How Have You Changed ??

[Elk Woman]

What Feeds Your Soul?

What Feeds Your Soul?

Hey all, I just found this thread while surfing the forum in my insomniac state, and I've been really appreciating ALL the voices here. Old or young, our wisdom comes from personal introspection and experience, and examination of our shared reality.

Once we've discovered that Love really IS the most important thing and we dedicate our life/lessons/labor to it, our whole lives turn around. I was a miserable but mystical child: CPS would have probably taken apart our family for all the poverty, disfunction and neglect we suffered, but that agency didn't exist yet. The only thing that kept me from suicide as a teenager was a deeply intuitive sense of Spirit: I learned to see beauty first in nature's patterns; then to see it in humans, regardless of our cloaking and self-hatred. (Oh, and a bit of natural psychedelics at pivotal parts of my development were quite helpful!)

On the Sufi path, I found a quote: "There is one holy book, the sacred manuscript of Nature, which alone can enlighten the reader." Watching the seasons in stillness and action, learning to flow by river-gazing, releasing old stories as the leaves drop in autumn and turn to next year's compost, learning to be still under the blanket of winter snows: all the elements have been major teachers for me.

I'm forthright and bold -- people hate me or love me, I don't care which as long as they're being authentic. Authenticity is all that I've ever wanted from others, and I often get my heart broken. But these days, I don't believe a broken heart is bad: I believe that hearts are broken so more love can flow. This is the real healing: to deepen the heart's range and sensitivity; to feed your body, heart and soul that which serves your highest ideals; and to never give up trying to be a better person. I don't want to be taking up space on the planet if I can't give back in return.

I don't assume that others have this depth of commitment, but I DO consider it my responsibility to pay close attention when things feel wrong: intuition, emotion, hunch, psychic resonance often direct me to the true path of least resistance, which is what Jesus said: "Agree with thine adversary quickly." (Don't lie, but find the places we agree and we both win!) I believe the best defense is no offense, but we have to protect that which is sacred to us too. 30-year friendships are my gold standard, my rock to rely on.

When I left home in 1973 to find The Hippies (they sure weren't in the Midwest yet!), I received a last piece of advice from an older friend: "Life is too short to have bad friends." His was the best advice I was ever given as a teen, and I have lived 3 1/2 decades proving the axiom. Let love feed us, heal us and nurture us. Love is in Nature; you can feel it when your heart is opened.

And THAT'S why gardening is so healing!
LoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLove

 

[Logos]

Logos,
What a beautiful reply that was & SO TRUE! We're all at the age that our places in the family structures have changed. By this time we've probably lost atleast one grandparent, and now our parents are passing on. Personally, both of my parents are gone, both of my husband's parents have now gone. So there's a void to fill there for each of us. I really saw this void during this big in-law visit recently. My mother-in-law has been dead almost 3 years now & the whole family dynamics is shot. The "favorite" is feeling so lost & powerless as the person who gave her that dominating position is gone now. She put so much energy into being the pet that there's little reason for that attitude now. Nobody's buying it anymore. I see this same situation with my friends as their parents pass away.
You were spot on about me, thank you so much for your insight. It's true I have moved to a new area within the past 4 years, were in a more isolated place with a small population. Just dealing with mother nature has changed alot of my priorities in life! And the people I've met, the friends I've made, I feel "home" here you know? I am grateful that I feel accepted here as I know how hard that can be.
I do believe we all have that choice once you've dealt with alot of truths about the realities of your childhood. When you've become older than the age that your parents were at during hard times, you can relate better to the reasons behind their decisions, see them as people. You can say "I made it!" & move on, or carry that with you as your excuse.
It's so true that any real cooperation in our world can only come from people who are in harmony within themselves, in their communities & their environments. And since I do believe in God, being in harmony on that level can make alot of the rest of it happen. What a wonderful dream that is! To no longer be in confict. We're being given the tools to work on ourselves all the time, we just miss the point alot.
We have to remember that what is in our hearts is true, that what our senses tell us sometimes can mislead.
We've also seen relatives, friends, etc. change their attitudes about us just because we use mmj. People who could've really cared less about our well-being are now very interested! It's the nature of that beast, it could become part of our illnesses if we let that get to us too much. You become their "expert sick-person" who going to do them right. The value of the medicine clouds their eyes to what we're going through to have it. Well that sounds like almost another topic so I'll just end right here! Peace to all

