Freaky Insect Encounters While Stoned

[guest396]

^^^ I don't think I want some strange guy coming up to me and asking me to pet his beetle!!!

its called abstract humor. how come you don't get it? its not actually meant to get you a date, but laughs.

this is twice i've had to explain things too you.... i feel you would be the perfect cannadate for this experiment.

remember the title: freaky insect encounters while stoned not how to score with alicia silverstoner

get a june bug kite and catch up will ya, sheesh.

 

[RudolfTheRed]

got a thread about it in the outdoor forum.

scouting plots found roughly 60-70+ ticks on me.

 

[LolaGal]

well, I did play with June bugs on a string when I was a little kid. It was lots of fun.

we would tie sewing string to their back leg and fly them like kites till they wore out on us, then we would hafta get another june bug.

it was great fun. when I was 10 or so....

 

[Marywanna]

You can do that with big flies too. Personally,I always liked the magnifying glass shining on the anthills......but don't do it to REAL BIG ones,cuz those ants will tear you up. Who had an ANT FARM when they were little?

 

[TexasToker]

June bug kites have nothing on the Fly Kamikaze Squadron! The fuselage is a matchstick!

They have kits!

 

[LolaGal]

june bugs smell like the poop they live in !!!!

 

[plur]

Scary spider: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRV4d9LCawU

Oh dear lord I didn't need to see that...I HATE spiders...
I wouldn't consider this a freaky encounter, but one time me and my buddy were taking bong rips outside and he punched a bee out of the air in mid flight. Pretty cool.

 

[festivus]

I was on holiday in Mexico (I'm from the UK) in the Yucatan area near Tulum...chilling under a palm tree with my wifey and a coupla new buddies at about midnight when wham!...something lands on my neck...hmm I'll just swat that mosquito off....OUCH!!!!...holy shit there's a big fucking scorpion dangling from my wrist mid sting!!! It falls off after giving me a cheeky wink and scuttles away...

...luckily it was a big black one so I only had pins a needles up to my shoulder...but my God that was a bit sketchy for a while there! We were about to cut open the sting with a massive hunting knife and suck out the poison until a local guy just said if it was big and black no probs..!

It's the tiny cream fuckers that float in the wind that you gotta watch for.

Nice place though.

Fuck man, I always thought the big black scorps were the deadly ones. I grew up around tan scorps, we would catch em and put em in jars with other bugs and watch them fight. One time i put about 20 red ants in with a scorp- the red ants all attacked and the scorp was overwhelmed... for a minute. Then he began grabbing an ant in each pincer, sting, sting, throw away and grab 2 more. Sting, sting and so on until all ants were dead.

While i wasn't stoned, it was something I thought about when overwhelmed with too many problems.

 

[LolaGal]

Ok, here's a freaky insect story for ya'll.

Once I was smokin some good weed on a camping trip.

I toked way too much weed, went into the tent and went to sleep.

The mosquitoes were SO big, that while I was stoned, they drank my blood, and a bunch of them picked me up and carried me off into their secret jungle lair.

The Chief Mosquito was diggin on the good THC in my blood stream, so I was forced at mosquito stinger point to do their bidding.

I had to import large amounts of seeds from home, and teach the jungle tribes of pygmies how to grow the good weed before the mosquitoes would let me escape.

When I finally arrived back home after months in the jungle, I went straight to Lowe's and bought out all of the Mosquito Dunks that they had.

I wear one around my neck on a string at all times, just in case the mosquitoes run out of weed and come after me again.

 

[flubnutz]

i wonder if mosquitos who bite you when you're really stoned, get stoned too?

 

[Marywanna]

DANG! I gotta go out and get some of them skeeter dunks! I don't want what happened to Lola to happen to me! BASTARDS!

 

[cannagirl]

new england, southern more western part

and idk if they bite but we werent about to wait and find out.

the things body was 2.5-3" with almost 1" long pincers. scary as fuck after you just got high

EDIT: and im hardly afraid of bugs either. whenever i go to check my plot i always come back with a spidey or two dangling off me somewhere. just lets me know that theres someone/thing out there protecting my crops besides me. usually just little garden jumping spiders

Ok so I had to look this up the other day after you post because I wanted to know what the hell that was, so here is your answer to whether or not they bite.

The large DobsonFly like the one you pictured above is a male and those long mandibles are used for holding on the the female during intercourse. The male Dobson fly does not bite and is not harmful to humans. The female however has small pinchers and will bite humans and cause EXTREME pain.

 

[ZEROorDIE]

good to know. the females are scarier too, their smaller pincers are all serated and whatnot. still like a 1/2" long though.

 

[beejium]

these guys will protect ya from bugs! no one notices my newts and salamanders till they get high. some don't know weather to run or crap there pants. oddly girls love them and want to take them home. http://www.caudata.org/cc/images/species/Taricha/T_granulosa4JOHNSON.jpg

 

[guest396]

june bugs smell like the poop they live in !!!!

you slay me!!!! you go around smelling bugs?????

what type of turd do they smell like???? just curious.

 

[Hash Zeppelin]

I got twice by a yellow jacket while on mushrooms. I am alergic to bee's, but not extremely severe some people. It makes it hard to breath and I swell up big where i am stung. I was also camping on a long peninsula in a lake. I was with two people who were tripping harder than me, and we had to drive a huge camper van to a fucking gas station tripping balls so I could get and take half a box of benadryl. Then I chilled in there in the air conditioning for like 30 minute, because t was like 90 degress out, trying to stay awake. when we got back to the camp site I passed out in the van for like 4 hours and woke up still tripping and groggy. It was really weird.

 

[festivus]

So since the close call with the scorp last week, I've been keeping an eye out, shaking out my boots, sheets and towel. Here's what was under my lawn chair today.

I'm not obsessing or anything, and wouldn't have posted this, except it was the 2nd big brown spider I ran into today. Starting to wonder if these things are there all the time- we're too buisy to pay attention. Many of the scorps I find look like a dried out leaf at first glance. Luckily, they have a tendency to freeze, in hopes of blending in, rather than running.

 

[supermanlives]

while stoned and fishing. i was reclining waiting for a bite and found a tarantula cozying up to my stainless steel cofee cup.it reared up and got all agitated. i told it to fuck off and i only wanted fish. LOL

 

[LaOtraDroga]

I was mixing some nutes monday and had a potato bug crawl up my pant leg...freaked me out!

 

[LolaGal]

you slay me!!!! you go around smelling bugs?????

what type of turd do they smell like???? just curious.

No, but when I was a little kid, I picked the bugs up and played with them. Then I noticed that they made my hands really stink bad, like shit.

Then I got an encylopedia and realized I had been playing with a type of DUNG BEETLE.... yuck.

I was a smart little kid. I did not want to play with shit. I knew dung was a fancy word for shit so it might as well have said it was a SHIT BEETLE...

They are the kind who rolls little balls of shit around, then take them into the ground and lay eggs in the shit. The shit feeds their maggots, and life keeps turning for the june bug.