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You know you live in the country if......
- Thread starter Bud Green
- Start date
You live in the country because you finally figured out that there's crazy, and then there's crazy. But no matter whatever anything you do, or don't do, is ever going to change any of that. So you just live your life and try to be happy.
yeah. wish i had figured that out 55 years ago...
Im'One
Active member
You know you only think you live in the country if you can see your neighbor's Trump 2020 sign.
TychoMonolyth
Boreal Curing
You can confidently identify a Weed smell and a Skunk smell driving down a dirt road.
aint it a great feeling? i actually miss being young and doing things like that. don't miss the chiggers though...
Snook
Still Learning
I remember when woodchuck hunting a dairy farm upstate NY, being so focused on a chuck 3300-350 yards away and laying, chest first, onto a fresh cow patty and not realizing it til I stood up. Had to wait till it dried to knock it off but was funky smellin' the rest of the day. Getting lunch at the general store, I created a wake of people as they gained my aroma and moved away... Funk fond memories.aint it a great feeling? i actually miss being young and doing things like that. don't miss the chiggers though...
EDIT: Hi Bud.
Lemme tell ya 'bout cow dung. I had to help a relative with a small herd of cows. I knew a bit about horses, but handling cows was new to me. Within days one of them was giving birth in the middle of a large field, but the calf was too big and it needed help, so I had to wear a long glove and push my whole arm through the vagina to hold the calf's legs with a rope, then lay down flat on my back to keep pushing while the other was controlling the extraction and giving me directions, when the cow released a generous mixture of shit and fluids all on top of me, and then the calf itself. That was a "successful birth". I walked numbly towards the river and let myself in. It was cold as fuck but I stayed in until the first signs of hypothermia while my relative was still laughing. Talk about a double baptysm. Funniest bit is that ten years later I still work with cows, and I've seen far worse things.
Im'One
Active member
I was a cattle farmer for years, mom had a cow needing help so she called and i dropped everything and I rushed over. She had the cow in the barn in a chute and she handed me the pulling chains. I got behind the cow and put Dawn soap on my arms then reached way up and found the ankles wrapped the half hitch, begain pulling in time with the contractions. Mom ran back to the house to get Iodine or something who knows? I got a little more then water broke and poured on me..then cow pissed on me I got a little more out and she shit all over me, I'm sitting in it by now and the blood and all and the calf is coming. Mom comes in the barn and yells "wait I need some clean straw for him to land in!" Really mom?
St. Phatty
Active member
and you realized that the foot not standing in the cow shit is cold.
Soon both feet are warm.
TychoMonolyth
Boreal Curing
Ah... the life of a farmer.
My brother's job was washing cow tails every once in a while. He called them Shit Mops. Lol You don't want to get slapped with that.
My brother's job was washing cow tails every once in a while. He called them Shit Mops. Lol You don't want to get slapped with that.
When you explore a field that's never had cattle in it and the whole damn herd comes thundering 'round the bend heading straight for you!!!
watching for deer running out into the road is automatic, not second nature...
St. Phatty
Active member
My neighbor was telling me about his Single Shot Black Powder club.
They shoot steel silhouettes, in an informal 6 hour tournament.
I wonder what would happen if someone tried to start a rifle club/range
in Eastern Silicon Valley, California, out near Livermore and the wind turbines.
They shoot steel silhouettes, in an informal 6 hour tournament.
I wonder what would happen if someone tried to start a rifle club/range
in Eastern Silicon Valley, California, out near Livermore and the wind turbines.