Hey, peacenik:

Thank you for the complimentary response. The depth of it was something I had not anticipated. I have read and re-read your thoughts many times and cannot disagree with anything you have said. I think that this is becasue you have made the conscious and sincere decision to tear yourself apart for a truthful, though painful, examination of who and what you really are. When we do this, believe me, what we discover is not a pretty sight. AAA has it right, in that, before healing can commence, we have to admit our failings as opposed to hiding behind the sickness of denial concerning our behaviors and thoughts and ego. Doing so is the first step in healing and moving on. If there is no movement, there is no change. So, instead of "How have you changed?", you could ask: "Have you moved?". In nature, movement represents growth. A plant that does not grow (move) is dead. Taking this anology, imagine how many people on this planet are dead because of being stuck in a survival mental state, or juvenile mental state, or dysfunctional mental state. What scares me is knowing that we are surrounded by crazy people, and there is no way to avoid them. The best we can do is to work on ourselves. My hope is that eventually - with more and more people working on themselves - we can tip the balance into our favor and thus, by sheer numbers, our combined auras will bring about a global positive change in Humanity.

Logos

 

[Logos]

I won't get on my past , cause i don't have the time,& i don't really like to type that much. " LOL".
I recently moved from my home town of 47 yrs. & i know what you mean when you say that there's no expectations.
Logos.... you ever think about being s shrink ... I'm serious.. I mean that in a good way .
peace.

Hi, dreaded:

Good to see you here in my little corner of the world. Thanks for acknowledging what I mean about the expectations melting away. I am sure you can remember the exhilerating feeling that comes from knowing that you are free - to whatever extent - of your old self. It's like molting, shedding an old skin that has been long overdue for discard. I am really glad that you have been able to experience this, because without the experience all of this talk about it is nothing more than dry theory without results.

No, I am not thinking about being a shrink, but thanks for the compliment anyway.

I understand your reluctance to engagae in typing out your thoughts, but if you were to take the mental stand that you would sometime just list what you like about yourself and then list those things that you dislike about yourself, you might surprise yourself, as well as find some self-help therapy. Or you could just bite the bullet and submit your thoughts here, which is what this place is for. This is called encouragement, my friend. I am encouraging you to open up. It costs nothing but some time and thought.

Anyway, accept my appreciation for your being here. I hope to hear from you again.

Logos

 

[Guest]

juana2: although this place is not our final destination, you know?

Logos

Its not???????????

 

[Logos]

Hey all, I just found this thread while surfing the forum in my insomniac state, and I've been really appreciating ALL the voices here. Old or young, our wisdom comes from personal introspection and experience, and examination of our shared reality.

Once we've discovered that Love really IS the most important thing and we dedicate our life/lessons/labor to it, our whole lives turn around. I was a miserable but mystical child: CPS would have probably taken apart our family for all the poverty, disfunction and neglect we suffered, but that agency didn't exist yet. The only thing that kept me from suicide as a teenager was a deeply intuitive sense of Spirit: I learned to see beauty first in nature's patterns; then to see it in humans, regardless of our cloaking and self-hatred. (Oh, and a bit of natural psychedelics at pivotal parts of my development were quite helpful!)

On the Sufi path, I found a quote: "There is one holy book, the sacred manuscript of Nature, which alone can enlighten the reader." Watching the seasons in stillness and action, learning to flow by river-gazing, releasing old stories as the leaves drop in autumn and turn to next year's compost, learning to be still under the blanket of winter snows: all the elements have been major teachers for me.

I'm forthright and bold -- people hate me or love me, I don't care which as long as they're being authentic. Authenticity is all that I've ever wanted from others, and I often get my heart broken. But these days, I don't believe a broken heart is bad: I believe that hearts are broken so more love can flow. This is the real healing: to deepen the heart's range and sensitivity; to feed your body, heart and soul that which serves your highest ideals; and to never give up trying to be a better person. I don't want to be taking up space on the planet if I can't give back in return.

