Damn dude. maybe you would be better off growing poppies and getting the affects you need instead of chasing kratom. i think i can feel it hurting my kidneys right now. i just took 5 capsules.
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Yes.
But it was 2 years ago now tho. But everything was good then.
Whether diabetes or damages from drug/alcohol use, I think it's something that ought to get checked annually or every 6 months, depending on the person.
Sometimes when organ functions start to slide downhill, they can change somewhat abruptly.
Of course, age is a factor, too.
i got a piss and blood test a couple weeks ago. it said abnormal liver and kidney function. dont know what all that meanss yet but at 36 its probably not good.guess ill finnd our wednsday but these docs suck big time
I found this Medscape article eye-opening, 'hawk.
I receive Medscape routinely, often daily.
For some of us, if we live long enough, who knows? Maybe we'll find that once terminal or serious conditions are more readily treated or recovered from.
It's a gel that reportedly reduces alcohol toxicity by 50% and curbs organ damage.
Pretty amazing if true and effective.... and absent a dump truck load of negative side-effects.
Hopefully the article opens for you.
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Thanks i appreciate it moose. gonna read that when i get some rest. i gotta get an ultrasound here pretty soon. thanks again
Oh yeah i heard about that moose. I think its wonderful for Alcohol toxicity and for sobering people up. Not sure its for me though. I would have to drink almost twice as much to get the affects i want. I drink for taste too but thats only secondary. Ill do more research into it. I feel that if i got that point id be better off quitting altogether. Ive only spent about $50 this month. Thats about half what i was spending a week.
Appreciate it moose. So you have been taking it? what are your thoughts on it?
Appreciate it moose. So you have been taking it? what are your thoughts on it?
No. The drug/gel in reference is still in study phase, having apparently been effective with mice.
And I considered that for those who are really NEEDING the alcohol buzz, it might amount to simply drinking twice as much, as you'd written, for which I also wondered if it only disrupts the toxicity of the alcohol, or if it also interferes in absorption of carbohydrates that come with SOME forms of alcohol, such as beer. (*Similarly as to how the drug Omeprazole interferes in the absorption of some vitamins and minerals in the stomach).
And while the kidneys and liver can heal a bit over time from some forms of damage, how far gone is too far gone for this sort of healing to occur in a meaningful way??
That brings me to the final thought this morning re. this issue, 'hawk, and one which I probably don't need to state, and which I don't mean to sound as simplistic as it might; if your more recent labs indicate abnormal kidney and liver function, 'hawk, then you probably know what that means. And there can be a point of no return with alcohol.
Some of my most vividly negative images in my mind from my days in MH work involved home-health clients who had drunk themselves into a state of diminished mental capacity resulting from organic alcohol-induced brain damage and organ failure. One in particular was constantly in a hospital bed in her living room, and even with home health care nurses visiting daily, she was constantly in a pool of bodily fluids and rarely coherent enough to be oriented or grounded in conversation.
Shit's real, 'hawk. Despite alcohol's social acceptability, it's one of the most badass drugs I know of where damage to the body and mind are concerned. I know the cravings can be a bitch, but your body's shooting up some flares for you to notice, and despite the difficulties in taking the more healing path, it's entirely up to you.
It's your life to toss away or to cling to in whatever care. And no one owns a deed on it but you, no matter who may have impacted the memories and acts that bring you up to today.
Seems like a proper moment for a Red Green quote, something along the lines of "Keep your stick on the ice" and "We're pulling for you." but you and I have had similar exchanges numerous times. Your body's now telling you via lab results that you're at some sort of precipice. My advice is that you listen to it. But that's MY advice. It's got to be YOUR advice.
Sorry moose. for some reason i thought Medscape was the drug and you said you received it daily. I should of known better. Bad reading comprehension on my part I read about this stuff at least a year ago and for some reason i thought it might have been available. i think you said you like a nice IPA but i know your not a heavy drinker.
yeah ive been around drunks all my life. My buddy who lives off panhandling refuses to even try to quit and hes falling over and and on the verge of having seizures from bright lights even when hes sober.Bitches about wanting to die on a daily basis. He only drinks beer. His Gf only drinks vodka and she goes to the hospital every week or 2. I cant believe they let her stay and dont give her the boot.
