When did you tell your kids what you do?

[wantaknow]

fuck dare i home schooled my kids,and my son got a scholarship to play ball,screw school ,teach them yourselves ,then they dont get brainwashed by dare and other programs like the ones in tx where the are wearing 24/7 a necklace so they can track them 24 /7 and in pa the school gave all the kidds a lap top so they could watch them at home over the web cam ,they got sued ffor that one btw

 

[festivus]

I told my kids after my ex threatened to rat me out. They pretty much knew already though.

 

[tamworthrope]

I understand everyone has their own cross to bear and different styles of parenting. Just being there is half the battle. I give everyone on this thread credit for discussing this tricky subject.

Having said that I truly don’t understand why it is so important to tell your kids at 12, 17 even 19. Why?

Do you come home sit down with your kids and talk about your complete day at work? I doubt many of us involve our kids with our day-to-day activities. You don’t discuss the day’s politics at the office or for that matter the TV with your kids. Kids typically aren't interested and at 12-17 they aren't cable, many times, of understanding the cause and effect of some of these choices. Shit I’m 50 and I still have a tough time with the big decisions abortion, welfare, drugs etc.

I have been a drinker and smoker all my adult life. I don’t drink or smoke in front of them because I know subconsciously I'm making choices for them rather than them making their own.
My oldest child is 21 I really want to tell her I smoke and you want to know the sad reason is. The ugly truth, like many people, as our children become adults we have grown apart and I am always looking for things we can do together. I love her and I see the many walls we have between us and I hate it. I love the outdoors and many sports but when I engage in them it’s usually on a weekend and I am smoking and drinking.

I keep telling myself the reason we don’t spend as much time together is because this secret pushes us apart. It’s really BS and I know it if I was less selfish I could do all these things without beer or weed. I made the choice, not my kids, years ago to be selfish and do these things. I have to live with that and not find an excuse like “unjust laws”. It’s all BS I am living proof it’s just hard to turn the ego off and look inside the dark truth. You don’t need pot to live you do need love though.

So why would a person involve their kids with personal decisions like smoking pot?? It’s simple (my opinion) because its not for the kids its for you. I have wanted to tell my kids I smoke pot for many years and always wanted to think it was for them. When you sit down and really remove the ego from it the only person who benefits from it is you. It allows you to openly do something you enjoy rather than having to go through the extra effort of constantly hiding the act and the more importantly the smell. (It’s pretty easy to hide the act but the smell takes a lot more work).

I know I know some will jump in and tell me, “I want my kids to know the real truth about pot not what the man says!!!”

Well then go ahead you can educate your kids without involving them in your habit. Millions of parents do it everyday there are many ways to broach the subject. The only reason to bring your illegal or legal smoking into their lives is for you. Trust me I wish I was a bigger person I'm not but I'm also not going to make false excuses for myself.

PEACE

 

[SeaMaiden]

Why would I tell my kids anything about anything I do...? Because, it's part of my job as their mother to teach them how to live life well. In doing that I admit my mistakes, I don't only show my successes. I don't hide it when I drink a glass of wine, my children aren't harmed by the mere observance of someone smoking a cigarette and even sex isn't something to be hidden or ashamed of, and in my experience kids always have questions, about everything, even things you don't think of until they ask.

Unjust laws are not bullshit, they're very real. As has been my experience with my kids, those of others that we've taken in, and our grandchild. I stand firm in my opinion, it's better to be honest, obviously in an age-appropriate manner, than to hide. Period.

Oh my God, I see that you assume we don't discuss politics with our kids! That's standard dinner table discussion fare in my family, good Lord God. And of COURSE we discuss our day-to-day things, who wouldn't? I grew up with my father telling ER stories, and stories about some weird x-rays he read, or a patient who had problems with the gastro-intestinal series, or some very sick person. And I grew up with my mother discussing the sick and disabled people she worked with, on a daily basis.

I also grew up hearing my parents and grandparents have some rather heated political debates, and I was drawn in at a very early age. From as far as I can remember, I've been taught to vote, to be involved, to know what's going on and know who's pulling the strings, by *both* sides of my family.

I assumed everyone did the same thing. I assumed that is how people raise their kids, that it's the only way to teach them your beliefs, ideals, and how to live once they've grown and are on their own.