I don't assume that others have this depth of commitment, but I DO consider it my responsibility to pay close attention when things feel wrong: intuition, emotion, hunch, psychic resonance often direct me to the true path of least resistance, which is what Jesus said: "Agree with thine adversary quickly." (Don't lie, but find the places we agree and we both win!) I believe the best defense is no offense, but we have to protect that which is sacred to us too. 30-year friendships are my gold standard, my rock to rely on.

When I left home in 1973 to find The Hippies (they sure weren't in the Midwest yet!), I received a last piece of advice from an older friend: "Life is too short to have bad friends." His was the best advice I was ever given as a teen, and I have lived 3 1/2 decades proving the axiom. Let love feed us, heal us and nurture us. Love is in Nature; you can feel it when your heart is opened.

And THAT'S why gardening is so healing!
LoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLove

Welcome, Elk Woman:

It pleases me that you found this thread and dropped in to share your thoughts. My journey outside the home started in 1968, and I can assure you that in my part of the Midwest there were no hippies to be found. However, it was an eye-opening experience when I moved to the university. There was so much freedom that, in retrospect, I was not prepared for it. I was like the kid in the candy store and exercised little restraint. I was way too immature to react responsibly with that much freedom, and that immaturity came from being on such a short leash at home. I did not know a good decision from a bad decision. I only knew that for the first time in my life I could come and go as I wanted, do what ever I wanted when I wanted. And so I indulged myself. It was akin to a starving man suddenly finding food and gorging himself beyond what is healthy. Because of my youth, inexperience, background and the sudden freedom I had, I wasted several years of my life. Others, including myself, would argue that because of karma it all had to play out the way it did. So, I learned by experience and not by books, or through the advice of others. It was difficult, and it was painful, and it was full of heartbreaks, as you said. I wish it had been different. I wish it had been better. I wish it had been easier. But it wasn’t, and so now I am the person I am, as opposed to who I might have been had I had it easy. But I don’t kid myself. Poverty has no lock on dysfunctionality. Rich families as just as dysfunctional. Money or lack of it has nothing to do with it, although I certainly don’t recommend poverty. At least with money, you have a better chance of pursuing your dreams. But nothing is written in stone.

So, we are all someplace in life. We each have risen to a certain mental state and we operate from that state, having incorporated experiences, theories and philosophies, and aspirations into that state of mind. But let us remember that we are evolving beings, and as evolution occurs, we gradually move into higher states. The theory is that each mental state corresponds to a different state of consciousness, and so who we are and what we believe changes with time. My state of consciousness and that of Jesus are poles apart, but I work to narrow that divide, so that I can relate to his words and works as a matter of practice rather that through awe. I think that you are aware enough to agree.

Logos

 

[peacenik]

Hello to All!
Glad to see some other viewpoint being shared here too.
Yes, AA has it right when it comes to admission that there's a problem! Even at the most basic levels we are in such denial, we say we're "fine", "okay" etc when maybe we're not. Because it's easy & quick, with no depth, on automatic. It's something we do socially like saying hello. We see this all the time, we humans running around trying to control things, people, outcomes. It can be so hard to admit a weakness, to actually face it & not let it control us. But if we can't admit it even exists, then where do you go from there? Nowhere. I used to read that word "nowhere" as "now here". That's one for a shrink huh? But how true that really was! That's how I saw my life, I was so busy anticipating the future that I was never "here". I didn't really pay attention to the fine print. I went with the general feeling of things, made snap decisions based on absolutely nothing but that survival mode mind that you speak of, Logos. But I didn't know how to think things through, to see the consequences of my actions. Sometimes now I think I see the consequences, the ripple effects of words & deeds, so I try to be more positive in my ways. The world is already tearing us down enough, we need all the good we can hear. As a great man once said, keep your eyes on the prize. The rest will come into place.

