You know you live in the country if......

[moose eater]

Stoner said it right,except for the butterknife .that would hurt the most.you don't give guns as gifts around here cause they'll use it!

Meh.. Around here, guns are like fingernails; everybody's got at least 8 of 'em.

I just trust my second wife a lot more; never been a binge drunk or snorted her weight in cocaine.

We've been married for 29 years this coming June. She now owns several handguns I've either built or bought for her; some nicer than mine.

I built a custom .454 Casul stnls for her, with a machined muzzle brake, lighter trigger and hammer springs, tuned action, etc. I now carry it on the snowmobiles or hunting more often than I carry my boat anchor of a 4" S&W .500 Mag. Smaller, lighter, plenty of force to it, etc.

That's the nice part of giving a more sane spouse a firearm; -you- get to use the guns too!!!

 

[Stoner4Life]

screams 'I'm pure country' to me.......

 

[al70]

Wellll it might be someone on the run,, lol

 

[shithawk420]

I wouldnt even let Bubbles live in that shitshack.

 

[al70]

lol

 

[Snook]

screams 'I'm pure country' to me.......

View Image

Truck is too clean..

 

[Kalachakra]

If you see that, there you are...

 

[moose eater]

Nearly everyone in your area owns either all-wheel or 4-wheel drive vehicles, 'cause you're typically the last place on the planet to get a snow plow to clean the roads.

 

[ChinggisKhaan]

The local realtor says "there was a surge in homes for sale. Last year there were 3 homes for sale and this year there are 4"

 

[Robrites]

Your grandma taught you to make "Corn and Oysters" for Thanksgiving.

 

[moose eater]

Your grandma taught you to make "Corn and Oysters" for Thanksgiving.

I'm all out of rep again, but....

That's one of the few tug-of-wars at my house on Thanksgiving. I like oyster stuffing (the traditional method, with bread crumbs/cubes, onion, celery, oyster 'juice,' some turkey giblets, etc.).

My wife doesn't care for it.

So we alternate years, as to who gets to put their preferred stuffing into the bird, versus the drier stuffing baked early on in a baking dish... I'm hoping she can't remember I won last year..

Of course, we could always do the democratic 2 wolves and one sheep voting on what's for dinner thing, as my youngest son prefers the oyster stuffing, too.

Nah, I'd better be nice. She's making the apple pie with Honey Crisp apples in it, as opposed to Granny Smiths; I suspect it'll turn out like a plush pippin pie.

I don't particularly care for pumpkin pie.. The other Thanksgiving tug-of-war.. I've no use for the pumpkin pie, and my wife views it as a religious necessity.

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......

you love the local rockfest, reeeeeeally love the fest

btw, @ our local fest www.moondancejam.com the owner brings in Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders to mingle in the crowds, the girls are gorgeous.

BUT! they're all as skinny as a rail, most are in that 88lb. (40kg) to 99lb. (45kg) weight range, none were extremely taller than any others as I imagine that would look like shit when they line up on the field 5'6" to 5'9" (167.5cm to 175cm) most of them.

 

[DuskrayTroubador]

If it ain't cooked in cast iron it ain't worthy of being put on the supper table.

Yeah, the supper table.

 

[Stoner4Life]

You know you live in the country if.......

You know you live in the country if.......


you'd agree: that if God had intended man to eat
kale, he would have made it more fun to shoot

 

[Robrites]

 

[Gry]

Cake taker.

 

[St. Phatty]

When you start having to put traps in your living room. And not for mice.

 

[coldcanna]

When there's one store in town and you can order a pizza, get gas, building supplies, bullets, beer and rolling papers and get your deer weighed in. I mean seriously what else could you need ?

 

[shithawk420]

I got 1 gas station,one bar and one barber shop.one school grades k-12.one cemetery and 2 churches.so do I win or do I lose?lol

 

[moose eater]

I got 1 gas station,one bar and one barber shop.one school grades k-12.one cemetery and 2 churches.so do I win or do I lose?lol

In any given, smaller, freedom-loving, cross-roads community, you should always have a 1:1 ratio between bars and churches, 3 x's that many pot dealers and growers, and at least ONE strip club, lest you fall prey to the Moral Majority developing the troubling notion that they control the greater portion of votes. and begin to shape your life for you... with or without your consent

In the event that the 2 or more churches in your community also practice aggressive evangelical outreach, you should -always- have at least ONE joint of good quality, pre-rolled, and waiting in a candy dish in the entryway, by the door, so that when they come knocking, you can be neighborly, and be as generous with your vices as they are with theirs.