 

[redbudduckfoot]

you remind me of my big sister, SeaMaiden. breath of fresh air, u are.

rbdf

 

[tamworthrope]

Why would I tell my kids anything about anything I do...? Because, it's part of my job as their mother to teach them how to live life well. In doing that I admit my mistakes, I don't only show my successes. I don't hide it when I drink a glass of wine, my children aren't harmed by the mere observance of someone smoking a cigarette and even sex isn't something to be hidden or ashamed of, and in my experience kids always have questions, about everything, even things you don't think of until they ask.

Unjust laws are not bullshit, they're very real. As has been my experience with my kids, those of others that we've taken in, and our grandchild. I stand firm in my opinion, it's better to be honest, obviously in an age-appropriate manner, than to hide. Period.

Oh my God, I see that you assume we don't discuss politics with our kids! That's standard dinner table discussion fare in my family, good Lord God. And of COURSE we discuss our day-to-day things, who wouldn't? I grew up with my father telling ER stories, and stories about some weird x-rays he read, or a patient who had problems with the gastro-intestinal series, or some very sick person. And I grew up with my mother discussing the sick and disabled people she worked with, on a daily basis.

I also grew up hearing my parents and grandparents have some rather heated political debates, and I was drawn in at a very early age. From as far as I can remember, I've been taught to vote, to be involved, to know what's going on and know who's pulling the strings, by *both* sides of my family.

I assumed everyone did the same thing. I assumed that is how people raise their kids, that it's the only way to teach them your beliefs, ideals, and how to live once they've grown and are on their own.

Hey nothing like a mom to set a dad straight more power to you and thanks for the different opinion.

My wife and I chose to try not to fight/argue, drink or smoke in front of our kids. In the beginning of my long winded post I made a point that everyone has different parenting styles so its always tough to have these discussions and man especially with a mother.

You know what else I don't believe in is GOD and you know what else i never pushed on my kids was my disbelief in GOD.

To me it was important for my kids to get many ideas not just mine. If asked I would have told them but i always allowed them to experience church and faith with their friends if they wanted too. I never once put my two cents in. This is too big of a decision for them to have their parent to step in and preach what they profess to be right or wrong. Discuss absolutely.

I remember my discussion when my daughter left for college. I told her a long winded story but I ended on;

"I'm just one person with one opinion you need to find others to see where you fit in. I don't have beliefs I have ideas and ideas were meant to be challenged beliefs aren't. Ask any fanatic . "

I will never claim to be the answer to everything any person needs in life especially my kids. When someone tells you they are absolutely sure about something run like hell because they are full of shit.

When it comes to life lessons no one has the complete answers.
I agree that telling your kids what you have done in your past to show your life lesson is a great idea more power to you. But in my opinion if you think for one second that by smoking or drinking or preaching religion(for or against) in front of your kids isn't a form of enabling we disagree.

Is it the end of the world no. Does it make you a horrible parent hell no!! I hope that's not what you thought I said.

Again I'm not saying a glass of wine is bad hell I told you I am a week human my self who smokes and drinks. All I'm saying all things have consequences and most people because of the inherent human ego refuse to see them but they are there.

I'm interested in hearing what your child actually gains from you telling them you smoke pot.

Because I know you and I both want whats best for our kids it was obvious in your post you are a good mom.

Tell me what more they gain then having a general discussion about drugs then telling them you smoke pot.
Especially in a non-med state and the last time I checked there are way more non-med states.

What bit of knowledge are you imparting differently??? What life lesson are they gaining from telling them you smoke rather than providing facts about the drug and its culture??

Is this lesson more important than giving your child a unbiased view of the drug?
Do you think you can give a unbiased view if you tell them you smoke pot??

Maybe you could give a shit about a unbiased view but I doubt it. You wouldn't want your kids teachers preaching their biased beliefs instead of just providing the info and allowing them to make a decision??To me there is a difference between imparting knowledge and pushing beliefs.

Its funny parents will get up in arms about teachers pushing their beliefs (especially me)on their kids but have no problem shoving their own down the kids throats.

What makes our beliefs so damn great. You ever let your ego fade for a brief second and think about that. Who they fuck am I pushing my beliefs on anyone right. Its a scary feeling.

PEACE

 

[redbudduckfoot]

the benefit is teaching your children that not all laws are good laws. Teenagers need to be taught about Civil Disobedience, and that fact that laws that 50% of the people do not agree with are not good for the people as a whole.