 

[Logos]

Hello to All!
Glad to see some other viewpoint being shared here too.
Yes, AA has it right when it comes to admission that there's a problem! Even at the most basic levels we are in such denial, we say we're "fine", "okay" etc when maybe we're not. Because it's easy & quick, with no depth, on automatic. It's something we do socially like saying hello. We see this all the time, we humans running around trying to control things, people, outcomes. It can be so hard to admit a weakness, to actually face it & not let it control us. But if we can't admit it even exists, then where do you go from there? Nowhere. I used to read that word "nowhere" as "now here". That's one for a shrink huh? But how true that really was! That's how I saw my life, I was so busy anticipating the future that I was never "here". I didn't really pay attention to the fine print. I went with the general feeling of things, made snap decisions based on absolutely nothing but that survival mode mind that you speak of, Logos. But I didn't know how to think things through, to see the consequences of my actions. Sometimes now I think I see the consequences, the ripple effects of words & deeds, so I try to be more positive in my ways. The world is already tearing us down enough, we need all the good we can hear. As a great man once said, keep your eyes on the prize. The rest will come into place.

Hi, peacenik:

It's good to see you again with more introspection to share. I think your observations are true to one extant or another for all of us. What most stands out for me in your response is your statement about not seeing the consequences of one's actions. This was certainly true for me as well. In years gone by, I made many unwise decisions because of stupidity. My thinking did not go much further than achieving some satisfaction at the moment, and not into laying the groundwork for my longterm benefit. In retrospect, I think that my subconscious motivation was geared more toward avoiding and running away, than toward doing the difficult things that would ensure my future. It is as if when I was much younger I had no vantage point from which to observe the grand layout of the land, so to speak. Now I stand atop the highground of experience and some wisdom from which to observe, and so can criticize my life up to this point. I am reaping the ripples, good and bad, of which you speak, peacenik. I also realize that I am creating more ripples every day, and so I am much more discerning which pebbles I choose to toss into the pond of life.

Logos

 

[farmerlion]

SOCIETY IS A DISAPOINTMENT

SOCIETY IS A DISAPOINTMENT

MY RANT MAY JUMP AROUND A LITTE BIT, BEAR WITH ME. THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE IS A JOKE. COME UP WITH A DATERS PLEDGE FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS I'LL COMMIT MYSELF TO YOU. WE CAN'T DISIPLINE OUR CHILDREN BUT WE WANT TO PROSICUTE THE PARENTS WHEN OUR CHILDREN SHOOT UP COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL. I AM PULLED OVER AND GIVEN A CITATION FOR NOT WEARING MY SEATBELT[FOR MY OWN SAFTY] YET 1/3 OF THE UNITED STATES FUND UNDERAGE ABORSIONS. GIRLS 11 TO 14 YEARS OLD CAN GET AN ABORSION AND HER PARENTS WON'T BE NOTIFIED. MESSAGE.... YOU CAN KILL AN UNBORN CHILD BUT WEAR YOUR SEATBELT! PHARMISUITICAL COMPANIES AND FOOD AND DRUG CAN PUT OUT CANCER CAUSING ADDITVES LIKE NUTRI-SWEET, SWEET-N-LOW ECT. THATS FINE WE ARE GETTING BILLIONS IN RESEARCH FOR CANCER. A GROWN ADULT CAN'T DECIDE THIER OWN MEDICATION [MED POT] BUT A 24 YEAR OLD GRADE SCHOOL TEACHER CAN DIOGNOSE MY SON WITH ADHD AND SEND THEM TO THE OFFICE TO GET [REDLIN]. YOU VOTED DOWN TEACHER PAY RAISES SO WERE TURNING THE ENTIRE SCHOOL INTO ZOMBIES SO WE DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY WORK AT OUR JOBS. IT SHOULD BE CALLED LAZY TEACHERS DISEASE! NOT ALL TEACHERS ARE DRUG DEALERS TO OUR CHILDREN. SOME CAN ACTUALLY READ THE SIGNS OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL THAT SAY NO DRUGS WITHIN 1500 FT. GROWING UP INTEGRITY WAS SOMTHING YOU DEVELOPED AND BECAME A [MAN]. NOW MORALS ARE OPTIONAL AND WITH NO EFFORT YOU WILL BECOME AN ADULT MALE. ALMOST THE SAME BUT WITH NO CHARACTER. REMEMBER WHEN A MAN WOULD OPEN AND HOLD A DOOR FOR A LADY. A HANDSHAKE ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING. MAYBE LIFE IS BETTER THROUGH ROSE COLORED GLASSES. THE REAL WORLD HAS A STENCH I CAN SEE.

