Is there such a thing as Feminized Autoflower seeds that aren't "cheap pollen chucked auto seeds"? Or is that just something that I'm going to have to deal with?
Yes. Purple City Genetics (based in Oakland, CA) sells some good autos. Their Saltwater OG (auto) has tested close to 30%. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-M7TkqhddR/