In some states a first time conviction for rape can get less of a jail sentence than possession of dried plant material. The future(our children) need to know that this kind of situation is fucking outrageous, and they have the power to change the status quo.

Plus, kids respect you when you are honest with them, and treat them like adults. They hate it when they feel like their parents are deceiving them.

rbdf

 

[kmk420kali]

the benefit is teaching your children that not all laws are good laws. Teenagers need to be taught about Civil Disobedience, and that fact that laws that 50% of the people do not agree with are not good for the people as a whole.

In some states a first time conviction for rape can get less of a jail sentence than possession of dried plant material. The future(our children) need to know that this kind of situation is fucking outrageous, and they have the power to change the status quo.

Plus, kids respect you when you are honest with them, and treat them like adults. They hate it when they feel like their parents are deceiving them.

rbdf

Whoever gave this a neg...can suck it!!
redbudduckfoot speaks the truth here!!

 

[SeaMaiden]

Hey nothing like a mom to set a dad straight more power to you and thanks for the different opinion.

My wife and I chose to try not to fight/argue, drink or smoke in front of our kids. In the beginning of my long winded post I made a point that everyone has different parenting styles so its always tough to have these discussions and man especially with a mother.

You know what else I don't believe in is GOD and you know what else i never pushed on my kids was my disbelief in GOD.

Ohh... that's a good one. Very much like how my own parents handled the religion issue. They were brought up Catholics, then eschewed the church and left it up to each of us girls.

To me it was important for my kids to get many ideas not just mine. If asked I would have told them but i always allowed them to experience church and faith with their friends if they wanted too. I never once put my two cents in. This is too big of a decision for them to have their parent to step in and preach what they profess to be right or wrong. Discuss absolutely.

I remember my discussion when my daughter left for college. I told her a long winded story but I ended on;

"I'm just one person with one opinion you need to find others to see where you fit in. I don't have beliefs I have ideas and ideas were meant to be challenged beliefs aren't. Ask any fanatic . "

I will never claim to be the answer to everything any person needs in life especially my kids. When someone tells you they are absolutely sure about something run like hell because they are full of shit.

When it comes to life lessons no one has the complete answers.
I agree that telling your kids what you have done in your past to show your life lesson is a great idea more power to you. But in my opinion if you think for one second that by smoking or drinking or preaching religion(for or against) in front of your kids isn't a form of enabling we disagree.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'enabling' here.

Is it the end of the world no. Does it make you a horrible parent hell no!! I hope that's not what you thought I said.

No, it's not what you said. The message that I got was awfully close to a woman we knew, through her daughter. Her daughter who had zero guidance, whose mother let her do anything and everything she chose from a very early age, and it cost this girl. When she came to live with us she told me I was the closest thing to a real mother she'd ever had, and considering the message her mother had sent her (do ANYTHING to be with a man!) I was very glad I was able to offer her that much. What you wrote reminded me of that.

Again I'm not saying a glass of wine is bad hell I told you I am a week human my self who smokes and drinks. All I'm saying all things have consequences and most people because of the inherent human ego refuse to see them but they are there.

I'm interested in hearing what your child actually gains from you telling them you smoke pot.

Ah, my child gains insight and knowing what I do or don't do allows them to make observations, which is an extremely important part of critical thinking skills. However, I never told my kids I smoke pot. I talked to them a LOT about sex, and as a result they've had fairly healthy sex lives, have never made an unwanted or unexpected child or gotten diseases, and I think that's due to my openness and honesty.

I also think that the problems they've had with other drugs could have been avoided had I only been as open and honest with them about all of that, instead of leaving it to DARE.

So now I have my granddaughter, and I decided, after discussing it with her parents, that I would be open and honest with her. I have taught her what my 'smoking flowers' are, and what they're for. She knows that they're medicine and for adults only. Just like sex is for adults only. My goal is to give her all the tools necessary for her to make the best decisions for herself, and within that goal is ensuring to the best of our ability a happy, healthy person who contributes to society. When she's old enough, she's going to learn that people do certain things for recreation, such as drinking and smoking. She's not old enough for that right now.

Hide what you do and you lose that opportunity to teach your kids. That's what my kids didn't gain when I didn't tell them about what I did, but my granddaughter will.

Because I know you and I both want whats best for our kids it was obvious in your post you are a good mom.

And grandmother, too.