 

[la resistance]

I'm not nearly as old as most of you, but I have had some life-changing experiences in my life and have a great education. Lately what I've noticed changing about myself is that I question everything and don't believe in anything that lacks sufficient evidence. I have little tolerance anymore for the religious type who refuse to consider the invalidity of their beliefs, so for the most part I just avoid them. I have just about given up on trying to explain the benefits of cannabis to my family and friends because most of the time it ends up with me presenting them with a plentiful amount of evidence, but they just reject it. I've been studying the US system of government/political system a lot lately and have found many aspects of it that I disagree with. I guess overall I've kind of given up on the idea that we live in an acceptable society.

 

[Bacchus]

I got Fucking Hemroids

 

[Logos]

MY RANT MAY JUMP AROUND A LITTE BIT, BEAR WITH ME. THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE IS A JOKE. COME UP WITH A DATERS PLEDGE FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS I'LL COMMIT MYSELF TO YOU. WE CAN'T DISIPLINE OUR CHILDREN BUT WE WANT TO PROSICUTE THE PARENTS WHEN OUR CHILDREN SHOOT UP COLUMBINE HIGH SCHOOL. I AM PULLED OVER AND GIVEN A CITATION FOR NOT WEARING MY SEATBELT[FOR MY OWN SAFTY] YET 1/3 OF THE UNITED STATES FUND UNDERAGE ABORSIONS. GIRLS 11 TO 14 YEARS OLD CAN GET AN ABORSION AND HER PARENTS WON'T BE NOTIFIED. MESSAGE.... YOU CAN KILL AN UNBORN CHILD BUT WEAR YOUR SEATBELT! PHARMISUITICAL COMPANIES AND FOOD AND DRUG CAN PUT OUT CANCER CAUSING ADDITVES LIKE NUTRI-SWEET, SWEET-N-LOW ECT. THATS FINE WE ARE GETTING BILLIONS IN RESEARCH FOR CANCER. A GROWN ADULT CAN'T DECIDE THIER OWN MEDICATION [MED POT] BUT A 24 YEAR OLD GRADE SCHOOL TEACHER CAN DIOGNOSE MY SON WITH ADHD AND SEND THEM TO THE OFFICE TO GET [REDLIN]. YOU VOTED DOWN TEACHER PAY RAISES SO WERE TURNING THE ENTIRE SCHOOL INTO ZOMBIES SO WE DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY WORK AT OUR JOBS. IT SHOULD BE CALLED LAZY TEACHERS DISEASE! NOT ALL TEACHERS ARE DRUG DEALERS TO OUR CHILDREN. SOME CAN ACTUALLY READ THE SIGNS OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL THAT SAY NO DRUGS WITHIN 1500 FT. GROWING UP INTEGRITY WAS SOMTHING YOU DEVELOPED AND BECAME A [MAN]. NOW MORALS ARE OPTIONAL AND WITH NO EFFORT YOU WILL BECOME AN ADULT MALE. ALMOST THE SAME BUT WITH NO CHARACTER. REMEMBER WHEN A MAN WOULD OPEN AND HOLD A DOOR FOR A LADY. A HANDSHAKE ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING. MAYBE LIFE IS BETTER THROUGH ROSE COLORED GLASSES. THE REAL WORLD HAS A STENCH I CAN SEE.

Dear farmerlion:

Hey, pleased to have you drop in, and I am glad that you found a place to unload, so take a deep breath and release as much of your tension as you can. It’s not healthy to carry around these horrible truths, these observations. I cannot tell you just how much you sound like me. I don’t want to be, but I am a cynic. I too, like you, see so very clearly the madness, the hypocrisy, the blatant lies we are told and by which ordinary citizens live their lives. Why, I have wondered, can’t people see what they are doing to themselves and their neighbors and mankind at large. I have felt like the lone voice of sanity crying futilely for reason in an asylum as large as the world. I have felt this so strongly that there have been times that I wondered if perhaps I myself were going mad. Believe me, farmerlion, the thought that perhaps I am mad was very frightening. I had - and still do - to make a conscious effort to hold it together. I get intensely frustrated that the powers that be, that move and shake, seem oblivious to the truth of what they do. But then I remind myself that the world is composed of a segment of people who operate from a platform of selfish interests. They do indeed know what they are doing but don’t care who they hurt. For those people, it is all about getting what they want and to hell with you. You and I sticking their noses in their selfish hypocrisy means nothing to such people because they really do know what they are doing. Arms traffickers, kiddy pornographers, drug cartels, corrupt politicians, racists, crooked CEOs, slave traders, etc. – whether for money or fame or ego or power, they are in it for themselves. I am but one person, so what can I do to stop it, to change the minds of the corrupters and the liars? The answer is-----nothing! It pains me to admit this. I tried to get my local congressman interested in sponsoring a bill concerning a consumer fraud issue. I soon learned that to get the legislative ball rolling I needed money and clout and support from many quarters ( which required money and clout and support ). I was told that my endeavor was perhaps needed and noble but that there must be a demonstrable need ( which I thought was obvious ) and a committee would have to be found and formed, etc. In other words, the process was stacked against me, and I possessed neither the time nor the money nor the influence required to proceed with my effort. So, I first hand know what you are feeling, farmerlion. All I can say is that you and I are not alone. Although we are not organized, there are a fair portion of us scattered about the globe who are just as cynical and frustrated and angry, and who want to wake up the rest to the reality of their actions. My hope is that given enough time, our small voices and better thoughts can begin to make a difference. After all, for example, there is now an organization called the ASPCA, where there previously had not existed even the thought for a need to protect animals. So, please, farmerlion, don’t go nuts over your observations. Hold it together and be assured that there are many good people like you who see it all for what it is.

Logos

 

[Logos]

I'm not nearly as old as most of you, but I have had some life-changing experiences in my life and have a great education. Lately what I've noticed changing about myself is that I question everything and don't believe in anything that lacks sufficient evidence. I have little tolerance anymore for the religious type who refuse to consider the invalidity of their beliefs, so for the most part I just avoid them. I have just about given up on trying to explain the benefits of cannabis to my family and friends because most of the time it ends up with me presenting them with a plentiful amount of evidence, but they just reject it. I've been studying the US system of government/political system a lot lately and have found many aspects of it that I disagree with. I guess overall I've kind of given up on the idea that we live in an acceptable society.

Good day, la resistance, and pleased to hear from you.

You know, a belief whether correct or not is still a belief. A belief is a person’s identity. Beliefs comprise a man’s ego in the sense that ego is a man’s essence. To force a man to change his view of himself is impossible. Do you know that there are rare cases of human children who were raised by animals and therefore were mentally programmed to believe that they were that animal? The belief is so ingrained that mental health specialists could not teach these children the truth of themselves. The belief was their identity. How do you convince someone that they are not who they think they are? How do you convince a terrorist that his parents and society and culture are wrong and you are right? You cannot. His thinking is the basis of his being. How do you convince fundamentalist Christians (that’s a joke) that their bigotry is not in line with Jesus but is antithetical to God? You cannot. People only change when the time is right for them to change themselves. So, if you were to believe that we live in an acceptable society, then you would only enforce the beliefs of your peers. By thinking otherwise, you will alienate yourself from those with whom you disagree. Often, disagreement will get you killed. Remember until recently what the Church did with heretics? They were denounced, imprisoned, tortured, killed. Something larger than the Church had to come along in order for a change in thinking to occur. It was science. Our government was wholly vested in the Viet Nam war, but some independent thinkers created a movement, and differing point of view. Obviously you don’t rank highly enough in your family to make them consider new information. So, until something dramatic happens to make your family understand the truth, you have to accept their position. You may not like it, but that’s how they are. The best you can do is to demonstrate that your pot smoking has not turned you into the fiend they think MJ users are. I really feel for your plight. After all, who wants to hid, especially from his family? It’s healthy for gays to come forth, something they certainly could not comfortably do only a few decades ago. Props to you for advancing yourself in spite of your family’s belief. In point, my aunt hated gays until her grandson admitted his homosexuality. She was forced to denounce him (her blood) or change. She changed. In honesty, yes, our culture is not perfect, but it’s more accepting than it has been. So, with voices like ours, maybe there is hope.

