are you biased against people who don't look like you?

[bagend12]

not talking about race here...

I'm pretty much a white collar worker with a clean cut appearance. Clothes are always clean even if its weekend lounge around clothes..just a habit from need to look neat at work. Hair is cut short in a buzz cut just because i can't stand having long hair..

One thing I've found is that often times I'll get the hairy eyeball from the folks that have maintained the stoner/hippie appearance well into adulthood even though we often times share the same interests.

Could be my imagination, but I oftentimes think in the back of my mind that there exists a bias among the more hardcore stoner/hippie like looking folks towards those of us who don't sport that look.

 

[_tessarecting]

I look like a redneck, I guess I am one though

 

[armedoldhippy]

i was a longhair all through high school. joined the USAF & ended up in Fayetteville NC at Pope AFB. the longhairs in the bars on Hay street there were the biggest assholes on the planet because i had short hair...

 

[mr.brunch]

I am not generally swayed too much by appearance, as I have known people who are the most knowledgeable you could meet who look like hippies, and some people who look like they are high flyers yet are unable to rub two words together.
Also have met some people who I assumed smoked weed because of their appearance, yet were totally straight laced.
Never judge a book by its cover

 

[Weird]

I was fixing a server for a dentist client the other day. He asked my about my barber. Pretty much because I was rocking the complete homeless look. I smelt like pot too because I had some funky shoes on (my feet sweat pot so my shoes get funky quick.)

Now to put everything into context I had put his office equipment together for a fraction of competition and did a bang up job so he knew my skill sets. Before he had asked me about my hair I had made note of his OCD, basically calling him out on it but not in a judgmental way.

So I told him straight out, it was a filtering system. I said there are two types of people dress to conform, conformists and con men, and that being neither, I had no desire to conform to that paradigm. I shared with him my business credo, that basically I don't want to do business with someone who understands value from a superficial point of view, and that those who employ that technique where not shrewd business owners and I have no desire to bed with failures. I also told him that I serviced clients from a perspective of their bottom line and business flow, not from a position of brands and companies I had a profit relationship with.

By the end of the conversation he asked if I could do all the same services at a new office that I had done to the old one.

Most people, even very successful and intelligent people, have subconscious stigma and programming which can be counter intuitive. Being able to enlighten them to their own folly, in a way that is not confrontational but empowering, is a helpful skill set if you are someone who doesn't march to the beat of mainstream's drum.


FWIW I don't have dreads I have super thick hair that I neglect to cut and I rock a proper homeless stalker look a good part of the time.

 

[mowood3479]

Good post Weird... I guess I fall into the con-man category.. I rock a high and tight Leo/army look.
I find it helps tremendously in my interactions with cops and gomer homeowners.
Since I went from long hair to the cop look... Cops haven't wanted to look in my ride and homeowner can't wait to hand me a big check to do work on their home.
It does suck tho, cause being someone ur not all the time to avoid prison and make more $ is lame.. But I really dislike cages so I'll keep telling the barber gimme the cop cut.

 

[Genghis Kush]

its deep rooted and primal. In tribal times we identified with those that wore the same symbols as our group. Those that looked different where a potential threat.
Hair style and clothing choice still reflect what group we identify with and the primal subconscious fear still manifests it self.

Us and Them

 

[Weird]

Good post Weird... I guess I fall into the con-man category.. I rock a high and tight Leo/army look.
I find it helps tremendously in my interactions with cops and gomer homeowners.
Since I went from long hair to the cop look... Cops haven't wanted to look in my ride and homeowner can't wait to hand me a big check to do work on their home.
It does suck tho, cause being someone ur not all the time to avoid prison and make more $ is lame.. But I really dislike cages so I'll keep telling the barber gimme the cop cut.

I call it camouflage lol I live in the heart of materialistic Babylon, and I have pressures around me like LEO and stuff around me and in my life so I have always had to play it cool.

It sucks not to be able to be honest, and I have friends who live their lifestyle on their sleeves, who pay the prices and reap the rewards the rewards thereof.

As I have gotten older being honest is the only thing I care for and I hate to be phony. I guess I am lucky my wife is pretty conformist by nature and at some point won't let me lay with her if I don't cut my hair, etc.

People start to treat me really differently when I look unkempt, shows how fucking shallow our world is and it makes me so sick.

The saddest part is that is sucks as a way to gauge human integrity. The people who try to fit in often have something to hide (as you and I have had to do) and people who live their life on the outside (take bikers for example) are pretty upfront in regards to what they are about.

In today's world some of the worst offenses are the cons pulled off by people pretending to be of benefit when they only want your money. Scams and profiteering are lowering the bar for humanity and they are pulled off best by a sharp dressed man/woman.

