Yeah.thanks cuddles.you should thank her too hubble.she is being nice giving advice
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I am heart broken
- Thread starter Hubbleman
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Yeah.thanks cuddles.you should thank her too hubble.she is being nice giving advice
Are you senile, i said she could have "some" "fun" with other guys, NOT FUCK THEIR BRIANS OUT
EXACTLY
My apologies for not responding before now, I am just now logged on the site. I am only here for short times in the a.m.
I am very sad that you are in pain. What I said to you was based off what you had already told us and my
own personal experience.
You came to express your pain and in doing so, folks here wanted to help you process this pain by sharing
their own experiences and offering advice based on those experiences.
I am aware that you hurt, as I have been where you are now after a 14 yr. toxic relationship. That was over
10yrs ago and I am now the happiest I've ever been.
It takes time, patience, love and understanding of yourself to heal.
My sharing with you was not intended to cause you further pain, only to let you know...
you are not alone, even if it may feel like it right now.
Godspeed on your healing and moving forward, hopefully more aware of the signals toxic people
show and just walk on by.
St. Phatty
Active member
in the early days of Craigslist it was a collage of dick picks, with a few vagina pics, breast pics, & butt pics.
Have some fun meant you can talk to them now?
What was she meant to of been doing before.
There is only one 'fun with other guys' and this outcome isn't surprising.
Look at it the other way round. You're in a long distance, and so impossible relationship. Then she rings up and says you can have fun with other girls if you want. It's over. Right there, you are single.
What was she meant to of been doing before.
There is only one 'fun with other guys' and this outcome isn't surprising.
Look at it the other way round. You're in a long distance, and so impossible relationship. Then she rings up and says you can have fun with other girls if you want. It's over. Right there, you are single.
Cuddles
Well-known member
completely disagree!! Glad I´m not going out with you,lol. Having fun with other people means not sitting araound at home all alone but going out and doing stuff.
And long distance relationships are not impossible, especially after 14 years. There should be an element of trust, good comminication, and kowing how to read the other person by now.
But like I said, she had probably already detached herself emotionally sooner and just used it all as an excuse.
Veggia farmer
Well-known member
Hubblebubbleman, Sorry for you mate. Many here have been hearing me moaning about my life aswell from time to time. Yes, its very hard to come out of situations like this. Me, myself, have been in/are sort of in toxic relationships, and it does sound a little familiar to my own life. Not that I really know, just sounds like it.
From my own life I get/got caught in toxic relationships over and over again. I understood wtf was happening after a relative recent trip, when I went back to childhood, and saw childhood traumas and neglect and how those experiences still affected me. And trust me folks I fucking manned up, but that doesn help at all if you have not grieve and cried like a little baby over your own wounds. Who the hell can be a healthy grown up man if you never grieved over the losses from your life? When you have emotinally comforted your self to somewhat ready for a step, THEN man up and walk with confidence HARD and FAST! Yan and yang as moose talks about mate.
But seriously, try not to cry on her "doorstep", to much... I did, and it eventually lead to and looose of finance, time, emotians and a small brief of ampehtamine addiction. Cause I wanted to win her, ofc, I like, you saw/see her, I too saw her as my soulmate. So, I went to her aparment and neglected myself and own life for comforting and helping her out there, so I ended up working at night and so on ( set my own timeschedule). Just one more cup of coffee for the road, eventually it was waaay more than one coffee. My advice is to balance yourself out and comfort your emotions with healthy methods..
And IF you do get in balance and are not in need for her, maybe, maybe then it actually can happen something good between you guys again? Im not saying it could or should, but its "only" then it can come from a healthy perspective/start point. But dont take anything I say as something absolutt as I just share my view point and try to stay humble, hubbleman.
Some days will always be heavier when emotions are not wounded properly, jesus mate, I tried to work yesterday.. Some haze, and some upper... Still felt so heeeeaavvyyy..... I did see it was soon new moon though, sooo, F work, lets have a "emotionally" ritual, mytime, ended up hippie flipping with some glasses of wine and some finger hash.. This might be a lot of intoxication and perhaps some will say its unhealthy, but hey, dont take it so hard(!) Im working on MESELF. Interessting enough everytime I trip, or hippieflipping as I have gotten a love for lately, I always come deeper into how I can help myself further. NOT like drinking away emotions, get them UP man, shadow-work, what has happen to me and what I do to me, all perspectives.... Man up and cry the shit out, I now I have. It WILL help. Sometimes you gotta goooo dooooowwnn... to get the F UP! Ying/yang....
Much LOVE
But for now, try not to take it so hard.. Do what you gotta do..
Keith Richards - Take It So Hard - from Talk is Cheap - YouTube
Edit: No meaning in ranting away, Im just coming out of my own shit, toxic stuff and burnout symptoms AND first time in many years I will take some seriously celebration in my B- day thats on Monday, AND I started yesterday! LOL. Shopping is done, some beers, a bottle of wine, two cases of wine, two bottles of whiskey. Some freshly harvested SSH +++++ Best way to overcome negatives is to override it with positives right? hehe. OK, I might share SOME of the drinks with friends.. Anxiety of running short, now need for drinking it all though
blablabla... to much coffee I see.....
take care<3
From my own life I get/got caught in toxic relationships over and over again. I understood wtf was happening after a relative recent trip, when I went back to childhood, and saw childhood traumas and neglect and how those experiences still affected me. And trust me folks I fucking manned up, but that doesn help at all if you have not grieve and cried like a little baby over your own wounds. Who the hell can be a healthy grown up man if you never grieved over the losses from your life? When you have emotinally comforted your self to somewhat ready for a step, THEN man up and walk with confidence HARD and FAST! Yan and yang as moose talks about mate.
