Chili - you and I brother. It's almost time to shift gears. 2020 will give birth to a new project. Something I've wanted to do for the last 7-8 years or so. Relentless, actually ditched his idea to leave it in my hands. He did so, knowing, that we could produce a better end result. You already know what it is. This is my legacy project. It's very likely, there will be another thread started - for another build - for commercial runs. True "spot" style. Just flower and drying rooms.
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To back track. I really appreciate the show of support and encouragement. I'll be 100% honest in saying, there is a part of me that feels absolutely stupid. Like I'm putting my head on the chopping block, handing someone an axe, and then daring them - but only after insulting their mother and grandmother and younger sister first.
I'm not exactly sure - why - I'm entertaining it, because I certainly wasn't looking. I wasn't in need. The end result is me feeling vulnerable and overly exposed and highly compromised.
Like any of you, I find red flags in things that other people don't associate with such. I see warning signs and threats in places others would never comprehend. It's important to have that discernment and to be CONFIDENT in knowing and trusting self - it's paramount.
The worst part about this interaction, is it makes me willing to doubt myself. This is one of the primary reasons I avoid outside influence in any capacity. I need to be able to think clearly. I need my senses highly tuned. I need my instincts to panic when appropriate and I need to have the confidence in that learned and developed person, which has now become innate, TO TRUST - and act on that intuition.
Giving a shit - about anyone - really compromises the fluidity of that intuition. I hate to say it, but in this game, it takes a very selfish person - to have the surety and consistency - to be able to HELP others. What an oxymoron.
How do you explain - if I get busted - then the people who have come to depend on me for their medicine, are also penalized and suffer and are defaulted to the pills that stole their soul again. (I have 3 now - oops. I can't not help someone in need, when they are truly seeking herb as MEDICINE.)
I'm honestly, REALLY touched by the outpouring of support. Not what I expected, honestly. If I was reading my thread, I'd see a vulnerable - and somehwat possibly compromised grower, making fool hardy decisions. If this was any of you posting this - I'd not be all too surprised to see a relatively concurrent post in the security sub-forums.
As you can clearly tell - I have no idea how to actually feel - what to actually think - and it's all so very unsettling for me.
I'd never share such contrite and irrelevant info in a grow thread - this thread isn't about me - it's about plants. About D.A.N.K. I don't want to dwell on this - but I also wanted you all to know I've not flaked out.
I realized earlier today, the only way I'm ever going to be able to make sense of "THIS" what ever it may or may not be - is sharing with the only people on the whole planet, that actually KNOW who I am.
My secrets have been laid bare on these walls for over a decade. I share this personal side of things, in that same tradition.
I'm not staking my world on her - cannabis - will ALWAYS - ALWAYS - be my priority and my reason for breathing. I love this plant. Mary is my mistress. I'm alive today because of this plant. I'm who I am today because of this plant. My entire world view, my entire reality, has been shaped - in part - by this plant.
---------------------------------------------------
Enough is enough. I'm done talking about this particular subject in this thread.
We have more important...relations...to worry about.
DISCLAIMER
I am not allowed to share ANY genetic component of what I'm about to discuss. It was a very clear and understood parameter that was set in place by KG. These are private genes. I was SUPPOSED to cull ALL males.
I've NEVER done this. I've always just grabbed the Fiskars and held to the rules.
SORRY -NOT SORRY-.
This male that surfaced in the Mochiesel, is impossibly unique. It really is a throwback, recessive OG phenotype. It doesn't smell like TK on a stem rub and is a bit to lanky in it's structure to be a TK OG type pheno - I *think* it is a Biker Kush pheno.
Except, the male has ZERO smell. A bit of maybe green tea-ish - but otherwise, you'd never know he existed. His structure though, is not even remotely the same as the siblings. You'd think it was a different seed line.
All the same, the OG is way too buried in this line for such an expression. The other plants aren't remotely the same. They are clearly, some sort of mash up hybrid.
My plan for this pollen, is to make a few personal F2's for line preservation - and to get the Forum cut back - to hit her with it. I think - that is the match made in heaven. The only other cut I'd consider mixing him with - is the GLC cut. Not enough people have paid attention to that one. I *think* that cut is a possibility worth exploring. I think the Forum cut, is the golden goose to lay them eggs.
Karma Genetics - restricted Mochiesel pollen.
When in Boston, I took a brief moment to ask O a bit more detail about her budder. This represents a 1/4 lb to 1lb of butter. 1oz per stick more or less. These cookies are 280-320 mg per cookie. I've learned they trash the normies. I get the "wtf did you put in that" question a bit too often maybe...LOL.
I forget that medical tolerance is NOT the same as those who use cannabis in a recreational sense. But then, recreational users don't have the access growers do in order to accommodate such a provision.
At the end of the day, it is a new leaf I'm turning over. I'm just don't want to present a false construct.
Hell. It very well could be me posting in the securities and legal sub-forum next!!!! I certainly hope not.