 

[Weird]

its deep rooted and primal. In tribal times we identified with those that wore the same symbols as our group. Those that looked different where a potential threat.
Hair style and clothing choice still reflect what group we identify with and the primal subconscious fear still manifests it self.

Us and Them

So are other malignant behaviors we no longer accept in society.

I feel that this us vs them mantra needs to change to a more accurate us versus ourselves (past evolutionary form versus our evolutionary potential that is starting to be realized)

I think that people are seeing it, and I do believe that legalization can bring pot to more people which can open the minds eye to the same realization.

 

[stoned-trout]

yes I hate yuppies and clean cut people.....rednecks rule biotches....yeehaw...you all get a yuppie/ clean cut tax of atleast 15% more than a brother redneck

 

[blastfrompast]

M'eh...for me it is just hair....waste of time brushing it for work, so I just buzz it off myself to a #2 cut...

My son sports a Mohawk that is also my handy work as I am pretty good with a set of shears....his choice...he is 6.

Overall tho I dress like a beatnik on the weekends.... tho m-f 9/5 im in biz casual clothes due to work....

Do I care what people think.....sooooo far from it...

 

[lawlrus]

I was fixing a server for a dentist client the other day. He asked my about my barber. Pretty much because I was rocking the complete homeless look. I smelt like pot too because I had some funky shoes on (my feet sweat pot so my shoes get funky quick.)

Now to put everything into context I had put his office equipment together for a fraction of competition and did a bang up job so he knew my skill sets. Before he had asked me about my hair I had made note of his OCD, basically calling him out on it but not in a judgmental way.

So I told him straight out, it was a filtering system. I said there are two types of people dress to conform, conformists and con men, and that being neither, I had no desire to conform to that paradigm. I shared with him my business credo, that basically I don't want to do business with someone who understands value from a superficial point of view, and that those who employ that technique where not shrewd business owners and I have no desire to bed with failures. I also told him that I serviced clients from a perspective of their bottom line and business flow, not from a position of brands and companies I had a profit relationship with.

By the end of the conversation he asked if I could do all the same services at a new office that I had done to the old one.

Most people, even very successful and intelligent people, have subconscious stigma and programming which can be counter intuitive. Being able to enlighten them to their own folly, in a way that is not confrontational but empowering, is a helpful skill set if you are someone who doesn't march to the beat of mainstream's drum.


FWIW I don't have dreads I have super thick hair that I neglect to cut and I rock a proper homeless stalker look a good part of the time.

Really? Conformists or con-men, no middle ground huh? For somebody who is supposed to be so enlightened you sure are discriminatory.

Shouldn't you be espousing a live-and-let-live policy for the former at least? You have a skillset that apparently lends you the ability to make some sort of living (not sure exactly how good of one) while looking like a self-described homeless person. That's great. My career requires me to not look like that, or smell like that, or act like that. I chose the career because I enjoy it and I'm great at it. I also live in a very small mountain town where everyone knows everyone and probable cause and due process are non-existent if they think they can catch you with some dope. You can call it camoflauge or you can call it "integrating into society" but whatever you call it, does dressing cleanly and showing people respect and politeness in my interactions make me less than you because you fancy yourself to have that third eye wide open? Get a grip dude.

 

[MJPassion]

not talking about race here...

I'm pretty much a white collar worker with a clean cut appearance. Clothes are always clean even if its weekend lounge around clothes..just a habit from need to look neat at work. Hair is cut short in a buzz cut just because i can't stand having long hair..

One thing I've found is that often times I'll get the hairy eyeball from the folks that have maintained the stoner/hippie appearance well into adulthood even though we often times share the same interests.

Could be my imagination, but I oftentimes think in the back of my mind that there exists a bias among the more hardcore stoner/hippie like looking folks towards those of us who don't sport that look.

I'm the stinky hippy type now a days but have almost always kept my hair long.

Your lifestyle is a waste of resources, imo, but it's your lifestyle, not mine.

To answer your question specifically...
How the hell do you expect us (stinky hippy types) to KNOW your not a cop?
It really is that simple.

I wouldnt say its a judgement against you but exactly as you suggest opinions are biased based upon appearances.
It's unfortunate but its a reality we all deal with.

 

[Betterhaff]

Could be my imagination, but I oftentimes think in the back of my mind that there exists a bias among the more hardcore stoner/hippie like looking folks towards those of us who don't sport that look.

This could also be turned around…there might be a bias among the clean cut toward the hippy/stoner look. Really what you are describing here is more along the lines of stereotype.