But seriously, try not to cry on her "doorstep", to much... I did, and it eventually lead to and looose of finance, time, emotians and a small brief of ampehtamine addiction. Cause I wanted to win her, ofc, I like, you saw/see her, I too saw her as my soulmate. So, I went to her aparment and neglected myself and own life for comforting and helping her out there, so I ended up working at night and so on ( set my own timeschedule). Just one more cup of coffee for the road, eventually it was waaay more than one coffee. My advice is to balance yourself out and comfort your emotions with healthy methods..
And IF you do get in balance and are not in need for her, maybe, maybe then it actually can happen something good between you guys again? Im not saying it could or should, but its "only" then it can come from a healthy perspective/start point. But dont take anything I say as something absolutt as I just share my view point and try to stay humble, hubbleman.
Some days will always be heavier when emotions are not wounded properly, jesus mate, I tried to work yesterday.. Some haze, and some upper... Still felt so heeeeaavvyyy..... I did see it was soon new moon though, sooo, F work, lets have a "emotionally" ritual, mytime, ended up hippie flipping with some glasses of wine and some finger hash.. This might be a lot of intoxication and perhaps some will say its unhealthy, but hey, dont take it so hard(!) Im working on MESELF. Interessting enough everytime I trip, or hippieflipping as I have gotten a love for lately, I always come deeper into how I can help myself further. NOT like drinking away emotions, get them UP man, shadow-work, what has happen to me and what I do to me, all perspectives.... Man up and cry the shit out, I now I have. It WILL help. Sometimes you gotta goooo dooooowwnn... to get the F UP! Ying/yang....
Much LOVE
But for now, try not to take it so hard.. Do what you gotta do..
Keith Richards - Take It So Hard - from Talk is Cheap - YouTube
Edit: No meaning in ranting away, Im just coming out of my own shit, toxic stuff and burnout symptoms AND first time in many years I will take some seriously celebration in my B- day thats on Monday, AND I started yesterday! LOL. Shopping is done, some beers, a bottle of wine, two cases of wine, two bottles of whiskey. Some freshly harvested SSH +++++ Best way to overcome negatives is to override it with positives right? hehe. OK, I might share SOME of the drinks with friends.. Anxiety of running short, now need for drinking it all though
blablabla... to much coffee I see.....take care<3
Thank you for understanding
Totally agreee.
We were DEVOTED to each other from the beginning and i thought she can wait out whatever trouble i face in my life.
Thnaks
Thnaks for your input.
Just wanted to say we are indeeed soul mates on spiritual level and willl forever be as ONE.
For more info than that, im afriad this forum isnt ready for that
I haven't gone to a bar or club and tried to get laid in like 10 years. Seriously.
Hubbleman let's go to the dance club!
Hubbleman let's go to the dance club!
Veggia farmer
Well-known member
Friendly advice, dont let yourself be stopped. I too, talk a lot of "strange" thing sometimes, but I just go go and GO! I guess I dont have much choice in the end of the day???? Soulmates, twin flames lot of strange phenomons going around. Im even partly pyschic
Get on the bus and dont let the ones going off stop you for going FURTHER
But, If you believe in spiritual life and such, sometimes we gotta let go off some to later take them back... We all need to grow, and sometimes some need to loose there crutches to even have the ability to grow. I now thats "though love" but it sometimes is true too. I have co-dependency tendcies, that make some of the partners I have had to use me as a burden carrier. NOT with conscious intent, but it happend anyway, sub-consciously... I was "weak" and slowly little by little took there burden on my shoulders (and that in itself is an selfish act, REALLY!, afraid of loosing them, dont manage so good to see other people struggle with emotions, so it is easier for me to take the responsibility, then watch them struggle, then Im suddenly the "drug", addictions....).. Tho the point, it was soo crocked that everyone could see and it almost (or did?) became a JOKE. Last partner saw it too, and that ofc let to her to have ego-pride and furher because of that it was/is even harder to make the scale even again. Since it was so obviously. We all want to work on ourself to become a better partner, but we dont want to do it in the spotlight. Just like cats, you rarely see them do anything wrong, but you can hear them jumping of the kitchen table when you shut the doors.
Tensions.......
Get on the bus and dont let the ones going off stop you for going FURTHERBut, If you believe in spiritual life and such, sometimes we gotta let go off some to later take them back... We all need to grow, and sometimes some need to loose there crutches to even have the ability to grow. I now thats "though love" but it sometimes is true too. I have co-dependency tendcies, that make some of the partners I have had to use me as a burden carrier. NOT with conscious intent, but it happend anyway, sub-consciously... I was "weak" and slowly little by little took there burden on my shoulders (and that in itself is an selfish act, REALLY!, afraid of loosing them, dont manage so good to see other people struggle with emotions, so it is easier for me to take the responsibility, then watch them struggle, then Im suddenly the "drug", addictions....).. Tho the point, it was soo crocked that everyone could see and it almost (or did?) became a JOKE. Last partner saw it too, and that ofc let to her to have ego-pride and furher because of that it was/is even harder to make the scale even again. Since it was so obviously. We all want to work on ourself to become a better partner, but we dont want to do it in the spotlight. Just like cats, you rarely see them do anything wrong, but you can hear them jumping of the kitchen table when you shut the doors.
Tensions.......
Veggia farmer
Well-known member
I have never said no to a party, HEY HO, Lets GOOOO!!
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