I dont wanna be around drunks anymore. my dad called me from prison last week and he said he dont get the urge in there but hes gonna go right back to drinking and smoking weed when he can. He might have to go to a halfway house wich would be good for him but i doubt he will go to one. I told him on not gonna do this anymore and he dont say "good job" or hes proud nothing like that. Hes a POS who wants everyone as miserable as he is
So yeah i talked to the shitty Nurse Practitioner. i dont even think shes a doctor. She said she wasnt, i cant remember her words, "terrified" i think she said along those lines about my lab work so i dont even know WTF thats supposed to mean. I hate IA healthcare. Absolutely lazy dont give a damn fuks. At least i had a good doctor around my age in my small town in IL. He seemed to care and i think he came from a family of doctors.
Anyway im getting of track a bit. Alcohol has destroyed my family and i hate it. Wish i never drank but hindsight and all that blah blah blah. Every time i go to the doctor they try to put me on Vivitrol. I dont want a fucking shot every month. The Naltrexone seems to work. I guess its on to the next thing to help me quit and unfortunately kratom isnt it. If that gel stuff ever hits the market i would give it a try but until then im still searching. Wish i could micro dose.
Thanks again as always moose. I want you to know that im WAY better than i was in the beginning of our discussions and i really do appreciate our talks. Got an ultrasound on the 7th. Think its just for my gut but if it tells me anything significant ill share. I always firmly believe people with past experiences should always share if it helps even one person. My mom is so secretive about her health she might die in a week and she wouldnt tell anyone. And with the way shes going she could die in a week or 2. I wouldnt know. shes on Kidney Dialysis everyday. She only weighs 72lbs but she is 4'9 so i guess it isnt really TOO low a bodyweight but still low
yeah ive been around drunks all my life. My buddy who lives off panhandling refuses to even try to quit and hes falling over and and on the verge of having seizures from bright lights even when hes sober.Bitches about wanting to die on a daily basis. He only drinks beer. His Gf only drinks vodka and she goes to the hospital every week or 2. I cant believe they let her stay and dont give her the boot.
I dont wanna be around drunks anymore. my dad called me from prison last week and he said he dont get the urge in there but hes gonna go right back to drinking and smoking weed when he can. He might have to go to a halfway house wich would be good for him but i doubt he will go to one. I told him on not gonna do this anymore and he dont say "good job" or hes proud nothing like that. Hes a POS who wants everyone as miserable as he is
So yeah i talked to the shitty Nurse Practitioner. i dont even think shes a doctor. She said she wasnt, i cant remember her words, "terrified" i think she said along those lines about my lab work so i dont even know WTF thats supposed to mean. I hate IA healthcare. Absolutely lazy dont give a damn fuks. At least i had a good doctor around my age in my small town in IL. He seemed to care and i think he came from a family of doctors.
Anyway im getting of track a bit. Alcohol has destroyed my family and i hate it. Wish i never drank but hindsight and all that blah blah blah. Every time i go to the doctor they try to put me on Vivitrol. I dont want a fucking shot every month. The Naltrexone seems to work. I guess its on to the next thing to help me quit and unfortunately kratom isnt it. If that gel stuff ever hits the market i would give it a try but until then im still searching. Wish i could micro dose.
Thanks again as always moose. I want you to know that im WAY better than i was in the beginning of our discussions and i really do appreciate our talks. Got an ultrasound on the 7th. Think its just for my gut but if it tells me anything significant ill share. I always firmly believe people with past experiences should always share if it helps even one person. My mom is so secretive about her health she might die in a week and she wouldnt tell anyone. And with the way shes going she could die in a week or 2. I wouldnt know. shes on Kidney Dialysis everyday. She only weighs 72lbs but she is 4'9 so i guess it isnt really TOO low a bodyweight but still low
No, I very rarely enjoy an IPA. And they seem to have more or less taken over the wholesale beer markets lately, too, unfortunately.
