I am not being the best I can be, things I need to fix that would make it so i no longer felt this way. Anyway I still got a beer in the fridge so will drink that tonight, see how i feel tomorrow night. good news is its nothing like before, I used to wake up drunk and get back to it, kind of like what whatever man said about his dad, functioning alcoholic, drink all day and night and again the next day. Now its just a beer or two, but I want to take it all the way out.

 

[19de1ta]

Guess im going to try and join the club.

 

[angelgoob]

Alcohol is too addictive. Try L-theanine a protein compound that acts on the same receptors as alcohol.

 

[Mr.Miner]

Hope all are doing well with putting the drink down.

 

[billy_big_bud!]

thanks mr miner. i am proud to say i am absolutely killing it. fuck coors, fuck bacardi, fuck jack daniels in the ass with the stalk from a 10' kush plant. alcohol has gotten a free ride way too long. its cannabis time.....

 

[LyryC]

GO YOU!!!

GO YOU!!!

Thank you and I love you for taking the stand for your health and helping everyone by helping yourself!!!

Good vibrations full of Green Blessings shining Bright with pure light raining LOVE!!!

For you all on your journeys.

I love you.

Stay strong, stay positive, keep yourself grounded and SMILE!!!!!



Namaste!

-Lyryc

 

[Mr.Miner]

thanks mr miner. i am proud to say i am absolutely killing it. fuck coors, fuck bacardi, fuck jack daniels in the ass with the stalk from a 10' kush plant. alcohol has gotten a free ride way too long. its cannabis time.....

You bet Billy!- Stay strong...and it is cannabis time, again for me, as well. Had my first two tokes in 15.5 years the other night. Wow....perma-grin alternating with giggles and focused concentration on the mundane tasks of life, extreme muscle and joint relief, and worry about my sponsor/best friend and how he would react. Hodgepodge of things going on and I loved it, well 75% of it.

I spoke with him yesterday and he was kind, supportive, and basically said 'if it helps you, who am I to say anything'? I was relieved to tears.

And, as an aside, I am even more terrified of alcohol. Use of one does not follow the other in my recent experience.

I thought I was going to immediately go back to smoking everyday but I didn't yesterday, today, and most likely not tomorrow. When it's right I will. Until then I am being highly productive and keeping honest with how I feel...Loving it!!

 

[Heinrich]

I'm very glad of the fact that I've never liked alcohol too much. The last time I drunk myself was on new years eve and I had headache during the whole next day. Now I've found speed and it is amazing. I'm a fan of uppers, not downers. I use it once in a few days and I believe it has zero addictive potential, at least for me, no cravings at all. You have to eat and not binge like a junkie redosing when the effect wears down. No headache or bad come down, just feel like super human on it. It's 70% pure, not the street shit.

 

[birdman_]

91 days ... [Self supported]
..<on the 35th day i Inhaled some Alcohol based Hand Cleaner maybe a few times ! hoping this Hasn't had any Ill Effect to my Cause,here. ???? EIKK


Sh .. For reason of Motoring Im having to Completely Abstain from Alcohol For upto a year so says the DOC.
I did enjoy Drinking everyday (mostly) but Times Have to be Altered...
I failed the Physical Examination 2x before..
Now,Super Serious like this guy !

 

[indalo]

I'll never forget my doctor/guru friend's words to me from day one ,,,,,,,, in this game we don't use the color GREY,,,,,, in this game the only colors available is BLACK and WHITE ,,,,, there is no ' just the one ' policy here, u choose white and u stand a chance, if u choose black , u will only fool yourself, and let family and friends down . Every morning I'll think of these wise words, and guess they have helped me staying on track ,,,

It will be two years in a few days since he gave me these words to chew on. Them words really have helped me staying COMPLETELY dry all this time . No cravings at all . I am going to see him , just to shake his hands and thank him for them words . Roll on another two dry years , ( fingers crossed ) All the best to all of you with the same problem as me . It can be done , as long as you don't live or fall into that ' grey ' zone . Keep it green instead .

 

[Stoner4Life]

 

[billy_big_bud!]

brothers bday last weekend. had 2 beers over the coarse of a few hours. didnt finish either of them. i GOT this.