 

[stoned-trout]

ya they all ask me for weed...yeehaw..I just look like someone who has drugs..its ok with me I don't wanna hang out just hand me your cash

 

[floralheart]

My driver's license says military man, my appearance says no haircut or shave in almost 2 years. It's fun to let the police try and figure it out.

Got a little under a year to decide if my license will look like a werewolf photo or not.

 

[floralheart]

People's assumptions are funny. Last summer I noticed people started thanking me for my service, based on my lack of shaving. Nothing more.

Gain a little weight, people chuckle; lift a little weight, people cower and hang back. It's funny. Some years I'm in suits, some years I'm in sweats. Snap judgements; It's just how people are wired.

 

[Weird]

Really? Conformists or con-men, no middle ground huh? For somebody who is supposed to be so enlightened you sure are discriminatory.

If you know of a middle ground, share it.

Remember this is entirely in context to appearance in regards to capacity and how they use of that metric is not appropriate, i.e. our value should not be predicated on how we look.

Shouldn't you be espousing a live-and-let-live policy for the former at least?

I do, once again;

This is entirely in context to appearance in regards to capacity and how they use of that metric is not appropriate, i.e. our value should not be predicated on how we look.

Thomas Jefferson says in matters of principle stand like a rock and in matters of taste swim with the fish. All I am doing is adding to that saying in matters of integrity don't use matters of taste as a metric.

I told him in a world of 1's and 0's, garbage in and garbage out, my appearance had nothing to do with integrity. I then said the use of superficial metrics such as appearance then offers the guise of conforming as a false sign of success. I also stated that a percentage of people make decisions based on superficial criteria and I don't waste my time with those people because in my experience business people who make decisions based on that don't stay in business very long.

Fake it till you make it is a very common business mantra, Personally I don't fake anything.

You have a skillset that apparently lends you the ability to make some sort of living (not sure exactly how good of one) while looking like a self-described homeless person. That's great. My career requires me to not look like that, or smell like that, or act like that.

Well since it is my own business I call the shots, and since I get paid by proof of performance I must be good enough. Sorry you have to march to the beat of someone else's drum to get paid.

I don't live to work, I do just enough work to live, I could care less about material possessions. I left the corporate world because I found it contemptible. I manage to keep my value in both the tech and weed markets because I have a level of integrity, not because I use my charisma (yeah I posses that as well) as a tool to persuade. I find people that do reprehensible, and I tell them to their face.

I chose the career because I enjoy it and I'm great at it. I also live in a very small mountain town where everyone knows everyone and probable cause and due process are non-existent if they think they can catch you with some dope.

Same dynamic exists here, one reason I left the corporate world and opened my own business.

You can call it camoflauge or you can call it "integrating into society" but whatever you call it, does dressing cleanly and showing people respect and politeness in my interactions make me less than you because you fancy yourself to have that third eye wide open? Get a grip dude.

You have taken it out of context and made it personal. Not cool.

In the business world, superficial metrics do not add value. It is a matter of logic, thus I was able to keep my client because he conceded to the same notion. I don't want ANY BUSINESS where the owner is mentally inept. I am very particular who I do business with. I would rather not have than comprise for something, I am not a prostitute.

Superficial metrics allow people to perpetuate the worse crimes against humanity. Child molesters integrate into society from the clergy, that is a good example of what an outward appearance means in regards to integrity. Same with Sandusky. You know why it happened? because it was too important to everyone who was a witness or a victim to conform for the benefit of career, success and self prestige than it was to be a man and call out a molester. And the same works in reverse. Superficial judgement filters out other people of quality that don't conform to those standards.

In terms of business psychology 50% of people are conformists, that is they feel more comfortable when they conform to the norm, and they thrive working within structure. So trust me, I get it, as an executive I had to work within that framework.

Now I don't and the longer I keep myself distant I become from it (superficial measurements) the less I can rationalize any benefit from them.

 

[AvidLerner]

Asking people t trust on initial appearance is a lot. How a person presents them self is the first and most important moment. You do not get a do over. If you choose to appear conservative, liberal, rich, poor, hip, chick, or pick one, it is an active choice you made, and the outcomes are what they are.

I learned some time ago at a seminar on retail, yes retail operations. It went like this:

Do what you always do, get what you always got. What something different, do something different.

That would include all choices made in life including appearance. I look like an old grizzled biker, not the the kind you introduce to your family. I am happy with who I am. Anyone not happy with who I am, has the choice to move on or not. I allow all folks the right to be who they want to be, myself included.

 

[doob]

Cool thread, stoned trout you crack me up haha, legend.

I rock short hair (always have), work in the city, don't smoke all day, no one I deal with in my working life would say I was a stoner. I have a tattoo sleeve, which I keep covered at work. People are so judgemental aren't they, but then stereotypes are so often right so no wonder..