On rare occasion I might drink a Sockeye Red from Midnight Sun Brewing in Anchorage. Almost tastes like grapefruit juice, so it's a breakfast beer on rare occasion.
I'm more of a stout and porter kind of guy, but I also count carbs pretty righteously, so the thicker, often very potent Imperial Stouts that I like are rarer anymore, but I still like them.
No, I don't care for being drunk. My kids have MAYBE seen me intoxicated on alcohol 3-4 times in their lives, and they're now all adults, and when they see that, they know I've come to some sort of wall with frustration., life, whatever. It's a typically cathartic moment for me in those circumstances.
Simultaneously, they've seen me eat limited doses of Rx speed on long driving missions and have seen me stoned on cannabis products more days of my life than not.
I grew up with well-intended but mentally challenged or disabled people, sometimes incredibly violent in ways I'll not relate in this, who often couldn't discuss important issues of relationship or emotion but would exaggerate that shit to no end when they were intoxicated. Grew to -really- resent the smell of whiskey or vodka on someone's breath when they were expressing their love or affection in inflated terms and tenor or trying to talk about something important but couldn't bring themselves to do so when they were sober and less exaggerated.
My mother was good at buying gifts later in our childhood or adolescence, but without really addressing what was going on with her or us.
To this day, if I have a beef with someone I care about or have a long-term relationship with, and they respond by bringing me some sort of gift, it pisses me right the fuck off. Gifts are fine.... AFTER the proverbial meat on the table has been sliced and diced and properly resolved, and not until then. A common shortcoming among way too many people. Like in John Prine's tune, 'That's the Way That the World Goes Round'.
The grace and lasting gift of/from those people was to steer me away from excessive alcohol use, and toward far more functional recreational drugs, though there were LOTS of them, too. But none I couldn't walk or dance away from.
A Physician's Asst. or Nurse Practitioner go through remarkable amounts of medical training, and in my experience, often have less ego than some Docs. I've gotten really good treatment from most PA's and NP's I've seen, including an in-office surgery of sorts by one local PA, who removed a sizable sebaceous cyst in my lower back, cutting it out on an exam table using a local anesthetic... (*Still have the cyst in a specimen container next to my computer, submerged in alcohol after a decade and a half; the things of ourselves we keep that are a bit odd sometimes, eh?).
I think maybe the wording used by your NP was a bit off, to use the term 'terrified', but I suspect she was trying to get your attention and impart the seriousness of the circumstances. You are, after all, 'hawk, a relatively young man. And you're apparently contending with conditions that many in their 70s don't experience. You've given your body a good run for its money.
And no 'hawk, I didn't miss the part about your successes in less drinking. If I left that out, then that was my wrongdoing, and I sincerely apologize.
So now you have a great opportunity to help those organs heal if it can be done. That's a gift you owe yourself. Keep on giving that gift to yourself.
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I have to admit moose. I was at walmart yesterday and there was a 12 pack of piss warm Lagunitas Little Sumpin Sumpin IPA in the Clearance Isle and i couldnt help it. Its really good beer i had a few times and i couldnt resist. Ive only had a few today and im already full. No way i could drink these all day everyday. but i do like them.
I like Porters and Stouts myself. You like Black and Tans? i remember Yeunling had a decent one i think. I was just talking to a good buddy of mine today who is 70 and had knee surgery. He says he quit drinking. But we were talking about a mutual friend of ours who died pretty slow from drugs and alcohol. He was only 54 and he lived a pretty crazy life. supposedly killed a cop and was an enforcer for the Joliet Outlaws. Honestly its kinda suprising he lived that long but he was losing his bowels,lost so much weight nobody would recognize him. He was in the hospital at least a couple weeks before he died but it was rough to watch. I dont wanna go out like that. thats not something anyone should try to do.
But yeah ive been drinking everyday since i was 15 or 16.sorry if i already told this story but I was homless with my dad living couch to couch living off the weed he sold. just drinking and smoking pretty much everyday. I know to alot of kids that sounds awesome but thats the complete opposite . Its fucking stupid is what it is. I could of been working at NBC5 Chicago if i played my cards ight. My grandpa won an Emmy working there and could of gotten me through the door. Its sad to see the damage we do to ourselves.