Tell me what more they gain then having a general discussion about drugs then telling them you smoke pot.
Especially in a non-med state and the last time I checked there are way more non-med states.

What bit of knowledge are you imparting differently??? What life lesson are they gaining from telling them you smoke rather than providing facts about the drug and its culture??

That I am human. That part of the human condition, part of being human includes drug use and that it has long before we were ever H. sapiens. That it can be done intelligently, without causing harm to yourself or others. That, were I in a non-medical state, there is such a thing as bad laws, and if you observe a bad law you *must* do what you can to change it or you're as guilty of committing a crime as the 'criminal.' Now, that's a hell of an idea, ain't it? But I didn't share with my boys because back then it was no more legal in California than it was anywhere else, just less harsh penalties. I still have difficulties getting over the paranoia that's been so deeply ingrained.

Is this lesson more important than giving your child a unbiased view of the drug?
Do you think you can give a unbiased view if you tell them you smoke pot??

First I'd like to know what you mean by 'unbiased view' before I try to answer that. What is an unbiased view? Being pro- or anti-cannabis? Or...?

I can only give them my view, no one else's. I can argue the truths I know as well as the untruths, again though, only as *I* see them. And I think I can give them balance by sharing my views.

Maybe you could give a shit about a unbiased view but I doubt it. You wouldn't want your kids teachers preaching their biased beliefs instead of just providing the info and allowing them to make a decision??To me there is a difference between imparting knowledge and pushing beliefs.

Indeed, and since you said you have a daughter in college I'm sure you may have had instances where she had a teacher or two who essentially pushed their beliefs. I know my boys and the other kids I've been involved with have had teachers like that, and those people can be incredibly influential, especially if their words are not balanced by the child's parents.

Its funny parents will get up in arms about teachers pushing their beliefs (especially me)on their kids but have no problem shoving their own down the kids throats.

I don't see that as odd at all, it's what parents are supposed to do.

What makes our beliefs so damn great. You ever let your ego fade for a brief second and think about that. Who they fuck am I pushing my beliefs on anyone right. Its a scary feeling.

PEACE

I hope that my beliefs are what have made me who I am, and as such, I am hopeful that those beliefs may be imparted to my sons, because I believe that this world needs more critical thinkers instead of lock-steppers. So far it's working pretty well, because my sons question me all the time, and that was a huge part of my goal. They are their mother's sons as far as that goes, that much is for sure!

I can see that our approaches to parenting are quite different.

 

[dddaver]

18, unless they asked questions and then anyway the cerebellum (or maybe it's the cerebrum cortex, I don't remember ;-0 cause actually it don't matter to me anyway) in the skull/brain hasn't come together completely in humans till about age 25. Nuff said. And every case is different too, so much as not to make any blanket statements about that. We just can't expect kids to always make the best decisions. We can try. Should try. That's one of the things good "parenting" is to me.

 

[redbudduckfoot]

Whoever gave this a neg...can suck it!!
redbudduckfoot speaks the truth here!!

thanks, kmk420kali, I find neg rep just helps ya grow thicker skin. Motherfucka probably just wished he said it himself, and Neg Rep was given because I beat them to it.

rbdf

 

[FRANKENBLUNT420]

My son is twelve, he went to a sports camp and was around older kids smoking a bong. He told me about it and I broke it all down to him. I showed him what it looked like and the whole deal.Too soon?

i think that as soon as they know or havve been exposed its better you get to them first before anyone else does

or he may be a lil bit more comfortable to try it out while around the wrong crowd.

at least with you explaining it to him thoroughly he'll not only have a understanding but a foundation. if he smokes he'll know why, if he grows he'll know why.

 

[FRANKENBLUNT420]

the benefit is teaching your children that not all laws are good laws. Teenagers need to be taught about Civil Disobedience, and that fact that laws that 50% of the people do not agree with are not good for the people as a whole.

In some states a first time conviction for rape can get less of a jail sentence than possession of dried plant material. The future(our children) need to know that this kind of situation is fucking outrageous, and they have the power to change the status quo.

Plus, kids respect you when you are honest with them, and treat them like adults. They hate it when they feel like their parents are deceiving them.

rbdf

yeah, im going through the thread and whoever did neg rep this is a fucktard. this is not only the truth but an absolute of society!! as a parent we cant be raising the next generation of "sheeple".