Logos

 

[Bud Meister]

I dropped out of high school and joined the army back in 79. I spent 9 years on active duty with 3 ea 6 month tours in El Salvador in the mid 80s. Joined the Army National Guard and went to college. While in the Guard I did one one year tour in Bosnia, Desert Storm, and a year in Afghanistan.

While in the Guard I have deployed for 4 hurricanes, 2 tornados, 2 snow storms, and 1 ice storm.

I have served in many parts of the world and seen both the very best and the very worst things humans do for and to each other. I have met great people and evil people and I have done my best to do my job under very exterme situations so that I and those that serve under me come home to those we love and care for.

I live everyday thinking of those close friends that never came home. My best friend and 2 close team members who were killed in El Salvador I never go a day I dont think about them and what we went through.

I have 28 years service now and still serving, addicted I guess. I am looking forward to retirement and will be content living on my isolated farm in the foot hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. I hope to be at peace with myself one day to leave the past in the past.

 

[Logos]

I dropped out of high school and joined the army back in 79. I spent 9 years on active duty with 3 ea 6 month tours in El Salvador in the mid 80s. Joined the Army National Guard and went to college. While in the Guard I did one one year tour in Bosnia, Desert Storm, and a year in Afghanistan.

While in the Guard I have deployed for 4 hurricanes, 2 tornados, 2 snow storms, and 1 ice storm.

I have served in many parts of the world and seen both the very best and the very worst things humans do for and to each other. I have met great people and evil people and I have done my best to do my job under very exterme situations so that I and those that serve under me come home to those we love and care for.

I live everyday thinking of those close friends that never came home. My best friend and 2 close team members who were killed in El Salvador I never go a day I dont think about them and what we went through.

I have 28 years service now and still serving, addicted I guess. I am looking forward to retirement and will be content living on my isolated farm in the foot hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. I hope to be at peace with myself one day to leave the past in the past.

Hello, Bud Meister:

I am especially honored to hear from you. I never served because I was rejected by the military because of a medical condition. In some ways I regret it. But then I have to consider that had I gone to Viet Nam I, like 50,000 other kids, may have died in that war. I will never know of course if some greater force than myself orchestrated that scenario for my survival. I, therefore, don’t possess the military experience, let alone those that come with overseas service, and certainly not the experiences of armed conflict. I haven’t seen my friends killed. I haven’t seen carnage in foreign streets, nor the gratitude of nameless villagers. I haven’t helped our own, victims of nature’s wrath. Perhaps you were in the theater of Katrina’s aftermath. Viewing the many videos of that horrible devastation, my senses were shocked, my heart spilled forth, and I did the best I could by contributing to ARC’s disaster relief fund. But that was easy. The most difficult part of any intervention has always been borne on the shoulders of selfless people such as you and your comrades. The fact that there are people who are willing to risk all for a cause they believe in, in which others are the recipients of their sacrifices, is overwhelming to me. There are so many, many, people who praise themselves for being so brave, so daring, for having engaged in some adventurous activity, or gone to college, or made some big bucks, started a business, survived cancer, or whatever. While those accomplishments may be worthwhile and even notable, they pale compared to what you and yours have done and do. Where would we be if not for heroes? For starters, we would not be a nation, but a satellite of the British Empire. If it were my decision, I would bestow by law the greatest compensation upon you and your brothers who serve in the military so that we are able to continue the grand experiment that is both America and democracy. Obviously you are a strong person to have done what you have done, and continue to do. I think that you deserve your piece of America, and you certainly deserve peace of mind. I feel that, with your “can do” attitude, you will indeed have your Blue Ridge farm. After reading you post, I am inspired.

Logos

 

[Bud Meister]

Hello, Bud Meister:

I am especially honored to hear from you. I never served because I was rejected by the military because of a medical condition. In some ways I regret it. But then I have to consider that had I gone to Viet Nam I, like 50,000 other kids, may have died in that war. I will never know of course if some greater force than myself orchestrated that scenario for my survival. I, therefore, don’t possess the military experience, let alone those that come with overseas service, and certainly not the experiences of armed conflict. I haven’t seen my friends killed. I haven’t seen carnage in foreign streets, nor the gratitude of nameless villagers. I haven’t helped our own, victims of nature’s wrath. Perhaps you were in the theater of Katrina’s aftermath. Viewing the many videos of that horrible devastation, my senses were shocked, my heart spilled forth, and I did the best I could by contributing to ARC’s disaster relief fund. But that was easy. The most difficult part of any intervention has always been borne on the shoulders of selfless people such as you and your comrades. The fact that there are people who are willing to risk all for a cause they believe in, in which others are the recipients of their sacrifices, is overwhelming to me. There are so many, many, people who praise themselves for being so brave, so daring, for having engaged in some adventurous activity, or gone to college, or made some big bucks, started a business, survived cancer, or whatever. While those accomplishments may be worthwhile and even notable, they pale compared to what you and yours have done and do. Where would we be if not for heroes? For starters, we would not be a nation, but a satellite of the British Empire. If it were my decision, I would bestow by law the greatest compensation upon you and your brothers who serve in the military so that we are able to continue the grand experiment that is both America and democracy. Obviously you are a strong person to have done what you have done, and continue to do. I think that you deserve your piece of America, and you certainly deserve peace of mind. I feel that, with your “can do” attitude, you will indeed have your Blue Ridge farm. After reading you post, I am inspired.

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Thanks my friend.

 

[Guest]

I figure the biggest change in my life is this...

I used to hide my weed smoking from my parents, and did a damn good job of it.
I now hide my weed smoking from my KIDS, and the old lady tells me I have never done a very good job of it.

LOL...don't know if this means that kids are just plain smarter than parents, OR parents get sloppy since they are now in the drivers seat?
It's hell gettin old...lol.

 

[Bud Meister]

It's hell gettin old...lol.

Aint that the truth. lol

At 46 I can still do all t he things I could do when I was 22. However, I find I get hurt easer and it takes me longer to heal.

 

[1G12]

How have I changed?

How have I changed?

More money to obtain much better smoke!!

 

[Logos]

I figure the biggest change in my life is this...

I used to hide my weed smoking from my parents, and did a damn good job of it.
I now hide my weed smoking from my KIDS, and the old lady tells me I have never done a very good job of it.

LOL...don't know if this means that kids are just plain smarter than parents, OR parents get sloppy since they are now in the drivers seat?
It's hell gettin old...lol.

Hi, Hoosierhash:

Good to hear from you. A friend once told me that at the rate Indiana was going, they would be fighting the British again, meaning the state was anything but moving forward with citizens' rights. I understand that the state passed a law which requires you to buy a license to hold a yard sale, and then you have to report and submit taxes on any sales. Gimme a break! Anyway, I have to wonder if your kids are hiding their smoking from you, while you are hiding your smoking from them. Kids are pretty darn intune, and I suspect they know everything already. What they don't know is what getting older has in store for them.

Aint that the truth. lol

At 46 I can still do all t he things I could do when I was 22. However, I find I get hurt easer and it takes me longer to heal.

Bud Meister has it right. When I was a kid I would climb trees, and when I wanted down I would simply jump. It's a wonder I didn't kill myself. If I were to attempt that stunt now, I'd not survive, at least not in one piece. So, we have to stay as active as we can in order not to be steamrolled by age. Sigh.

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[Logos]

More money to obtain much better smoke!!

Hey, 1G12:

I am glad you stopped in. Seems our circle of friends is ever growing. I certainly know what you mean by affording the better things in life. In my case, I grew up in an average town with a hicksville mentality. There were drugs, but they were difficult to find, and you really had to know someone with a good connection. Even then, there was no guarantee that the pot would be any good. I've smoked more shit weed than I care to remember, hacked my lungs out with each toke, paid too much for too little, and been ripped off. Now I live in a city other than my hometown. I don't have friends I grew up with and trust, which means I don't have contacts because I won't compromise my security. Hence, the only recourse has been to grow. So, now the upside is: I know from where and when my next quantity is coming. I know the cost and I know the qualtity of my product. My risk factor is nill because I'm not dealing with unknown people who could get me busted. Also, the possibility of getting ripped off doesn't exist. I am in total control, so there is no stress. My only apprehension has been in ordering seeds, but now I have a large enough supply and the ability to make more, so I no longer take the mail-risk. Too bad we haven't made the obvious leap into decriminalization so that we all can legally purchase top notch weed, openly, and at reasonable prices.

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