Anyway sorry. I only drank 3 of those IPAs and im already getting sleepy. gonna take a couple caps of kratom and see if it makes me feel any better. Think im gonna have to take a nap pretty soon.hope you and everyone has a good weekend. supposed to rain again tomorrow i think. We have had some crazy weather here in IA. I got an Emergency alert on my phone saying the whole states land lines might not be working.
Never got too heavy with black & tans. I've drank a few over the years.
Lagunitas made an Imperial stout that I think was close to 9,9% that was both very smooth and very flavorful. Those and Old Rasputin, etc.
ive heard nothing but good things about Old Rasputin but ive never seen it. I dont go out of my way to buy expensive beer though. The Lagunitas was almost $19 for a 12 pack. Not terrible but im not in a position to spend that much but ive only drank 5 since yesterday. Definitely goes a lot farther. Not because of the BAC but because its like drinking a damn small meal in a can. i cant drink more than 1 an hour
$19 for a 12-pack of decent/craft beer up here is a sale price. A 30-pack of Miller or Budweiser piss water was just on sale at the Brown Jug warehouse for $30. Bleh.
The Lagunitas Imperial Stout came in 22-oz. bottles. The store I used to get it at doesn't have it anymore and hasn't in a long time. It was one of the few Lagunitas products I liked, as most all of their other stuff tastes like one variety of IPA or another, including their Lil' Sumpthin'.
Matanuska Brewing's Deep Powder Porter is a 6.9% porter that's not sickly sweet or thick.
Kenai River Brewing does a 'Grateful Red' (Irish red) Ale that's 5.6%, or about the same as Guinness Extra Stout, which is a regular feature here for me. The Guinness Extra Stout only has 15-grams of carb in 11.2-oz. bottle, and the Fat Tire by New Belgium Brewing in Ft. Collins Colorado only has between 10 & 12 grams of carb in a 12-oz. can, at 5.6%.
Awe jeez! I literally did a Jed Clampet "Whoo Doggy!" when i read that. I thought i had it bad when i pay $23 a 30 pack of Natural ice. I saw a pretty cool vid on Youtube where this guy buys food from a store in Alaska. its supposed to be the most expensive store in Alaska or something. It was like $10 for a jar of peanut butter. I cant remember exactly but it was pretty intersting. Of coarse i think it was way up there. sorry im not too familiar with the geography up there. I think its great your self sufficient up there. How much you figure your saving growing your own food? im sure its not negligible. heh. i just got deja vu. I swear i asked you this question before
Im also a big fan of Guiness extra stout.have you tried their Black Lager? Its ok but extra stout is better.only guiness ill buy.
Ive only had the Little Sumpin and one other Lagunita. The Little sumpin was noticeably better as the other one was nothing to write home about. I only discovered Little Sumpin because my town of 500 had it in stock for some reason. Nobody in town drinks that stuff. Its a Bud Light town. Im in Davenport now and they have alot more breweries than i know about. I took a pic of the back of one ill try to find.Went to a meadery here and i was not impressed. In fact ive made homemade shit wine that wasnt a whole lot worse. I got the bottle. Ill take a pic of that.
Dont know if i ever mentioned it but i did take College level beekeeping courses in Geneva IL. One of the major honey producers of honey in the country i believe. I learned a lot but my damn bees swarmed before i could harvest any damn honey. Im pretty damn sure its cause the farmers were spraying insecticides right on our farm. Is beekeeping popular up there? Im sure in certain parts in the south you can have an apiary without them dying right?
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Sorry for the hairy legs.had a hard time getting a decent shot lol
Nah, the hairy legs show a perpetuation of genetics and good protein intake sometimes.
I might have had the Guinness Black lager a long time ago. My favorite Dark Ale or Lager (they've gone back and forth at least once, I think) is the New Belgium Brewing '1554'. 6% abv and very nice, full but not heavy flavor. Not too thick and pretty tasty overall.
Meads I never messed around with too much. There was a place in Homer, Alaska years ago, maybe still, that made meads and other products from local berries, chocolates, etc.