 

[tamworthrope]

Ohh... that's a good one. Very much like how my own parents handled the religion issue. They were brought up Catholics, then eschewed the church and left it up to each of us girls.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'enabling' here.

No, it's not what you said. The message that I got was awfully close to a woman we knew, through her daughter. Her daughter who had zero guidance, whose mother let her do anything and everything she chose from a very early age, and it cost this girl. When she came to live with us she told me I was the closest thing to a real mother she'd ever had, and considering the message her mother had sent her (do ANYTHING to be with a man!) I was very glad I was able to offer her that much. What you wrote reminded me of that.

Ah, my child gains insight and knowing what I do or don't do allows them to make observations, which is an extremely important part of critical thinking skills. However, I never told my kids I smoke pot. I talked to them a LOT about sex, and as a result they've had fairly healthy sex lives, have never made an unwanted or unexpected child or gotten diseases, and I think that's due to my openness and honesty.

I also think that the problems they've had with other drugs could have been avoided had I only been as open and honest with them about all of that, instead of leaving it to DARE.

So now I have my granddaughter, and I decided, after discussing it with her parents, that I would be open and honest with her. I have taught her what my 'smoking flowers' are, and what they're for. She knows that they're medicine and for adults only. Just like sex is for adults only. My goal is to give her all the tools necessary for her to make the best decisions for herself, and within that goal is ensuring to the best of our ability a happy, healthy person who contributes to society. When she's old enough, she's going to learn that people do certain things for recreation, such as drinking and smoking. She's not old enough for that right now.

Hide what you do and you lose that opportunity to teach your kids. That's what my kids didn't gain when I didn't tell them about what I did, but my granddaughter will.

And grandmother, too.

That I am human. That part of the human condition, part of being human includes drug use and that it has long before we were ever H. sapiens. That it can be done intelligently, without causing harm to yourself or others. That, were I in a non-medical state, there is such a thing as bad laws, and if you observe a bad law you *must* do what you can to change it or you're as guilty of committing a crime as the 'criminal.' Now, that's a hell of an idea, ain't it? But I didn't share with my boys because back then it was no more legal in California than it was anywhere else, just less harsh penalties. I still have difficulties getting over the paranoia that's been so deeply ingrained.

First I'd like to know what you mean by 'unbiased view' before I try to answer that. What is an unbiased view? Being pro- or anti-cannabis? Or...?

I can only give them my view, no one else's. I can argue the truths I know as well as the untruths, again though, only as *I* see them. And I think I can give them balance by sharing my views.

Indeed, and since you said you have a daughter in college I'm sure you may have had instances where she had a teacher or two who essentially pushed their beliefs. I know my boys and the other kids I've been involved with have had teachers like that, and those people can be incredibly influential, especially if their words are not balanced by the child's parents.

I don't see that as odd at all, it's what parents are supposed to do.

I hope that my beliefs are what have made me who I am, and as such, I am hopeful that those beliefs may be imparted to my sons,

because I believe that this world needs more critical thinkers instead of lock-steppers.

So far it's working pretty well, because my sons question me all the time, and that was a huge part of my goal. They are their mother's sons as far as that goes, that much is for sure!

I can see that our approaches to parenting are quite different.

I love a good discussion and could go on and on but I'm done because of the above statement. I love me some grandma Seamaiden.

Although I will probably get flamed by someone and deservedly so that statement seems to come from a Darwinain and I love it.

I guess i cant help myself one last statement to a person i have grown to respect through this thread.

Enabling in my mind means if someone of authority does something mom/dad come to mind since we are discussing kids but it can be police, politicians. Anyone that is held in regard i.e a role model you are more likely to do it also.

Usually without a clear understanding of the subject matter and just because the role model is doing it. You called it medicine to your grand kids but as they grow they will be more likely to try it because of their grandma. Is that good or bad that's for each parent to decide.

 

[ekomsi]

i knew my parents smoked at age 7, lol. then the fucking D.A.R.E. program tryed to brainwash me and i thought my parents were criminals for a few days. i finally broke down, cried my eyes out to my parents, and they told me what was up. my older sister also helped me come to grips that it was okay.

Look at me now. maybe 7 was a little to early.

