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I've been robbed!

TruthOrLie

Active member
Veteran
stealing food? how fucking stupid petty do you have to be? like they wouldnt notice hahah. shit if you stole my 4 month old frozen pot pie i would come after you!!! let alone some freshly prepared lobster.

yea, I can see you heavily armed, fighting the invading chinese as they devour your last freedom pot pie with communist chopsticks
:artist:
 

TruthOrLie

Active member
Veteran
The perpetraitor has emerged from hiding.

Two days ago he saw my car outside the barber shop. Called me and texted me that I was being "wierd".

Today the house phone rings. I was expecting a call. I totally forgot the suspect had my direct house line. FUCK. So now here I am talking to this guy on the phone when I was doing a perfectly good job of avoiding the issue.

He says "What's up, I called you like a million times. I was starting to think you were mad at me"

I say "Oh, nah, someone stole my phone."

"Oh." He says, "Well it was my birthday a few days ago so I was just recovering from that"

"Oh you did it big, huh? Well I just finished eating I gotta go hit the bathroom. Maybe I'll see you at the barbershop. Peace"

He hangs up and wouldn't you know the fucker has the nerve to call me back 30min later and ask "Could I do a load?" I just flat out said no and hung up the phone.
 

chuckyoufarley

Well-known member
Veteran
when i was growing up we used to hangout out at this kids house and his older brother had a MINOR BIRD that talked and when you went to leave it would say WHAT YA STEAL PUT IT BACK.1st time i heard that i was rolling on the floor laughing
 

supermanlives

Active member
Veteran
thank you for your lobster and chicken . i had a wonderfull birthday dinner and the chicken kicked ass. next time i would like corned beef and please leave some cabbage to go with it .i also left a water bottle in the freezer it would be great if you put it in the fridge
 

Sharp_Pain

Member
WHAT ?

WHAT ?

I think he's right about the "Other Man" I think wifey is cookin someone some fancy lobster dinners while your away.

I'd call Cheaters
 

designer

Member
This is funny, but then again not... If he would steal a lobster it could just be the tip of the iceberg. No telling what else he is planning. But if he took so many other things it would go usually unnoticed. A couple will buy a couple lobsters, eat them together and remember doing it.


Kind of reminds me of a story. My wife was given a pregnant cat. This cat had the kittens and we only gave away about half of them. One of them was crazy as hell, had hair missing and would attack and bite you. So one day I put on my leather gloves and grabbed the crazy fucker and one of her brothers and put them in the car for a ride. I took them to a nice neighborhood about 10 miles away and let them go. Believe me, that was the nicer of my alternatives. So wife notices cats missing right away. Always asking if I seen the cats and I would just act all concerned and say no. A news story was airing that said that satanic worshipers were stealing cats and using them for some sick sacrifices. Instantly my wife knew that our cats were stolen by Satan worshipers. She would look out the windows every night hoping to catch one lurking in the yard. That was 20 years ago and she still looks.
 

itisme

Active member
Veteran
I would have left a note or an unloaded gun in the freezer. Might make him think twice next time.

When you see him white as a ghost then you kick him in the gut and tell him in his ear how much cash he owes you as you shove the receipt down his throat :ying:
 
make a batch of the most super potent brownies ever, throw in some heroin and LSD too. then lay it out next time for him to steal hehe.
 

exploziv

pure dynamite
Administrator
Veteran
your "friend" seems to like stuff that come from the sea.. maybe throw a fugu fish in the freezer for his next visit would be good? :)
 

TruthOrLie

Active member
Veteran
after asking to do another load of laundry about a month ago he has completely written himself off.

i'm sure this will see an update soon enough, tho
 

Anti

Sorcerer's Apprentice
Veteran
Instantly my wife knew that our cats were stolen by satin worshipers.

Hail Satin!

Satin-Doll-Thong-Full-Set.jpg
Satin-Doll-Thong-Full-Set2.jpg
 

THC123

Active member
Veteran
So one day I put on my leather gloves and grabbed the crazy fucker and one of her brothers and put them in the car for a ride. I took them to a nice neighborhood about 10 miles away and let them go. Believe me, that was the nicer of my alternatives.

wow what a fucker you are
 
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