My wife's been making a bunch of wines lately, both from our own berries and chokecherries, as well as acquired frozen (untreated) fruit that came in quantity with a zero-dollars price tag on it.
Yes, people up here keep bees. Not sure how they winter them, but I know that's been an issue for some (not all).
My neighbors' adopted son made honey and brought us at least one pint, maybe a qt. in there some place as well, back when my younger son was here, and there was more of a connection. Good stuff, though my glucose reacts to honey far worse than it does to maple syrup, so we've used a lot of organic maple syrup over the years in everything from cooking, to baking, to fish smoking brines.
Used to make a maple liqueur a number of years ago, styled after a maple liqueur I'd buy in the Yukon Territory of Canada, made with Canadian whiskey. That stuff was incredible, whether in a snifter with ice for sipping, or over ice cream, or in coffee.
We probably out to again cease hijacking this thread, though, 'hawk.
well yeah i agree. this place is pretty dead though. sorry if i was being ignorant. I wont do it again.i was being careless. so i took 4 kratom plus 8 LIlins ill call them. dont feel anything but an ache in my kidney.probably try and give the rest of the caps away
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The fact that you jump right to apologizing for being ignorant, 'hawk, highlights that self-denigrating perspective that has, in my opinion, helped you to keep you down. it's also a place of fearing you're not good enough and might be rejected. A hard place to live, imo.
I've seen you jump in with the crowd sometimes when they were bashing something or someone deemed unpopular, but as I've said before, there's nothing ignorant about you.
You're a gourmet cook; you know about functional trivia in ways that are sometimes surprising, and by functional trivia, I mean knowledge about niche topics that can be useful, as opposed to something to write on a restroom stall wall.
When someone thinks poorly of themselves and is sometimes/often apologizing for being, they don't need a mean father, neglectful or abusive mother, or enemies, because they're filling those roles for themselves.... echoes from the past that aren't helpful.
I know perspective and deeply engrained reflexive belief can be difficult to change or steer differently, but I'd encourage you to make yourself as proud of who you are as you are judgmental about who you are. Not in an ugly ego-filled, repulsive way, but in a human accepting themselves kind of way. Overcome some of that, and it's a task that some spend their lifetime re-doing or amending, and you can take a lot of the obstacles out of your way that continue to have you kicking your own ass.
Embrace yourself in your thoughts and self-talk for who you are in all ways, the good, bad and ugly, and direct that shit in the way that a caring, loving father would, because at this stage in life, the fact is, you're now in the role of being your own father, guide, etc.. Make a conscious effort to stop talking to yourself and about yourself in ways that have you telling yourself you're not worthy or fearing that you're a jerk. Keep on the path to finding that sort of tempered, supportive acceptance with a balance to it, because it's a primary tool to further stopping self-destructive behaviors, pattens, self-talk, and vices. and you're already on the road to improving that shit. So help it by not putting yourself down.
You're a decent guy... most of the time, like many people. Perfection is and was never an option.
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Well you sure put your time and expertise into that one. if you dont mind id like to show my mom. Im sure she would agree with you. I want to also be up forward with you now that we are going into a professional level that im also a very good sociopath and you are pretty much spot on. I use alot of these defense mechanisms for a reason. its just easier most of the time. the reason i didnt want to reveal this is because i dont use it to take advantage of anyone. in fact i use it to my advantage. i make it a point to people that just because i might know these kinds of people doesnt mean i ACT like those kinds of people.
So yeah im good when im around normal people. but when im around people i know are fucked i gotta put that tough guy baddass kiler persona on. mind you it isnt easy at 5'5 but somehow i managed to get a good reputation going.Damn sorry. your better than my paid therapists. i only see them because i get my seraquil. Sorry man. i see you put alot into that. it was great. but your spot on. i dont like taking advantage of people even though i know its a part of life. ive had very good luck with very nice people when i was a kick homeless. awe shucks. This is why im still here after about 20 years now. ive been here for more than half of my life. that almost in a way kinda means something. i hope to give back one day. i mean that you guys helped me a lot when my house burned down. love you guys.