RBDF

not gonna lie this post made me laugh for a good 30 seconds haha, i grew up in the 90's my dad, and grandpa hid smoking pot from me, I was upset when I found out they smoked weed around 10yrs old, but I knew nothing but what I heard from school about drugs. I now smoke with both of them, but I wish someone would have been more upfront with me so I would not have been so upset when I found out about their smoking. My dad always says "he thinks hidding it from me was a good thing look at how you turned out", and its hard to disagree, I was a lot more behaved and hardly got into anything trouble in my highschool and college days compared to him, but look at me now as RBDF said.

When my children are old enough to understand what Im smoking I will tell them, I dont want to hide it from them but at the same time I think its irresponsible to smoke anything around/same room/car as young children. Second hand smoke is just not good for a childs health. I want my kids educated about everything important in life, sex, drugs, and money lol....... Im not saying those three are everything important in life im just saying.........

 

[tamworthrope]

the benefit is teaching your children that not all laws are good laws. Teenagers need to be taught about Civil Disobedience, and that fact that laws that 50% of the people do not agree with are not good for the people as a whole.

In some states a first time conviction for rape can get less of a jail sentence than possession of dried plant material. The future(our children) need to know that this kind of situation is fucking outrageous, and they have the power to change the status quo.

Plus, kids respect you when you are honest with them, and treat them like adults. They hate it when they feel like their parents are deceiving them.

rbdf

I totally agree with your statement but I don't think there is a link to telling your kids you smoke pot.

Here's what I know about kids they are the most animalistic form of a homsapien there is. Left to their own devices the will torture the week and take advantage of any kindness given to them. You ever read "Lord of the Flies".
They need guidance and yes truth is good but I distinguish between truth and withholding information. I dont tell my friends everything about myself and that goes for my kids too.

 

[wildgrow]

When my 11 year old snuck into my closet, took a picture and then posted it to her KidsBop profile. Holy Shit! Good thing Im a parent that keeps up their kids. I went right to her page and deleted it. I never hid it from my kids nor flaunted it. When that happened, I explained everything about it being legal as a medicine to help my back and help me sleep. They were being brainwashed.

 

[SeaMaiden]

Not all kids are that way, certainly not all teenagers. Boys are more prone than girls, but again, I can think of exceptions immediately, not the least of whom would be my youngest (Touretter) boy. He is, without a doubt, the kindest, gentlest person God could have given me for my offspring. And it certainly wasn't ME who made him that way, I just tried to teach him my best.

But with him it's like this; do you need a shirt? Ok, have mine. All his life it's been like that.

I love a good discussion and could go on and on but I'm done because of the above statement. I love me some grandma Seamaiden.

Although I will probably get flamed by someone and deservedly so that statement seems to come from a Darwinain and I love it.

I guess i cant help myself one last statement to a person i have grown to respect through this thread.

Enabling in my mind means if someone of authority does something mom/dad come to mind since we are discussing kids but it can be police, politicians. Anyone that is held in regard i.e a role model you are more likely to do it also.

Usually without a clear understanding of the subject matter and just because the role model is doing it. You called it medicine to your grand kids but as they grow they will be more likely to try it because of their grandma. Is that good or bad that's for each parent to decide.

See, that's the thing, I don't know that she'll be more likely to try it. I often think she could end up doing like a lot of my friends did when I was younger.

I'll simply make the observations, and we go from there.

I had two friends whose parents were FULL ON hippies. I mean full on hippies. Love beads, fringe, homespun clothing, peace love and Bobby Sherman. Those friends rebelled against their folks by becoming their polar opposites, completely conventional, non-drug using people. I saw the same thing happen with my friends whose parents were so conventional, too. They rebelled by becoming opposites.

So, will my granddaughter decide to try cannabis, perhaps at too young an age, because she's seen me and I've been open and honest about it? I don't know. I hope that I have given her the tools of discretion and judgement as well as critical thinking.

Interestingly enough, I've been a teetotaler for many decades. My own boys have never seen me drink, or smoke cigarettes. Has that played a role in their decisions?

 

[Skinny Leaf]

Even the most well-intentioned parent can not beat peer pressure.

 

[supermanlives]

my kid was like 14 i think. small town no dare bullshit. i told him everything. he told me he had taken a few tokes already with friends. he gets gifts in the mail occasionally to this day. and when in town i drop him off somethin. good kid and i am glad he didnt become a junkie. cause half the town is. the park by the water where i used to push his stroller is littred with junkie crap. almost tossed one in the river last visit. i dont like junkies at all no exceptions.