Those 3 rules exist for a reason. I've broken them. I hope I don't pay the price. This is certainly the point in the thread in which I assert - do as I say, not as I'm doing. (unless we are discussing soil; which then in that case, just cut and paste.
)
dank.Frank
-------------------
To back track. I really appreciate the show of support and encouragement. I'll be 100% honest in saying, there is a part of me that feels absolutely stupid. Like I'm putting my head on the chopping block, handing someone an axe, and then daring them - but only after insulting their mother and grandmother and younger sister first.
I'm not exactly sure - why - I'm entertaining it, because I certainly wasn't looking. I wasn't in need. The end result is me feeling vulnerable and overly exposed and highly compromised.
Like any of you, I find red flags in things that other people don't associate with such. I see warning signs and threats in places others would never comprehend. It's important to have that discernment and to be CONFIDENT in knowing and trusting self - it's paramount.
The worst part about this interaction, is it makes me willing to doubt myself. This is one of the primary reasons I avoid outside influence in any capacity. I need to be able to think clearly. I need my senses highly tuned. I need my instincts to panic when appropriate and I need to have the confidence in that learned and developed person, which has now become innate, TO TRUST - and act on that intuition.
Giving a shit - about anyone - really compromises the fluidity of that intuition. I hate to say it, but in this game, it takes a very selfish person - to have the surety and consistency - to be able to HELP others. What an oxymoron.
How do you explain - if I get busted - then the people who have come to depend on me for their medicine, are also penalized and suffer and are defaulted to the pills that stole their soul again. (I have 3 now - oops. I can't not help someone in need, when they are truly seeking herb as MEDICINE.)
I'm honestly, REALLY touched by the outpouring of support. Not what I expected, honestly. If I was reading my thread, I'd see a vulnerable - and somehwat possibly compromised grower, making fool hardy decisions. If this was any of you posting this - I'd not be all too surprised to see a relatively concurrent post in the security sub-forums.
As you can clearly tell - I have no idea how to actually feel - what to actually think - and it's all so very unsettling for me.
I'd never share such contrite and irrelevant info in a grow thread - this thread isn't about me - it's about plants. About D.A.N.K. I don't want to dwell on this - but I also wanted you all to know I've not flaked out.
I realized earlier today, the only way I'm ever going to be able to make sense of "THIS" what ever it may or may not be - is sharing with the only people on the whole planet, that actually KNOW who I am.
My secrets have been laid bare on these walls for over a decade. I share this personal side of things, in that same tradition.
I'm not staking my world on her - cannabis - will ALWAYS - ALWAYS - be my priority and my reason for breathing. I love this plant. Mary is my mistress. I'm alive today because of this plant. I'm who I am today because of this plant. My entire world view, my entire reality, has been shaped - in part - by this plant.
---------------------------------------------------
Enough is enough. I'm done talking about this particular subject in this thread.
We have more important...relations...to worry about.
DISCLAIMER
I am not allowed to share ANY genetic component of what I'm about to discuss. It was a very clear and understood parameter that was set in place by KG. These are private genes. I was SUPPOSED to cull ALL males.
I've NEVER done this. I've always just grabbed the Fiskars and held to the rules.
SORRY -NOT SORRY-.
This male that surfaced in the Mochiesel, is impossibly unique. It really is a throwback, recessive OG phenotype. It doesn't smell like TK on a stem rub and is a bit to lanky in it's structure to be a TK OG type pheno - I *think* it is a Biker Kush pheno.
Except, the male has ZERO smell. A bit of maybe green tea-ish - but otherwise, you'd never know he existed. His structure though, is not even remotely the same as the siblings. You'd think it was a different seed line.
All the same, the OG is way too buried in this line for such an expression. The other plants aren't remotely the same. They are clearly, some sort of mash up hybrid.
My plan for this pollen, is to make a few personal F2's for line preservation - and to get the Forum cut back - to hit her with it. I think - that is the match made in heaven. The only other cut I'd consider mixing him with - is the GLC cut. Not enough people have paid attention to that one. I *think* that cut is a possibility worth exploring. I think the Forum cut, is the golden goose to lay them eggs.
Karma Genetics - restricted Mochiesel pollen.
When in Boston, I took a brief moment to ask O a bit more detail about her budder. This represents a 1/4 lb to 1lb of butter. 1oz per stick more or less. These cookies are 280-320 mg per cookie. I've learned they trash the normies. I get the "wtf did you put in that" question a bit too often maybe...LOL.
I forget that medical tolerance is NOT the same as those who use cannabis in a recreational sense. But then, recreational users don't have the access growers do in order to accommodate such a provision.
At the end of the day, it is a new leaf I'm turning over. I'm just don't want to present a false construct.
Hell. It very well could be me posting in the securities and legal sub-forum next!!!! I certainly hope not.
Those 3 rules exist for a reason. I've broken them. I hope I don't pay the price. This is certainly the point in the thread in which I assert - do as I say, not as I'm doing. (unless we are discussing soil; which then in that case, just cut and paste.
)dank.Frank
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I know I'm a bit of an intense person so I do try to tone that back. Good advice!
